Being a single female, looking for casual sexual partners can be just as frustrating at it appears to be for the men. One thing that always strikes me when I place an ad on here is that men really don't know much about the experience from a woman's perspective and so I'd like to share with you what happens to me.

When I place an photo ad on here looking for a single guy, I probably get around 200 replies if I let that ad run for a week. Of those, about 3 or 4 will result in successful meetings. The reasons why the others fail can most often be avoided.

I'm very clear about what I want and what I don't want, yet some guys fail to properly read and understand my ad. Replies range from clinical and cold one liners like “I've got a 9in black cock” to two or three page biographies detailing painful divorce that I've barely got time to read. One recurring problem will run through a lot of them; after reading their replies I still don't know whether they can comply with the things I'm looking for. It's then that I have to start asking questions, and after around 50 such responses I lose the will to deal with the rest.

All of these men could have got a lot further by simply writing one friendly, genuine paragraph telling me a little about themselves and the things they like, where they are based and acknowledging the fact they have studied my ad and can supply all of the things I'm looking for.

Next, sadly, I do come across men that are just plain thoughtless. The “Cut and Paste” bandits are the ones that get my goat. With every ad I place, I'm guaranteed to get at least two replies that are clearly adapted letters in response to someone else. Sometimes, they are even addressed to someone else! Tsk! To those guys that do this, sorry, but you ain't getting anywhere with me!

Photo attachments are another pain. It takes only 10 guys to send me 500k photos and my inbox gets blocked. If you really want to send attachments with an initial response (and personally, I'm happy to wait until I've decided if the guy is a possibility), make them as small as possible. And I'm really not interested in shots of genitalia (although some other women might be). I've seen more erect penises than most men have; what I really would like to see are the guys' faces.

By this time it's taken me around a week to sift 200 to around 12 and it's becoming more of a job than a bit of harmless fun. Eagerly, I start fixing up dates to see them. Now, here is the thing that will baffle a lot of people (it certainly baffles me), I then start to find the guys getting cold feet! When faced with a real situation of an encounter with a real woman, for some reason over half of the men on my shortlist won't see it through. Excuses range from sudden family commitments to illness to just plain ignoring my attempts to contact them. In some very annoying cases, they just leave me waiting in the arranged place and stand me up.

I always end up wishing that of those first replies, more had been properly thought out. And I wish the guys would actually think things through to the point of a real encounter. I am sure my experiences aren't that different to any single woman out there on the swinging scene.

Single guys do complain a lot about not getting anywhere with women, so now you know what us girls have to contend with. Be polite, be sincere and be up for it. And if you get no reply at first, try writing a couple of weeks later. About a month after I place an ad, I'm usually ready for further guys to contact me as most of the first batch bombed out.

Heather x