Quote by neilinleeds
as the expression is more often used as 'we are not hardened', it does not tell people what you are like.
but where i think it could applied is for people who are rigid about what they do, more or less dictating any experience with them, becoming entirely for their purposes only.

Disagree.
Most new swingers / first timers are extremely rigid about any experience with them and will dictate exactly what they will and wont do. In fact, it's not really until you are comfortable or a "regular" swinger that most people find that their boundaries become less rigid and more adaptable.
I can kind of see Laird though how you might, as a regular swinger posessed of these more open and relaxed boundaries you describe, eventually come back almost full circle to the point you started out from where your boundaries are almost set in stone. My reasoning's this . . .
I would define swinging broadly as the exploration of the mental, emotional and physical aspects of sexuality . . . your own, your partner's, and the third somewhat abstract entity that is created out of the combination of those two things together. As you progress, and explore, what those three things actually consist of becomes more and more defined. You find more things that you enjoy, and more things that you don't enjoy, singly and together. Does there then come a point where there's no longer anything left to explore, because you've been there and done it, either in reality or in imagination, and found your absolute boundaries?
That would be my definition of a hardened swinger. Someone who has explored the mental, emotional and physical aspects to their limits, as far as their limits will allow until all that remains is the closed set of physical acts they continue to enjoy. Quite why that should be used in a pejorative sense I don't know, though broadly speaking I would prefer to play with those who still have boundaries left to explore. That is more of a two-way mutual exchange to my mind.
N x x x ;)
oooooooooooo Niel, I like your definition.
Until now I had always thought of a hardened swinger as someone who would shag anyone purely for the sexual release, someone who never says "no" to any offer.

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