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best i could come up with i apologise in advance 
For most of us, Chinese is a very difficult language to learn or understand. Hopefully, these simplifications will help you understand the Chinese language just a bit better!
Ai Bang Mai Ne - I bumped into the coffee table
Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift
Dum Gai - A stupid person
Gun Pao Der - An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung - Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding - We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive
Jan Ne Ka Sun - A former late night talk show host
Kum Hia - Approach me
Lao Ze Sho - Dawson's Creek
Lao Zi - Not very good
Lin Ching - An illegal execution
Moon Lan Ding - A great achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn - A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Shai Gai - A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be - A premature infant
Tai Ne Po Ne - A small horse
Ten Ding Ba - Serving drinks to people
Wan Bum Lung - A person with T.B.
Yu Mai Te Tan - Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah - Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim - Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai U Shao Ting -- There is no reason to raise your voice
well i smiled but then im easily pleased
:lol: :lol:
For most of us, Chinese is a very difficult language to learn or understand. Hopefully, these simplifications will help you understand the Chinese language just a bit better!
Ai Bang Mai Ne - I bumped into the coffee table
Chin Tu Fat - You need a face lift
Dum Gai - A stupid person
Gun Pao Der - An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung - Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding - We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive
Jan Ne Ka Sun - A former late night talk show host
Kum Hia - Approach me
Lao Ze Sho - Dawson's Creek
Lao Zi - Not very good
Lin Ching - An illegal execution
Moon Lan Ding - A great achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn - A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Shai Gai - A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be - A premature infant
Tai Ne Po Ne - A small horse
Ten Ding Ba - Serving drinks to people
Wan Bum Lung - A person with T.B.
Yu Mai Te Tan - Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah - Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim - Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai U Shao Ting -- There is no reason to raise your voice
well i smiled but then im easily pleased
:lol: :lol: 
drive a bus for a living ,5.7 about 12 stone short hair i think mostly grey now live in central london looking to make new friends and enjoy life:)