Now you know that ain't fair. Ah'm stuck with these hooves and you all got sharp claws.
Jesus, wasssup man, you got a fat lip or somin, that's sure is a lisp you have there. We need to get that sorted for you.
Now Shrekbandanna - that just ain't funny you know, ain't funny at all, can ya seem me laffin, no you can't, that ain't funny man. You made me look a right ass then by exposing yer pink piece just as I commented on how butch and historical you looked.
Ma reputation is in tatters.
Ah Bandana Man, what you done, you've gone historical now. That couldn't have been a better idea if I had thought that up myself ah tell ya. People will surely take you seriously, real serious I mean, the princesses will be queuing up for ya ShrekBandanna.
Can you help me, I've got potions and ointments all over me - Ah ain't never gonna be steedly with these smells and this greased up fur.
Vunder Vumman - ah maybe steedly and manly, but ah got this rash ........ see! It's itchy and everything man. How's a donkey supposed to perform like this. Ah need some TLC, yeah that's what ah need. How about some TLC Vunder Vumman.
What a day ..... this heat ain't no good for a donkey, how can ah be a noble steed in this weather. Ah've given myself a hEEt rash n all, look! Bought on by stress, all of it.
Pleeeeese tell bandanna the smile that was humping Odious man yesterday - well he's sniffin Bandannas groin. He don't listen to me anymore, we's best friends n all.
Jeezus Bandana, could't you put on some black boxers or sommink ......... Ah can't cope with this, it's stressin me out Bandanna, look at me man - got me twitch back an everything.
Ai Sarge ......... what have you done to ma mate Shrek, now I know he ain't everyones cup o tea but he sure as hell looked better than he does now. He looks as outta place as one of them gay dancers at a hen party, ah can't bear to look at him. You gotta sort him out man - he's gotta get a princess by Sunday.
slyly steps back one pace and holds Sarge in place by the foot
Oh jeeeesuz Bandanna Shrek, whadya do that for. You can't walk around like that, even I can't focus on ya face now and I'm ya best mate man.
Put it away man, you'll have someones eye out in a minute.
Now Jessica, can I rescue you? You need rescuing? cos if ya do, I'm the one to do it - I have credentials now, ya know.
As for that Bandanna man.
take no head.
