The main problem with timewasters, I would imagine, is the wasted time. It must be disheartening for someone to put in the time and effort and be let down again and again. I appreciate that everyone is here for different reasons, and just having sexy chats and seeing people's pictures is as valid as anything - but it would be nice if they don't pretend that they're offering something else just to lure people in. Honesty is key in everything.
My suggestion is to spend time in chat and go to socials. The people who fit in and are accepted by others over the long term are probably going to be better chances than the messages out of the blue.
Sadly, whatever you do, it's going to require work, and will always come with a few disappointments. And even the most genuine have to let you down sometimes.
(says the single guy with almost nothing in his profile and shrep not switched on)
Brilliant night. Thank you H&S for all your hard behind the scenes work. And my endless apologies to all the people who I couldn't find to say hello to. I wanted to!
All the action was in the forum when I joined. I lurked for a bit to get some feel for the place, then jumped in with a post (if I remember correctly) challenging Blue to "do your worst". Anyone who remembers Blue will understand how that went... Fun times.
Does anyone remember the alternative chat room? I think there were only about three of us who ever used it.
It's very different now. Still good, just in a different way. Things change.
Glad to see you're still around, Minxy.
If you're nervous, first don't be :-) everyone's lovely. But it might help to arrange for someone you know to look after you at the start. That way you're not walking straight into the big crowd of strangers. Once you get chatting with people, I'm sure any first-time nerves will vanish.
Just noticed my name isn't in bold yet. I thought I'd confirmed. Never mind, I'll do it now. Hotel booked, train tickets bought, ready to go.
You must come and visit my new wine bar, The Grope Vine.
Another excellent night. Thanks H and S for putting it all together. It was lovely to see the people I managed to see. And for the others, I'm not letting you hide next time.
I believe there's a bit of pub-going in the afternoon, and some people go out and get some food beforehand. There are even people who get there the day before and ... I'm not sure what happens. Mostly knitting and bible study, I think.
I don't know how these things are organised. My usual approach is to stand around looking lost, but that's how I go through life in general.
A lot depends on which room you're in, and what time of day. Some are packed and fast, and it can be hard for new people to find a space. Others are more relaxed. Some can even be welcoming and friendly. It's worth having a bit of a look around before giving up on them.
Your next move is to find someone else.
Your lodger is not there for your sexual satisfaction; she's there because she needs somewhere to stay. She doesn't need the extra uncertainty of wondering if she can trust you, or whether she needs to lock her door at night.
If she was someone you met once somewhere, in public, then it would be different. You could ask, and if she says no then that's the end of it. Here, you already have a different relationship, based on trust, and she spends a lot of time alone in your presence. We all need to feel safe. Show some respect and don't take that away from her.
And don't go through her things. That's ultra creepy.
Is that what you get up to on the Friday night? I'll have to come along.
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.
Behold his bed; threescore valiant men are about it.
How fair and pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!
This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts clusters of grapes.
I am my beloved's, and his desire is towards me.
On second thoughts, I'm much too innocent for this religious stuff.
Put me down too. I'll try to not be dying of man-flu this time.