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Erectoman
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 94
0 miles · Greater London

Forum

Quote by Hiro_nakamura
:giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle: :giggle:
PMSL
I SAW

Piss off! redface surprisedops: :oops: :oops:
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Quote by Captain_areola
well i went to the wrong place, should have gone to he vulva first what now dunno

You said vulva redface
I'll be back in a minute bolt
He meant the planet Vulva - where moisture gushes (if yer lucky) when you come into contact with planet Clitoris.
We've got to work out a way to get the moisture from Vulva to Clitoris.
What if all we superheroes put our pipes together - do think that will get clitoris wet?
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Quote by Hiro_nakamura

In fact the baby oil is starting to smoke like a well prepared wok .... are we ready to start cooking girls??? :twisted: :twisted:
yeah wheres that chicken when you need him

rotflmao
Hehe - I thought I wrote that. You're not what you seem are you.... confused
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Well I was rather distracted whilst having my clitoris saved :grin:
Don't tell me it's saved already - am I too late?
I haven't even got one of me erections out yet!! sad :(
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Noooo nooooo, not saved yet, this quest is a lengthy one :twisted:
blimy how long does it take to get THE CLITORUS wet then
I told you it's soaking on the planet Vulva! we've got to work out a way of transporting it to Clitoris.
Somebody must have a suggestion! ????
Failing that I'll have to use the piping inside one of my erections.
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Quote by Buffyvampslayer

In fact the baby oil is starting to smoke like a well prepared wok .... are we ready to start cooking girls??? :twisted: :twisted:
yeah wheres that chicken when you need him

rotflmao
Hehe - I thought I wrote that. You're not what you seem are you.... confused
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Well I was rather distracted whilst having my clitoris saved :grin:
Don't tell me it's saved already - am I too late?
I haven't even got one of me erections out yet!! sad :(
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Quote by Thrud
<<<<<<<< Fahrenheit arrives with carefully drawn out maps for the men and 2 truckloads of baby oil. I think I've got it covered :undecided: just need a few men that have more staying power than Captain Aereola and we should have it sorted rolleyes

Ummmm, Can I eat it?, and do I need to kill it first?
There is eating involved yes my dear Thrud, here let me guide you :grin:
Thrud approaches Catlike, axe at the ready... sniff sniff…………..
“hummm!, should be safe, this one smells dead to me” poke
Catlike ------ Thrud dunno rotflmao
Quote by Buffyvampslayer

In fact the baby oil is starting to smoke like a well prepared wok .... are we ready to start cooking girls??? :twisted: :twisted:
yeah wheres that chicken when you need him

rotflmao
Hehe - I thought I wrote that. You're not what you seem are you.... confused Edit - see it now...your hands really aren'tworking too well are they. Just relax and let me lower you back and I'll take over.
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Quote by Hiro_nakamura
<<<<<<<< Fahrenheit arrives with carefully drawn out maps for the men and 2 truckloads of baby oil. I think I've got it covered :undecided: just need a few men that have more staying power than Captain Aereola and we should have it sorted rolleyes

will the baby oil get us there quicker ?
Without a doubt :twisted:
shall we oil each other up then
OK Hiro - turn on the satnav and here we go!! I'll get the bucket of oil.
Dammit - bloody satnav - sent us up a dead-end again. Oi! there's no lighting in here....... :shock:
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Quote by Fahrenheit
<<<<<<<< Fahrenheit arrives with carefully drawn out maps for the men and 2 truckloads of baby oil. I think I've got it covered :undecided: just need a few men that have more staying power than Captain Aereola and we should have it sorted rolleyes

Welcome Farenheit, you come prepared biggrin Let the quest begin :rascal:
Hello Buffy are you joining me in the clitoris rejuvenation project confused:
Well I can see I'm not going to have to warm yours - it's already HOT.
In fact the baby oil is starting to smoke like a well prepared wok .... are we ready to start cooking girls??? :twisted: :twisted:
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Quote by Fahrenheit
<<<<<<<< Fahrenheit arrives with carefully drawn out maps for the men and 2 truckloads of baby oil. I think I've got it covered :undecided: just need a few men that have more staying power than Captain Aereola and we should have it sorted rolleyes

I'm right behind you :twisted:
That was precisely my point about maps :roll:
So am I but I have long stretchy arms.
Has anyone seen my latest erection?
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Quote by Buffyvampslayer

Why thank you Erectoman kiss I don't seem to be able to use my fingers this evening do I? :lol2: Looks like I could do with some help in more ways than one. Not a hope of saving Clitoris if they won't work :grin:

Now yer gonna have to get out of this DIY frame of mind and lie back and think of Transylvania :twisted:
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OK guys - things to do to stop Clitoris becoming barren and dry.
1) Warm it
2) Caress it
3) Stroke it
4) Lick it
5) Blow on it gently
6) Suck it
Now all of this OK but in fact it produces the moisture in the wrong place - it starts raining on the planet Vulva instead. So now we have to get the moisture to the right place - yup, it is now a transportation problem.
I'd like to say that this is where my erection comes in but that's not true (it comes later redface Oh jeez - someone grab this shovel out of my hand please).
So who's gonna solve the transportation problem?
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Quote by Buffyvampslayer
One vampslayer in need of TLC. The downside to being a superheroine is that we do tend to get supersized hangovers rolleyes
Now I'm feeling almost human I'll take up Mal's challenge, I'll do all that I can for Clitoris :rascal:

Can I help?? - look I've sorted yer colours out for you (I think) kiss
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Errr Mr Mal - do you mean summat like this?
<< to be sung to the tune of Doddy's 'Happiness' >>
Oh Clitoris, Clitoris,
The greatest thing on Artemis,
I thank the Lord, who gave me this,
Access to Arty's cl-ii-t-oooo-r-iiiisss!

Altogether now.....!
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Quote by Hiro_nakamura

Come behold the fertile Artemis,
She of the hunt and animal wild,
Appollo, he soars high in the heavens,
But caress me well, Oh Leto's child.

blimey... I'm nearly there!
told you she would hear you lol
And I wasn't SHOUTING - I was just being a bit obvious.
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Quote by Artemis
Good evening to you all
So sorry I am late.
I was out last night till half past three
And internet had to wait.
So this is my first foray
Into the world of the masquerade
My other self is rather shy;
This one needs to get laid
Ive set up my new account
I'm feeling kinda frisky
I've steadied my nerves with a small G&T
And half a pint of whisky lol

aaah the poet... I go all goey for the poet :lol:
Erectoman, Erectoman,
He's big and strong,
Erectoman, Erectoman,
He can become long,
Erectoman, Erectoman
Look out for his kiss,
Erectoman, Erectoman,
He loves Artemis.
Gooey yet?
wink
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moderately... getting there, come come talk some more... :thrilled:
Come behold the fertile Artemis,
She of the hunt and animal wild,
Appollo, he soars high in the heavens,
But caress me well, Oh Leto's child.

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Quote by Hiro_nakamura
Well dogging does sound like fun hump

What is dogging it sounds like fun :mrgreen:
Ancient British ritual, where people park their cars around sex. Bit similar to drive-in Sumo wrestling.
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Quote by Artemis
rolleyes Just my luck :roll:
A superhero with premature ejaculation :roll:

rotflmao
Right I am back, and oh am I horny to the extreme, I need a valiant man (or woman) to come lie with me and we shall talk about carnal sins... or maybe just hump
I just left all me carnal sins in yer vestibule, I think? confused
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I know where they are :rascal: ... whip come
I think I just did. wink redface
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Oi Captain!
Are you the areola borealis - or are you the areola erectus?
If yer the latter, I might have an interesting little project for you. wink
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Where's that Buffy? I hope she hasn't been licked - she's got some slaying to do I reckon.
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Quote by Artemis
rolleyes Just my luck :roll:
A superhero with premature ejaculation :roll:

rotflmao
Right I am back, and oh am I horny to the extreme, I need a valiant man (or woman) to come lie with me and we shall talk about carnal sins... or maybe just hump
I just left all me carnal sins in yer vestibule, I think? confused
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Quote by Artemis
Good evening to you all
So sorry I am late.
I was out last night till half past three
And internet had to wait.
So this is my first foray
Into the world of the masquerade
My other self is rather shy;
This one needs to get laid
Ive set up my new account
I'm feeling kinda frisky
I've steadied my nerves with a small G&T
And half a pint of whisky lol

aaah the poet... I go all goey for the poet :lol:
Erectoman, Erectoman,
He's big and strong,
Erectoman, Erectoman,
He can become long,
Erectoman, Erectoman
Look out for his kiss,
Erectoman, Erectoman,
He loves Artemis.
Gooey yet?
wink
.
Quote by Artemis
Right I'm back!
Rebuilding all those buildings took a bit longer than I thought it would.
Right which one of you lovely ladies wants to come and see my erection?
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whip I like erections.... :grin:
Shall we meet in the 'vestibule' wink .
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Right I'm back!
Rebuilding all those buildings took a bit longer than I thought it would.
Right which one of you lovely ladies wants to come and see my erection?
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Quote by Huntress
So thats why its been so busy on the streets tonight, you're all in here relaxing & Im out there fighting the Friday night crimes all by myself!!!
banghead

Excuse me! I've been out fighting crime all night!
Some of the buildings around here are just criminal.
I've knocked a few of 'em down and I'm gonna build 'em again before breakfast.
Then I'd like a nice cuppa if anyone's offering?
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Quote by Buffyvampslayer
That's nothing - I can reach you from here. Just lie back and let me ease the binary from your spine.
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:shock: Arms herself with her stake
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: Hey hold it - HOLD IT! I've just got stretchy arms that's all.
When I said you can come and slay me I didn't mean it literally :scared:
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Quote by Buffyvampslayer

:welcome: Erectoman, we need some more male heroes in here, Superchicken has been ruling the roost til now :giggle:

Hmmm had a super chicken sandwich fer lunch today.
Is your super power regeneration then matey? wink
Hey Buffs, you can come and slay me if you like. I could show you one of me erections at the same time :wink: .
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Quote by Cybergirl

Yes ....... when not erect & folded in half! :rascal:

KerrrrrBBBBBBBANGGGGGGGG!
You called?
Erectoman at your service!
I've been banging on the door for an hour and all i've had is someone trying to sell me an upgrade to a place called Heaven. confused
Here I am large and warmhearted - ready to do some erections. (I'm famous for quite a few fine ones I can tell you but I'm too modest to be specific wink )
Apart from that I'm told I'm a bit loud and clumsy but I can stretch a long way.
Ho-hum.
ohh erectro, you're only 6 miles from me, fancy giving me a rub down, it's been a long day. lol
Six miles??? That's nothing - I can reach you from here. Just lie back and let me ease the binary from your spine.
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What's that whistling sound?
Erectoman looks up to see Supergirl flying backwards. Still can't figure out why she's whistling though. <<<<Erectoman stretches up and plucks supergirl from the sky >>>
Aaah she has no knickers (explains the whistling blink)
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Quote by Superchicken
Yes ....... when not erect & folded in half! :rascal:

KerrrrrBBBBBBBANGGGGGGGG!
You called?
Erectoman at your service!
I've been banging on the door for an hour and all i've had is someone trying to sell me an upgrade to a place called Heaven. confused
Here I am large and warmhearted - ready to do some erections. (I'm famous for quite a few fine ones I can tell you but I'm too modest to be specific wink )
Apart from that I'm told I'm a bit loud and clumsy but I can stretch a long way.
Ho-hum.