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Jesus
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
I know who eveyone is becuase I am omniscient and all seeing!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Oops. Tis time for jesus to becometh unfrocked me thinketh!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Donkey, you have your nouns and verbs mixeth uppeth!
And twas Moses that descendeth from the mountain with thee ten commandments, does thou not knoweth the book of the Lord!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Quote by catwomanhere
Dont you know Jesus under this beautiful outer skin purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr theres a nun lurking :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Then lurketh no more sister and be prepared to receiveth the Lord!
Kneeleth before me!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Quote by D0NKEY
Jesus, wasssup man, you got a fat lip or somin, that's sure is a lisp you have there. We need to get that sorted for you.

Donkey, do not mocketh the Lord!
I'm used to handling donkeys remember, and have ridden many! Take care I do not mount you also!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Quote by catwomanhere
meeeooooooooooow so you woke up at last. Anyway I lifted the robe while you were asleep and hoho hum hum they never wrote in your book about THAT did they :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

It is written that thou cannot look upon the hind parts of the Lord without there being consequenceth!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Oi! Watcheth your claws Simba! My robe is already shreddeth enougheth!
Tis turning into a veritable orgy here!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Now you've gone and torn it Catwomanhere!
I told you no to toucheth the hem of my robe!
What were you trying to do...copeth a grope of the the son of the Lord!
Here removeth your claw!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Fear not Dexter my child!
Those wobbly bits are the works of Satan, given to women so that they may confuseth ye and geteth ye to spill your sticky white stuff upon the ground as did Onan!
Ye must think not of wobbly bits and sundry diverse other bits of womanhood. Ye must resist the temptations of the flesh and turn your mind to pure thoughts.
But if all else faileth...then have a wank my son...here you can borrow my copy of "Nuns with Buns"...go on get along now
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Tis the day of rest. As given to man by my father. You should not be doing any super-heroing today Bandanaman!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Well let me deal with the wines first! Just pee in your glasses.....and behold it is turned into wine! My best party trick!
As for the loaves and fishes let it be done! You got the munchies then? Ah well the lord shall provide!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Back from the lavs.
Regarding that water into wine anybody fancy a top up then?
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Right I'm off to take a leak! Where's the bogs..anyone?
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
I think Betty Boops' on the buffet right now! Quite a spread I see...
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Well go and partake of the buffet repast then! Like everybody else! Tis a celebration not a carnage...
Now does anyone want a drink!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Oi Simba! Doesth thou not know the Lion shalt lie with the lamb! Now desist!
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Listen Betty, my child! I know your living in the stone age and as far as ur concerned I haven't been born yet! But now you have heard my name you will be saved!
Now doe's anyone want to see my party trick...?
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Jesus
Warming the Bed
Hello my children, tis Jesus here! I have cum amongst thee! For this is the 2nd cumming of the lord!
I thought I would visit your Swinging Heaven and see how it compareth with mine fathers old gaff! Hmmm...not bad! Better than all those boring peoples on clouds playing harps all day long!
But I think this place needth livening up a bit...
There you go...that's more like it! A few party cherabim to get the party swinging..but don't tell my dad I borrowed them! wink
Now did I hear someone wanted a drink?
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