Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Mac69
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 72
0 miles · Shropshire
Forum
Hang on, let me try. I'm pushing the cake into the floppy drive - can you see it yet? Anyone else want one?
OH No! The drives turning! My jaffas being munched by the evil FDD. Wait - it stopped and there's orange jellyrunning out.
Did any of it reach you?
Maybe i'll use the CD drive if someone else is hungry...
OH No! The drives turning! My jaffas being munched by the evil FDD. Wait - it stopped and there's orange jellyrunning out.
Did any of it reach you?
Maybe i'll use the CD drive if someone else is hungry...
I wish I'd read the bit about getting the dog out of the way before I tried it.
I am writing this waiting for the ambulance to arrive as I have dislocated both legs and an arm. My bum feels wet, too.
It did work! When I tried to get up I hit my head and saw the stars!
Now, where's tha b***dy dog.......
I am writing this waiting for the ambulance to arrive as I have dislocated both legs and an arm. My bum feels wet, too.
It did work! When I tried to get up I hit my head and saw the stars!
Now, where's tha b***dy dog.......
The cat's not feline herself at the moment. Must be the neat alcohol.....
Bacteria & dust must lead a pretty boring life- no playsations, TV or radio. I think that the vacuum cleaner must gic=ve some exitement to all the bored dustbugs an' all - by cleaning we add a little exitement all round for the poor little things
WHY!! can't I spel write tonyte?
Bacteria & dust must lead a pretty boring life- no playsations, TV or radio. I think that the vacuum cleaner must gic=ve some exitement to all the bored dustbugs an' all - by cleaning we add a little exitement all round for the poor little things
WHY!! can't I spel write tonyte?
If you lie down on the planet, with or without imaginary velcro, can you look DOWN at the stars? Instructions please - I cat the lawn today and I might try it now I know there are no tigers or elephants waiting to ambush me.
I'm going to the chemist tomorrow to get some neat alcohol. A friend told me that if I spray it on the lawn, the grass comes up half-cut already.
I'm going to the chemist tomorrow to get some neat alcohol. A friend told me that if I spray it on the lawn, the grass comes up half-cut already.
OK folks,
Its good to meet you - this is my first post and I hope no-ones offended! This is a chav A-Z so you can understand them!
ASSA COMMONS - Our Parliament Building.
ART ATTACK - Extremely perturbed, as in "Don't tell Sharon. She'll have an art attack."
ARST - Past tense of ask. "Jordan, I must've arst ya free fazzund times to clear up yer room."
BANNSA - A person employed to deny access or eject troublemakers at a club. "Dave's got izself a job as a bannsa."
BANTY - A chocolate and coconut snack bar
BAVE - To wash oneself.
BOAF - The two. "Oi Dave, ooja fancy most, Sharon or Tracy?" "Boaf" is the reply.
BRANSATCH - Motor racing circuit in Kent.
CANCEL - Administrative body of a town. "Darren, wive ad annuvva letter from the cancel."
CANTAFIT - Fake, as in money.
CHOONA - An edible fish purchased in a tin and usually prepared with mayonnaise.
CORT A PANDA - A big hamburger (smaller than an arf panda)
DAN TO URF - Sensible, practical.
DANNING STREET - Where the Prime Minister lives.
DANSTEZ - On the ground floor , where the biggest telly is.
DREKKUN - Do you consider? as in "Which dog drekkun'll win the next race?"
EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty."
EJOG - A small, spiky animal.
ERZ - Belonging to her.
EVVY - A big geezer who protects a smaller and more intelligent geezer, usually for money. "My name's Frank and this is my evvy, Knuckles."
EYEBROW - Cultured, intellectual.
FANTIN - A jet of water for drinking or ornament.
FARVA - A posh way of saying Dad.
FATCHA - Margaret, British Prime Minister 1979 - 1990.
FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off wiv fingy last night."
FONG - Skimpy undergarment.
FOR CRYIN AT LAD - Mild expletive showing annoyance or surprise. "For cryin at lad, Britney, if I say Yes will you give it a rest?"
GAWON - Go on. "Gawon Darren, eat ya granny's cabbage, it'll do yer good."
GIVE IT LARGE - To be thorough or enthusiastic.
GRAND - A football stadium. "It all wennoff atside the pub near the grand."
HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I.
IBEEFA - The Spanish holiday island.
IFFY - Dubious. "Ere, Trace, I fink this bread pudding you made last munf's a bit iffy."
INT - Indirect suggestion. "I gave Darren a sort of int that it was time to wash iz feet."
IPS - An unknown area of a woman's body to which chocolate travels. "That Mars Bar will go straight to me ips."
JA - Do you, did you. "Ja like me new airdo, Sharon."
JACKS - Five Pound note. "Lend us a jacks, wilya?"
JAFTA - Is it really necessary? "Oi mate, jafta keep doing that?"
KAF - Eating house open during the day.
KAFFY - A girl's name.
LAD - Noisy. "Jordan, turn that music dan, it's too lad."
LARJ - Enjoying oneself.
LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal.
LOTREE - Costs £1 for a ticket.
MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park.
MAFFS - The study of numbers.
MANOR - Local area.
MINGER - An unattractive person (usually woman).
NARRA - Lacking breadth, with little margin. "Mum wannid to come rand but changed er mind. That was a narra escape."
NARTAMEAN - Do you know what I mean? (sometimes used as janartamean).
NEEVA - Not one nor the other.
NES - National Elf Service.
OAF - A solemn declaration of truth or committment.
OLLADAY - Time taken away from home for rest and adventure.
ONNIST - Fair and just, without a lie. "I never did it, onnist."
OPPIT - Go away, as in "Oi you, oppit."
PADDA PUFF - Soft, lacking aggression. "They're alright up front but they got a padda puff defence."
PACIFIC - Specific.
PAFFUL - Having much power or strength.
PAIPA - Sun, Mirror etc.
PANS AN ANNSIS - Imperial weight system.
PLAMMANS - A pub lunch usually made up of cheese and bread.
QUALIDEE - Good, as in "West 'Am's new striker's qualidee."
RAND - A number of drinks purchased for a group.
RANDEER - Locally. "There ain't much call for it randeer."
REBAND - Period of recovery after rejection by a lover. "I couldn't 'elp it. I was on the reband from Craig."
ROOFLESS - Without compassion.
SAFF - A direction of the compass, opposite north.
SAFFEND - An Essex seaside town.
SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved.
SEEVIN - Very angry. "I woz seevin when I urd wot 'e sed."
TALENT - Attractive members of the opposite sex. "Dave's gan dan tan to eye up the talent."
TAN ASS - A modern terraced house.
TOP EVVY - A woman of plentiful bosom. "Ere look at that, Darren, she's well top evvy."
UG - An unattractive person. "Sharon's new geezer's a bit of an ug."
UMP - Upset, as in Got the Ump.
VACHER - A document which can be exchanged for goods or services. "I got a vacher to get in cheap at Forp Park."
WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment."
WAWAZUT? - I beg your - A fight commenced as in "It all wennoff".
YAFTA - You must : "Even if yer guilty, yafta av mitigating circumstances."
YOOF OSTALL - A place where holidaymakers can stay the night.
All the best,
Mac
Its good to meet you - this is my first post and I hope no-ones offended! This is a chav A-Z so you can understand them!
ASSA COMMONS - Our Parliament Building.
ART ATTACK - Extremely perturbed, as in "Don't tell Sharon. She'll have an art attack."
ARST - Past tense of ask. "Jordan, I must've arst ya free fazzund times to clear up yer room."
BANNSA - A person employed to deny access or eject troublemakers at a club. "Dave's got izself a job as a bannsa."
BANTY - A chocolate and coconut snack bar
BAVE - To wash oneself.
BOAF - The two. "Oi Dave, ooja fancy most, Sharon or Tracy?" "Boaf" is the reply.
BRANSATCH - Motor racing circuit in Kent.
CANCEL - Administrative body of a town. "Darren, wive ad annuvva letter from the cancel."
CANTAFIT - Fake, as in money.
CHOONA - An edible fish purchased in a tin and usually prepared with mayonnaise.
CORT A PANDA - A big hamburger (smaller than an arf panda)
DAN TO URF - Sensible, practical.
DANNING STREET - Where the Prime Minister lives.
DANSTEZ - On the ground floor , where the biggest telly is.
DREKKUN - Do you consider? as in "Which dog drekkun'll win the next race?"
EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty."
EJOG - A small, spiky animal.
ERZ - Belonging to her.
EVVY - A big geezer who protects a smaller and more intelligent geezer, usually for money. "My name's Frank and this is my evvy, Knuckles."
EYEBROW - Cultured, intellectual.
FANTIN - A jet of water for drinking or ornament.
FARVA - A posh way of saying Dad.
FATCHA - Margaret, British Prime Minister 1979 - 1990.
FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off wiv fingy last night."
FONG - Skimpy undergarment.
FOR CRYIN AT LAD - Mild expletive showing annoyance or surprise. "For cryin at lad, Britney, if I say Yes will you give it a rest?"
GAWON - Go on. "Gawon Darren, eat ya granny's cabbage, it'll do yer good."
GIVE IT LARGE - To be thorough or enthusiastic.
GRAND - A football stadium. "It all wennoff atside the pub near the grand."
HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I.
IBEEFA - The Spanish holiday island.
IFFY - Dubious. "Ere, Trace, I fink this bread pudding you made last munf's a bit iffy."
INT - Indirect suggestion. "I gave Darren a sort of int that it was time to wash iz feet."
IPS - An unknown area of a woman's body to which chocolate travels. "That Mars Bar will go straight to me ips."
JA - Do you, did you. "Ja like me new airdo, Sharon."
JACKS - Five Pound note. "Lend us a jacks, wilya?"
JAFTA - Is it really necessary? "Oi mate, jafta keep doing that?"
KAF - Eating house open during the day.
KAFFY - A girl's name.
LAD - Noisy. "Jordan, turn that music dan, it's too lad."
LARJ - Enjoying oneself.
LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal.
LOTREE - Costs £1 for a ticket.
MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park.
MAFFS - The study of numbers.
MANOR - Local area.
MINGER - An unattractive person (usually woman).
NARRA - Lacking breadth, with little margin. "Mum wannid to come rand but changed er mind. That was a narra escape."
NARTAMEAN - Do you know what I mean? (sometimes used as janartamean).
NEEVA - Not one nor the other.
NES - National Elf Service.
OAF - A solemn declaration of truth or committment.
OLLADAY - Time taken away from home for rest and adventure.
ONNIST - Fair and just, without a lie. "I never did it, onnist."
OPPIT - Go away, as in "Oi you, oppit."
PADDA PUFF - Soft, lacking aggression. "They're alright up front but they got a padda puff defence."
PACIFIC - Specific.
PAFFUL - Having much power or strength.
PAIPA - Sun, Mirror etc.
PANS AN ANNSIS - Imperial weight system.
PLAMMANS - A pub lunch usually made up of cheese and bread.
QUALIDEE - Good, as in "West 'Am's new striker's qualidee."
RAND - A number of drinks purchased for a group.
RANDEER - Locally. "There ain't much call for it randeer."
REBAND - Period of recovery after rejection by a lover. "I couldn't 'elp it. I was on the reband from Craig."
ROOFLESS - Without compassion.
SAFF - A direction of the compass, opposite north.
SAFFEND - An Essex seaside town.
SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved.
SEEVIN - Very angry. "I woz seevin when I urd wot 'e sed."
TALENT - Attractive members of the opposite sex. "Dave's gan dan tan to eye up the talent."
TAN ASS - A modern terraced house.
TOP EVVY - A woman of plentiful bosom. "Ere look at that, Darren, she's well top evvy."
UG - An unattractive person. "Sharon's new geezer's a bit of an ug."
UMP - Upset, as in Got the Ump.
VACHER - A document which can be exchanged for goods or services. "I got a vacher to get in cheap at Forp Park."
WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment."
WAWAZUT? - I beg your - A fight commenced as in "It all wennoff".
YAFTA - You must : "Even if yer guilty, yafta av mitigating circumstances."
YOOF OSTALL - A place where holidaymakers can stay the night.
All the best,
Mac
