Quote by Silk and Big G
Too many letters and words Dan mate , thats cheatin LOL.
I knew I would be terrible at this!
I couldn't think of any creative ways of doing it. Did you get it then?
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Minx_N_BigDanny
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 52
Bi-curious Female, 55
UK
Forum
Quote by AndyS-NE
Thanks very much to everyone who has replied.
Its my mistake i did not give the background why she backed out.
Some of them thought i am after just other woman and pointed i could very well pay for it.
Others say i am not sure.
The fact is me and my wife and loving happily married couple and enjoy.
It was my wife who read about swininging on net and over last 2 years we have been talking about it. I love her and we talk quite openly about these aspects.
After discussing, realised she was keen for a MMF threesome and i also liked it.
We posted advt here and got some very good responses. Spoke to a couple and other guy over phone. We invited other guy for a coffee too so that we can know more.
During this wife was chatting with her girl friend in general about swinging and her opinions. Her friend told her about the religious aspect etc. That became a reason my wife pulled out of this saying we can't go ahead. Since then it has left a deep desire in me to try swinging.
Thanks for all your advices and help.
No offence intended here but that sounds a bit weird to me, your wife just suddenly remembered that it was aginst her religous principles after a conversation with her friend?
This is the bit that you may find offence:
I'll live to regret this but I don't think you are a genuine swinger wanna be, think your story is made up and possibly a reporter. - just gut feeling, you're story doesn't hold up for me.
I'll apologise unreservedly if I am worng, just doesn't make sense.
Blimey, if he is a reporter, it must be for the News of the World. The spelling and English is atroshous, errrr..atrocius.......terrible!!
Actually, I think he should probably sit down and detail why his wife has changed her mind and try to let us know exactly what the conversation with her friend detailed and why exactly his wife has changed her mind.
If he really wants us to try and give him a helping hand with an opinion that is......
I am not entirely sure that he should be coming on here without his wife anyway. He said that she has been doing the research on the net, so I assume she has seen this site? If she is OK with looking, it wouldn't do her any harm to look here would it. Does she even know that you have asked us this question?
Perhaps she should post on the Forum asking of peoples religious views on swinging?
Matters of faith are shakeable, despite what some may think and it may be more religious guilt rather than a real religious belief.
Just a thought....
Quote by Mark
davej, firstly, best of british to you! :thumbup:
Secondly, there's a 'Flood Interval' of 15 seconds on this board (Number of seconds a user must wait between posts). Now, with 40 posts/page minus the 6 posts stickied atop, that makes it a theoretical minimum of 8 minutes and 15 seconds of pure and perfect posting. I'm not saying it can't be done... ummm ah, well, yes, I suppose I am saying that :lol2:
Oh bollocks :doh:
Hang on, perhaps all's not lost. This board gets on average (calculated to include day0 when it was way less busy) 560 posts/day. If we're being a little conservative we can say that The Cafe gets 186/day (of course that figure is much higher these days in reality). Now, if they are spread out evenly over the day (although evenings is busier) that's one post every 7 mins 45 seconds... which means that, ah.. ummm ... forget I said anything
Have I said GOOD LUCK yet? Go davej, go davej, go davej. Give me a D...
:giggle:
Facy upping the stakes a bit now Davej?
How about instead of just the pic as mentioned, we now increase that to a picture of you actually frying the "burger"? :twisted:
Hmmmm, not very good at chat up lines...
The best one I tried kinda backfired on me.
The plan was to find a good looking woman at the bar, go up to the bar, grab an ice-cube, place it on the bar and smash it with an ashtray. I would then turn to her and say "Now, that's broken the ice do you fancy coming outside with me".
What actually happened was that I got to the bar there was no ice. I then had to ask the barman for an ice cube whilst trying to keep eye contact with her. Then, there was no ashtray so I had to use my pint glass. Once I had the ice cube, I brought the glass down on it a bit too hard, smashing it in the process!
Something flew down her cleavage and we were not sure if it was Ice or Glass so i had to help her find it, which was actually great fun.
We ended up spending the night getting pissed together once we had stopped laughing.
It all turned out OK in the end, but I don't think i will try it again. :twisted:
The best one I tried kinda backfired on me.
The plan was to find a good looking woman at the bar, go up to the bar, grab an ice-cube, place it on the bar and smash it with an ashtray. I would then turn to her and say "Now, that's broken the ice do you fancy coming outside with me".
What actually happened was that I got to the bar there was no ice. I then had to ask the barman for an ice cube whilst trying to keep eye contact with her. Then, there was no ashtray so I had to use my pint glass. Once I had the ice cube, I brought the glass down on it a bit too hard, smashing it in the process!
Something flew down her cleavage and we were not sure if it was Ice or Glass so i had to help her find it, which was actually great fun.
We ended up spending the night getting pissed together once we had stopped laughing.
It all turned out OK in the end, but I don't think i will try it again. :twisted:
Good question, I am amazed at some of the names, especially those in the chat room who just put cum4slags or something like that.
However, there are some seriously imaginative people out there and some of the nicks are really funny. BiPaula makes me laugh, stickitincouple is good too. :P
I am sure that you could start a thread with this, what are the funniest nicks you have seen in the chat room/Forum!
I would do it myself but I really can't be arse to find out if it has been done before.
As for myself, well, I am very tall and have been called Big Danny all of my life (probably because my best mate was called Danny and was only 5'5" so he was, yep you guessed it, Little Danny).
However, I have also been called The Jolly Green Giant, Lanky fu**er and The BFG all of my life too so i could have gone for one of those I suppose.
i do actually regret choosing the nick, partly because on the rare occasions I get a pm or speak with someone in the chatroom, the first question is invariabley "so how big IS your dick then). I then have to explain that I am 6' 9", but that I only have a 1" penis. Very embarrasing. :twisted:
The other is because it may actually put people off, as you say, because they think you are up your own arse (I can hear eager_slut crying "if onlyI could get it to reach!!" :lol: ) and don't bother to ask the question.
Lastly because there are already 1298 people out there calling themselves BigDanny so I hardly feel unique!
I might actually try changing my nick to "1inchpenis" and see if I have any more luck.
However, there are some seriously imaginative people out there and some of the nicks are really funny. BiPaula makes me laugh, stickitincouple is good too. :P
I am sure that you could start a thread with this, what are the funniest nicks you have seen in the chat room/Forum!
I would do it myself but I really can't be arse to find out if it has been done before.
As for myself, well, I am very tall and have been called Big Danny all of my life (probably because my best mate was called Danny and was only 5'5" so he was, yep you guessed it, Little Danny).
However, I have also been called The Jolly Green Giant, Lanky fu**er and The BFG all of my life too so i could have gone for one of those I suppose.
i do actually regret choosing the nick, partly because on the rare occasions I get a pm or speak with someone in the chatroom, the first question is invariabley "so how big IS your dick then). I then have to explain that I am 6' 9", but that I only have a 1" penis. Very embarrasing. :twisted:
The other is because it may actually put people off, as you say, because they think you are up your own arse (I can hear eager_slut crying "if onlyI could get it to reach!!" :lol: ) and don't bother to ask the question.
Lastly because there are already 1298 people out there calling themselves BigDanny so I hardly feel unique!
I might actually try changing my nick to "1inchpenis" and see if I have any more luck.
I know its Summer when....
Oddly, There are suddenly nearly 10 times as many women around (guys, you know what I mean?)
The top of my nose starts peeling
I see Men wearing open toed shoes (why do they think people want to see their hairy toes, bruised and unkempt toenails and occasional toe-jam?)
My son tries to convince me that he can stay up until 10pm because "it is not dark yet"!
I notice that my right arm is darker than my left.
Oddly, There are suddenly nearly 10 times as many women around (guys, you know what I mean?)
The top of my nose starts peeling
I see Men wearing open toed shoes (why do they think people want to see their hairy toes, bruised and unkempt toenails and occasional toe-jam?)
My son tries to convince me that he can stay up until 10pm because "it is not dark yet"!
I notice that my right arm is darker than my left.
Nice one DaveJ!
As it goes, I already have a pic of my dick in a burger bun and surrounded by chips (don't ask, long story) so I am happy to offer my services on this one.
Besides, it can't be done mate. you didn't mention anything about the 5 guys not being able to post against you to totally f*ck you up! :boxing:
I have a little tip for you though (please excuse the pun), when you get around to taking the pic of your own dick in a burger...ketchup is OK, but avoid the mustard! Seriously. :embarrased:
Oh, and another thing. That kind of stunt will get you banned from McDonalds worldwide.
It's the strawberry milkshakes that I miss the most. :upset:
:thumbup:
Quote by davej
Hi Debbie, congratulations on your first anniversary (in 35 minutes time - and that clock is fast again!)
Mike.
dont piss around being nice to her mike you'll get booted ...........nip over to the nibbles table drop yer strides and do something unacceptable to the cake.
just a note ........if libra drops into this party and starts to choke on the nibbles, I ain't gonna practice the heimlick manouvre in case she shits on me clean shoes.
I wondered why that cake now has a cream filling. It didn't before!!
I am getting bored here at the door. Alright if I come in and get me feet wet? (I don't mean giving Libra+Love the heimlick btw) :twisted:
Probably every woman I fancied when I was a kid.
Michaela Strachan
Miss Popov from Rent-a-Ghost
Princess from Battle of the planets. FFS!
Laura from Little House on the prarie
Jane from Rod, Jane and Freddy (I know, bad innit) - "Rainbow"
Sarah Greene (I think it was Swap-Shop...or was it Tiswas?)
The girl in Airwolf
Glynnis Barber of Dempsey and Makepeace
The girl on HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy
Una Stubbs
Whenever I see those shows now , I think wtf!!!
Michaela Strachan
Miss Popov from Rent-a-Ghost
Princess from Battle of the planets. FFS!
Laura from Little House on the prarie
Jane from Rod, Jane and Freddy (I know, bad innit) - "Rainbow"
Sarah Greene (I think it was Swap-Shop...or was it Tiswas?)
The girl in Airwolf
Glynnis Barber of Dempsey and Makepeace
The girl on HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy
Una Stubbs
Whenever I see those shows now
, I think wtf!!! 1 – your most distinguishing feature
Hmmmmm, my height is the first thing that people generally notice, especially when I have just hit my head on a set of traffic lights!
2 – the favourite nickname you have ever been called
An ex used to call me "the orgasmatron". Now she calls me something different entirely. :P
3 – the last thing that made you laugh
My 2 year old boy, about 50 times a day!
4 – the last song you sang (way too loud)
Errrrm, should I admit this? "Stop" by Sam Brown
5 – the last thing that made you feel warm inside
The worlds response to the Tsunami disaster. At last, human beings caring about eachother!
6 – the last sex related item/s you bought
Actually, it was a tube of the KY Jelly "hot"
7 – one thing you want to do this summer
Go on this Limo ride (see below)
8 – what would be your last meal if you were on death-row
Chiken Tikka starter (Jalalabad, Mile End Road) followed by Lamb Madras (Spice of Life, Swindon) with a 5 litre of Haagen Daas Baileys Ice cream for afters.
Gonna throw up all over the electric chair I think....
9 – who would you want to share an eight-seater Jacuzzi with
OK, now were talking.
SunBunny, Libre+Love, Angel_chat, Lucie of Surreylovers, Lou of Bailiffs, Blonde and Kit :twisted:
10 – the worst job you have ever done
Working in the grocery department of Gateway's when i was a 16. Mainly for the white mesh hat I had to wear.
Hmmmmm, my height is the first thing that people generally notice, especially when I have just hit my head on a set of traffic lights!
2 – the favourite nickname you have ever been called
An ex used to call me "the orgasmatron". Now she calls me something different entirely. :P
3 – the last thing that made you laugh
My 2 year old boy, about 50 times a day!
4 – the last song you sang (way too loud)
Errrrm, should I admit this? "Stop" by Sam Brown
5 – the last thing that made you feel warm inside
The worlds response to the Tsunami disaster. At last, human beings caring about eachother!
6 – the last sex related item/s you bought
Actually, it was a tube of the KY Jelly "hot"
7 – one thing you want to do this summer
Go on this Limo ride (see below)
8 – what would be your last meal if you were on death-row
Chiken Tikka starter (Jalalabad, Mile End Road) followed by Lamb Madras (Spice of Life, Swindon) with a 5 litre of Haagen Daas Baileys Ice cream for afters.
Gonna throw up all over the electric chair I think....
9 – who would you want to share an eight-seater Jacuzzi with
OK, now were talking.
SunBunny, Libre+Love, Angel_chat, Lucie of Surreylovers, Lou of Bailiffs, Blonde and Kit :twisted:
10 – the worst job you have ever done
Working in the grocery department of Gateway's when i was a 16. Mainly for the white mesh hat I had to wear.
Personally, I have learnt that:
Spuff is what Marya calls Spunk (Or "oil of ugly")
"BBW" means Big beautiful woman
"LBW" means leg before Wicket (that could be a swingers phrase y'know)
and finally.......
WLTM means Would Like To Meet (I always thought it meant Well Long Trouser Muscle. Am gonna rephrase this in my Ad) :twisted:
Spuff is what Marya calls Spunk (Or "oil of ugly")
"BBW" means Big beautiful woman
"LBW" means leg before Wicket (that could be a swingers phrase y'know)
and finally.......
WLTM means Would Like To Meet (I always thought it meant Well Long Trouser Muscle. Am gonna rephrase this in my Ad) :twisted:
Hey Debs,
Congrats on your SH anniversary!
I am happy to act as the other bouncer, but do you mind if I charge an entrance fee? (likely to be a swig of the fella's drinks and a snog off the ladies) :twisted:
I can also bring along a very nice selection of wines, a large pair of hands and a bucket and mop for the clearing up.
:P
Congrats on your SH anniversary!
I am happy to act as the other bouncer, but do you mind if I charge an entrance fee? (likely to be a swig of the fella's drinks and a snog off the ladies) :twisted:
I can also bring along a very nice selection of wines, a large pair of hands and a bucket and mop for the clearing up.
:P
Quote by da69ve
Don't worry about it ......check ebay now and you will find that people are bidding up to £10,000,000 just to throw a spanner in the works for these greedy people!
Good on 'em. It is not right to make a profit from something like this. it is tantamount to stealing from the charity because it will be a sell out gig anyway. Someone else would have bought those tickets for the inflated price direct from the source! Perhaps Sir Bob should open an ebay account.....?
END WORLD POVERTY NOW!
Quote by zoukis
Hi Guys,
I received some silly comments about a post I made few days ago. I though this was Swingers Heavens and therefore it should be obvious why we have joined. I don't see the need to insulte the intelligence of the members by writing the story of my life. We are all differents and uniques. I also think that people should respect the wants and needs of others and refrain from making offencive comments when they are not interested in an add.
Zoukis
Timing is Everything
would you rather not say anything about yourself? You just want to post an ad, get hundreds of single woman/couples/guys (i haven't looked at your ad btw) and have mind blowing sex every single night would you?
Sounds good doesn't it. However, this is a community filled with real people, human beings who are able to process logical thought (not you Notts_Minx! lol) and have a choice of whom they choose to meet, chat, shag or flirt with. As the others have said, you need to show some personality to get people to want to bother speaking with you, or at least show some willing!
I havent seen your ad or the previous post that you mentioned, but knowing the people on here I am pretty sure that you did something to pee them off, like acting aggresive or shallow.
Be yourself, and if that is not enough, cut your losses.
Personally, I have just posted an ad after being on here for many months and I am now sitting here waiting to reply to the thousands of pm's I get....but if they don't arrive I would not see the need to post a thread telling everybody off!
Quote by Libra-Love
Do you still have keys to his flat?
If so, buy some water cress seeds and sprinkle them all over the carpets in his house. Soak the whole lot and when he comes back he will have about 2 inches all over the house.
This is an old gag, and not too destructive. However, it is just a distraction for the really nasty stuff.
Before you soak the place, stuff prawns or fish behind his rads with a stick. So far down that he will never be able to reach them. Then take a bottle of coke and pour a glass into the back of his DVD player, TV, stereo etc, but wipe the tops off so that they look like they have not been tampered.
Then pour milk into the cracks between his floorboards, the back of his curtains and under his kitchen cabinets, again cleaning up the side that you can see.
Take a pair of scissors and cut very small holes in his clothes. Under the arms, the crotch, places where he will not automatically notice them.
You could try the NZ speaking clock but they have a time-out so no harm done. However, dialling into a chatline, maybe one based in the US will prove a lot more costly and is a constant connection.
This should all take you an hour or so but will take him months to discover. It would be like poking him in the eye everyday for 6 months!
NB: I hope he owns the place and is not renting....... :shock:
:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: Oh Danny baby I'm coming to you next time I have the demon in me
:giggle:
Anytime Libra, someone pisses you off, you let me know! :lol:
Quote by adam ciara
Get over it.
Revenge is for losers, getting on with your life and making yourself happy is what people with brains do.
It sounds like a shit situation, but life is full of them, it's how we deal with crap not how we take out our frutrations, that defines us best.
I hope you feel better about it soon.
Isn't it strange how people all have different personalities. Some people need revenge as a kind of closure, some people would rather take the moral high am in the group who feel better after gaining some kind of revenge.
But then what do I know? I am just a loser without a brain apparently!
Stick it to him girl!!
A young bloke is walking through Belfast at night, when he feels a gun being pressed into the small of his back.
A voice from behind said "Which religion are you?"
Shitting himself and unsure what to say for the best, he pauses to think. Again, the big guy behind him asks "What religion are you?!"
Suddenly, he has a great idea.
"I am Jewish" he replies to his masked attacker.
"Fuck me" says his assailant. "I must be the luckiest Arab in Belfast!"
Now how on earth could that be offensive to anyone Ice-Pie?
(joke above courtesy of the ever politicaly correct Dave Allen, may he rest in peace. Actually he had a finger missing, does that mean he will rest in pieces?)
A voice from behind said "Which religion are you?"
Shitting himself and unsure what to say for the best, he pauses to think. Again, the big guy behind him asks "What religion are you?!"
Suddenly, he has a great idea.
"I am Jewish" he replies to his masked attacker.
"Fuck me" says his assailant. "I must be the luckiest Arab in Belfast!"
Now how on earth could that be offensive to anyone Ice-Pie?
(joke above courtesy of the ever politicaly correct Dave Allen, may he rest in peace. Actually he had a finger missing, does that mean he will rest in pieces?)
When you try to log in, look for the drop down box for "channel" and change it from Swinging Heaven to SH Help. That is a chat room to help users trying to get into the main room. SteveNW or one of the other guys 'n gals in there should be able to help.
PS you have to register for the chat room seperatley from say the Forum. Have you done this already?
PS you have to register for the chat room seperatley from say the Forum. Have you done this already?
