Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Minx_N_BigDanny
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 52
Bi-curious Female, 55
UK
Forum
Quote by Jas-Tim
young Sean Connery for sex-appeal. Any good ladies?:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
He didn't get sexy until he was past 45, you're ruining my imagine of you.
Stop it
:smackbottom:Jas
XXX
As Jas has kindly pointed out that Big Sean was only good looking once he got a little older, I have decided to change my choices.
Instead of Sean Connery, Hugh, Dolph and Johnny Depp, I am now going for Reese, Marmalade, Tim and Vix to make up the people to play me at various stages of my life.
Is that better Jas? :lol:
:lol: PS, the spanking only serves to make me hornier. :twisted:
Why don't you DIY?
I reckon it wouldn't take you long to round up a couple of burly blokes to lift it into place.
Just standing at your bedroom window with nothing on waving at any guys you see will soon have them knocking.
Once you have lured them in, find out which ones, if any, have experience with plumbing.
The best way to find out is to bend over to the now exposed pipes in your bathroom (still naked of course) and ask the gaggle of guys "does anyone know what size pipe fits in this hole?"
The one that tells you that a "3/4 inch copper pipe, welded with a bit of flux and horse hair should do the trick" is the one that you want.
Persuade him that if he fits the bath, you will give him the show of his life and I am sure he will obligingly fit the bath for you. Once the bath is fitted, sit him in front of the TV and put on the movie "Chicago". Promise repaid.
However, you now have a group of men in your bathroom that are of no use whatsoever. You must decide how best to make use of them and your spare time before the bath is fitted.
I suggest getting down and dirty, which will make the bath all the more pleasurable.
I reckon it wouldn't take you long to round up a couple of burly blokes to lift it into place.
Just standing at your bedroom window with nothing on waving at any guys you see will soon have them knocking.
Once you have lured them in, find out which ones, if any, have experience with plumbing.
The best way to find out is to bend over to the now exposed pipes in your bathroom (still naked of course) and ask the gaggle of guys "does anyone know what size pipe fits in this hole?"
The one that tells you that a "3/4 inch copper pipe, welded with a bit of flux and horse hair should do the trick" is the one that you want.
Persuade him that if he fits the bath, you will give him the show of his life and I am sure he will obligingly fit the bath for you. Once the bath is fitted, sit him in front of the TV and put on the movie "Chicago". Promise repaid.
However, you now have a group of men in your bathroom that are of no use whatsoever. You must decide how best to make use of them and your spare time before the bath is fitted.
I suggest getting down and dirty, which will make the bath all the more pleasurable.
Quote by freckledbird
Still thinking about this
School life: Bonnie Langford (think Violet Elizabeth in Just William)
Will you Scweam and scweam and scweam Freckle?
For me, as a kid I would say the spotty one who did judo, used to be in Grange Hill. Alan was it?
As an Adult, there are very few to choose from who are tall enough. Dolph Lundgren is the only one that comes to mind, but if it is personality it would be a mixture of Hugh Grant (for politeness), Johnny Depp for charisma and a young Sean Connery for sex-appeal. Any good ladies? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Quote by vodka_babe22uk
can i also add
a get well soon to big danny and rick 50 who where both involved in car accidents yesterday
a speedy get well lads and will see you at the next one
voddy xxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks Voddy, I am sooooooo sorry I missed out. It seems that everyone had a fantastic time! I am sure you and Steph had to work your butts off. I hope someone looked after you two too!
I WILL be at the next one. When is it by the way?
PS, Rick50....He's not an Indian guy who drives an old red Vectra is he?
Quote by SunBunny
Danny I was looking for you mate - wondered where you were and thought how hard can it be to spot a guy your sizeI won't make you jealous and tell you you missed a fantastic night. But let this be a lesson - next time tell the yanks you are far too busy and that munches come first.
Sorry about the crash - at least no one was hurt, which is the main thing.
See you next time maybe xx
Thanks honey, I was particularly annoyed to miss out on meeting you!
Believe me, if I had been there, you would have known about it! :twisted:
Maybe next time....or even sooner! :twisted:
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by Silk and Big G
I believe John West already sell a similar product .
ROTFLMAO!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: No, not quite what I had in mind! I am not sure if that was Slik or Big G that posted that one. If it was BigG, your not saying that Silk smells like tuna are you?
Mind that frying pan m8! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Personally I have never sniffed a used pair of knickers and got a hard on or anything, but I do love the smell of pussy (not cats). Especially when the lady is really worked up. :twisted:
I love the taste of pussy-juice too. I mean LOVE it.
I used to have the idea of starting up my own company that sold pussy-juice in a can but could never think of a name for it! :lol: :lol:
I love the taste of pussy-juice too. I mean LOVE it.
I used to have the idea of starting up my own company that sold pussy-juice in a can but could never think of a name for it!
:lol: :lol: Quote by Calista
62 here but I aint revealing my secrets :shock: :shock: :shock:
74 for me. Thank God for Calista. At least I am not the only one "up there" and I can plead the 5th as well. I do not consider myself a bad person though. Surely most of those things are just what happens in life? No?
Oh dear.
Although I have to say a big NO to 24 Got naked playing strip polka?
Surely you would need a string quartet for that, how embarrasing. Unless they were playing too?
:lol: :lol: Thanks for the nice messages guys. Yeah, you are probably right, now that the pain is wearing off a bit (excellent painkillers!) I am most pissed off about going to the Munch.
They would be back at the afters party round about now.....I am soooooooo jealous! :doh:
Thanks for the hugs and kisses ladies, I feel better already.
They would be back at the afters party round about now.....I am soooooooo jealous! :doh:
Thanks for the hugs and kisses ladies, I feel better already.
Quote by Katien_n_John
Hi Folks
We have some really bad news (for us anyway) after all the trouble certain people went to to get us in, we can’t make it. :upset:
Danny knows the details of our predicament and will give the appropriate people the details tonight.
We are really sorry guys :giveup:
PLEASE don’t let this lock us out of the next one, we are so keen to get to meet all you lovely people. :scared:
Oh dear, we really did let our smal part of Wiltshire down didnt we. I didn't make it either.
Voddy and Steph, I am so gutted and very sorry. PM's on their way but you can probably read it all in my thread on the cafe.
I hope you all are having an EXCELLENT time!
Katie xxxxx
:wave:
The plan:
Go to airport to pick up aunt and 2 cousins (boy 15, Girl 14) who had just arrived from the US. :welcome:
Drop them off to be with the relatives.
Drive straight to the Leicester Munch, which happens to be my first Munch and which I am looking forward to very much.
Drink several pints of cold lager
Mingle with all of the lovely SH'ers
Dance like a fool :crazy:
Try to gently convince the cute couple in the corner that they need a guy for the afters party. :bounce:
Enjoy myself immensly.
What actually happened:
Got to airport on time, had to wait for American relatives to pick up their bagagge.
Get on the road to drop them off, have to brake hard to avoid a crash in front of us.
Get hit from behind when the guy behind the guy behind me hit the guy behind me, who in turn hit me.
Check everyone is OK
Try to exchange details with an Indian man who has doesn't speak English and, I am pretty sure does not have insurance (stop laughing, you lot)
Wait for a hour for the tow truck to come and get us.
Spend another hour in the tow truck listening to the (typical) Yanks telling me that their roads are much safer, that their pick-up people would have provided a rental car, that their SUV would have survived a crash like that, that their blah, blah, blah. (I said stop laughing damnit!)
Get home and realise that my neck is starting to get very sore.
Spend the next hour and a half in the local (thank god) A&E waiting to be told that I have whiplash (which I already know!)
Sat here typing this thread, with a neck-brace on, no booze in the house, and knowing that everyone is having such a good time in Leicester.
(OK, laugh if you want. I might find it funny tomorrow)
What a sh*t day!
:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
I could really do with a cuddle.
Go to airport to pick up aunt and 2 cousins (boy 15, Girl 14) who had just arrived from the US. :welcome:
Drop them off to be with the relatives.
Drive straight to the Leicester Munch, which happens to be my first Munch and which I am looking forward to very much.
Drink several pints of cold lager
Mingle with all of the lovely SH'ers
Dance like a fool :crazy:
Try to gently convince the cute couple in the corner that they need a guy for the afters party. :bounce:
Enjoy myself immensly.
What actually happened:
Got to airport on time, had to wait for American relatives to pick up their bagagge.
Get on the road to drop them off, have to brake hard to avoid a crash in front of us.
Get hit from behind when the guy behind the guy behind me hit the guy behind me, who in turn hit me.
Check everyone is OK
Try to exchange details with an Indian man who has doesn't speak English and, I am pretty sure does not have insurance (stop laughing, you lot)
Wait for a hour for the tow truck to come and get us.
Spend another hour in the tow truck listening to the (typical) Yanks telling me that their roads are much safer, that their pick-up people would have provided a rental car, that their SUV would have survived a crash like that, that their blah, blah, blah. (I said stop laughing damnit!)
Get home and realise that my neck is starting to get very sore.
Spend the next hour and a half in the local (thank god) A&E waiting to be told that I have whiplash (which I already know!)
Sat here typing this thread, with a neck-brace on, no booze in the house, and knowing that everyone is having such a good time in Leicester.
(OK, laugh if you want. I might find it funny tomorrow)
What a sh*t day!
:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: I could really do with a cuddle.
Posh 'n Becks - ThickNeasyCpl
Rebecca Loos - PigWan**r
Stan Collymore - DigDogger
Jade Goody - MouthWideOpen
Thierry Henry - WhamBamVaVaVoom
Alex Fergusson - MUncher
Wesley Snipes - white_men_cant_jump_blk_men_can
Richard Branson - Virgin_lover
Johnny Vegas - Cuddly_with_GSOH
The Pope - Bishop_Basher
Rebecca Loos - PigWan**r
Stan Collymore - DigDogger
Jade Goody - MouthWideOpen
Thierry Henry - WhamBamVaVaVoom
Alex Fergusson - MUncher
Wesley Snipes - white_men_cant_jump_blk_men_can
Richard Branson - Virgin_lover
Johnny Vegas - Cuddly_with_GSOH
The Pope - Bishop_Basher
Quote by alspals
ROFLMAO :P 'Bum loving'.. BUM loving' - what the frig is bum loving? .. ah, that made me chuckle...
Bloke2005
me too ..you can almost imagine Barry White singing about it!!
:lol:Bum-Loving is a genuine word/phrase...I think.
Websters definition:
Bum-Loving,
Main Entry: 1bum-love
Pronunciation: bum-luv
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English bom
chiefly British, sometimes vulgar
Means: to "bum" someone or "Pack fudge in a crude manner".
Literal meaning: placing ones penis or strap-on into the hole betwix and between buttocks of another person, with the intention fo making love to said hole.
Told you!
"We wonder what the problem was? Did he think it was too good to be true and there must be a catch! or perhaps he thought we were going to mug him?
How often in a guy's life does such a thing happen? usually never!
I can imagine him telling his mates the next day and then saying he didn't do it! They'll never believe any of it!!
Or maybe, he's kicking hiself now!
Can anyone explain why, after being so keen, he would bottle it?
A friend of mine had almost exactly the same thing happen to him a year or so ago. When he told us that he got halfway there and then bottled it, we couldn't believe it.
He kept saying tha he thought he was going to "wake up in a bath tub of ice, with a kidney missing" or that the F was going to "tie him to the bed, then the door was going to burst open and a group of extremely well hung men would give him some bum-loving".
Suffice to say, he doesn't get much. :P
BTW Sheffieldfun4two, which bar is it that you hang out in....and what is the quickest way to get there from the M4?
Quote by Re-Lapse
color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color color.
It's my thread and I can write color anyway I want.:D :D :D
I am a little concerned at the Americanis(z)ation of our language and think it wise that we do not use words like color(where you miss out the U. Favorite and honor are another couple of examples), anything with a Z where it should be an S, swapping er and re around (theater(re), center(re) ect) or missing E's (Judg(E)ment, ag(E)ing etc)
Anyone caught using these Americanisations on this forum shoudl be sent to gaol!
Errrrrr.............What was the question again?
