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Mr_D_and_HotTart
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Male, 57
Bisexual Female, 62
0 miles · Hereford and Worcester

Forum

Interesting, I've seen this one several times, but this is the first one in which the guy got the girl!
More info on the history of this story is to be found at Snopes
runs a database of funny things that have been said in chatrooms all over the net.
Here are some of my favourites, for anyone out there in need of a laugh:
<Liquids> I am so sick of starting dates off with "are you a cop" and ending it with "do you take visa"
<Liquids> could be worse
<Liquids> they could start with "asl" and end with /ignore
<jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<jeebus> he was a fucken impostor
<jeebus> never once moved diagonally
<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andycode> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.
<AndrewLB_in_Chise> My mom saw me walking downstairs to the comp room with a box of kleenex and she just gave me this look. -.- I've never felt so dirty in my life...
<DemonEater> ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship
<DemonEater> who the hell watches jump rope competiti--- ooh bouncy
<Rabidplaybunny87>: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
<GarbageStan23>: why?
<Rabidplaybunny87>: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
<Rabidplaybunny87>: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
<GarbageStan23>: oh shit!
<Rabidplaybunny87>: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
<Rabidplaybunny87>: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
<Rabidplaybunny87>: talk about bad timing...
<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
<Pahalial> "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin
<kionix> wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up words, fuckface.
<alphageek> "are you currently alive? yes, no"
<Help747> X
<Help747> er
<Help747>...................X
<Help747>............................. X
<Help747>..............................................................X
<Help747>..........................................X
<alphageek> lol. this isn't pin the tail on the donkey
<Help747>.............................................. X......X
<Miyomei2>: I had my portable CD player, and took it in the bathroom with me while I went to pee.
<Miyomei2>: And the second I whipped my penis out, the theme song to 'Rocky' started playing.
<Miyomei2>: I've never felt more manly than in that moment.
<power> so are there really no people here who have the Avril Lavigne CD?
<power> dammit
<power> back to the old fashioned way of pirating
<bored> power, you're going to put on an eye patch and sail the seven seas?
Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?
<Lafarga> bada: I'm throwing peanuts at your head at this moment.
<bada> funny, I dont feel them
<Lafarga> bada: That's because you're thousands of miles away, across the internet, so my peanuts are bouncing off my monitor instead.
<Raven> I tried setting my password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. sad
<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit
<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?
<p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics
<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free
<+darthpony> geez dude
<+darthpony> with my last gf
<+darthpony> I made the most terrible fruedian slip
<+darthpony> we were sitting at breakfast the one day, and I wanted to ask her "pass the sugar please"
<+darthpony> instead I said "you're ruining my life, you fucking bitch"
<FreshBrew> IM DONT MATH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
<FreshBrew> HELL FUCKING YES
<kolby> you still in english?
<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?
<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops
<myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
<myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
<MasterG> .......................................................................................................
<judas> where's pacman when you need him?
<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes . :-/
<DigiGnome> Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
<DigiGnome> I need my socks.
<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping?
<Mike3285>: wtf is a palindrome
<MaroonSand>: no its not dude
<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.
<WiLdSeXyPrInCeSs> i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals???
<XeNoX> Still in the Garden Of Eden you gullible bitch.
<Dark_Fox> Kami: if you changed your name to Kame, you would have a much more interesting name smile
<Kami> Dark_Fox: And if you changed yours to Dark_Fax, you'd have a more communicative name. :)
* Dark_Fox is now known as Dark_Fax
<Kami> It'd be... 'telecommunicative.'
* Dark_Fax makes noises and bitches because he's out of paper ant toner *
<Kami> Oh god, that happened at work today.
<Dark_Fax> FEED MEE!!!
<SailorV> Nuuuuuuuu
* Dark_Fax displays wrong time *
* Dark_Fax rings for no reason *
* Kami is now known as VCR-clock
* Dark_Fax gets a paper jam *
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> PAPPPERRRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> TOOOOOONEEERRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<VCR-clock> :)
* Dark_Fax breaks a bearing and bounces around on the counter *
<Dark_Fax> FEEEED ERROORRR!!!! NEED PAPER!!
* Dark_Fax rings again for no reason *
* VCR-clock blinks some more
* SailorV runs and hides becuz there are weirdo's in here
* Dark_Fax chases SailorV * MY PAPER!!! MY PREEESCIOUUUS!!
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<SailorV> EEEE!
* SailorV unplugs the VCR
* VCR-clock has quit IRC
* Dark_Fax is now known as Dark_Fox
<Dark_Fox> ok i think ive peaked the humor of that
<aryov> This cake is soooo good
<aryov> it's like sex, except I'm having it
<Alcaron> You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. :)
<Longi> Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
<Longi> err?
<Longi> THING
<Longi> someTHING!
<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?
and finally...
<turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
<Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on
<turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
<Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
<turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
<Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.
<Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on
<opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
<Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
<opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
<turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
<Seeker> I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
<turno> *phew* spose you have a point
Quote by lil_miz_naughty_0204
Oh, aww that is great, i love this one. I found a good one the other day with a cat, somebody gave it a fright and it jump off th bed and slammed into a wall

as a cat owner, I found this one a bit paunful to watch, but if anyone is intruiged by that description, this is the cat jumping into a wall
DO NOT FOLLOW THIS LINK IF YOU ARE AT WORK!
Reminds me of the top 10 cutest kittens .
DO NOT FOLLOW THIS LINK IF YOU ARE AT WORK!
Nawa shibari is (to sum it up in a few words) the japanese art of rope bondage.
In the same way that they took crumpling up a bit of paper and made it into a beautiful and tranquil art form (origami), they took tying your partner up and made it into a beautiful and tranquil artform (nawa shibari).
Actually having sex with someone tied up in this way would be as crass as throwing away 'crumpled up paper' folded by an origami master.
414
(but I will admit I'm crap at nawa shibari and usually end up cutting off the blood supply to various bits redface )
It's a little known fact that West Bromwich Albion once used a chocolate substitute in a League cup match in April 1946.
Unfortunately this was one of the first floodlit matches after the wartime blackouts and the heat from the lights caused it to melt into a puddle just outside the opposition's penalty area.
Quote by juliett49
They are going to stop making king size Mars Bars???? What is the world coming to?
rolleyes

Where did they find such a small king?
Hmm. We need a name for this activity:
Cars, 4 wheels :dogs, 4 legs... biggrinogging
Trains, loads of wheels: Centipedes, loads of legs... :Centipeding!
or not?
Thanks to everyone who participated in what was (apart from the occasional deep fried bollock) a well reasoned and grown up debate about a controvertial issue, but more importantly thanks to the people behind the scenes who have stayed true to their word and taken a hard, but well justified decision to drop the idea after seeing how the trial period went.
Planning, implementing, adminstering and (to a lesser extent!) defending the idea in the forum must have invovled a lot of hard work, by volunteers who (I'm sure) genuinely believed the idea was a good one that would be of benefit to SH.
Seeing all that work go to waste must have hurt a fair bit, so I'd like to say not only Thanks for doing all that work for us, but also Thanks for admitting to a graceful defeat, and backing down when it was clear that the majority of people didn't want the scheme.
Theres nothing wrong with teenage fumbling (legal age and over only, of course). If this is somene young, then full credit to them for trying to get better at it!
Quote by Jags
TWADDLE!!

Quote by little gem
What a load of Bollox!

Quote by Jags
More twaddle.

Quote by Bluexxx
Utter nonsense!

I'm finally surrounded by gorgeous sexy women... and what happens? I'm winding them up by discussing this topic.
So much for me fighting the admin's battles on this one, I'm out of this thread from now on.
Quote by Calista
to treat regular chatters the same as a newbie and "dumb" them down is frankly insulting.

That seem to be an argument for the + not against it!
Quote by little gem
What a load of Bollox!
How insulting for the newbies........ how would you feel coming to an adult site where a group of established people treated you like morons! The gen ones will read the rules and follwo them to the best of their abilty regardless of little symbols/ labels beside their name!
Give people credit for having some of the intelligence they were born with please!

Hang on a moment. I'm only reporting what I see in the chatroom. Im my experience, the likelyhood of reporting a pvt is based on how experienced people are in the channel rather than how 'genuine' they are.
'Gen ones' as you put it are probably quite intimidated at first, and I'm giving them the credit to assume they won't want the first line they say after hello to be an accusation against somene who (for all they know) might be a highly respected elder member of the site.
I know it took me a while to get used to naming and shaming when I arrived, partly because it's human nature to be nice to people unless you are sure they deserve what's coming to them.
Quote by bluexxx
Where is your evidence to suggest that +ed people are more likely to report uninvited pvts? I've had a few myself and I have named and shamed, each time the ops warn them and all is sorted. Come on, let's stick to valid arguements shall we! rolleyes

1) Newbies tend not to know/folow follow the rules, or be confident enough to name and shame.
2) none of the + people are newbies
Therefore
3) non + people are more likely not to report an unwanted pvt.
Quote by Calista
Hang on ... I'm unverified and whenever I've been in the chatroom and had unwelcome pm's I've named them (after asking the individual politely to be left alone), when I have it's always been dealt with promptly .... your logic above doesn't quite follow.:

That's why I used the words "more likely" in my post rather than something more definite- I'd expect all of the + people and only some of the non+ people to behave like this.
Quote by Calista
The idea of the verification system was to cut down on unwanted pm's ...

actually, that was more of a byproduct of the verification system, as I understand it, the stated aim was so newbies could tell that we had genuine people, and who some of them were.
Quote by Calista
now you're saying that if you have a +V you're likely to get more unwanted pm's ........
Have I missed something????????

Yes, the total number of unwanted PMs will go down, so while + people will get a higher percentage of them, you'll actually get less numerically.
Quote by Sgt Bilko
And.................. dunno

Just a statement of fact, if anyone wants to draw conclusions from it, that's up to them!
Reminds me of one of my favourite chat-room quotes from bash:
<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
Quote by Jags
Not being a chatroom user I don't care if I have a +, a gold star, a silver stocking or a metal plate... but it all looks a tad fishy. And Blue's right - there are a lot of room ops coming into the forum and making waves, and not the Mexican type ones either.

Conversely, there are a lot of forum people coming into the chatroom under assumed names to see how newbies are treated there!
Quote by bluexxx
So... you're saying that people with a + will be pestered for meets? When several people feared that this would happen we were poo-pooed by the supporters of this system. Thank you for at least clarifying Mr D! cool

Yes, but the implication of that is that unwanted pvt-ers will be dealt with more quickly, since the + people are far more aware of (and keen to use) the 'name and shame' system. This will mean that while the + people get a larger share of the unwanted pvts, the total number of unwanted pvts will decrease.
Quote by Dave__Notts
Totally agree with you about the explanation. But the quote you used was taken from an above quote that said that if you weren't an active swinger then you shouldn't be in the chat room. If you re-read the part of the thread that started with TJ you will see what was asked.
The explanation you gave was what I believed the chatroom was for. However, this seems to have changed. If it hasn't, then somebody should clarify what it is.

Thanks. I'm not the right person to the answer to TJ's question, which is why I replied to that specific quote.
I'm going to open a can of worms here, but I hope it will close itself... One solution to the newbie issue would be splitting the chatroom in two, in the same way that 'the cafe' and 'let's meet up' are split. However, even if the technical problems involved in multi-channel java chat were solved, and the extra op work was taken on by suitable volunteers, the 'let's meet up' room would be doomed to failure, since so little actual meeting up goes on in the current channel that no-one would stay there very long. This means that there has to be some sort of balance between cafe and meet-up style chat going on in the current single channel, which I feel isn't a problem given the gentle way the ops are enforcing that particular rule.
Quote by bluexxx
Satin says he would help organising a lesbian orgy at some point during the night

Shouldn't take much organising, all you need is this!
Quote by xxdevil69
So I take it that those that have been genuine swingers, but no longer swing and still enjoy the social side, are not welcome in the chatroom.

No, you are jumping to conclusions there.
If the system works as it is intended, then you'll actually be better off, since you won't have a +, new people should not pester you for meets, and you can get on with chatting to your friends.
The chatroom does have a rule that says "Keep on topic. This is an adult chat room where people come to talk about swinging, dogging and activities of a sexual nature. If you wish to discuss the latest episode of "Bore the Nation Street" or "Bellenders" or even the best exhaust to fit to a 1997 Nova then either take it into a private conversation or find a more suitable chat room. This does not mean of course that we do not encourage general chat in the room - we just prefer it not to be dominated by chat from other interest areas." but that has been in place for ages, and I've only seen it invoked very rarely and gently by the ops when a few people are taking up most of the chat discussing something that everyone else is unlikley to beinterested in.
Quote by Silk and Big G
so much fun watching the pizza delivery boys face when Silky pays for it .

If you get your pizzas delivered by a guy in overalls with a moustache and hairy chest, then I think you could have a career in the movies!
Hmmm some tough ones here... offthe top of my head:
Summer in the city when the air is chill - erm, Deacon Blue?
Hot dog, jumping frog, Albuquerque - Prefab Sprout "The King of Rock 'n' Roll"
Look these eyes are just holograms look your love has drawn red from my hands - Tanita Tikaram "Twist in my Sobriety"
You know the rules and so do I - Rick Astley "Never gonna give you up"
The room is lit red danger - Depeche Mode "New Life"