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SteveClarke
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 53
0 miles · Surrey
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
The last flavour ice-cream you tasted.
Hmm - was Ben and Jerries I bought my sis 'cos she'd split with her fella...damn, what was it?? Well, very chocolatey and yummy and bad for you anyway.
The first alcoholic drink you got pissed on (and can you still drink it now)?
Proper pissed to the point of being ill? Southern Comfort...and sadly I can no longer drink it (JD man now).
Favourite thing to say during sex?
Cameron, Lucy, Drew....there's plenty for everyone, don't fight...
Favourite thing to hear during sex?
Do you mind if my friend joins us?
The last gift you bought for a friend?
Flowers.
Favourite thing to cook on a bbq?
Corn on the cob
The colour of your eyes?
Lose yourself brown;)
What is your ringtone?
Porky Pig reminding me to pick up
Something you always take away on holiday with you?
A guitar
The housework task you most hate doing?
"Sorting". I don't mind cleaning, hoovering, whatever, but going through boxes of stuff just seems to take me a lifetime.
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Quote by winchwench

What, like this? Or did you have something a little more close up in mind.......like wrapped around your neck? :twisted:

.... :shock: :twisted: :rascal:
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Quote by Sassy-Seren
All those creepy crawlies, spiders and nasties?? :shock: That'd be enough to put me off going :scared:

Despite being raised in Africa, I am/was the biggest spider wuss in the world. Spend a little time living in Oz and it becomes absolutely fine. Almost all of them stay away from you and you have to be pretty unlucky and careless to be seriously hurt.
On the spider front, the two most deadly actually reside in Sydney (Sydney funnel web and red-back). The red-back is everywhere, I've actually slept on a family of them (accidentally) and they didn't bother me at all.
The only aggresive spider there (and that's only really when it feels threatened) is the Huntsman, which while possesing a painful bite, is not particularly venemous.
Other nasties are rarely really "nasty". Crocs are, undoubtably, especially in north Queensland, but again, if you are sensible, you're in just about no danger at all.
For a long time I wasn't fussed about Oz largely because of the insect life - having lived there now, I'm very glad that I managed to get past that!
smile
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Hmmm - I think that the mods here should perhaps listen to the users of the site a little more - the level of disrespect is on occassion quite staggering.
It's not an old "adage" Mal, it's an ever present and very evident fact. I've noticed it, as have many others given the number of threads on the issue recently. It does look bad, as does the discourtesy of your response.
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Meal: Dal/Dal soup (easily pleased)
Album: Very tough. Either Fiona Apple ...Tidal, or the ubiquitous Dark Side of the Moon
Drink: Aaargh. Have to be fresh water actually
Book: A book of matches, so I could build fires easily and keep warm.
TV program: None thanks.
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Quote by Mister_Discreet
but unless you ARE one of the biggest companies in the world, they are probably out of your budget range. .

I'm not going to argue beyond this post, enough work in SH - it brings a bad smell.
But....
Pricing for many agencies is worked out by average value per customer (or lead, or sign-up, or whatever). Good agencies (or individuals) will always make proposals that effectively leave the customer in profit for their outlay.
Re-itterating the point. Done correctly, you MAKE money by using an SEO/SEM agency, not spend it.
As to FTSE companies not using agencies, I can't discuss my clients, or those of people I've worked with, and have little interest in proving anything to you. But feel free to do the research and you'll find some fairly high profile media stories about this very issue, in particular mismanagement of accounts and requirement of people with real experience.
...now, about H's bum....
:twisted:
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Quote by Mister_Discreet
Avoid search engine optimisation companies,

...just like most FTSE companies do? rolleyes
Poor advice Mister_Discreet, which is a shame because the rest (particularly the phrase targetting) is spot on.
There are a lot of cowboys out there, but there are also a handful of respected SEO agencies servicing some of the biggest companies in the world.
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
I've just received my first (not particularly funny) joke email circular about this..it's amazing how quickly things happen with this interweb thing :sad:
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Quote by Kiss
watching Steve and Kiss, all i can hear in my head is duelling banjos

lol
Not at all - just showing that I'm not a dumb blonde and my first post was a "I do know some bits 'n' bobs if you care to PM me" and that I actually do know some stuff.
Wasn't suggesting it for a second kiss
It was just the meta-tag thing really I was responding to (as they're now useless in Google, and MSN...and who else is there, really? ;) ).
The other advice Kiss just gave is also very worthwhile Sarah, but to go into all the ins and outs we'd all be here for weeks!
Simple way of helping, check out and (the forums there are excellent for this sort of help).
...for a geeky afternoon, wade through .
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
For PPC:
This are is often referred to as SEM (search engine marketing)


Those are the two main players at the moment. with Adwords by far outperforming Overture (now ) in most markets I've worked. It is worth having someone who knows what they're doing look after it for you to ensure best results.
Translating what I said, a potted version of current SEO (search engine optimisation) theory:
Inbound links= links from other sites to your site.
Outbound links=links from your site to another.
Keyword density and weighting = a pseudo science in which you measure the value of a certain word or phrase based on what percentage (density) of the text in question it occupies and it's weight, which involves many factors, including (but not limited to), what piece of code it sits within semantically (eg <h1> for 1st level header, <p> for paragraph etc), where in the page text it appears, as well as how far down the actual page code it appears.
Basically, to improve your level of calls you need to decide/establish which phrases/words are going to provide the best ROI (return on investment), start a decent PPC campaign (you decide a capped budget), and then work on your organic listing (that which occurs naturally without you paying for it).
Usually (but not always) your organic campaign will target the same/similar phrases to your paid campaign. You re-work your phrases into your sites copy (keeping it natural), and try to ensure that as many people as possible link to you, preferably using your target phrase (or one of them) as the linking text.
This area is enormous and cannot be answered quickly unfortunately, but I hope that helps a little smile
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
smackbottom
...shame, it was actually a coded invitation to come on an all expenses paid around the world cruise... sad
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Not true (sorry kiss).
Meta tags have not been a consideration of the major search engines for some years now. Keyword density is only a small factor for high ranking, valuable inbound links with appropriate terms essentially determine high ranking these days (along with age of site and level of "trust"). Some inbound links (eg some of those directories) can actually detract from the percieved value of a page.
PPC (pay per click) campaigns can and do achieve really good results.
Been (one of) my profession(s) for about 8 years now, feel free to PM any questions.
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Quote by Jags
I know that Ansett has stopped trading (it was also the domestic air carrier) but there may be something similar set up by now.

These days it would be or Greyhound! They recently took over the only other real competitor, McCaffertys.
I'll be in Thailand for Christmas Sarah - you there too?
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Hmmm quick advice.
Don't stay in Sydney the whole time whatever you do, it wont even give you a hint of a taste of "Australia", merely a taste of Sydney (which is nice enough, but there is sooo much more to enjoy!).
If you do spend some time in Sydney, avoid Bondi and head over to Manly - much nicer neck of the woods and imho better beach(/s). I reckon you'd be a "Shelly Beach" fan, but that's just a guess.
DO get up to Queensland. It is simply breathtakingly beautiful. I spent a while working in a place called "Cape Tribulation" which is somewhere that should be on everyone's itinerary if you ask me - two world heritage sites merge, the Great Barrier Reef and ancient rainforest. The place actually has its own little microclimate going on - I've never seen something that looks quite so much like a brewing pot of life.
It's also well worth visiting Fraser Island. Touristy, yes, but for a reason. Lake McKenzie is one of themost sublime things I have ever witnessed. Fresh water lake in the middle of a sand island (with a 75 mile beach "highway"), absolutely crystal clear and so clean you can happily drink from it. People harp on about Whitehaven beach and the Whit Sundays, which are impressive, but to my mind do not compare.
There are plenty of "tours" of the east coast available, I'd consider getting yourself one, and simply hanging around in places you like. Not culturally staggering, or amazing nature wise, but I have a feeling you'd quite enjoy Byron Bay wink
Wouldn't bother with Brisbane/Bundi/Surfers, but again that's personal choice. If you can get over to 1770, off the tourist track (they've only had a road for a couple of years) and a lovely little community.
I didn't see it, but WA is supposed to be amazing. I think you'd really need decent trasport to do that though....planning on doing it on an Enfield one day smile
...that wasn't that "quick" as far as advice goes was it?!
Rather sad news, Steve Irwin (the "crocodile hunter" ) died today sad. His "Australia Zoo" is well worth a visit, if you can bear the posters (which will probably change now anyway). What they've achieved there is quite awesome.
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Is it safe to come in yet?
I've just got back from a very different (but equally enjoyable) party... I'll just sit in the corner and sulk now... sad
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Quote by Kiss
I didn't change my name, I just chopped a bit off!
cool

Ouch, would ya like some ointment?
:uhoh:
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Want to send the boys round?
:kick:
Sounds like the bloke is a dick. If you've requested that people don't whisper, and they do, then go right ahead and reprint their whispers - you wouldn't be able to if they didn't initiate it, so I'd say you're well within your rights and doing the right thing...
H-x whispers: Yum Steve, you're lovely, when can I jump in my van and whisk you away for a dirty week in the south of France?
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
My eye may wander and my head may stroll, but my heart remains steadfastly true to its initial flutterings...the best bum has my vote biggrin
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Quote by H-x


I definitely need a photographer.
H.x

...you recommend the SA hotel, I'll recommend the aperture speed and lighting conditions... biggrin
:inlove: innocent
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Weird Al Yankovich and a King Charles Spaniel

...there's a difference? dunno
..that sort of look is Rock Godliness now though, he should give it another shot!
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Quote by meat2pleaseu
and dead (i believe)

...nope, Buckley is dead ('nother one with a penchant for early exits in the same vein as Janice Joplin), Jeff (Healey) is still alive and well and running a .
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SteveClarke
Sexpert
Quote by westerross
As a fairly frustrated (and frustrating rolleyes ) guitarist I've got to say that is very original and mindblowingly skilful.
Who was it played guitar lapwise - Jeff Buckley?? Nothing like that though.
.

Dya mean Jeff Healey? (who's also blind...)
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