Quote by PoloLady
I now know where I am going wrong! I keep going to the drive-through
Your a McDonalds girl, where I'm more Waitrose...
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SunBunny
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 52
Forum
I have come to think of Swinging Heaven as a dinner party.
We spend hours, or days, preparing the food. The foreplay we have while seducing each other on MSN or flirting in the forum is like the preparation of a good meal, and you never know how it will turn out. Too many eggs can flop the soufflé and under-tenderised steak can cause disappointment and bits in the teeth.
There are many aspects to consider and we aim to make sure the end result satisfies all parties.
Lets Meet Up is like a trip to the supermarket - see what bargains are on offer and if we can get any 2-for-1 offers. There is something for everyone, and not all of it good for you. Some take a list - know exactly what they are looking for- others like to spend a while browsing, squeezing the odd melon, checking cucumbers for firmness.
You never know if that pizza is gonna taste as good as it looks - even though you have bought it because it appeals to you. And there are bad apples in every trolley - but experienced shoppers can spot them before getting as far as taking a bite.
Doggers are like smokers who hang out more in bathrooms or in the garden. They have a dirty habit and are excluded in public places. A dogger is like the old geezer that gropes you in the hall, or the exhibitionist who dirty dances with himself naked on the table in the middle of cheese and biscuits. (No offence please doggers - or smokers - it’s just an analogy )
We meet all sorts of people in the Café - extrovert minglers with good social skills; shy wallflowers who speak little, and quietly; young boys who don’t know how to behave amongst adults, who cant hold their drink and get leary.
‘You will always find me in the kitchen at parties’…..Yeah, like GFZ. Some are too intimidated to venture in and go mingle elsewhere.
If a guest insults the cook he gets attacked by other diners, and poor taste jokes bring icy glares. No dessert for you mister. We may even throw you out in the cold. Carry on without you.
There are little groups of people all over the room, some huddled and gossiping, laughing out loud at private jokes; some having a serious discussion and getting pissed off because a guy that no one has seen before is being prattish and trying to be funny; some playing filthy word games, slamming tequilas and stripping off when they lose. There are domestic discussions and football talk for those that are interested. All are absorbing the sexual atmosphere that lays heavy in the room, and innuendo is rife. It gets worse as the evening goes on.
The hosts (the Mods) get involved and say hello to everyone but are also constantly watching the guests, concerned that the house is respected and that people are happy. They frown upon bad manners and shouting, and regularly clear out the toilets, make sure there is plenty of bog roll and soap, no lurkers in macs. They make you feel welcome everywhere and you kinda know you will not go home hungry.
The meal itself , with everyone sat down, is like SH’s thriving party scene, where we have our fill of food and wine - and where we don’t know what will be given to us. The food may not be to everyone’s taste - some will restrain and eat nothing, others will have a nibble, others will have a bite of everyone else’s, others will feast until they are sated and in need of a good sleep. There will be veggies, pure meat-eaters, others who prefer fish and others who just want junk, not caring to look at the package, just ramming it in.
Anyway. Happy eating everyone. What's for dessert?
We spend hours, or days, preparing the food. The foreplay we have while seducing each other on MSN or flirting in the forum is like the preparation of a good meal, and you never know how it will turn out. Too many eggs can flop the soufflé and under-tenderised steak can cause disappointment and bits in the teeth.
There are many aspects to consider and we aim to make sure the end result satisfies all parties.
Lets Meet Up is like a trip to the supermarket - see what bargains are on offer and if we can get any 2-for-1 offers. There is something for everyone, and not all of it good for you.
Some take a list - know exactly what they are looking for- others like to spend a while browsing, squeezing the odd melon, checking cucumbers for firmness. You never know if that pizza is gonna taste as good as it looks - even though you have bought it because it appeals to you. And there are bad apples in every trolley - but experienced shoppers can spot them before getting as far as taking a bite.
Doggers are like smokers who hang out more in bathrooms or in the garden. They have a dirty habit and are excluded in public places. A dogger is like the old geezer that gropes you in the hall, or the exhibitionist who dirty dances with himself naked on the table in the middle of cheese and biscuits. (No offence please doggers - or smokers - it’s just an analogy
)We meet all sorts of people in the Café - extrovert minglers with good social skills; shy wallflowers who speak little, and quietly; young boys who don’t know how to behave amongst adults, who cant hold their drink and get leary.
‘You will always find me in the kitchen at parties’…..Yeah, like GFZ. Some are too intimidated to venture in and go mingle elsewhere.
If a guest insults the cook he gets attacked by other diners, and poor taste jokes bring icy glares. No dessert for you mister. We may even throw you out in the cold. Carry on without you.
There are little groups of people all over the room, some huddled and gossiping, laughing out loud at private jokes; some having a serious discussion and getting pissed off because a guy that no one has seen before is being prattish and trying to be funny; some playing filthy word games, slamming tequilas and stripping off when they lose. There are domestic discussions and football talk for those that are interested. All are absorbing the sexual atmosphere that lays heavy in the room, and innuendo is rife. It gets worse as the evening goes on.
The hosts (the Mods) get involved and say hello to everyone but are also constantly watching the guests, concerned that the house is respected and that people are happy. They frown upon bad manners and shouting, and regularly clear out the toilets, make sure there is plenty of bog roll and soap, no lurkers in macs. They make you feel welcome everywhere and you kinda know you will not go home hungry.
The meal itself , with everyone sat down, is like SH’s thriving party scene, where we have our fill of food and wine - and where we don’t know what will be given to us. The food may not be to everyone’s taste - some will restrain and eat nothing, others will have a nibble, others will have a bite of everyone else’s, others will feast until they are sated and in need of a good sleep. There will be veggies, pure meat-eaters, others who prefer fish and others who just want junk, not caring to look at the package, just ramming it in.
Anyway. Happy eating everyone. What's for dessert?
Quote by deancannock
sunbunny...
could I use that for detal floss after you finished with it ?
Should I wash it first?
Do you ever visit the midlands so that I could maybe have a floss whilst you still wearing it ??
Why would I go up north if you are coming down south ?
Don't you think detal hygene is very important !!!!
Definitely. Can't beat a big white smile. Know any good mouthwashes?
Quote by jameswestlondon
Any suggestions for a horny fucker who needs to cum today?
What about a trip to your local? Surely you could pull a tasty bit of totty and take her home...you do live alone after all....just an idea....
Most girls on here ( I think) need a bit more conversation, flirting, seduction etc, before crossing London for a shag. I wonder how many guys actually get successful meets from 'I Need A Fuck Tonight' type posts.
Just a thought. No offence intended.
:cry:Quote by Sgt Bilko
I think this just proves the worth of attending Munches, especially for Newbies, in order to meet people in a non-pressurised enviroment.
Absolutely. I think munches make all the difference - they make me feel much more a part of the SH community, and a lot safer, because I have met a lot of people who I can turn to for advice and support.
I met one - he isn't on the site anymore but it taught me to be less hasty to meet people who try so hard to 'be friends'.
He painted a very different picture of himself in rambling PMs and lots of phonecalls - I should have read the signs but was fairly new to SH and thought he was being honest.
As soon as I met him, in a London pub, I knew I had made a mistake and could not wait to leave.
He made me feel extremely uncomfortable, something I rarely feel because I generally see something good in most people. I realised his intentions were in no way honourable, having told me for weeks before that our meet would be a purely platonic one, and that there would be no pressure. He was a lot older and so I had said it was unlikely I would be interested in sex - we were meeting as 'friends'.
The pressure was so great that my skin was crawling.
I remember getting the train home wrapped up foetal-like in my big coat, grateful of its comforting warmth. Not a good meet.
It has taught me to be wary of strangers until I get to see for real who they are, and what they are about.
He painted a very different picture of himself in rambling PMs and lots of phonecalls - I should have read the signs but was fairly new to SH and thought he was being honest.
As soon as I met him, in a London pub, I knew I had made a mistake and could not wait to leave.
He made me feel extremely uncomfortable, something I rarely feel because I generally see something good in most people. I realised his intentions were in no way honourable, having told me for weeks before that our meet would be a purely platonic one, and that there would be no pressure. He was a lot older and so I had said it was unlikely I would be interested in sex - we were meeting as 'friends'.
The pressure was so great that my skin was crawling.
I remember getting the train home wrapped up foetal-like in my big coat, grateful of its comforting warmth. Not a good meet.
It has taught me to be wary of strangers until I get to see for real who they are, and what they are about.
Quote by Mr Writer
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Unbelievable. How will these girls ever be satisfied after that? What are they doing to themselves? There are better ways to make money. That was quite disgusting.
I feel quite 'normal' now.
Even the girls further down with the giants up their fannies are obviously not thinking about the consequences of such an intrusion. I feel sorry for them. I personally think Peter Kay is a brilliant man, and would recommend seeing everything he has done. I've seen him live, and laughed my head off from beginning to end. I didn't want him to ever leave the stage.
Phoenix Nights , in my opinion, is one of the funniest sitcoms ever......both series.
He also did some stuff before that - each week he played a different character, like Mr Whippy, who gets involved in the ice cream wars with a certain unsavoury Mr Softy...or there's Mark Park, the big-nosed pop star who cant sing ....
I think it was called That Peter Kay Thing.
Huge fan here. You should watch it all.
Phoenix Nights , in my opinion, is one of the funniest sitcoms ever......both series.
He also did some stuff before that - each week he played a different character, like Mr Whippy, who gets involved in the ice cream wars with a certain unsavoury Mr Softy...or there's Mark Park, the big-nosed pop star who cant sing ....
I think it was called That Peter Kay Thing.
Huge fan here. You should watch it all.
Quote by PoloLady
SunBunny....
Where is the strangest place you have ever given a person a love-bite?
In a phonebox
Did you enjoy biting them?
Yes of course. There was a hand up my skirt at the time and I was smiling, which makes my mouth bigger - so could get more in
Will you be doing it again?
I will be doing it for as long as I have my own teeth
Sarge what a brilliant post. I admired you before but now I just :inlove: love ya.
I'd PM you but don't want you wetting your pants in over-excitement. Anyway what would I say? Someone of your experience will have heard it all before....but panic not, I voted for you in the PM of the Week. I'm hoping you will recieve so many PMs you will need a secretary (ME! ME! ME!)...................... :notes: :happy: and I can type very fast, one-handed even...........
I'd PM you but don't want you wetting your pants in over-excitement. Anyway what would I say? Someone of your experience will have heard it all before....but panic not, I voted for you in the PM of the Week.
I'm hoping you will recieve so many PMs you will need a secretary (ME! ME! ME!)...................... :notes: :happy: and I can type very fast, one-handed even........... Quote by PoloLady
We should start a 'tit training camp' for delinquent boobs. Mine have been out every night, never phone to say where they are, sometimes they don't come back for days on end. I think we need to be cruel to be kind - tough love as they say!
Try getting them severely nibbled and sucked and bitten and sucked again by a sharp-toothed disciplinarian. They will be so busy moaning at the pain, they will be unable to roam. In fact, they won't want to.
Works for me. They never leave. I try pushing them out sometimes but they seem to like staying where they are, just popping out now and again, but not venturing further than a confining, push-up bra ....they know which side their nipples are buttered I guess.........
