Quote by MISSCHIEF
then it moves it's wife n kids into my wing mirrors.

Quote by x-man0223
better day today
my boss left me alone all day
greeeeeat
and in a beeter mood with work
not quitting anymore
as for my cousin she has a lot of begging for forgivness to do!!

Quote by marmalaid
Knowing that you have hit that very secret spot that will launch her on tidal waves of pleasure and then enjoying it as she comes time after time....

Quote by richardm
Just had a lovely long soak in the bath which was really nice and relaxing. Aren't they a wonderful way to just chill for a while.
What do you do? Music? Dance? TV? Read a book?
Answers on a postcard to....
:dry: :dry: :dry: :dry:

Quote by marmalaid
Knowing that you have hit that very secret spot that will launch her on tidal waves of pleasure and then enjoying it as she comes time after time....

Quote by equi-princess
A pair of Jimmy Choos for fun.........
Bally shoes.... conservative and black for work.....
Manolo Blahniks.... just for the hell of it.......
Sergio Tacchinni riding boots for all other times....... lol
equi-princess xxx

Call me an ignoramus redneck but I haven't got a clue what these brands are like / cost / or where to buy them .... typical bloke I guess.....
I used to spend a fortune on clothes in my youth .... £100 shirts .... £200 jeans .. it was water off a duck's back in the pursuit of fashion . these days you'll find me in a comfortable pair of jeans and a casual t-shirt most of the time..
Shoes?? ........ a pair of sneakers, a few pairs of casual trainer-like fashion pumps, some 20 year old brogues that I just can't seem to throw away ... and my sandals for when it's hot.... all adds to a '40 y/o trying to be 20 again grunge look' ... hehehe

Quote by golden tongue
If I can`t make a woman have the orgasmic experience of a lifetime just by using my tongue & fingers, she is either in a coma or dead.
Ask women I know in Leicester & Norwich. :

Quote by Titsalina
Never in a million years did I expect to find the one person that sets my soul alight here on Swinging Heaven.

Quote by marmalaid
I'll have you know that mine is a proper one, I'll try to remember to get a photo up tonight or tomorrow, none of your nancy exposure suits that many of the surfers wear, this is a proper 3 peice wetsuit, 7mm long johns, 7mm top and 3 mm vest with integrated hood. (Oh, and long tassle thing at the back so I don't have to struggle getting it on )

Quote by x-man0223
if there was such a thing as a soulmate then i would like her now to cheer me up

Quote by twos_company
his wallet
lol

Quote by Calista
(medic1 in deep thought)
Wonder if I should sing "Save All Your Kisses For Me" ....... on this thread.
:wink:

Quote by Fred aka Medic 1
(medic1 in deep thought)
Wonder if I should sing "Save All Your Kisses For Me" ....... on this thread.
:wink:

Quote by equi-princess
Awwwwwww..... nice thread Wishy
At SH I think I have met a friend for every occassion :shock: . Taking the sexual side of the site away and leaving just the "community" element I am still continually surprised and amazed by the strength of some of the friendships that I have seen develop on here. I know if I was ever in need of a friend I could find them on here....... OH YES YOU WILL BE MY FRIEND OR I WILL BAN YOU... BAN YOU ALL, DO YOU HEAR! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: .
BE MY FRIEND .... NOW!
I'm not sure I really do believe in the term "soulmate", I am a complicated character... :lol2: ... I don't think I could find someone who could match me soul for soul. Anyways, I sold my soul to some queer geezer down a back alley for a bag of chips and a veggie burger years ago, so I am now totally lost........
HELP ME.............. I'M LOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST...............
OK, yeah, I'm still a bit pissed from last night. No idea what this post is about. I promise not to drive a tonka toy or operate machinery til I feel better! :grin:

Quote by bluexxx
this is totally unfair guys,
Why do the questions have to be about sport. ( i dont know one end of a football pitch to another) but i would like to join in the fun.
anyway here is one.
formula one question right what team did David Coulthard used to drive for and
see i know a little sport
ha ha
Lisamarie

Quote by Sgt Bilko

I erm, she is very embarrassed!! ops: :oops: :oops:

Quote by bluexxx
Ask us one on Sport! :? :? :?

Quote by Silk and Big G
Below is a copy of a letter that won a competition in UK as complaint letter of the year...have a laugh and read on.
Complaint Letter of the Year. The British do have a way with words.... A real-life customer complaint letter sent to NTL (to their complaints dept....)
Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up foryour 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidityof monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely
(I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat a*se waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website....HOW?
I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes -an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem
had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I amstill waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to avariety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highlyskilled bollock jugglers.
I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don'tcare, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me,
therefore, if I continue.
I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god- awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.
British Telecom - w*nkers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed todeliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.
John

Quote by Calista
@ Marm's & Dammie .....
I don't know that I believe in soulmates .... once thought I'd found mine but he turned out to be a bad 'un.
I swore that I'd never get married and yet when I met Morbius, I "knew" he as the one and we are so happy ... we have our struggles, but we pick each other up and dust each other down as and when needed, I trust him with my life and that of my children, I know he's there for me when I need him, and even when I'm not with him thinking of him cheers me up. I still miss him like mad when we're not together and sex ... :contented sigh: well he knows exactly which buttons to press :twisted:
Soulmate .. who knows : ..... best friend ... absolutely :thumbup:
Cx

Quote by Fred aka Medic 1

All the Oldies hate the Newbies,
And the Newbies hate the Oldies
The Swingers hate the Doggers
But everyone loves the Mods.
But during National Brotherhood Week
It's ev'ryone-smile-at-one-another-hood week
Be nice to people who are inferior to you
It's only for a week, so have no fear
Be thankfull that it does'nt last all year.
:wink:

Quote by Fred aka Medic 1
"PEOPLE ! PEOPLE !"
Remember that this week is "International Brotherhood Week". A week when we must try and do our best to be nice to ALL.
If we can not say nice things to our fellow man/woman/ human beings then the very least we can do is to "Shut Up" and say nowt.
I have now shut up.