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Wishmaster

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8 Aug 2005

Quote by hateitorloveit
"Can I be nosey and ask how old she is"
She is 23 or 24. She has had a couple of long term relationships so pretty experienced.

You don't even know her correct age yet you want her to chomp on your todger???
How old are you?
The other thing that's important is cleanliness....... no woman likes to go down on a guy who isn't clean. Think about it..... you're out drinking all night, visiting the loos etc. then back to your place place for some rumpy-pumpy... you 'guide' her head south and what greets her???
Sounds like you two need to talk a bit more before heading off to the bedroom.

8 Aug 2005

Quote by equinox
For us chaps they're a really good get out..
"Does this dress make my bum look fat? "
"Hold on one moment, i'll take a picture darling and you can judge for yourself."

Excellent!!! ...... added this to my repertiore of good 'get outs'..

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

8 Aug 2005

I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill here.. sure, people get an attack of nerves whenever they do anything for the first time but it doesn't stop you doing it does it? She'll be fine m8, bring her along and enjoy the evening - you'll have a blast and then when she logs on afterwards she'll know dozens of people to chat to.
I'm hoping to take my partner to her first munch on that same night..... so we'll see you both there smile

smile

8 Aug 2005

Why am I suddenly feeling very insecure ... hehehe ... even if someone DID have one that big I'd still never believe him...... :shock: :shock: :shock:

8 Aug 2005

Quote by equi-princess
I love a long soak in the bath, my hubbie wants to rip it out and have just a shower :shock:
I admit i like a shower in the summer but u still can't beat a bath

Your hubby is just wrong, plain wrong, and I say again wrong. Showers and baths can have a peaceful co-existance, but ripping out a bath to put in a shower is errrrr........wrong.
Don't let him do it or you'll regret it.......
Just my 2p worth smile

smile

cool

8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-)
Ripping the bath out would be sacriledge....... don't do it.... let both the bath and the shower co-exist happily side by side.... it works.... lol
Showers are for when you're in a hurry.... a bath is the ideal way to unwind and totally relax, shedding your cares of the day as easily as the droplets of water that fall from your skin as you step out of the water........ lol
equi-princess xxx
Kinky!!! ... veeeery kinky!!!!
What is it with women and water????
Bathing is a functional thing, step in shower, wash, go... job done .... unless of course you're not alone. :wink:

8 Aug 2005

Some dead flies!!!
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: evil

evil

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

8 Aug 2005

I have a metal Manchester United logo on mine ... along with a fob for opening the electric gates and a little blue light thingy for finding the keyhole at night. Pretty conventional I know but I don't like big bunches of keys in my pockets coz they always end up tearing holes in my jeans (and dangle on my leg when I'm driving) - yeah, and rattle incessantly!!

7 Aug 2005

Quote by SirLee
sign me up jim

Shouldn't that be 'Beam me up, Jim' ..... hehehe (I know, I'm a soft B*****d but I couldnae resist it cap'n)

7 Aug 2005

Just realised I'm free that weekend ......... daughter's off on hols with her mum so count me in ..... I will be driving up from Luton (M1 / M6 / M62) ...... so I can pick people up on the way but I'll need a place to crash if anyone can help.

7 Aug 2005

Thanks for the giggle...... it was nice to meet a few new peeps that I hadn't met b4 (Kat - even though you were insistent that we had met before I 'm telling you we hadn't lol) - unless it was in another life..... nice meeting you n Kit finally!
I think there's enough of us in Central England to make this a regular event. Over to you Sarah ;)

7 Aug 2005

Big Blather is such a load of bollox!!!
Every year we have to endure the 'Will they / Wont they finally fecking shag someone' merry go round but whenever someone actually dares to anything remotely sexual it's like a media frenzy to see who can't publicly castrate them first!!!
grrrrrrrrr Hypocrites!!!! <Wishy looks up - ooeer - didn't see you lot there>

7 Aug 2005

Think about it logically .......if some shit of a person thinks it's absolutely acceptable to crap all over your feelings then do you really want them in your life anyway??
If someone fucks me about once - they're out! End of!
I'll be anyone's friend until THEY give me a reason not to be.

7 Aug 2005

Nice sentiment... welcome to SH.... there ya go.. got another mate now haven't you.

7 Aug 2005

I think we could possibly make a Kent Munch without too much difficulty....... now where's my book of southern lingo... been oop north for too long... hehehe

7 Aug 2005

I've not had my daughter walk in on me while on the job but a few months back I had a very nice BDSM session and we used a leg harness (ankle straps with a connecting bar) , various ropes etc.. all nice, normal fun ... hehehe
However, in the heat of things I decided that the ropes, harness etc had to come off coz I really needed to finish off - if you know what I mean - so everything just got untied and ceremoniously dumped by the side of the bed.
My partner went home the next day and I went to fetch my daughter from her mum's - completely forgetting about the equipment on the lfoor in the bedroom and the rope tied around each corner of the bed!!!
When we got home my daughter went to use the bathroom in my bedroom instead of the main one and came back holding the ankle restraint in her 7y/o hands asking 'Whats this daddy?'
I could've bloody died!!!
All I could think of to explain it was 'Its a special brace to help people with wonky knees to walk straight.' To which she replied: 'Your getting old if you need one of these, daddy.'
I know she believes me now but when she's 17, 18 etc.......... she'll know damn well what it is!!!

7 Aug 2005

Quote by westerross
On the plus side I've discovered the blues again,BB king ,Muddy Waters, Howlin' Wolf,so some good has come out of it!

Try Dancing Down the Stoney Road by Chris Rea - easily the best modern blues album for ages. There's fabuluos DVD of the making of the album as well. No doubt - the hard edge of the blues is uplifting.
The advice about staying off the drink from M2P2 is very good.
Morose songs are not what you need right now.. get out and keep yourself busy .. what you are feeling now is all part of the healing process, and there is no 'quick fix' for it apart from time (a bit cliche I know - but true never-the-less). Alcohol is certainly not the answer as alcohol is an excellerant - it will enhance whatever mood you are in at the time and if you are feeling down you really don't want alcohol in your system as you will end up doing something you later regret.
Remember: ex's are ex's for a reason. If someone doesn't want to be with you then they don't derserve you anyway. To hell with them and move on.

7 Aug 2005

Quote by marmalaid
lol - yeah, nicknamed the "Banjo String".
Tra snapped that on a virgin too! She's ur worst nightmare! :lol: :lol:

It's called a , not the frenulum, you understand, frenulum is also the name of the similar bit of skin under the tongue (and at other places on the body.

Banjo-String sounds better than frenulum .... has better connotations ... hehehe
Not had any serious sexual accidents (probably coz I know wtf I'm doing :lol: ) but I did once keep a young lass out all night ... we had a really great time and shagged in loads of places/positions..... the problem arose when I took her home the next day and she introduced me to her family.
The conversation went something like this:
Girlfriend: Hi Mum, Dad, bro, sis ........ this is Chris.
Dad: Hello Chris, nice to meet you. How are you?
Me: I'm ok thanks, a bit tired.
Dad: Really? Perhaps you shouldn't keep my daughter out all night then! :twisted:
I didn't see her again. Which is a shame really coz she wuz bluddy gorgeous!!!

7 Aug 2005

Can't say I really knew that much about the man but 59 is a very young age to die .... I enjoyed the Spitting Image caricuture of him though ...... the garden gnome sketch is hilarious (which he himself thought was very comical) ... RIP.

6 Aug 2005

Hiya Sarah,
Count me in.... as I'm in MK all day I might as well come n join yas for a lil drinkie...
Sent you a PM.

6 Aug 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
Something tells me im better off south of the Watford Gap :boxing:

True. Down south it's the men who beat up the women. Wot a larf.
Here, what do you say to a woman who has two black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice.

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
ooo not true! My nan was a bodyguard for the Krays!! Tough old bugger she was, none of this beating up grannies in her day..... she'd have taken em on in the old fashioned way ........ bare breasted and with a baby in each arm ..... and won!!!

5 Aug 2005

Quote by equinox
...... after 9 years together you should know each other's sexual fantasies already ..
True but those fantasies were probably neive 9 years ago. They were only metioned briefly at the very beginning as you're in the enfatuated stage... then things progress comfortably and there's lots of talking but there's never a point at which you say "by the way i think we're going off the boil a bit here what about...." then theres denial (No you can't say it isn't..that's denial!)... Everyone's probably the same . Then there's desperation... ANYTHING is better than nothing. and then it's a long walk back to the point where you can address those issues.
Then theres one of you looking for something... This site....a Liason that opens acircle of friends.
And how. What imagination can you try to bring in without looking like a fumbling teenager?
Is there an arguement to say try something new and if you like it pass it on. At least then you know what you're talking about.
.... Or have i drunk too muck wine tonight?

Ur pissed!

drinkies

:drinkies: :drinkies: :drinkies: :drinkies: :drinkies: :drinkies: :drinkies:

5 Aug 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Naturally, with an eye either side of it's head it would see the front door and the back door simultaneously.. and then when it swam around it would see the back door and the front door simultaneously .... so actually it would see both doors all the time simultaneously .... oh brother!.. you got me at it now!!!

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
My god you're right :shock: .......
ahhhhhh but when the fish turns around and looks at the front and back door - it would have forgotten that it had already seen it when facing the other way.
:undecided: So the poor fish is gonna spend the whole night going "ohhhh thats a nice (but small) front and back door" swim swim "oh what a lovely (but small) front and back door" swim swim "wow they've got a (although small) front and a back door" swim swim etc.....
Good job fish only have a 2 second memory then innit.....
Fish swims round bowl ...... "oh look, a castle!" ..... swims round bowl.... "oh look, a castle!" ..... swims round bowl .... do fish get deja vue?
But what do you call a fish with NO eyes?

5 Aug 2005

Quote by bluexxx
Speak up, we can't hear you

eee said blessed are the meek, ooo I am glad they're getting something - they have a helluva time!

5 Aug 2005

apology accepted ... I like this game. what's next?

5 Aug 2005

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Oh god Dave, is that fish ok? does everything look really weeny and far away to the fish cos it's on the other side of the glass? ..... I don't suppose you can ask it can you :undecided: Are you sure it's gonna get MrsDavej and not scare the crap outta your kids when they come back from the pub??? :shock:

I am getting seriously worried about your thought processes here Misschief .... what the devil made you think about what the goldfish would see?
Naturally, with an eye either side of it's head it would see the front door and the back door simultaneously.. and then when it swam around it would see the back door and the front door simultaneously .... so actually it would see both doors all the time simultaneously .... oh brother!.. you got me at it now!!!

5 Aug 2005

Welcome to SH..... you two are sure gonna make the next Scottish Munch interesting . hmmmm
Have fun guys!

5 Aug 2005

Hmmm.. ur bluddy nice... fancy a fiddle!!!
(one of marm's chat up lines.. just thought I'd test it out... hehehe)
A man was run over by a train the other day .... he was chuffed to bits!

5 Aug 2005

Hang on a minute, am I missing something here......... after 9 years together you should know each other's sexual fantasies already .. I mean you can only shag for so long then you HAVE to talk to each other... and if your sex lives have taken such a down turn then surely there is a more fundamental issue that needs resolving before even thinking about sex with other people.

5 Aug 2005

Quote by EBR
Yep, another newbie that is delighted to have found somewhere I don't have to pay for. If I only had a shag for the amount of sites that appear to be "free" that turn out to be nothing of the sort.
Anyway, here's my newbie question. Am I allowed to advertise on here for women to e-mail me pictures or do I have to limit that to ads. This doesn't appear to be answered in the help areas ?
Thanx

Hmmm... so basically you are a tight arsed pic collector who doesn't like sex.... hehehe ....... welcome to SH........ as for the answer to your question ..... that's mod stuff so I'll let one of them address the issue. Happy Hunting!

5 Aug 2005

Quote by EagerSlut
I'm being stalked by a spider .... the same fecking one must hold the world record for longevity coz I've had 6 cars in the space of 20 years and lived in 4 different houses and the little bugger always manages to find out where I park them and then it moves it's wife n kids into my wing mirrors.

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: I've got one of those too!
Lives in my car's driver's mirror. Watched it the other day shoot from the interior mirror outta my window and on to the wing mirror (which always has a new web on it each morning). Then it disappeared around the edge of the glass and inside the mirror housing! :P
Not sure about my truck though :undecided:
That's got heated wing mirrors so in theory ought to have a veritable nest of the little buggers but I've never seen one yet! lol

lol

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
I even spent Â£30 on car washes one day trying to drown the little bugger!!... what did it do? ...... came out of it's little poxy web wearing scuba gear!!