Quote by bailiffs
Fuck Me!!!!!!!!! That's like the black hole of Calcutta!!!!!!!
I'd shit myself if I saw that ... hehehe
Got to hand it to her though ... it is stomach churning.
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
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This isn't a my-mate-but-was-really-me story .. this actually happened.....
Years ago, (almost feel like saying Once Upon A Time there hehehe), a mate of mine got pissed up and went home to bed. He decided to have a five knuckle shuffle whilst reading his fave porn mag but promptly fell asleep half way through the dirty deed. His mag fell on top of his hand, which was, of course, holding his todger.
When he awoke the next morning there was no sign of the mag, which he thought odd coz he did remember doing it. He showered, dressed and with trepidation went down for breakfast. At the brekkie table was himself, his mum, his sis and his dad.............. he sat down and settled into his cornflakes when his dad piped up ...... 'Good night, son?! ....... he replied...... 'Yup, was excellent, dad!' .... dad retorted with ...... 'Thought so, btw, I put ya book away for ya!!!'
I'd fecking die of embarrassment if that was me!!! (WHICH IT AIN'T)
C'mon guys.. ever been caught wanking?? I haven't ...... Yet!!!
Years ago, (almost feel like saying Once Upon A Time there hehehe), a mate of mine got pissed up and went home to bed. He decided to have a five knuckle shuffle whilst reading his fave porn mag but promptly fell asleep half way through the dirty deed. His mag fell on top of his hand, which was, of course, holding his todger.
When he awoke the next morning there was no sign of the mag, which he thought odd coz he did remember doing it. He showered, dressed and with trepidation went down for breakfast. At the brekkie table was himself, his mum, his sis and his dad.............. he sat down and settled into his cornflakes when his dad piped up ...... 'Good night, son?! ....... he replied...... 'Yup, was excellent, dad!' .... dad retorted with ...... 'Thought so, btw, I put ya book away for ya!!!'
I'd fecking die of embarrassment if that was me!!! (WHICH IT AIN'T)
C'mon guys.. ever been caught wanking?? I haven't ...... Yet!!!
Quote by well_busty_babe
if you knew a friends partner was cheating,
would you take the view that it was none of your buisness and not tell them? or would you feel that you had a moral obligation to telll them?
do you think that by allowing your friend to be dicieved that you have betrayed them?
or do you believe that by telling them it would put your friendship in jeapordy?
likewise if you found out that you were the last to know, would you resent your "friends" for not telling you? or would you accept that they had not felt comfortable in bringing it up?
could you continue a friendship with someone who you know had the chance to help you to see the truth, but had decided not to?
or would you be thankful that they had allowed you blissfull ignorance?
If it was my closest friend I would tell him but would he actually believe me - there is the dilemma, if he is that much in love with his girl would he believe a friend if he was told that she was cheating?
I would confront her instead first. Her body language will tell the truth. Not telling him and then him finding out later that I knew would be a disaster and one I wouldn't risk for the sake of a slimeball partner who cheats.
If it was me who was being cheated upon then yes, I would expect my friends to tell me if they knew. The friendship would be severely tested if they didn't. Ignorance is not bliss.
Quote by meat2pleaseu
you know you've become a regular when...
you leave the webpage open while do all your other work, then suddenly realise you've just submitted a form to the bank with your name listed as meat2pleaseu
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
That ain't bloody funny!!!....... I once emailed my parents from my Wishmaster email account.... that took some explaining!!!
and what did you email to them that needed explaining, or is the account
No, it was the cock shot and the response to an ad that was in the email that kinda got them asking questions ... hehehe
Reorganised my address book pronto can tell ya ..... parents surname begins with W too you see
Quote by meat2pleaseu
you know you've become a regular when...
you leave the webpage open while do all your other work, then suddenly realise you've just submitted a form to the bank with your name listed as meat2pleaseu
That ain't bloody funny!!!....... I once emailed my parents from my Wishmaster email account.... that took some explaining!!!
Quote by little gem
A girl can dream Morbius!
If you put Neilnolongerinleeds into the test thingy it gives 0% every time no matter what the other name is!
If I put my full name in I get 0% everytime too.
I think its one that counts the number of letters and then works it out from that thinking that if you have a really really long first name that it will never work between you cos people wont be bothered to say your name! :lol:
Now why did that make so much more sense in my head! :lol:
:doh:
I guess Rumpelstiltskin & Quasimodo are buggered then :shock: :shock:
You know your a regular when your homepage for internet explorer is set to Swinging Heaven ...... that's me being a lazy arse who can't be bothered to type it in.
You know your a newbie coz you cringe when your parents see the Swinging Heaven website in your Address bar after they fire up internet explorer to order something from fecking Argos!!............. coz YOU forgot to clear your History didn't ya!!!
Mum: "What's this site, Chris"
Me: "Just something I use for chatting online, Ma"
Mum: "Fecking liar, I used to be a teenager in the 60's and we didn't call it the Swinging 60's for nothing you know!"
Me: "It means something entirely different now, honest"
Mum: "I wondered why all your recent girlfriends live 200 miles away! ... you used to pick up the rough old nuggets from the local chippy!"
Me: "Fresh Fields, Ma! .... hehehe"
You know your a newbie coz you cringe when your parents see the Swinging Heaven website in your Address bar after they fire up internet explorer to order something from fecking Argos!!............. coz YOU forgot to clear your History didn't ya!!!
Mum: "What's this site, Chris"
Me: "Just something I use for chatting online, Ma"
Mum: "Fecking liar, I used to be a teenager in the 60's and we didn't call it the Swinging 60's for nothing you know!"
Me: "It means something entirely different now, honest"
Mum: "I wondered why all your recent girlfriends live 200 miles away! ... you used to pick up the rough old nuggets from the local chippy!"
Me: "Fresh Fields, Ma! .... hehehe"
Quote by equi-princess
Be afraid........ be very afraid.......................
Today...... I have the Landrover keys..... complete with......
Small pen knife ..... for opening bales of hay and feed bags....
Small key.... i have no idea what its for... maybe find out one day.... lol
Gate key
Ignition key
Landrover key fob....
The scary thing about this is....... i take up all the road when driving this.... and the lanes around me are narrow enough....... lol
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm..... tourist scaring....... my favourite hobby...... lol...... !!!!!
equi-princess xxx
You mean you don't have one of those mini washing machines on your keyring??
How do you keep your jodhpurs sparkling white, Sparkle!!!
Hmmm....... just found an article that might interest you Equi ........
An extract from Lady-Sonia…
I waited in the stable yard as the brand new Range Rover pulling the large black horsebox approached through the gate and down the long private driveway… I was looking forward to a long hard afternoon ride and as a couple of stable boys hurried past me leading Ladies who had just returned on horses towards the main stable building I gave them both a VERY stern look to let them know that they did NOT have my permission to allow their eyes to fall upon my brand new skin-tight white dressage jodhpurs and my highly polished black knee length spike heeled riding boots…
The fact that I was wearing a thin white cotton dressage blouse with a plunging neckline together with a half-cup platform bra, which thrusted my jutting breasts, and fully erect nipples into the thin almost see-through material could have proved even more of a distraction to any ill disciplined males but as I just tapped my long thin crop against the soft leather of my spike heeled riding boot menacingly the stable boys knew that I was watching them very closely…
Theres more where this came from .....
Oh fgs...... i am working this morning.... and supposed to be concentrating on books and stuff....... and you place that article on my desk....... lol
I presume you're sending me the rest of it are you?????? and btw....... i don't do Dressage..... lol
equi-princess xxx
Ok then Sparkle............. do you do 'UN-dressage'???
:shock: :evil: :shock: :evil: 
:evil: :shock: :evil: :shock: :evil: Quote by equi-princess
Be afraid........ be very afraid.......................
Today...... I have the Landrover keys..... complete with......
Small pen knife ..... for opening bales of hay and feed bags....
Small key.... i have no idea what its for... maybe find out one day.... lol
Gate key
Ignition key
Landrover key fob....
The scary thing about this is....... i take up all the road when driving this.... and the lanes around me are narrow enough....... lol
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm..... tourist scaring....... my favourite hobby...... lol...... !!!!!
equi-princess xxx
You mean you don't have one of those mini washing machines on your keyring??
How do you keep your jodhpurs sparkling white, Sparkle!!!
Hmmm....... just found an article that might interest you Equi ........
An extract from Lady-Sonia…
I waited in the stable yard as the brand new Range Rover pulling the large black horsebox approached through the gate and down the long private driveway… I was looking forward to a long hard afternoon ride and as a couple of stable boys hurried past me leading Ladies who had just returned on horses towards the main stable building I gave them both a VERY stern look to let them know that they did NOT have my permission to allow their eyes to fall upon my brand new skin-tight white dressage jodhpurs and my highly polished black knee length spike heeled riding boots…
The fact that I was wearing a thin white cotton dressage blouse with a plunging neckline together with a half-cup platform bra, which thrusted my jutting breasts, and fully erect nipples into the thin almost see-through material could have proved even more of a distraction to any ill disciplined males but as I just tapped my long thin crop against the soft leather of my spike heeled riding boot menacingly the stable boys knew that I was watching them very closely…
Theres more where this came from .....
Quote by SXBOY
the arsenal squad photo
Just got one thing to say to ya .... hehehe ..... 2-0!!!
From a very happy Man Utd fan......
:lol: :lol: :lol:as you and your BETTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! half are sadly having difficult times ,,,and may god make her better SWIFTLY
i let you off with we finished second and no crappy preliminary rounds of the champions league
8-) love a bit of rivalry
But but but ....... Hungary's very nice this time of year ... we knew we'd get some exotic foriegn travel in so we let you finish 2nd last season.
....Now where exactly did you lose Patrick Viera ...... he must be round here somewhere.... hehehe
Get a monacle :shock:
It's small, compact, light, and mobile ...... and might even impress the girls if you wear it with a cravat and a monogrammed shirt and speak in a silly upper class English accent whilst standing next to someone else's Roller.
What I really wanna know though is why is the Miss Universe contest ALWAYS won by women from the Planet Earth??
It's small, compact, light, and mobile ...... and might even impress the girls if you wear it with a cravat and a monogrammed shirt and speak in a silly upper class English accent whilst standing next to someone else's Roller.
What I really wanna know though is why is the Miss Universe contest ALWAYS won by women from the Planet Earth??
Quote by Dave__Notts
There ya go!!!
Woodall Service Area (WELCOME BREAK) M1
Tibshelf Service Area (ROAD CHEF) M1
Trowell Service Area (MOTO) and Travelodge M1
Junction 22 and Travelodge (Leicester Markfield) M1
Leicester Forest East Service Area (WELCOME BREAK) M1
Watford Gap Service Area (ROAD CHEF) M1
Northampton Service Area (ROAD CHEF) M1
Newport Pagnell Service Area (WELCOME BREAK) M1
Toddington Service Area (MOTO) M1
Does it always pick out the service stations..................or do you just get peckish
Dave_Notts
I just used the AA's route planner and that's what it come up with ........... well he might get hungry!! :shock:
Quote by EagerSlut
Well it's par for the course to start posting in earnest when you've settled in after a few months. That's when you cut your spurs so to speak!
You'll soon feel like an old lag! :cheers:
I must've got it wrong then .... I was posting after a few minutes
lag = inmate??? :shock: :shock:
There ya go!!!
Start out at Doncaster,South Yorkshire A630
At roundabout take the 3rd exit onto Cleveland Street - A630 (signposted Rotherham) A630
Continue forward on the A630 A630
At traffic signals continue forward A630
At roundabout take the 1st exit, then join the A1(M) motorway (signposted The South) A1(M)
Leave the A1(M) at junction 35 (signposted Sheffield M1, Scunthorpe M180), then at roundabout take the 3rd exit, then join the M18 motorway (signposted M18 M'way)
At junction 32 continue forward onto the M1 (signposted The South, London, Nottingham)
Woodall Service Area (WELCOME BREAK) M1
Tibshelf Service Area (ROAD CHEF) M1
Trowell Service Area (MOTO) and Travelodge M1
Junction 22 and Travelodge (Leicester Markfield) M1
Leicester Forest East Service Area (WELCOME BREAK) M1
Watford Gap Service Area (ROAD CHEF) M1
Northampton Service Area (ROAD CHEF) M1
Newport Pagnell Service Area (WELCOME BREAK) M1
Toddington Service Area (MOTO) M1
Leave the M1 at junction 6A (signposted Harlow, Dartford Tunnel, Heathrow Airport), then immediately take the right hand lane (signposted Heathrow Airport) (signposted M1 London, Watford) M1
Continue forward, then join the M25.
Leave the M25 at junction 16 (signposted Uxbridge, London), then join the M40 motorway.
Continue forward at junction 1 onto Western Avenue - A40 (signposted C London, Harrow) A40
At Hillingdon Circus branch left, then at roundabout take the 2nd exit (signposted Hillingdon, Ruislip, Ickenham) Unclassified
At Hillingdon Circus traffic signals turn left onto the A437 (signposted Ickenham, Ruislip) A437
Keep in left hand lane then continue forward onto the B466 (signposted Ruislip, Ickenham) B466
Continue forward onto Long Lane - B466. Entering Ickenham B466
At "Coach and Horses" public house bear right (signposted Ruislip) B466
West Ruislip Station B466
At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the B466 (signposted Ruislip) B466
Bear right B466
Continue forward onto Ickenham Road - B466. Entering Ruislip B466
At T-junction turn left onto High Street Ruislip - A4180 (no signs) A4180
Arrive at Ruislip,Middlesex
Hope it helps .... hehehe
Start out at Doncaster,South Yorkshire A630
At roundabout take the 3rd exit onto Cleveland Street - A630 (signposted Rotherham) A630
Continue forward on the A630 A630
At traffic signals continue forward A630
At roundabout take the 1st exit, then join the A1(M) motorway (signposted The South) A1(M)
Leave the A1(M) at junction 35 (signposted Sheffield M1, Scunthorpe M180), then at roundabout take the 3rd exit, then join the M18 motorway (signposted M18 M'way)
At junction 32 continue forward onto the M1 (signposted The South, London, Nottingham)
Woodall Service Area (WELCOME BREAK) M1
Tibshelf Service Area (ROAD CHEF) M1
Trowell Service Area (MOTO) and Travelodge M1
Junction 22 and Travelodge (Leicester Markfield) M1
Leicester Forest East Service Area (WELCOME BREAK) M1
Watford Gap Service Area (ROAD CHEF) M1
Northampton Service Area (ROAD CHEF) M1
Newport Pagnell Service Area (WELCOME BREAK) M1
Toddington Service Area (MOTO) M1
Leave the M1 at junction 6A (signposted Harlow, Dartford Tunnel, Heathrow Airport), then immediately take the right hand lane (signposted Heathrow Airport) (signposted M1 London, Watford) M1
Continue forward, then join the M25.
Leave the M25 at junction 16 (signposted Uxbridge, London), then join the M40 motorway.
Continue forward at junction 1 onto Western Avenue - A40 (signposted C London, Harrow) A40
At Hillingdon Circus branch left, then at roundabout take the 2nd exit (signposted Hillingdon, Ruislip, Ickenham) Unclassified
At Hillingdon Circus traffic signals turn left onto the A437 (signposted Ickenham, Ruislip) A437
Keep in left hand lane then continue forward onto the B466 (signposted Ruislip, Ickenham) B466
Continue forward onto Long Lane - B466. Entering Ickenham B466
At "Coach and Horses" public house bear right (signposted Ruislip) B466
West Ruislip Station B466
At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the B466 (signposted Ruislip) B466
Bear right B466
Continue forward onto Ickenham Road - B466. Entering Ruislip B466
At T-junction turn left onto High Street Ruislip - A4180 (no signs) A4180
Arrive at Ruislip,Middlesex
Hope it helps .... hehehe
Welcome to SH Jo....... read through your thread and echo the comments made..... I prefer the club scene and like they said, you only do what you want to do and if anyone approaches you that you don't fancy - a polite no thanks usually is enough, they all know the score and shouldn't hassle you.
Quote by KitKat
Thanks for the giggle...... it was nice to meet a few new peeps that I hadn't met b4 (Kat - even though you were insistent that we had met before I 'm telling you
Wrong way round Wishy-poo 
I'll echo the thanks Sarah. -
although next time we must get the travel arrangements sorted out! 
lhk
Kat + Kit
I bluddy knew I'd do that!!!! .......... and if I KNEW I'd do it, why the hell didn't I stop myself :?
