i have had a few vobrators, i keep losing them though.
one moment they are in my hand, the next the are gone never to be seen again.
i keep meaning to get the potholers group to have a look for them for me.
i dont belive in wasting money on all the fancy dildos and butt plugs, why go and buy one.. we all have a table leg at home! i find it works fine, only probelm is u have to be quite flexible for the DP stuff... good job i have a big ass.
BB
xx
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Quote by gilbert
Just practising for the poets corner:
Bertha what we had was more
than life itself
your assets clearly would make
and ideal bathroom shelf.
Your chasing me had me as hot
as as a barbeque
I wanted to sizzle
and cook and smoulder with you
but you went and left me
for some military man
who is bald and hairless
and can't do half as much for you as I can
you've made the bed you lie in
you fickle comely wench
but know this my luscious sweet
losing you is such a wrench
OK friends
I am not a keats or wordsworth, I would never pretend to be so hence I post here rather than in the hallowed vaults of the poets corner, where reside the truly greats
but I am devastated at the loss.
It is seldom that such an ample woman on this site choses one so decidedly.
I was truly humbled
( OK just a little scared)
but I knew that deep down she was and no doubt is a pussy cat
( don't remind me but so is a Tiger!!!)
As some have said better to have loved ( even at a distance) and lost than never to have been lusted after at all.
I do not know what more to say
I may be some time
sniffle
Gilbert
gilbie... i is moved!
moved i tell you... i think it is wind after eating 3 potions of dinner!
the sargent man is no more, he seems to have had some kind of breathing attack!
he was fine chatting away untill i lent over him, the last thing i heard him say was something that sounded like heeeeeeeeeeeeelllppp hmmmmmmmp mmmwwwwwhhhhhhaaaaaahhhhhh humphhhhhhhhh or something like that. when i leaned up he seemed a bit still, his lips were blue and there was a foamy thing coming from his mouth!
i soon kicked HIM to the kerb!
tut the men here are not made of the same stuff the ones back home are made from!
i think there may be a place for you again in my life, i do have my eyes firmly fixed on someone else but there is enough of me to go round you all.
i have to be off now, the trailor park is being fumagated and i am a bit busy sending off my form to be on jerry springer.
yours always
Bertha Bulbuosa
x
Quote by gilbert
Is it me?
Bertha, seems a mite shy at the minute.
and what is it about Bertha that sounds like it could be ali g in disguise?
And how are we to know that what she claims as her's is 100% real woman? she has been decidely coy. at joining in with the best boobs fun.
For all we know it is just a load of padding, or perhaps more correctly a load of hot air!
so Bertha sweet? lady in the words of the poet, put up or shut up!!!! don't tell us you si a shy girl?
if I am to be your first ( of many) on Sh you is goin to have to do better than this. I may have an odd shaped ball but show me a man on here that hasn't
Bertha darling wench
I am alone and waiting
when I'm calling you ooo oooo oooo
Gilbert
me was eentending to put this in poets corner but cant find me way there!
gilbert darling
do not fear
your time has come
berthas here!
i is just wiping meself down with a babywipe and then you can come and give me a good seeing to.
you dont mind if i eat my dinner at the same time do you? a girl has to keep her energy up you know!!!
you dont believe i am all women... i look like a woman i taste like a woman and i smell like a woman! sweat! a propper womans smell!
dont be long... mommas waiting!
:wink:
Quote by gilbert
Bertha, dear lady, It is difficult to think of a request I could make of you.
well hows abouts i makes a request of YOU cupcake?
you and me and some sweeeeeeeeeeet music? you get my drift?
Quote by gilbert
You haven't got a kinky lizard hiding in your ample bosom have you. Not quite as well busty babe has lost him, and seems to be pining. I suppose if he is hiding on the underside of assets you might not know..
man.. last time i looked under theses babies it was 1987!!!
Quote by gilbert
oh and a very big welcome to SH, we all hope you have fun, you appear to have made a great start
gilbert
i intend to have loads and YOU are first on my list baby!
