i certainley like the idea of people applying through the forum to attend as,
1) theres a record of peeps attending which has a couple of positive benefits.
2) i may follow one of londons socials thread held last month same day as ours and there last thread after the event was a list of people who actually failed to show, some with valid excuses most with no apology thus naming and shaming in a also has benefits
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cockslut
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 68
Bisexual Male, 69
UK
Forum
hopefully we all took part today, however when we have 1 for say a celeb or football player we may remember there role in society how they entertained us etc. but todays rememberance got me thinking 2 ways, sorrow for the familys and the lost ones but also anger at the perpotrators. is that normal?
i do enjoy some of the humour, plus the back reference, and like i said i like to look through other peoples views and if i feel there correct change my views .so its educational too in that too keen when a valid thread (maybe a question) gets a bit of humour added and it's completely hijacked and goes off at a tangent or just stops without the author getting the answer to his question.
we would love some of the forum users to pop along to one of our socials,so at moment then best way forward is to maybe when placing our next ad would be to "go overboard" explaining the boundaries of our social, which is purely drinks / chat at a vanilla social. they should expect no diference to say a drink in town with his friends.
is that suffice?
is that suffice?
i won't write my first paragragh as its given me an idea of a new thread, so look out for that one coming to a screen near you soon.
interesting views i must say, must add..
1)fem 4 , regarding one of our hotel meets i think we got conned somewhat as he turned out to be a rep on business.
2)redwinelover don't write condoms and split in same
3)sarah gosh there a pervy hotel near you wanting to know what time you came er sorry
4)H.L.B. carefull about suggesting making a profit on
5)frecklybird what if the single didnt perform very well say he came in 2 minutes, still 1/3rds?
interesting views i must say, must add..
1)fem 4 , regarding one of our hotel meets i think we got conned somewhat as he turned out to be a rep on business.
2)redwinelover don't write condoms and split in same
3)sarah gosh there a pervy hotel near you wanting to know what time you came er sorry
4)H.L.B. carefull about suggesting making a profit on
5)frecklybird what if the single didnt perform very well say he came in 2 minutes, still 1/3rds?
is it correct to assume then, with S.H. rules covering socials nothing untoward as actually / physically happened to any one at a social. which may suggest there rules are adequate, or are some are looking forward and seeking potential problems by arranging a social thats advertised in both the forum chatroom and photo ads, thus inviting all members of s.h. which some feel have diferent attitudes to recreational sex dependant which medium they use ?
also there was a forum running last week seeking mentors for newbies, surely if these mentors have differing views, people will get differing views on what socials are etc. they may even scare them to death with supposedly unsafe gatherings they may never progress further along this path, so i agree black & white rules are needed,however to write a statement for nearly 1/2 million people who need to understand would be very difficult.
also there was a forum running last week seeking mentors for newbies, surely if these mentors have differing views, people will get differing views on what socials are etc. they may even scare them to death with supposedly unsafe gatherings they may never progress further along this path, so i agree black & white rules are needed,however to write a statement for nearly 1/2 million people who need to understand would be very difficult.
if a single str8 guy wants to meet a couple (where hubby happens to be bi) but neither party can accomodate,and because he wants to get his "rocks off" he suggests a hotel meet , who should pay for the room.
1) single guy pays
2) share the cost
we have our view wondered what single guys and couples feel is correct.
1) single guy pays
2) share the cost
we have our view wondered what single guys and couples feel is correct.
so it appears your saying if someone wants to meet 4 sex (ie, a photo advert user) there not wanted at socials, b4 you reply i'm not suggesting sex at the you realy think if and i say if because from photo ads experience shows 99% don't turn up cos someone advertises in the photo ad section there gonna "jump" on every female at a vanilla pub.i'm certain they will be as controlled as any one should be who frequents any public house.
am i right in thinking if someones got say 1000 posts they are more safer to meet? a post with someones sense of humour showing (which what lots of posts are) doesn't suggest there safer to meet.
youve said theres a divide betwen the 3 mediums but want to try and close that divide but your posts aren't suggesting that, as you say don't invite people who advertise in other sections.
am i right in thinking if someones got say 1000 posts they are more safer to meet? a post with someones sense of humour showing (which what lots of posts are) doesn't suggest there safer to meet.
youve said theres a divide betwen the 3 mediums but want to try and close that divide but your posts aren't suggesting that, as you say don't invite people who advertise in other sections.
i don't know why but some peeps enquire about a gb just to know the location etc, they have no intention of going, hence why numbers dwindle nearer the time, a lot of guys can't perform if the womans hubby is in attendance, and even moreso in a group situation, so they've probably watched pornos getting all these ideas about gb's but when it comes down to it majority know they wont perform adequately so dont bother showing up.
now i'm confused, having placed an ad running alongside a forum topic, which many of you are unhappy with, WHY is it then S.H. encourages you to do that by having a "stickied" in the lets meet up forum showing you how to do it?are you guys actively complaining to the admin team to have that removed?? because if it needs to be removed until it is people will do it thinking it's ok to do so.
Quote by fabio grooverider
presumably ad users are paying members of s.h. and have the right to be invited to a social, experience may tell us there the biggest form of timewasters but surely we cant paint everyone in there with the same may of been chance the've adopted to use the ads section or even chatroom as opposed to the forum so why treat them like second class.
in which case that might be true.... but then why did you only advertise on the day of the social in "couples seeking men" and not all of the different categories i.e "couples seeking couples", "couples seeking women" ect..... i am not having a go at you both personally, because i was within a hair's breath of asking to go myself.....but it was the little things like this that made me very wary rightly or wrongly of going, if thru reading the thread I was confused, i can only imagine i wasn't the only one..
I think this general conversation has been a long time in coming, but i am glad we are having it......just interested reading it all....
its good to talk (well type) lol. fab we did place an ad in a couple or 3 sections advertising the social not just couples seeking guys, but quite possible we had ads running in other sections not for that date so without deleting couldnt add anymore. , so couldnt put the ad in all sections at that time,mind you its upset a few peeps i placed an ad in the advert section as well as the forum (THIS APPEARS TO BE THE MAIN STUMBLING B-- LOCK) blimey they'd of had my guts 4 garters if i'd of put ads in all sections of the ads.
we've been swinging over 22 years now (albeit with 1 couple) and since joining the internet have been busy meeting people just over 5 years on a more widespread affair. our first internet meet took in a 400 mile round trip and was horrible meet to say the least, driving home we had to make a decision 1) shall we knock it on the head or 2) if any, build on the few positive things we gained and carry on, obviously we did the second option and 1 thing for sure it made us more "hardened" if thats the right word, so perhaps wrapping newcomers in cotton wool maybe the not correct thing to do, after all we try and tell our children do this do that but until they experience a mistake they dont fully our socials are for is for anyone including newcomers to feel at ease in a safe environment talking to likeminded point is because someones account says joined bla doesn't necessaraly mean there complete newbies.
Quote by little gem
As far as I am concerned these are the categories given...
Munch =
Non- sexual, no playing event in a sepparate room at a public venue ie the function room at a pub where every member is eligable subject to the discretion of the organiser (ie, posting count / registered time / chat user / ad user).
Is Site endorsed and no restrictions put upon people's stauts (ie couple / single etc...)
Expect over 100 people. Advertised through LMU forum and PM, possibly chat.
Mini munch =
As above except may not be in a sepparate area of the public place, ie just a corner of the pub instead of the prviate function room which is stated clearly to start with.
Expect less than 100 people. Advertised through LMU forum and PM, possibly chat.
Social =
Non -sexual, no playing event when the organiser takes the responsiblity for the guest list and so has more of a discretionary choice over the attendees. They have the right to refuse individuals as they so wish depending on the social being organised. (would you want someone you hated coming to you house for a BBQ?) House rules/ social rules given via PM with directional information.
Event and amount of people controlled more by the organiser and number of people may vary depending on the arrangements made. Advertised in LMU and through PM, possibly chat.
Party =
Sex party where it is clearly stated that sex is on the cards and there will be playing happening. If you wish to have the opportunity to watch, be watched or participate in activities of a sexual nature. Number of participants would vary with the venue, guest list and rules set by the organiser. May be advertised in LMU, PM and Adverts section, possibly chat.
Meet =
Sexual meeting where the people involved have the agreed opportunity to participate in sexual encounters of their agreed choice with the given amount of people made clear to all parties potentially involved.
May be advertised in LMU, PM and Adverts section, possibly chat.
Why have I written it so simply? Because it bloody well is that simple!
I think it is the responisibilty of the person(s) advertising the event to make clear what is an isnt expected behaviour wise.
Anyone who breaks clearly defined rules of the gathering be that sexual or non sexual, then the organising person(s) reserve the right to ask the rule breaker to leave.
Gem. x
yes its simply put but where we have gone "wrong" in some peeps eyes is advertising a social in the ads section, now all the add stated was were holding another social in derby for drinks and a chat all being welcomed NO venue details were given in the ad and once peeps applied i had the option to send them the details or not, in our mind anyone on swinging heaven has the right to be invited to a social be it wether they use the ads / chatroom or forum.
presumably ad users are paying members of s.h. and have the right to be invited to a social, experience may tell us there the biggest form of timewasters but surely we cant paint everyone in there with the same may of been chance the've adopted to use the ads section or even chatroom as opposed to the forum so why treat them like second class.
a social is just that, a social. in any language. surely socials are for the purpose of letting people meet likeminded people in a safe environment with no pressure to do anything else at that time and to evaluate if you would like to meet someone at a later date. be it at the end of the night or a month later.
there seems to be a common denominator appearing through this thread etc,that theres a divide between forum,/ ads and chatroom users,
its been mentioned people who use the ads section are ungenuine,people in the chatrooms are the quick shag bridgade and the people in the forum are the genuine swingers, perhaps a poll is needed to find if this is correct, surely you're not trying to impose an ads / a forum all swinging heaven has given us the 3 mediums to find what we are all searching for.
there seems to be a common denominator appearing through this thread etc,that theres a divide between forum,/ ads and chatroom users,
its been mentioned people who use the ads section are ungenuine,people in the chatrooms are the quick shag bridgade and the people in the forum are the genuine swingers, perhaps a poll is needed to find if this is correct, surely you're not trying to impose an ads / a forum all swinging heaven has given us the 3 mediums to find what we are all searching for.
this is getting like a catch 22 situation,you cant come to a social until you know someone, and you cant get to know someone without meeting first, i'm all for the admin team trying to protect newcomers etc,but surely its safer meeting in a vanilla public bar in a group situation rather than meeting someone in a dark laybye on your own.
Quote by dambuster
to save any further confusion i think easiest way forward maybe is for the mods / ops produce a proforma so if any one wants to hold a party / social / mini munch / munch could just pop up a proforma and add the relevant details like date and time, job done. then no one should misinterpret anything,
A proforma ?
Or a one time post of explanation in the help/terminology sections ?
Personally, I think there are too many variables to have a proforma.
on the contary because the venue is kept secret until last few days and then only mailed to pm's not via chatroom or forum people only need to know what sort of event it is, area, date and time, not that many is there?
to save any further confusion i think easiest way forward maybe is for the mods / ops produce a proforma so if any one wants to hold a party / social / mini munch / munch could just pop up a proforma and add the relevant details like date and time, job done. then no one should misinterpret anything,
ok, appreciate that but the ad was put up cos we kept getting mails from single peeps asking would they be made welcome to our social as they had read that couples where going to be ad was to put everyones mind at ease (and save my fingers typing) that anyone would be made welcome to our socials, thats all nothing more.
Quote by Shireen_Mids
in my mind there's a difference bewteen a 'social' and a mini munch
Only difference is the fact that non SH members can go to a social and they cant to a munch/mini munch
as there is between a social and pre fuckfest drinkies in a pub.
Social is no play pre fuckfest drinkies is still a social in my opinion as there would be no play again
I personally have a problem with something that's billed as a 'social' but the organiser has an ad running on the same day, in the ads section welcoming any single blokes, bi guys and TV's to come along to the social.
I have never seen that and the organiser should have a serious slap for doing it... That is not acceptable at all
But if the correct terminology was used and clarity given in the first posts, we wouldnt even need to, imo.
I haven't honestly seen a thread where is wasn't clearly set out from the beginning what the munch/social/party was all about....
as the quote about social in forum plus add running same day seems aimed at us, can you please confirm socials are only for couples ,as we 've not read that anywhere? so am confused why we can't invite single guys (as well as couples) whatever there sexual preference to a drinks only social meet with no promise of afters fun?
hi, any one wanna meet up tonight at a pub in derby 8pm ish, this is purely for a drink and chat, couples and singles welcome. please only mail for details if your free to cum. ie, if theres chance you may do overtime, or your grandmothers on her deathbed or the cats got a cold coming on please leave it till next time we advertise.
