i'mm gonna try and make this a small reply as i could write pages on this subject, but i won't. firstly it's natural to look at ones selve and ask that question is it us, answer NO after all the people who wanted to meet you have presumably seen pics chatted online and also spoke on phone etc so everyone should have a general feeling of how the meet should go with likes / dislikes etc.
so to keep this short i know its frustrating when you take swinging as serious as some of us do on here, when you've "saved" a part of your valuable time for others to join you only to be stood up starts you to think shall we give up on thing is change your game plan like us.
we won't plan too far in advance as we won't allow someone to "have hold "of our time only to be let down at last minute also we always have plan a b & c, ie if we're arranging for a meet at a location we always look for a swingers club close by so if the peeps are not there we have not had a wasted trip etc.
we can proudly say in 5 years of serious swinging we only ever let 1 guy down and when we eventually met him he accepted he was 50% to blame anyway.
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cockslut
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 68
Bisexual Male, 69
UK
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Quote by zanussi
For us it is purely the thrill of being watched. We have never had anyone join in and would not want to, the idea of having sex with complete strangers is just not for us. However Sally will on occasion help one or two well behaved guys out.
What puzzles us is in the years we have been doing this we have never yet encountered another couple happy to watch and be watched unless by prior arrangement. We see them obviously in other cars, but when we pull up close and put our courtesy light on they never reciprocate. As someone says in another thread: probably just us!
i think all that ettiquette about turning interior light on / off etc has gone outa the window, when we pull up and they see theres a female in car you get the 1 brave guy cum up to you then you get "swamped" by everyone else.
Quote by laybysex
It's like government stats. "90% of graduates get good jobs. Therefore we'll give everyone a degree so they can all get good jobs" - rather than jumping to the slightly more logical assumption that may be the graduates were motivated enough to go get a degree and hence more motivated to go get a good job.
So, here's my take:
10% of swingers are smokers. However, in a group situation of like minded people 90% of swingers smoke due primarily to 80% of the people thinking that if they're going to be kissing one of the 10% who are smokers they may as well try and disguise the ash tray taste by smoking themselves. The other 10% who are now the only non-smokers are voyeurs, they just like to watch people smoking.
Give me any stats, I'm sure I'll be able to come up with some perverse interpretation.
blimey i need an aspirin now lol.
Quote by little gem
Not specifically aimed at the author above me...
Devil's advocate time.
It's all well and good being best friends with the people you're swinging with, however whats happens when the sex isn't great and the swinging isn't really working out?
What happens when the other person falls in love with your partner? Or if the friendship gets a bit rocky over some other misunderstanding, posibly not even swinging related, but they still want you to shag them? Respect is sometimes thrown well out of the window in favour of convenience?
It's ok liking and getting on with people as a single cos if it goes tits up then you've only got yourself to think about... what about the couple thing... where one member of the partnership falls out with someone, how does that one work out on a swinging basis cos surely thats going to cause some kind of resentment?
Is it better not to get too close to those you're swinging with, getting potentially caught up in other people's issues, politics etc and therefore become a bit too involved? IS there such a thing as being too close in swinging? And if there is... where is line drawn? How do you know when the line's been crossed with the swinging and friendship thing? And more to the point... would you loose that 'friend' if you said you'd never have sex ever again? In which case.... is that real friendship or just a means to an end afterall?
If any of the above happened, how would you deal with it? I suppose the simple answer is if they were your friends, then they'd understand... but we all know things aren't as straight forward at times. People are complex and thats what makes us so interesting.
How about if you've not got the time to plough into speaking and doing the social thing due to other real life commitments? Or you simply don't need that mental connection thing... just to physically fancy the arse off someone in order to shag them?Gem. x
we're with you on this one little gem, we've got some great swinging friends who we haven't actually swung with fully only socially and we all feel it best it stays that way now. and on the other hand met people and played same day without getting to know there family/ politics/ work problems the moral is if you get too close to another couple allsorts can happen as you highlighted.
hubby used to splice music to early / foreign porn films in the 70's our favourite was "aint nothing like a gang bang by the sensational alex harvey band", at our last derby social once the d.j realised we was a swingers group the last record he played was called yogi bear, very good when you got naughty sexily dressed gals doing the actions to that 1.
why is it when someone advertises a meet in the forum the majority of people who seem to reply are the ones who "CAN'T " make it,or not into that particular "event" probably putting other peeps off replying. i don't think you make the person advertising feel any better by saying oh we can't come got something else planned or you wouldn't catch me doing that, do they find the time to reply to ads they have no intention of going to, wouldn't it be time well spent just replying to the events you want to attend?
firstly i've asked friends and work collegues about this but have found big brother is like "marmite" you either love it or hate it, so if they hate it no feedback comes if they love it they accept it, my problem is i've never watched it b4 (think it's cheap television programming) but trying to get into it this time but everytime i watch it the sound is either an aeroplane taking off or birds twittering, now if i wanted to listen to planes taking off i'd watch airport or go to local airport same with bird sounds i'd either watch a nature prog or go outdoors, so my complaint is why do we allow such cheap tv programmes and be cheated by not hearing what these people have to say, it seems to be the way forward with television programme makers so why don't people shout up about it b4 they put more crap on? would be interested in your opinions or even if you know the time to watch it where the dialog is transmitted.
Quote by DeviousLiasons
these figures are based on todays photo ads section where only:-
1) 33 ads for females seeking males
2) 44 ads for couples seeking males
3) 166 ads for couples seeking couples
4) 325 ads for males seeking couples
5) 378 ads for males seeking females
We think there are a few more ads than this... we make it
1) 2,168 ads for females seeking males
2) 5,806 ads for couples seeking males
3) 29,033 ads for couples seeking couples
4) 48,701 ads for males seeking couples
5) 76,714 ads for males seeking females
which kind of makes the site look a little busier!
Statistics can be used to show anything you want... our favourite one is.....
This site has 145,778 men with adverts.... so if you are one of them, you ave a one in 145,788 chance of being picked, this is the same as % chance.... over a year this will rise to %, in 25 years this will become %! This of course is based oon the number of single males advertising staying the same. At the current rate of growth, your chances start at % and rapidly decrease!
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
i sit corrected should of read pages of adverts but its still pro rata i guess>
obviously you want to visit a clean club and the staff should be friendly otherwise you wouldnt want to give them your hard earned cash, and having the right facilities (wet area etc) are all paramount to make a decent club, but it's the members who make a good club, a brilliant decorated good facilites club is only ok if you got the right mix of people went to 1 club on a sunday evening on a bi tv nght, there was only 11 people there, it was the best night we had had in a long time, so its not quantity its the right mix of people who are into what your into.
having read newcomers posts re not getting a shag straight away may like to digest these stats.
if you're a couple seeking a couple, theres not that many looking but if you find a couple in reasonable distance and age range (or whatever your criteria is) theres an 8 way calculation to do. ie, does couple 1 male like the other female does couple 1 fem like the other male, does couple 1 male want other male to pleasure his wife, does couple 1 fem want her husband pleasuring other wife and then same goes for couple no 2 which means the final decision has had to take 8 inputs.
if your a couple seeking a male this is only a 3way decision ie, does fem like the male does male like the fem and does hubby want his mrs pleasured by him so only a 3way input is required but alas only 44 ads in section so not many to choose from,
if you a couple seeking a bi guy then thats a 6 way input to get a decision
you may think the best bet is a single guy meeting a single girl easy 2 way input does she like you and vice versa but alas theres only 33 ads for single fem wanting a single guy and when you look at the 378 single guys ads looking for a single fem well says it all,
so b4 any more newcomers gets members backs up regarding i paid my monies wheres my quick "shag" read these stats again, it aint easy to find the right partners but when you do, appreciate them.
these figures are based on todays photo ads section where only:-
1) 33 ads for females seeking males
2) 44 ads for couples seeking males
3) 166 ads for couples seeking couples
4) 325 ads for males seeking couples
5) 378 ads for males seeking females
if you're a couple seeking a couple, theres not that many looking but if you find a couple in reasonable distance and age range (or whatever your criteria is) theres an 8 way calculation to do. ie, does couple 1 male like the other female does couple 1 fem like the other male, does couple 1 male want other male to pleasure his wife, does couple 1 fem want her husband pleasuring other wife and then same goes for couple no 2 which means the final decision has had to take 8 inputs.
if your a couple seeking a male this is only a 3way decision ie, does fem like the male does male like the fem and does hubby want his mrs pleasured by him so only a 3way input is required but alas only 44 ads in section so not many to choose from,
if you a couple seeking a bi guy then thats a 6 way input to get a decision
you may think the best bet is a single guy meeting a single girl easy 2 way input does she like you and vice versa but alas theres only 33 ads for single fem wanting a single guy and when you look at the 378 single guys ads looking for a single fem well says it all,
so b4 any more newcomers gets members backs up regarding i paid my monies wheres my quick "shag" read these stats again, it aint easy to find the right partners but when you do, appreciate them.
these figures are based on todays photo ads section where only:-
1) 33 ads for females seeking males
2) 44 ads for couples seeking males
3) 166 ads for couples seeking couples
4) 325 ads for males seeking couples
5) 378 ads for males seeking females
Quote by da69ve
The idea seemed a little weird.....not the social part of it but the black on white bit
can you clarify your point please about black on white, are you saying it shouldnt happen or simply stressing your not colour racist ?
Yes....i shall clarify the point.....a social should be open to all does it really matter what colour you are at all,how could you possibly even out the numbers if there wasn't enough of a certain colour to attend......no it shouldn't......if on the other hand someone was organising a party where they had arranged for a group of black guys to be in attendance and and you were a white female or couple who would like to attend to state the obvious "have sex".....then thats something totally different isn't it?......so have i clarifyed that better
..........because you seem to be the only one who didn't understand want i meant and if i had beeen offensive i'm sure the mods would have told me! i may be having a blonde moment or your a m.p.(lol) but you never answered my question, i was merely asking what's "weird" in your view with a black on white meet.
well you've put effort into your profile (unlike some) ,but your probably correct in your statement saying lots like to be associated with the swinging scene but when it comes to the actual meet / playing they are not as forth they will take up your valuable time in chatrooms , texts & phone calls but when it comes to the meet possibly having to put themselves out a little, the excuses come. if you look at any site and work on about 10% of the members are up for a real meet and 90% are happy doing "cyber meets".it should ease your mind and put an end to pulling ones hair out.
maybe read more forums and browse the chatrooms and you should get a better feel who's here for what and concentrate your efforts on them.
another way to meet peeps is pop along to a local munch and get noticed there,
anyway good luck in your search, it will happen, but don't expect it to happen right away.
maybe read more forums and browse the chatrooms and you should get a better feel who's here for what and concentrate your efforts on them.
another way to meet peeps is pop along to a local munch and get noticed there,
anyway good luck in your search, it will happen, but don't expect it to happen right away.
Quote by PoloLady
i've deleted the photo in question due to mixed messages etc. to be honest i did not know that one portrayed the topic i mentioned, unbelievable i know call it (blonde hair day) if you like. that'll teach me to vet my pics even closer, i usually just check for faces tattoos & my belly out of posting. lol.
I am sorry but that is so funny.
it's our pleasure to of brought a smile to your
i've deleted the photo in question due to mixed messages etc. to be honest i did not know that one portrayed the topic i mentioned, unbelievable i know call it (blonde hair day) if you like. that'll teach me to vet my pics even closer, i usually just check for faces tattoos & my belly out of posting. lol.
Quote by H-x
hhhhmph...................
no-no's.....................
nope, sory, can't help you.
H.x
well your ad has 4 no-no's on it for a just being picky lol
Very true, well spotted.
More of a vetting process than a list of 'this aint allowed' though. Bit like an all day ticket to a theme park, if you fit the criteria, you can do whatever you like once you're in.
H.x
nice explanation. prob my luck the guys who tried it on me were bull at a gate type, and thus put me off it, as if i'm gonna try it i want to feel the pleasure of tickets please.
