darkcider's Profile

Forum Virgin

18 Feb 2007

Quote by blueandpink
Hi DC and :welcome:
When we started we decided to start with only foursomes, for the following reasons:
a no one was feeling left out
b we both saw each other with other people at the same time
b less likelihood of the 'third party' coming between us
As it happens we were absolutely fine, seeing each other with other people (phwooaarrr ) but we were cautious because we had thought exactly the same as you before when we were researching whether swinging was for us.
Ultimately as long as you two are secure if you meet the third party that isn't and starts causing problems then that's their problem, not yours. We always agree if anyone (be it a third party or couple) is getting in between then we walk away. Hasn't happened yet though
pink x

Hi Pink,
Thanks for the welcome!
I guess the foursome thing does make sense, although my fantasy is to see R having more fun. I guess I could get used to the extra attention though! We won't know until we've tried it, so I need to pick the moment to talk to R some more.
Now I think about it, the idea of a foursome is, um, growing on me...
Thanks again,
DC

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darkcider

Forum Virgin

15 Feb 2007

I read all this with interest, as my wife (R) and I have fantasized about exactly this (specifically mmf) many times, but we are yet to take the big plunge into the swinging world.
I think that the fear of what could go wrong is what keeps it at the fantasy level - I'm confident that we are secure enough in our relationship to play, but it's a very big step to go from private fantasy in the bedroom to acting it out with a third party.
It's also pretty clear that R would love to play, but I don't know how to get from where we are now to the reality. I guess the first step is signing up to a swingers site and talking about it - we'll see how it goes!
The original post asks whether 3sums can ruin a relationship. My feeling on this is that it must be a security thing.
If the couple are seccure in their relationship and with themselves then the third person becomes a guest at the party, but if the couple are insecure then there is a possibility, maybe even a liklihood, of jealousy creeping in, followed by a host of other problems.
I guess also the motivation for wanting the threesome is a factor - do you want it so your partner can have even more fun? Or is there another motive that won't surface until after the event? In which case, you'd better be careful...
DC

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