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delsutton
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 56
0 miles · Greater London
Forum
Quote by freckledbird
Jokes aren't a no-no, but the thread doesn't need to run because it's just a joke. This moaning thread is just because you had a joke thread locked earlier. This thread will undoubtedly be locked because it's a whine. Get over it. If you don't like them being locked, don't post them.
I don't mind a thread being locked per se, it's just that, as a relative new comer to this forum, and having read the AUP, I couldn't see anything that specifically stated that threads would be locked. Having seen that mine and others were locked without explanation I was just curious as to why this might be the case.
Maybe this needs clarifying on the AUP page?
Quote by Italeo
Jeez stop bloody moaningYou obviously know that this thread is a dead end and will be locked, so why bother? As for the jokes, it's a pain in the bum when the page is full of new threads which are just a joke. Go tell your jokes to people, not on here.
Isn't the cafe the place for telling stuff? We'd all be in the pub otherwise???
I thought so too. Maybe the Mods need to be more specific on the areas that are acceptable for posting. That's all I'm trying to clarify. If jokes are a No-No then tell us and I'll stop for sure.
Quote by Italeo
I think the theory behind locking jokes is that once someone's read it, what more needs to be said.....
I argued (sorry debated....) that it would be nice to know who found it funny or not....
But what do I know:
You may be right.I can only assume that if that is the case, there are issues concerning bandwidth and disk space. Is this the case? I know lots of us are "free" members and it obviously costs money to host a site like this and lots of disk space might be wasted on "dead topics" but it would be good to know in advance. As you say it it always good to get feedback.
Quote by marriedmale
Maybe if you wanted to be a bit more risque, you could have chosen an unappropriate title for the thread ?
Ah, but that would have been too obvious and would have been pounced on rapidly, but fun neverthesles, I'm sure :twisted: .
However, I really am curious as to the policies of the mods.
What is it about certain topics getting locked? It seems very arbitrary a lot of the time as it's not as if the subjects I've seen locked contravene the AUP on the face of it, otherwise I guess they'd be deleted. Any mods got an answer to this as it would help those who are regular posters in the Cafe section (which I thought was more-or-less a free area) to avoid certain subjects?
Quote by asiandelight007
Hi everyone,
If there is actually anyone out there. The longer I've been on this site the more I think that no real people actually use it. I have recieved only one reply, from a couple, where the women wanted to be wined and dined and taken on holiday, in return for possible sex. Nothing more than a glorified prostitute in my eyes.
This is a swingers site yes, then where are all the swingers. Hardly anybody contacts anyone, everyone out there who does swing has formed small groups and doesn't want to give it up, I mean what is going on? Being a member on this site is a total waste of money. I could have given that money to charity. Instead I log on and all I ever see is the same people who never reply or contact. Surely there must be a lot of other people in my position. It would be nice to hear from some of those people.
And if your wondering I'm not a 60 year old ogre. I am a 28 year old, good looking doctor, who has just got out of a very long term relationship, and just wants to have a bit of fun, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
So come on. Any people out there that think this site is a total waste of money, give me a reply, i somehow doubt that there are over 400,000 members on this site, what a load of bollocks. If enough people contact me then, I will challenge this sites user stats, which are most likely made up and making someone very rich indeed.
On the other hand, if you are a good looking female or couple up for fun, then give me a shout and I might have to take all the above back.
Either way I think I have a better chance of having sex at a funeral than I have on this site. YOUR LOSS.
I'm not real and I'm not a prostitute either, but then I may not be human so that probably doesn't explain things sufficiently, possibly
Quote by easyease
who was st valentine anyway? its like christmas, hardly anyone actually knows the original meaning of it.
i know the romans used to celebrate feb 14th to honour their god juno........so whats st valentine got to do with it?
i reckon its humbug to, but im unloved so im bound to say
According to my sources, Valentine's Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honour Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.
The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.
Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honour of a god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.
The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavoured to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine's Day for the celebration of this new feaSt. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way. So, now you know!
Quote by byron
The Great Man .....was ahead of his time thats for sure especially with racial issue's of the time......i would say he was abit of an idealist!!
So as anyone discovered Dilithium Crystals yet?
I agree - in fact, Gene Roddenberry was a visionary genius, it's such a shame that The Next Generationwas more concerned with political correctness than with being bloody good Sci-Fi
I liked the NG, and as for being PC, it's true but I'd imagine the original was just a voicepiece for its era as well. It's hard to imagine the original is over 40 years old! And looking at it now, William Shatner is such a crap actor, but it's great to watch!
A friend forwarded this to me earlier:-
------------------------------------------------
ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a little girl named Goldichav. One day, she went for a walk in the woods at the back of Shopping Centre and after a few minutes, and for no good reason, started hurling abuse at an old lady through a stolen traffic cone. Pretty soon, she came upon a house. She listened for any sign of life but when she didn't hear anything, she got out a spray can and daubed "tossa" on the wall, then kicked the door in.Â
At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldichav was hungry. She tasted the porridge from the first bowl.Â
"Fuckin' 'ell, dis porridge is propa hot!" she exclaimed.
So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.
"Dis porridge is too fuckin' cold. If da next wun is shi' I'm off to McDonalds," she said
So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.
"Wicked, dis porridge is propa good like," she said happily and she ate it all up.
After she'd eaten she decided she was feeling a little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. Goldichav sat in the first chair to rest her feet.  Â
"Dis chair is too fuckin' big! Ma bootie ain't resting 'ere" she exclaimed.
So she sat in the second chair.
"Dis chair is too big too, wha' ar' dese wankas like?"Â she whined.
So she tried the last and smallest chair.
"Ehh, wikked innit, dis chair is just quali'ee," she sighed. But just as she settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!
Goldichav was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Goldichav fell asleep.
As she was sleeping, the Three Thugs came home.Â
"Some cunt's been eating my porridge," growled Daddy thug.
"Mine too and I ain't happy about it," said Mummy thug.
"Someone's been eating my porridge and they scoffed the lot!" cried Baby thug.
They went into the living room.
"Some cunt's been sitting in my chair," growled Daddy thug.
"Mine too and I ain't happy about it," said Mummy thug.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair and it's completely fucked," cried Baby thug.
They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Daddy thug growled, "Some cunt's been sleeping in my bed."
"Mine too and I ain't happy about it," said Mummy thug
"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there. Harm her!" exclaimed Baby thug.
Just then, Goldichav woke up and saw the three thugs. She screamed, "Shup u cheekee basterds, this like propa 'arrassment! Missy G's not 'angin' round 'ere no more ta take dis shi'." And with that she jumped up and ran out of the room, but one of her white stillettos broke and she fell over.Â
The three thugs caught up with her and beat the living daylights out of her before pilfering her can of White Lightening, La Coste track suit bottoms and Argos gold hoop earrings which they sold in the local hostelry for the princely sum of £3.
But Goldichav had the last laugh, for just as the Three Thugs were enjoying themselves in the tavern, she persuaded all her friends to turn up at the house and urinate and defecate all over the beds and in the container which held the Thugs porridge oats.
THE END
------------------------------------------------
ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a little girl named Goldichav. One day, she went for a walk in the woods at the back of Shopping Centre and after a few minutes, and for no good reason, started hurling abuse at an old lady through a stolen traffic cone. Pretty soon, she came upon a house. She listened for any sign of life but when she didn't hear anything, she got out a spray can and daubed "tossa" on the wall, then kicked the door in.Â
At the table in the kitchen, there were three bowls of porridge. Goldichav was hungry. She tasted the porridge from the first bowl.Â
"Fuckin' 'ell, dis porridge is propa hot!" she exclaimed.
So, she tasted the porridge from the second bowl.
"Dis porridge is too fuckin' cold. If da next wun is shi' I'm off to McDonalds," she said
So, she tasted the last bowl of porridge.
"Wicked, dis porridge is propa good like," she said happily and she ate it all up.
After she'd eaten she decided she was feeling a little tired. So, she walked into the living room where she saw three chairs. Goldichav sat in the first chair to rest her feet.  Â
"Dis chair is too fuckin' big! Ma bootie ain't resting 'ere" she exclaimed.
So she sat in the second chair.
"Dis chair is too big too, wha' ar' dese wankas like?"Â she whined.
So she tried the last and smallest chair.
"Ehh, wikked innit, dis chair is just quali'ee," she sighed. But just as she settled down into the chair to rest, it broke into pieces!
Goldichav was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Goldichav fell asleep.
As she was sleeping, the Three Thugs came home.Â
"Some cunt's been eating my porridge," growled Daddy thug.
"Mine too and I ain't happy about it," said Mummy thug.
"Someone's been eating my porridge and they scoffed the lot!" cried Baby thug.
They went into the living room.
"Some cunt's been sitting in my chair," growled Daddy thug.
"Mine too and I ain't happy about it," said Mummy thug.
"Someone's been sitting in my chair and it's completely fucked," cried Baby thug.
They decided to look around some more and when they got upstairs to the bedroom, Daddy thug growled, "Some cunt's been sleeping in my bed."
"Mine too and I ain't happy about it," said Mummy thug
"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there. Harm her!" exclaimed Baby thug.
Just then, Goldichav woke up and saw the three thugs. She screamed, "Shup u cheekee basterds, this like propa 'arrassment! Missy G's not 'angin' round 'ere no more ta take dis shi'." And with that she jumped up and ran out of the room, but one of her white stillettos broke and she fell over.Â
The three thugs caught up with her and beat the living daylights out of her before pilfering her can of White Lightening, La Coste track suit bottoms and Argos gold hoop earrings which they sold in the local hostelry for the princely sum of £3.
But Goldichav had the last laugh, for just as the Three Thugs were enjoying themselves in the tavern, she persuaded all her friends to turn up at the house and urinate and defecate all over the beds and in the container which held the Thugs porridge oats.
THE END
My local own centre is also a haven for the collectors, but worse, the market reseach people! They line up across the street every day and accost me on a regular basis. A polite "I'm trying to give them up" usually elicits a smile and they melt away.
One great way to get rid of them and have a bit of fun at the same time is the following. The first time I tried this was in Oxford Street when I was approached quite vigourously by a charity clip-boarder. I spotted him in time and speeded up my walking, looking over my shoulder as I approached him. As we met he started his spiel but I cut into it with "Sorry mate, but I think I'm being followed by a guy in a red leather jacket", quickly looking over my shoulder again. Then I piped up with "Shit there he is" then started marching quickly on. I glanced around after a few paces and the collector was rooted to the spot frantically trying to look for a some guy wearing a red jacket. Works every time!
One great way to get rid of them and have a bit of fun at the same time is the following. The first time I tried this was in Oxford Street when I was approached quite vigourously by a charity clip-boarder. I spotted him in time and speeded up my walking, looking over my shoulder as I approached him. As we met he started his spiel but I cut into it with "Sorry mate, but I think I'm being followed by a guy in a red leather jacket", quickly looking over my shoulder again. Then I piped up with "Shit there he is" then started marching quickly on. I glanced around after a few paces and the collector was rooted to the spot frantically trying to look for a some guy wearing a red jacket. Works every time!
Quote by dambuster
That's a curious statement. Do you mean "post ads to hook up" - in the photo ads section of the site, and include the threads/posts in the LMU forum ?
I'm curious because either way, by your definition; that would make me a lurker in the background - so to speak.
I notice your joined date as being at the end of December. To me, the joined date information is now worthless, to the point of being mis-information; but I'm posting as though you have recently joined the site.
hlb sort of answered about meeting people in the thread, so I won't repeat her.
But I think what sometimes need to be borne in mind is that the site - pre 4 tops - had a very active and vibrant "social" aspect to it.
Many, many "meets" resulted from that social aspect. Indeed - 100% of mine, as a then swingle; resulted from neither the photo ads or a LMU "meet" post.
I think they were all as a result of being known around the place and being met at the various social events.
My ego would also say that a couple came from personal recommendations
Just my thoughts.
:welcome: to the asylum, delsutton
:thumbup:
Cheers and am enjoying the SH asylum to date!
I guess I am referring to the photo ads and you're right, I am a relative newcomer so it's just inital impressions I suppose. It does seem to me that there's a huge gulf between the forum and the photo ads section, in fact I'd almost say they were inhabited by separate communiities but I'm sure that's not entirely so. And I'm not wishing to cast aspersions on those that lurk or even those that I inadvertently categorise as such... many apologies
This area (the forums) does seem to have a distinctly sociable feel to it and it would appear that trust and acceptance is gained through regular interaction, whereas the ads section is the "market meat" side of things.
Well, I'll have to hang around a bit longer to see how the social side of things develops.
Quote by Pete_sw
I am, as said also very tactile, I can feel the slightes breath of air on any part of my body, also very sensual.
l
That has triggered a memory from a couple of years ago and will definitely take a sober female response to make any sense of it.
I was at a resort run by a fairly well known beach holiday company and after wrenching my back trying water-skiing had a couple of back massage sessions to ease the pain with the resident therapist (who was female).
The first one was uneventful and was very beneficial for my torn muscles but the second one seemed different (or at least I thought so) in so much as she commented how well toned my back was and I could feel her breath on my back and shoulders quite a lot. It was quite erotic but at the time I dismissed it as accidental. I've thought of this event from time to time as perhaps a missed opportunity but perhaps I'm totally wrong.
Maybe as my predicament had altered for the better since the first one I was more relaxed and just noticed it more, or this really was a different type of session I'll never know. It would be curious to get reactions.
As a creative type, I've always been very visual from both a "normal" and a sexual point of view. (Yes, that means Im very happy to be a voyeur if needs be and sometimes it's a pleasurable choice).
Notwithstanding that, I love also turning on and being turned on in an atmosphere of soft lighting and sensual massages and sexy discussions (blindfolded on one occasion
).
The visual aspect is, nevertheless, very predominant in me and am wondering if others respond the same way (especially women, as it seems men are pre-programmed this way) and how important it is.
A female artist friend of mine once said that to her sex was, in her mind, like a Van Gogh painting, but combining the luridness of de Sade and the sensuality of Rudolph Valentino.
For me, I would say that sex for me is 50% visualisation, 40% a sharing of fantasies and aspirations and intimacy, and the remainder a mix of mood, state of mind and a host of completely unidentifiable parameters!
Notwithstanding that, I love also turning on and being turned on in an atmosphere of soft lighting and sensual massages and sexy discussions (blindfolded on one occasion
).The visual aspect is, nevertheless, very predominant in me and am wondering if others respond the same way (especially women, as it seems men are pre-programmed this way) and how important it is.
A female artist friend of mine once said that to her sex was, in her mind, like a Van Gogh painting, but combining the luridness of de Sade and the sensuality of Rudolph Valentino.
For me, I would say that sex for me is 50% visualisation, 40% a sharing of fantasies and aspirations and intimacy, and the remainder a mix of mood, state of mind and a host of completely unidentifiable parameters!
Quote by constance
I have also advertised as a couple and received far ,far fewer replies.
...
This may be a swinging site but the effect it has on peoples lives is far beyond the sexual
1. That's curious. Do you think that's because a lot of guys don't like the idea of being around other guys in a sexual scenario, or due to something else that I can't think of!?
2. I can imagine that is absolutely true and what I would like to think I could get out of it eventually.
1. Well you tell me your a guy!! But maybe it has something to do with the fact that there are a lot more couples advertising on here than single females, supply and demand?
2. Beware, they creap up on you like hunters in the night, and before you know where you are they are cooking you meals and your offering to wash up!!!!
*lol* maybe you're right. Mind you, if, given the number of couples apparently looking for bi-females, I would have thought the difference would have been minimal.
Offering to do my washing up isn't a problem... creeeeeeping up on me is another matter!!
Quote by constance
I have also advertised as a couple and received far ,far fewer replies.
...
This may be a swinging site but the effect it has on peoples lives is far beyond the sexual
1. That's curious. Do you think that's because a lot of guys don't like the idea of being around other guys in a sexual scenario, or due to something else that I can't think of!?
2. I can imagine that is absolutely true and what I would like to think I could get out of it eventually.
Quote by Velvet Lips
I have met with 3 people off this site, all good experiences and 2 of them are still good friends, an added bonus !
That is so cool. It seems to me that a lot of people hang around to try to get a quick shag, whereas I personally am not interested in that. I would love to make some friends that share the same sexual attitudes and interests, so Velvet, more power to you and major jealously ***lol***
