I wish I was 39 again, it was that long ago I can hardly remember it.
Have lots of fun, next year you'll be 38, after that 37 and so on
Harry0
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harry0
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 82
0 miles · County Durham
Forum
Orgasminator
Davej wrote:
Lol Davej,
I can't afford to go to Matalan, I even stand out as 'furtive' in a charity shop.
Harry0
Harry0 you may be right, but if you were gonna cut and paste someone elses wouldnt you be a bit more selective, after all if you are gonna shoplift would you chose to do so in Matalan.
Lol Davej,
I can't afford to go to Matalan, I even stand out as 'furtive' in a charity shop.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Quote by davej
I may be being a bit suspicious - but aren't you also 'male_sex_trainee'?
the answer is either yep or its the freakiest coincidence we have ever seen
The heading 'post' could of course, be from an identical twin,
I don't think. I'ts more likely to be the same lad, but, it could be someone else who cut and pasted the add from 'male_sex_trainee, because it was easier to do than think up something new.
:twisted:
Harry0
The oldest swinger in any town.
Orgasminator
Quote by corrie
Peoples first impression of me is that I am scary because I come over very confident and in control but thats an impression thats taken years to perfect for protection. Can put men off but not alll men ...........
You didn't put me off Corrie last time we met, I think your gorgeous. So there.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Quote by MrFC
I thought it my duty to warn you all of an internet site that has everybody's passport details.
Click on the link
click
I found this very worrying as I found my details on here.
The best April Fool I have seen this year.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Well done MrFC.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Bum deal there Fred,
However I have a suggestion as to a new name: How about
The Victorian Ladies Socierty for the emancipation of Women. or abbreviated to the VLS
If such a society existed, surely all it's members will have been dead ages. :twisted:
Just a thought.
Harry0
However I have a suggestion as to a new name: How about
The Victorian Ladies Socierty for the emancipation of Women. or abbreviated to the VLS
If such a society existed, surely all it's members will have been dead ages. :twisted:
Just a thought.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Nice one, I got 2, possibly 3, correct.
The answer to Q2 is not in fact given. It could be you are in the lead, having lapped the last person? Possible? It does at least answer your question.
I thought I was good at mental arithmatic, no matter how many times I did it in my head I came up with 5000. Writing it down and adding it up, and, using a calculator to double check the answer. 4100 was the correct total. But I don't understand WHY.
Harry0
I must have caught 'a moment' from that Blonde I saw last night. :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
The answer to Q2 is not in fact given. It could be you are in the lead, having lapped the last person? Possible? It does at least answer your question.
I thought I was good at mental arithmatic, no matter how many times I did it in my head I came up with 5000. Writing it down and adding it up, and, using a calculator to double check the answer. 4100 was the correct total. But I don't understand WHY.
Harry0
I must have caught 'a moment' from that Blonde I saw last night.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Orgasminator
Quote by RedHot
In these days of politically correct Britain under President Blair where you can be Scottish, Welsh, Irish or any other nationallity except English, do you think the profile of St. George's Day should be raised and celebrated as a national day?
St. George's Day is on April 23rd, so, in a sense, this is England's national day. However, unlike other countries, England does not have celebration to mark this occasion.
We have the ridiculous situation where the Irish national day (St Patrick's Day) is celebrated and pubs are allowed extensions to their opening hours, when extensions have been refused for St. George's Day because it is stated to be of not enough importance :!:
How many of you will be flying the Cross of St. George and wearing a red rose on the 23rd April?
Bugger President Blair,
If the Scots, Welsh and Irish can have their national days so can we. It's about time we kicked up and said so. I will be flying the Cross of on the 23rd. Despite an edict from the local council that prohibits it. I won't however, be wearing a red rose, not since Blair and his henchmen adopted it as a Labour emblem.
Harry0
My family have been Engish since the 9thC. Not many people know that.
Orgasminator
Quote by NWguy
Hi everyone!
My name is John and I have never ever had a go at anything like this! First off I have to admit I am one of millions, yes I am afraid I am a 'Men Seeking Women' clicker....I apologise for my lack of originality. However, as expierience is gained....who knows?
Anyway, I am not having much luck. I have emailed some ladies and complied with their wishes, be it pic of face, no one-liner!, information or 'no cock pic'!lol. It just seems strange...I am handsome(not just according to my mum....my gran said I am too), tall, athletic, intelligent(well meant to be, according to letters after my name but who hasnt got those in Tony Blairs-everybody-gets a degree-society.....oooo political!!!) and most importantly an easy going sort of guy. Nobody wants me though! :cry:
Anyway after my little moan is there anyone out there that can offer some tips/advice? I would like to get the ball rolling while I am still in my 20s!(23 now) Well thanks for any help...and please go easy on me!
Thanks
J
Welcome NWguy,
You appear (at least from some of your comments) to have read some of The Forum Pages, take some time to read a good many more, there's lots of good advice for newbies.
I'm glad you realise that your outnumbered in the Men Seeking Women field. The current ratio on this site is 36males to 1 female. Despite that your mother and grandmother say about your being 'handsome', a good personality and a sense of humour is more important.
Many of the members have letters after their name, i.e. BSc, MSc, PhD, LLD etc, but a greater number have P.R.A.T. after them, reading some of the posts will reveal all.
At 23 you are at the bottom of the age range in here, most swingers are people in the 35+ age range. You may have realised that this is not a site where a 'Shag me tonight' advert will get you anything, but ignored, I hope so. It's a long hard road to success in here.
I'm not trying to put you off, but you will have to work very hard indeed to get even a single reply to any advert you place. Be prepared to travel, it's seldom a contact is just around the corner, they're more likely to be a couple of hundred miles away. It's all part of the fun.
You will have to be persistant, and very patient to get anywhere.
Best of luck.
Harry0
'What's a few injuns against the might of the 7th Cavalry, Oops'.
George Armstrong Custer. Little Big Horn. 1876.
Orgasminator
Quote by Nezaroo
Hi Nezaroo,
Welcome to Swinging Heaven. Be prepared for the put downs, jokes and mickey takes.
It's good fun in here if you can stand it. :grin:
:grin: Harry0.
It's much more fun being on the winning side.
George Armstrong Custer. 1829-1876.
Orgasminator
One side will win, one side will loose, unless it's a draw. No matter who wins or looses the Referee will get the blame. It's never ever the fault of those brainless, overpaid, publicity seeking prats, who call themselves players.
Win or loose, some fans will get pissed as newts afterwards, and probably cause a riot. Several arrests will be made, and no doubt a few supporters will be banned from attending any further matches.
I'd rather watch paint dry. :roll:
As you may gather, I'm not a football fan.
Harry0
Win or loose, some fans will get pissed as newts afterwards, and probably cause a riot. Several arrests will be made, and no doubt a few supporters will be banned from attending any further matches.
I'd rather watch paint dry.
:roll: As you may gather, I'm not a football fan.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Quote by VenusnMars
BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
THE SUN IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I`m gonna spring clean, maybe paint a room, build an extension on the back of the house with twigs, and convert the loft, and, and run round the street naked with a daffodil up my bum :thrilled::
And we have Zoolander in video wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
/runs round manically giggling :inlove: :thrilled: :rose: :happy: :bounce: :silly: :mrgreen: :swingingchair: :evil2:
Venus
Just be careful where you go Venus, some 25 years ago I saw a naked female in her 30's walking around the west end of Newcastle upon Tyne, handing out Daffodils to everyone she passed in the street. Is far as I am aware, they haven't let her out of the mental hospital yet.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Quote by EmmaPeel
I am I being synical here, is this an underhand way of getting lady members to help him out?
I would suggest you have a word with your 'Boss' Archangel, he may be able to provide a miracle. :twisted:
A Chinese friend of mine is very happy when 'erections' come around, he never had the vote before he came here.
Harry0
You wicked man, Harry!!!!!!!
:roll: :roll: :roll:Humble apologies Mrs Peel, but I thought a little humour injected into the thread may relieve the situation somewhat.
Archangel, if Viagra and Uprima don't work, try stretching it and then give it a good going over with spray starch. Warning, don't have the iron too hot when running it over your penis. It can bring tears to your eyes. :twisted:
Harry0
Ladies, if you fancy something completely different,
look at add, no. 55283.
Orgasminator
It caused me no little amazement to find that some males speak that way at all. Chat lines like that sent to Heather get what they deserve. I.e. NOTHING.
I may be 'old fashioned', or 'a romantic', but I firmly believe that being polite, gentile and kind, works wonders, when asking for a date or a meeting. Having succeeded in getting a meeting arranged, I would try and ascertain those flowers, wine and/or chocolates the lady preferred, and would endeavour to supply these on arrival.
The rude and crude approach may work with one or two women, but I would bet that even they, would prefer a more gentile approach.
To Heather, I would suggest she simply replied. 'Call me again in 1000 years time, your attitude needs some attention'
Harry0
I may be old, I may be ugly, but I am polite to ladies.
I may be 'old fashioned', or 'a romantic', but I firmly believe that being polite, gentile and kind, works wonders, when asking for a date or a meeting. Having succeeded in getting a meeting arranged, I would try and ascertain those flowers, wine and/or chocolates the lady preferred, and would endeavour to supply these on arrival.
The rude and crude approach may work with one or two women, but I would bet that even they, would prefer a more gentile approach.
To Heather, I would suggest she simply replied. 'Call me again in 1000 years time, your attitude needs some attention'
Harry0
I may be old, I may be ugly, but I am polite to ladies.
Orgasminator
I am I being synical here, is this an underhand way of getting lady members to help him out?
I would suggest you have a word with your 'Boss' Archangel, he may be able to provide a miracle. :twisted:
A Chinese friend of mine is very happy when 'erections' come around, he never had the vote before he came here. :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Harry0
I would suggest you have a word with your 'Boss' Archangel, he may be able to provide a miracle. :twisted:
A Chinese friend of mine is very happy when 'erections' come around, he never had the vote before he came here.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Harry0
Orgasminator
Everyone has different sleep requirements. The younger a person is, the more sleep they tend to require. As a person ages, the less sleep they seem to need.
(No comments please from you SteveG_NW about me only needing 5 minutes sleep at my age).
Personally I have little choice, I have a Boxer bitch who seems to think that humans need to get up at the crack of dawn. Consequently this morning she was jumping all over me and licking my face at I got up, let her out into the garden for a pee. I made myself a cup of salvation, and when I returned to the living room she was lying on the three seater dog bed (most people call it a settee) snoring her head off, and didn't budge until when she woke up for breakfast.
Once I am awake, I cannot get get back to sleep, so I sit in front of the computer reading the posts. It's one way of keeping up to date I suppose. The disadvantage is, it puts up my heatings bills.
Harry0
(No comments please from you SteveG_NW about me only needing 5 minutes sleep at my age).
Personally I have little choice, I have a Boxer bitch who seems to think that humans need to get up at the crack of dawn. Consequently this morning she was jumping all over me and licking my face at I got up, let her out into the garden for a pee. I made myself a cup of salvation, and when I returned to the living room she was lying on the three seater dog bed (most people call it a settee) snoring her head off, and didn't budge until when she woke up for breakfast.
Once I am awake, I cannot get get back to sleep, so I sit in front of the computer reading the posts. It's one way of keeping up to date I suppose. The disadvantage is, it puts up my heatings bills.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Navigator wrote:
Hello again navigator,
Your not alone in having problems in accessing the chatroom, several dozen people have had similar problems.
Basically there are two methods, using the Java link or by downloading Mirc and entering through that.
Using either you will have to register your nickname with Starchat in order to gain access. The chatroom will be registered 'nickname' only access in the next week or so.
I don't know if you have had previous chatroom experience or if you have access to Mirc as you didn't say. I would advise to go to the Chatroom main page and print out all the instructions, including the dummies guide and any little 'how to's. Read these very carefully and then follow the instructions to the letter. All entries made must be absolutely correct in that you have to have the / , spacing, upper or lower case letters must also be folowed where shown.
There is a 'Stickey' at the top of the Cafe page which also offers advice.
Give it another go, you'll get there eventually.
Harry0
I have roaming around the site chatting to people but seem to be having problems getting onto the chatroom, I followed the instructions but do not seem to be in the chatroom for this site .
Hello again navigator,
Your not alone in having problems in accessing the chatroom, several dozen people have had similar problems.
Basically there are two methods, using the Java link or by downloading Mirc and entering through that.
Using either you will have to register your nickname with Starchat in order to gain access. The chatroom will be registered 'nickname' only access in the next week or so.
I don't know if you have had previous chatroom experience or if you have access to Mirc as you didn't say. I would advise to go to the Chatroom main page and print out all the instructions, including the dummies guide and any little 'how to's. Read these very carefully and then follow the instructions to the letter. All entries made must be absolutely correct in that you have to have the / , spacing, upper or lower case letters must also be folowed where shown.
There is a 'Stickey' at the top of the Cafe page which also offers advice.
Give it another go, you'll get there eventually.
Harry0
Orgasminator
Quote by navigator
hi there folks, I feel that it is a little bit off that new members are not to b informed about the meet that is the reason ppl join sites like this to get involved in what is a great way of meeting new friends and sharing dreams with one another. I personally will be here for the duration and am hoping that I will be made very welcome by all the other members of this site.I for one will be planning on joining in if invited no matter how much travelling is to undertaken and am hoping people will read this and respond.
PLEASE KEEP ME IN TOUCH
many thanx people
the navigator
Hello Navigator,
Welcome to the wonderful world of Swinging Heaven. As a newbie you may not be aware of the amount of adverse publicity that Swinging and Dogging has had in the media, not only the press, but on radio and television. This has brought a lot of wannabees to this site, who think they can join, and get laid the same day.
It doesn't work like that at all. Have a read through the posts over the past month or so and you will see that both the Moderators in The Forum and the SyOps in the chatroom have been run off their feet with some of the dregs of humanity who have appeared in here recently.
Munches are arranged in various parts of the U/K simply for members to get to know each other on a more personal basis than you can get in the Forum or Chatroom. These Munches are purely social meetings, not orgies. The precise location of them is kept secret until the day before the event and those who are known, either through their posts or the chatroom, get invited by the organiser and are informed of the location by private message. The whole aim of doing this is to keep the media ignorant of the location. Very few members would want their pictures to appear in the gutter press, where their workmates, family or children may see them.
Several members of the media have posted here as have some Police Officers, and there is little doubt that this site is scrutinised by the 'press' looking for some information that will give them a scoop. All newbies have to become accepted members first before they will get an invitation to a Munch.
I realise that may lead to to be disappointed on possibly not being invited to the Edinburgh
Munch but these is a recent addition to Swinging Heaven's pastimes. The first one was only held last year. They are very popular, so it will not be long before another is held.
Get yourself known in both the Forum and Chatroom (read the chatroom Rules first, they are rigidly enforced) after a while, you will become accepted if you show you are genuine.
Harry0
Here endeth the first lesson.
Orgasminator
Well it looks like you have survived your baptism of fire VenusnMars. Welcome to the zany, crazy world of Swinging Heaven.
There are many sensible people on this site, it's just that they go crackers after a while.
Straight Jackets are available from the management free of charge.
Harry0
The oldest swinger in any town.
There are many sensible people on this site, it's just that they go crackers after a while.
Straight Jackets are available from the management free of charge.
Harry0
The oldest swinger in any town.
Orgasminator
Quote by fem_4_taboo
hey i live in cornwall im sure theres a book written about the lizards peninsula.
many people far and wide come just to look at its beauty
Heh, heh fem_4_taboo,
The Lizard Peninsular is a beautiful place, but, I'm not sure I would like to look at Kinky Lizards personal Peninsular, especially if it remotely resembles his avitar.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Harry0
Orgasminator
Kinky Lizard wrote:
I couldn't agree more Lizard, it works for me.
Kinky Lizard also wrote:
A bit like 'Fly Fishing' by in the Yellow Pages Adverts. :lol:
Funnily enough a book by that name did appear after those adverts ceased and it became a best seller. There might be a moral in there. Lizard.
Harry0
Ladies, please read my add no 55283. It might interest you.
Without a doubt, the one thing that comes across the most, is that women like to have their mind stimulated long before they find out how large the lunch box is. Leave that bit to their imagination. It’s the tease and the flirting that gets the best results.
I couldn't agree more Lizard, it works for me.
Kinky Lizard also wrote:
My book: “Lizard on love and life†is available in all good book shops.
A bit like 'Fly Fishing' by in the Yellow Pages Adverts. :lol:
Funnily enough a book by that name did appear after those adverts ceased and it became a best seller. There might be a moral in there. Lizard.
Harry0
Ladies, please read my add no 55283. It might interest you.
Orgasminator
Quote by Carpathian
I can't say I've seen your other posts so feel it would be unfair of me to comment but I must admit to seeing your post above and being struck that it seemed like an ad with a post bolted on above it.
Maybe it would be better to put those details into either your profle or an ad and stick a short link to it into your sig. Ask on here if you're not sure how and we can help/advise.
Just a well-meant thought and advice from a fellow forum member - thats all ! What HarryO says is very true - where guys are concerned on here it really is required to catch the eye in a good way from the start.
Hope this helps in some way ?
Carpathian
I think you may well be correct about my addiction Carpathian.
To view anyone's 'Posts' click on to their 'Profile' at the bottom of any persons post, and you will get their profile immediately on your screen. Look under 'number of posts' by that person and there is a line in blue saying, 'View all posts', click on that, and a list of all posts appears made by that person, also the number of views that post has had and the number of replies there were to that particular 'post'. Clicking on any individual listed posting will take you to that full post.
Hope this helps.
Harry0
I must get out more. :lol:
Orgasminator
Oh, bugger, bugger, bugger, I go out for the day to pass some time with a charming lady, and what happens, Nasty posts, member booted, and I missed all the excitement. Aaagggghhhh.
I must get a laptop, logged into Swinging Heaven on a permanent basis, to carry around with me all the time.
Government Health Warning, Swinging Heaven can become addictive.
Harry0
I must get a laptop, logged into Swinging Heaven on a permanent basis, to carry around with me all the time.
Government Health Warning, Swinging Heaven can become addictive.
Harry0
