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Lucy xx
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lucyslovely
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female
UK
Forum
Quote by Martino4660
All you sexy couples out there please don't be offended by the criteria... ........ but I was trying to make sure that everyone was well matched at the party by setting the criteria.
People like you make my blood boil ..... who the hell do you think you are to decide who matches my criteria or anyone elses on here for that matter ???
Only 2 singles guys being invited ??? ...... thats nowhere near enough and if they are only in their early 20's .... no thanks Ive got sons that age.
Quote by Martino4660
Come on lets have some fun.
errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ....
....... don't think so ! 
Quote by Angel Chat
Personally speaking, I'd never reply to an ad for bi-fems. As a single female my own personal safety has to be my main priority, and meeting 2 strangers with a view to sex is pretty risky as far as I can see.
It's not that single bi fems don't exist, it's just that we (usually - and as I said, I can only speak for myself) prefer to meet people at social events like munches before even thinking about diving into bed with them. That way I can decide in a no pressure environment if there are any couples I fancy. Actually finding a couple that I find attractive is a bit of a job in itself, and then there's the matter of whether they both fancy me as well.
Basically I think it's the luck of the draw whether anyone actually gets anywhere in their search for the "holy grail" that some see it as, but remember as well that the couples seeking bi fems faaaaar outweigh the single bifems looking for couples in the first place
HTH
I have to agree with you on that Angel ................ although I don't look at the ads .....
Lucy
Quote by JudyTV
Its fine with me .
Are there still more pics to come...................................Lucy ???????
Judy
Don't shout so loud Judy
I've got a sore head 
... er more like I split my forehead at work and its been superglued back together Pics are sorted - just trying to find a webhosting site that I can put them all on - once Ive found how to get round their no nudity or pornographic pics !!
Lucy xxx
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking older man in his mid-sixties and the other is a gorgeous, dark-skinned, brunette in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes, and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the older man and asks, "Can you top that?"
The older man replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of the way."
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes, and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the older man and asks, "Can you top that?"
The older man replies, "No problem, just get that lion out of the way."
Quote by Ice Pie
Sod it, I'm just grumpy today, not your fault. Sorry
No change there then!!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:I like a happy ending!!
Oh yeah, that reminds me...theyalso told me I needed a pass from you to go in there... I said you'd be delighted to give me a long-term one and tell me not to hurry back ;)
Errrrrrrrrrrr they
???? they was me LOL Ice_Pie you should know by now that you have to get written permission :small-print: off Sarge to do anything on here ........ I'm sure he's got forms for everything including sickness and holidays in that filing cabinet of his so why should the chatroom be any different. :undecided:
Has your sense of humour gone AWOL without permission :grin: :grin:
lucyslovely :kiss:
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife".
" What type of bra?" asked the saleslady.
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from".
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.! Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...
The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.!
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letter s stood for, it is about time you became informed!
(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up !
ps ....... They forgot the German bra ........................ Holtzemfromfloppen!
" What type of bra?" asked the saleslady.
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from".
Relieved, the man asked about the types.
The saleslady replied "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.! Which one would you prefer?"
Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...
The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.!
Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letter s stood for, it is about time you became informed!
(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up !
ps ....... They forgot the German bra ........................ Holtzemfromfloppen!
Quote by Mister_Discreet
There was no mistaking what we heard
A very loud whooshing sound, if I recall correctly! .
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Quote by Mister_Discreet
Once I get the pictures sorted I will let you all have your pictures
That reminds me... I'm also happy for pictures with me in to be posted, provided my face is blurred out.
It's taken me long enough to work out how to post images on here and now you want me to blr your face :doh: anyway... I think I have more more pictures of your naked ass
... do you want me to blur that as well :rascal: Thank you Blue n Satin for another absolutely crackin' party :lol:It was great meeting up with old friends and making new ones :grin: ............. can't wait for the house-warming
Quote by Nomad_Soulvery definitely :rascal: eating 'jelly' has taken on a whole new meaning :rascal: :rascal:
...... and that vodka jelly has a better usage than just eating, that right Lucy? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Quote by Marmalaid
My speech may have been a little slurred at the time, so it’s possible that you may have misheard “Get the fuck of my bed!â€
There was no mistaking what we heard
:rascal:Once I get the pictures sorted I will let you all have your pictures .... although those with "mini-movies" will have to go on disk :grin: I'm going to give a full copy of everything I took to Blue n Satin :rascal: it could take me a while to sort them all tho :wink: as I will have to have a good look at them all :rascal:
Lucy
I'm excited :grin: and nervous :uhoh: all at the same time :bounce: :bounce:
Have some last minute bits to get
Battery charged in camera ....... memory cards packed so I can take lots of piccies :grin: :grin:
Just a shame I have to go to work for 7 hours ..... with the anticipation of what might happen at the party tonight :gagged:
..... how on earth will I concentrate at work :dunno:
woohoooooooooooooo roll on 8pm :happy: :thrilled:
Lucy
Have some last minute bits to get
Battery charged in camera ....... memory cards packed so I can take lots of piccies :grin: :grin:
Just a shame I have to go to work for 7 hours ..... with the anticipation of what might happen at the party tonight :gagged:
..... how on earth will I concentrate at work :dunno:woohoooooooooooooo roll on 8pm :happy: :thrilled:
Lucy
Quote by Alleyson
A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of a plane. The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.
The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering.
A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders violently again.
The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, " Excuse me for asking but why do you shudder so violently after every sneeze?"
he woman replies, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I have a very rare condition and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The man, now feeling a little embarrassed, but even more curious, says, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"
The woman smiles at him and says, "Pepper."
Normally I would've laughed at this but seeing I'm off work at the moment because of a trapped nerve due to sneezing I'll just wince in pain!!
Wouldn't have minded so much if I'd had an orgasm too lol
awhhhhhhhhhh allyson - am so sorry .............. but I couldn't help but laugh
A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of a plane. The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.
The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering.
A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders violently again.
The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, " Excuse me for asking but why do you shudder so violently after every sneeze?"
he woman replies, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I have a very rare condition and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The man, now feeling a little embarrassed, but even more curious, says, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"
The woman smiles at him and says, "Pepper."
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.
The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering.
A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders violently again.
The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, " Excuse me for asking but why do you shudder so violently after every sneeze?"
he woman replies, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I have a very rare condition and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The man, now feeling a little embarrassed, but even more curious, says, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"
The woman smiles at him and says, "Pepper."
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Quote by manofmuchfun
Maybe:
If instead of transferring your account to your new address you cancel it when you move, then ask to be connected at your new place, as you will no longer have an account they will treat you as a 'brand new customer', connect you up in five minutes, give you the three-in-one package for half price, send 17 dancing girls round your house to entertain you, walk your dog, do your shopping, give you a blowjob...
Then after a month you won't be a 'brand new customer' anymore and they'll go back to treating you like shit.
Now thats a thought ....a new account with a different provider ! wasnt thinking ! or maybe threaten em with thought of a new provider !
but your right about being treated as shit ! ........as a new customer I had to wait from Aug 6th to sept 7th last year to have the package installed, ......two weeks after that my phone went dead ! so I sent various e-mails, sat in the telephone box on numerous occaisions......to be told theres a fault on the line ! fuck me , as if I didnt know that ! .....anyway I got an email saying it would take a month to rectify ! it didnt..........from end of Sept to Jan 14th this year ! no phone ! ...........now I had emailed various times....could even ring my own number but no ring tone in house ! ....but its working they said......I said it fucking isnt well ring me and see ! ....oh we have fucked up the wiring , we'll send an engineer later today ! ........yup was done in 5 mins ! ........this was only done cos I stood in the middle of a precinct shouting at the NTL girl who sold me the package in the shopping centre ! ..........but whats the option ?
Pop into your local Comet/Curries/PC World .... pick up a disk for an ISP who offers an internet connection other than broadband .............pop the disk into yourcomputer and you have instant connection.
I think you pay by credit card .... you might have limited access .... but it's better that no connection at all !
Lucy
Your wife should be giving you an ultimatum ........ "change YOUR attitude or get shown the door " ! 
:x :x
When does your divorce come through ? I just don't understand why you are on a swingers site .........
I was married to a man with your attitude .... it left me with no confidence and low self-esteem. Its taken me a long time to regain my confidence and my self-esteem......
Men with your attitude really make me :fuckinghell:
:fuckinghell: :kick: :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell: :banghead: :fuckinghell: :kick: :fuckinghell: :smackbottom: :fuckinghell:
Lucy
I'm a redhead ... what can i say :doh:
:x :x When does your divorce come through ? I just don't understand
why you are on a swingers site ......... I was married to a man with your attitude .... it left me with no confidence and low self-esteem. Its taken me a long time to regain my confidence and my self-esteem......
Men with your attitude really make me :fuckinghell:
:fuckinghell: :kick: :fuckinghell: :fuckinghell: :banghead: :fuckinghell: :kick: :fuckinghell: :smackbottom: :fuckinghell: Lucy
I'm a redhead ... what can i say :doh:
