Don't know how relevant this is.
We were in Australia two years ago and there was an article in the Sydney Morning Herald about this very subject. Maybe somebody could find it on the internet.
Anyway, the bit that might not be relevant talked about overweight men. The article said that a man who slimmed down could expect his penis to look one inch longer for each stone lost
Major Tom
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I was a swinger in a limited way in the year or so before we met each other. I was a single guy in a relationship with a married couple. Until I met a girl who freaked out at the concept and I ended the threesome and made a twosome with the girl. That didn't last and I didn't get back into the threesome. I can't blame them for not wanting me back.
Then I met Maureen and we've been together for eleven years and we started thinking about swinging when we found SH a couple of months ago. We haven't advertised or answered any ads.
A few single guys contacted us, I suppose because they saw Maureen and Tom and saw an opportunity and we have actually met one of them twice.
We found the experience so exciting and the guy so nice that we wrote it up in the Swinger's Stories. Then Maureen decided that the story we wrote together wasn't exactly accurate and wrote it again herself. Soi we have two stories in there maybe presenting two different views of the same action.
It's possible we might now form a fairly stable threesome but I have felt no diminution in my love for and commitment to Maureen.
Don't know what my mother would say but right now we're a couple of happy corporals.
Tom
I was a swinger in a limited way in the year or so before we met each other. I was a single guy in a relationship with a married couple. Until I met a girl who freaked out at the concept and I ended the threesome and made a twosome with the girl. That didn't last and I didn't get back into the threesome. I can't blame them for not wanting me back.
Then I met Maureen and we've been together for eleven years and we started thinking about swinging when we found SH a couple of months ago. We haven't advertised or answered any ads.
A few single guys contacted us, I suppose because they saw Maureen and Tom and saw an opportunity and we have actually met one of them twice.
We found the experience so exciting and the guy so nice that we wrote it up in the Swinger's Stories. Then Maureen decided that the story we wrote together wasn't exactly accurate and wrote it again herself. Soi we have two stories in there maybe presenting two different views of the same action.
It's possible we might now form a fairly stable threesome but I have felt no diminution in my love for and commitment to Maureen.
Don't know what my mother would say but right now we're a couple of happy corporals.
Tom
Maureen and I are Naturists so we get to see lots of penises but hardly ever any erect ones. And I too would like an inch or so more when it is soft but quite happy with it when erect.
However, on a nudist beach near Perpignan a couple of years ago we walked past a man sunbathing on his back with his penis pointing straight at the sky and, truly, it was only a couple of inches long and not much thicker than a pencil. A baby penis. But if it was pointing straight up then he must have had an erection.
Maureen once said to me "Is it in yet?" and collapsed in laughter when I reacted "Uh". You were only joking, weren't you?
Major Tom
However, on a nudist beach near Perpignan a couple of years ago we walked past a man sunbathing on his back with his penis pointing straight at the sky and, truly, it was only a couple of inches long and not much thicker than a pencil. A baby penis. But if it was pointing straight up then he must have had an erection.
Maureen once said to me "Is it in yet?" and collapsed in laughter when I reacted "Uh". You were only joking, weren't you?
Major Tom
It being weekend we are both here so this time it truly is Maureen and Tom.
Thanks Alexandra. Wigan is one of my favourite places and I still visit quite often. l used to work in Wigan and one of the girls I worked with was "flashed" at by some guy. She beat him up. And I've been fond of Wigan ever since.
Maureen: no relatives in Wigan, sorry.
And a big thank you to everybody for such a warm welcome.
Both of us.
Thanks Alexandra. Wigan is one of my favourite places and I still visit quite often. l used to work in Wigan and one of the girls I worked with was "flashed" at by some guy. She beat him up. And I've been fond of Wigan ever since.
Maureen: no relatives in Wigan, sorry.
And a big thank you to everybody for such a warm welcome.
Both of us.
Mal has got me thinking and we might have been using a code not particularly see through to those not in the know.
Crabs is a fairly derisive term for what used to be called Brylcream Boys wearing light blue and fishheads is a fairly derisive term for Jolly Jacks in dark blue. And this got me to thinking of the times I (a light blue) served briefly twice with the dark blues - once in peacetime and once during a period of Minor Unpleasantness.
We set sail and the dark blues must have been concerned for our safety because once we were out sight of land they called a lifeboat drill and there was much hooting of whistles and clanging of claxons and fishheads running up and down shouting orders while they gathered us together on the flat bit at the back. They didn't take it kindly when us light blues called a pause in the proceeding to take out extra insurance by grouping together to sing "Abide With Me".
Also on the same cruise, the Captain and the Officer of the Watch were distinctly unamused by our regular visits to the Bridge to offer our assistance with their navigation which calculations were usually written down on the back of cigarette packets so they wouldn't forget.
Ah, happy days.
But I'm getting distracted. I'm really here because I was a Corporal and I'm waiting for all those advertisers looking for Cpls.
Tom
Crabs is a fairly derisive term for what used to be called Brylcream Boys wearing light blue and fishheads is a fairly derisive term for Jolly Jacks in dark blue. And this got me to thinking of the times I (a light blue) served briefly twice with the dark blues - once in peacetime and once during a period of Minor Unpleasantness.
We set sail and the dark blues must have been concerned for our safety because once we were out sight of land they called a lifeboat drill and there was much hooting of whistles and clanging of claxons and fishheads running up and down shouting orders while they gathered us together on the flat bit at the back. They didn't take it kindly when us light blues called a pause in the proceeding to take out extra insurance by grouping together to sing "Abide With Me".
Also on the same cruise, the Captain and the Officer of the Watch were distinctly unamused by our regular visits to the Bridge to offer our assistance with their navigation which calculations were usually written down on the back of cigarette packets so they wouldn't forget.
Ah, happy days.
But I'm getting distracted. I'm really here because I was a Corporal and I'm waiting for all those advertisers looking for Cpls.
Tom
I've been thinking about outranking Bilko.
Well, if I remember rightly, Bilko isn't an ordinary Sergeant. He is a Master Sergeant. And that is equivalent to our Sergeant Major. So it has to come down to seniority and since Bilko has to be at least 120 years old it has to be admitted that he outranks me. I also seem to remember that Bilko was a Lootenant for a while (whatever that is) having been awarded a field commission during the Second Great Unpleasantness. I think he resigned his commission rather than pay ten years of mess bills.
So Bilko still reigns supreme.
My own branch of the service had its own "Master" ranks. Master Pilot, Master Navigator and so on. Mostly they were nice guys but I have to admit there were a few Master Baiters among them.
Major Tom
Well, if I remember rightly, Bilko isn't an ordinary Sergeant. He is a Master Sergeant. And that is equivalent to our Sergeant Major. So it has to come down to seniority and since Bilko has to be at least 120 years old it has to be admitted that he outranks me. I also seem to remember that Bilko was a Lootenant for a while (whatever that is) having been awarded a field commission during the Second Great Unpleasantness. I think he resigned his commission rather than pay ten years of mess bills.
So Bilko still reigns supreme.
My own branch of the service had its own "Master" ranks. Master Pilot, Master Navigator and so on. Mostly they were nice guys but I have to admit there were a few Master Baiters among them.
Major Tom
Hi Everybody,
If you think I'm new then that's because I'm new. I've been skulking about for a month or two trying to pluck up the courage to post something. Haven't even filled in our profile properly. Avatars, emoticons and stuff are still on my wish-list.
I'm the Tom part of Maureen and Tom and the Alpha Female (more often called The Management) will be having a look at this later. For the time being this is a solo effort from (Sgt) Major Tom. True, you can check with Ground Control if you wish.
Now why, you may ask, is this nut posting now? Over the months I've fallen in love with Vix (is she that beautiful blonde on the beach? I think I know where that beach is but I'm not saying because I like it deserted), and Clare, and Callista, and Angel Chat (is it ok if I copy, paste, print and frame that wonderful first poem?) and others as well.
However, the sharp intellect and tongues of Bilko, Mal and others fill me with fear.
But not any more. Because I've been browsing through the ads. It's amazing how many ads want Cpls. Some even say "Cpl4Cpls". Now why anybody would want five Corporals, I don't know. It's a mystery to me why they all want Cpls - what about the poor bloody Sgts and WO Ones. Maybe the advertisers think there's been no promotion this side of the ocean. I think that could be the long and the short and the tall of it.
But I was a Corporal for about five years. True, it took a few years toget to Corporal and it was only a few years to be promoted out of the Corporal zone. But I am a Cpl of some standing. I even remember the chat-up lines. Like, wait for it, wait for it, "I'll have your guts for garters, Sunshine" and "You broke your mother's heart but you won't break mine". And more.
So the fear has now gone. I know I am in demand and will sit back confident that now I am a Cpl out of the closet there will be masses of people demanding to be placed on my waiting list. (Judy, would you like a Cpl in uniform?)
Cpl (now Major) Tom
ps: Clare - Get Well Soon (and would you like a Cpl in uniform?)
If you think I'm new then that's because I'm new. I've been skulking about for a month or two trying to pluck up the courage to post something. Haven't even filled in our profile properly. Avatars, emoticons and stuff are still on my wish-list.
I'm the Tom part of Maureen and Tom and the Alpha Female (more often called The Management) will be having a look at this later. For the time being this is a solo effort from (Sgt) Major Tom. True, you can check with Ground Control if you wish.
Now why, you may ask, is this nut posting now? Over the months I've fallen in love with Vix (is she that beautiful blonde on the beach? I think I know where that beach is but I'm not saying because I like it deserted), and Clare, and Callista, and Angel Chat (is it ok if I copy, paste, print and frame that wonderful first poem?) and others as well.
However, the sharp intellect and tongues of Bilko, Mal and others fill me with fear.
But not any more. Because I've been browsing through the ads. It's amazing how many ads want Cpls. Some even say "Cpl4Cpls". Now why anybody would want five Corporals, I don't know. It's a mystery to me why they all want Cpls - what about the poor bloody Sgts and WO Ones. Maybe the advertisers think there's been no promotion this side of the ocean. I think that could be the long and the short and the tall of it.
But I was a Corporal for about five years. True, it took a few years toget to Corporal and it was only a few years to be promoted out of the Corporal zone. But I am a Cpl of some standing. I even remember the chat-up lines. Like, wait for it, wait for it, "I'll have your guts for garters, Sunshine" and "You broke your mother's heart but you won't break mine". And more.
So the fear has now gone. I know I am in demand and will sit back confident that now I am a Cpl out of the closet there will be masses of people demanding to be placed on my waiting list. (Judy, would you like a Cpl in uniform?)
Cpl (now Major) Tom
ps: Clare - Get Well Soon (and would you like a Cpl in uniform?)
