Quote by bluexxx
omg at last someone is talking sence,
i agree with everything you have said there, you have a much better way with words than i have, i could have never have put something together like that i usually just start ranting
Quote by bluexxx
I hadn't read this thread since it was on page 1, but some interesting points made in the last 4 pages. Without giving my identity away to all and sundry, I will simply say that my PhD was on attitudes towards and I have published several papers on the subject. Thus what follows is based on published research, not conjecture.
The majority of rapes (actually, all sexual assaults) are committed by someone the victim knows, often very well. "Official" figures on victim-perpetrator relationship are flawed cos victims are less likely to report rapes committed by a known person.... this is cos of societal myths that "real" is committed by strangers. People are more likely to believe is real if it is committed by a stranger and victims (being members of society) know this too.
Vctims by someone they know are more likely to be blamed for their assault, cos people think that they should have been able to see it coming, prevent it, or that they may have led the perpetrator on in some way. However, victims by strangers are also blamed in some circumstances. As has been discussed here, if a woman is whilst wearing provacative clothing, walking alone at night, etc etc, she is likely to be seen as a causal agent of the event. This implicitly blames her for being at the scene. Whether that blame is explicit or not, it is still holding her partly responsible. This detracts blame from the perpetrator. There are many cases of such variables being used in court to defend the perpetrator. Police "safety" messages perpetuate the myth that the victim is responsible, as do the popular media. This increases fear of crime amongst women, it also means that many victims do not report at all. Blaming victims however implicitly, means that thousands of rapists every year are not brought to justice, and means that many victims do not receive the support and help that they urgently need. Blaming victims, however implicitly, hinders their recovery. When someone has been a victim of even the most subtle blaming can contribute to further secondary victimisation.
Roughly 10% of victims are male. Men are also blamed for their , usually for different reasons than the ways women are blamed. Men tend to be blamed for not being able to fight off their attacker. Not fighting back may be seen as implicitly encouraging the . In fact, however 'ard someone is, traumatic events usually make people freeze and unable to fight, even if under less stressful situations, they could. One study of male victims (may or may not be my own research) found that over 80% of the men in the study simply could not fight back. Saying that a "big strong guy" cannot be is simply untrue, and such myths serves to prevent such men from reporting cos they figure (rightly) that people may not believe them.
Selling anti- protection such as this 'ere tampon thing, in my view, is blinkered and simply a gimmick, cashing in on women's fear of . OK, if a woman is attacked whilst wearing one of these things she may stop herself being vaginally. However, it does not prevent anal or oral or any other sexual or physical assault that usually accompanies a sexual assault. Even if it does make the perpetrator stop in his tracks by hurting him, he has already penetrated, hence he has already .... so it is not actually protection at all! is penetration, however slight. Even a "slight" , or an attempted means years of coming to terms with it for the victim.... suffering, in other words. The only way to prevent is to catch the people that committ these acts. That means changing people's attitudes to make it easier for victims to come forward. There is no other answer.
Yes this is something I feel strongly about. Thank you for reading
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Quote by barewolf
i do understand what you are saying, and u have made a lot of refferance to what women wear, in one post even saying 'her tits was out' and 'you could see her pants (what little of them there was)' (so u look close enogh to see how small her knicker was didn't you
Quote by freckledbird
What's a normal woman, then?
What's a shirtlifter, whilst we're doing definitions? And yes, I do know what it means; I happen to think it's quite an offensive term though.
lol Quote by Kniphofia
But on a day-to-day basis, the problem isn't with the men, but with other women: they spend half their lives starving themselves to death to look "fit", and then when they go to a club or party and see all the men ogling someone who's a bigtitted wobbly size 20, they get VERY nasty.
So all BBWs get used to spending ages making themselves look nice, and then winding up in the lav in tears because some woman - and it is always a woman - says, in a stage whisper: "Look at the state of that", or "How can she have the nerve".
Quote by barewolf
You did bring it up and pointed it out as a reason for possibly getting !
Quote by barewolf
i do totally understand the point you are trying to make, however its just not realistic, if all women went out in jeans and a jumper there would still be rapists, dressing sexy does not get u , a half dressed woman walking down the street will not turn a normal guy into a and if a guy is out looking for a woman he will not go home empty handed because noone was out in a short skirt that night, he'll just grab the nearist woman to him, its stupid to say we should not put ourselves at risk cause by doing that it would mean no woman goes out after dark unless in a big group? why should we have to do that, they are in the wrong not us so why should we be the ones who are being told we are in the wrong bacause of what we wear, who we are with etc
If a young girl get on her way home in a short skirt the chances are she would have still gotten if she had trousers on.
woman of all ages get not just 'young sexy' ones
My point was nothing to do with what they wear! My point was, if a is on the prowl in a particular area and there are no women / girls in that area, he hasn't got anyone to has he??? If a woman puts herself in a position such as walking home on her own late at night in a place where she is vulnerable, she is putting herself at risk! I am not saying she is asking for it, or that it is her fault.) i do understand what u mean by if there are no women in the village there are no women to , but why the hell should we hide away just cause its dark, life don't stop cause there are rapists out there, if its late at night and we have to get home and walkings the only way then we have to bloody well walk end of Quote by barewolf
You seem to think that if a girl or woman who is wearing sexy clothes that she is asking for trouble,that is complete should be living in a society where women should feel safe no matter what they wear.......it doesn't make a slightest bit of difference what they wear to a .......
Quote by barewolf
Wouldn't it be better where possible for women to be sensible and not put themselves at risk of in the first place?
Considering the prevalence of serious attacks on women (and young girls) and the publicity it generates, it is surprising how many potential victims you see. In my local town is isn't uncommon, in fact it's very common, to see women, young women, walking along dark roads light at night dressed in very lttle. And while I don't think a girl's dress or lack of it is an excuse for someone to take advantage of, I think these girls are leaving themselves wide open to attack.
I travel around the country a lot with my work, and I see this everywhere! Only a few days ago I was on my way home at about at night, and passed two girls of about 16 years old (a guess btw), walking along an unlit country lane, both wear wearing very short skirts and skimpy tops!
Once, a couple of years ago, again late at night, I was passing through a large Cheshire village and had to swerve to avoid a girl who was walking along the pavement, going in the same direction as me, she had staggered into the road as she was drunk, very drunk! This girl in perhaps her late teens was again wearing a very short skirt and a pretty revealing top, and she was pretty attractive. Having overtaken her, it suddenly crossed my mind that she was walking out of the village towards open countryside! So then I thought, "shall I go back and see if she would like a lift?"... so then for a minute or two I had a mental battle of concience versus, well, what do you call it, dilemma? Think about it... 46 year old man stopping and trying to pick up a young girl, how does that look? Then I thought, "how would you feel if you picked up the paper tomorrow and read that a girl had been or murdered??"... So, in the end I turned around and went back, stopped and asked if I could give her a lift somewhere. Now the other thing here is, how the hell does she know I'm safe? She doesn't, but, she got in my car and I took her to another twon about 6 miles away and droped her near some houses where she said she lived, and waited while she went in. On the way she told me she'd had a row with her boyfriend and he'd dumped her and left her to make her own way home. Like I said, she was quite drunk, her tits were falling out of her top (and I mean that literally, they were uncovered)... which I pointed out to her so she could cover up, and her skirt was so short you could see her knickers (not there was a lot of them!). My conscience was clear because I had no intention of touching her inappropriately, and to the best of my knowledge I delivered her safely home. But ti made me think about how with another man the situation could have turned out very different!
I'm not trying to say that women are to blame for being , but surely some could be a bit more careful?
Quote by Wishmaster
is not about sex it's about power. The kind of man that resorts to is seeking power over his victims and usually has a inferioirity complex with regards to women in general, this is his way of exerting his 'power' over her. Understanding that psychological make up of a would be and it's not hard to understand that any woman that puts up a strong defence stands a better chance of not being than one who meekly submits. It's all down to the character of the woman involved and there is no cut and dried approach on how to defend oneself successfully against .
A strong minded woman will fight tooth and nail against a 'lesser' physical man and she may well beat him off. A strong man, physically, will overcome any woman if he's determined enough. The thing about these 'rapex' condoms is that the inventor has understood one vital factor here - men cannot stand the thought of ANTHING happening to their penises that renders them: useless, damaged or inoperative - if a man is damaged by one of these things I don't think retaliation will be the first thing on his mind - preservation of his penis will take precedence.
Rapists are cowards and most will turn tail and flee if confronted or fought back against. A that kills is not a , he's a murderer who uses sex in his crime and that's an entirely different mindset altogether. A pychopath will kill and he won't leave his victim any means of escaping as his crime is normally carefully planned and orchestrated, a is usually an opportunist.
Quote by sparking
There are some of us who really love BBWs, but it's not good to put labels on people. I guess what we really appreciate is someone who is happy with their personality, wants to be friendly, and is proud to be a real woman. Being voluptuous can be very attractive, and is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. There's a huge lobby which tries to encourage women to be smaller than they are, and I find that very unattractive and insulting. Just be yourself, and enjoy!
Quote by markz
I watched a program a few years ago that whilst it accepted men do get it was predominently against women and whilst it was a "mans world" would never be taken as seriously as it should. I'd give them 10-15 years not few years they get at the moment.
Quote by Wilki
Mind i do know one good reason to go to Mansfield Ahem
Quote by The Dukes
Moved to mansfield when i left the army, and yeah it is a hell, but have lived in worse, it's what you make it
:smoke:
