The obvious one for me is Mrs PS post bath/shower, the warm musky perfume emanating from her slowly opening thighs.
As for over the counter smells the one, above all else is Leu D'issey (Issy Myake), this really get me going and is unmistakeable...put the two together and bliss!
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pleasureseeker
Over 90 days ago
Male
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Got this book after someone suggested it may help resolve 'problems at home'!
well after reading pages 1&2 my heart sank.".. if you are not delighted by a style of intimacy involving deep passion, deep devotion and deep understanding--all three--then this book is not for you"!!!!!!! Bit of a letdown for a book that has a sub title of "awakening your sexual essence". Surely if it isnt awake you wont know if you are delighted or not? Anyway, this ruled out Mrs PS as a candidate for help becasue she isnt delighted.
I continued to read the book and basically thought it was pants. seemed to be written by a kaftan wearing, white wine drinking Californian who treats those who havent actually got problems.
The basic message of the book is the sexual polarity betwwen masculne and feminine sides of our persona and matching these to counteract or balance any problems. I could see the point the author is trying to make but this book appears to be aimed at those who have open mids (sexually) anyway so where is the problem solving? If you are not discounted in the first quote, why do you need to read the book?
Any way I gave up,(after about 100 pages) I didnt find it helpful at all and didnt really learn anything new about myself.
To the person who recommended the book, thank you but it wasnt what I was hoping to find, £5 lighter in the pocket but no big deal.
Im sure others have read this book and will find it a better read than I. (wife didnt know what it was about????).
well after reading pages 1&2 my heart sank.".. if you are not delighted by a style of intimacy involving deep passion, deep devotion and deep understanding--all three--then this book is not for you"!!!!!!! Bit of a letdown for a book that has a sub title of "awakening your sexual essence". Surely if it isnt awake you wont know if you are delighted or not? Anyway, this ruled out Mrs PS as a candidate for help becasue she isnt delighted.
I continued to read the book and basically thought it was pants. seemed to be written by a kaftan wearing, white wine drinking Californian who treats those who havent actually got problems.
The basic message of the book is the sexual polarity betwwen masculne and feminine sides of our persona and matching these to counteract or balance any problems. I could see the point the author is trying to make but this book appears to be aimed at those who have open mids (sexually) anyway so where is the problem solving? If you are not discounted in the first quote, why do you need to read the book?
Any way I gave up,(after about 100 pages) I didnt find it helpful at all and didnt really learn anything new about myself.
To the person who recommended the book, thank you but it wasnt what I was hoping to find, £5 lighter in the pocket but no big deal.
Im sure others have read this book and will find it a better read than I. (wife didnt know what it was about????).
Havent realy got any tips on giving up/stopping, I used to smoke up to 60 rollies per day into my early 20's, wlaking to work one day I was really struggling to get up a hill due to poor /reduced lung capacity. threw my 'baccy' away and havent smoked since, stupid thing is I was never ever addicted to the bloody things so I had no excuse.
To stop or give up, it is useless merely to educate you to the risks of smoking (Im sure you are well aware of them) what you need to find is the motivation and also the desire to cease or at least cut down. Addiction to smoking is not really much different to any other addiction and the real answer lies within yourself.
Motivation for me was to clear my lungs and be fit, reduce the risk of heart disease and also to stop smelling like a tramp (smoking does make you stink), these factors may not be enough for you btu whatever you try, try and get some kind of support network, family/friends, let them know what you are trying to do and ask them to support you through it. good luck with it
To stop or give up, it is useless merely to educate you to the risks of smoking (Im sure you are well aware of them) what you need to find is the motivation and also the desire to cease or at least cut down. Addiction to smoking is not really much different to any other addiction and the real answer lies within yourself.
Motivation for me was to clear my lungs and be fit, reduce the risk of heart disease and also to stop smelling like a tramp (smoking does make you stink), these factors may not be enough for you btu whatever you try, try and get some kind of support network, family/friends, let them know what you are trying to do and ask them to support you through it. good luck with it
I still remember my first experience of strippers. 18 year old with my brother and mates, me the youngest. we were all sat at the front, guess who got the very front seat? anyway well into the act this cavewoman with magnificent Breasts decides its audience participation time (Me) she dances around me wafting these magnificent, baby oiled specimens in my face, then after a few moments she stps and urges me to take her nipple in my mouth (ooooh er dont mind if I do) just as I lean forward to take up the offer....
SMACK! !!!!
Her huge plastic club comes crashing down on my head!
And my Psychologist wonders why I hate women???
SMACK! !!!!
Her huge plastic club comes crashing down on my head!
And my Psychologist wonders why I hate women???
Quote by Harleyman
No!! it's not that I over do it. (well maybe sometimes)
My problem is, when my wife and I go out for a drink and the amber necter is giong down well. we both feel flirty and amorous. :twisted:
But as soon as we get home and wifey's head hits the pillow all she wants to do is sleep!!
I on the other hand, am feeling very rampent still.
Is this the norm? or should I stop giving her alcohol in the hope that she will stay awake? :cheers:
I thought you said You have the drink problem? you sound fine, wife needs to cut it out tho
Quote by joe747
sorry but I agree with the ladies that its mens inability to bring on a female .........
how come in this day and age when women have full responsibilites for ther ow bodies, can they seriously blame men for not reaching orgasm? my orgasm doenst depend on someone else! must be nice to abdicate responsibiltiy when it suits. Admittedly there are some men who need an A ot Z of female anatomy but is that the mans fault entirely? seems far to easy and convenient to simply lay the blame at the mans door when in reality some women can be just as clumsy with men, yet if a man cums too soon/ too late/cant get a hard on....its all his fault??? all very odd
If a woman has difficulty in reaching orgasm, it can be because of a number of reasons, women are more susceptible to mood change whereas men get a hard on...end result is to orgasm! maybe wanking too much too early does spoil mens ability to respond to the womens needs. reaching orgasm becomes the goal and we learn to get there in our own time...quickly! However I dont think men should be readily blamed for non orgasm in women, as has been said on here ..'if I dont know what I want, how would you know?'....or words to that effect! If women cant communicate what is wrong and just as importantly what is right, then the situation will continue to frustrate.
Relaxasshun and communicashun...innit!
Relaxasshun and communicashun...innit!
Quote by Dune
Pleasureseaker,
I am in exactly the same boat. We both love each other dearly but when it gets round to sex shes non plussed. She has no intrest in sex except for every other week, she dosent like to give oral but loves to receive it. its always missonary the list goes on. the only time she gets horney is when she is a little tipsey. Ive tried evrything Humour, Meals, sexy situtaions my imagination has been in overdrive non of it worked. Ive even walked out on her before due to lack of sex.
I told her a few years ago that if it didnt improve I would get it else where. I have now been swinging for two years and she dosnt seem bothered. I think that some people are just like that.
I can empathise with you all the way to the core. I just dont think that we are matched in bed you may be the same
Maybe its time for some blunt talking, you cant look back in your premier years and say I wish I had done this ir that, you only have one life.
Joe
Joe/Dune? That all sounds eerily familiar, had to chuckle at the 'oral' part as well! How someone can take so much pleasure from receiving something and not want to reciprocate is very hard to understand.
The major difference I suppose is that Im not looking to swing, yes I have the fantasies but in all honesty, im not sure I could go through with it.
Point taken about the Blunt talking (and from others), sick of living on a tghtrope, she knows im not happy but not sure how unhappy, needs to be illustrated. Ive tried to avoid pressurising her because she is the one I want to make love to and dont want to lose her. Time for straight talking.
"...clearly have done and Pleasureseeker can't then you need professional help. I think Relate just happens to be the best option that will genuinely try to keep you together.."
TE, I can and am very willing to.
As for coming on here and asking starngers as opposed to seeking professional help???? its actually been helpful and clarifed issues, hadnt T&H tried 'professional' help?
of course had I sought professional help, one of the benefits would have been to bypass the suspicion and paranoia Ive been met with, does anyone seriously think that if anyone wanted to pick up women, they would come on here and post the way I have????
My wife may well come round but as Ive pointed out, 19 years of marriage and no recognition of any problem doesnt fill me with hope.
M wife does love reading and when the book, suggested previously, arrives I will read it and suggest she does, it may trigger some kind of response and open new avenues to discuss, maybe then if she feels all is not right, relate might be more feasable.
TE, I can and am very willing to.
As for coming on here and asking starngers as opposed to seeking professional help???? its actually been helpful and clarifed issues, hadnt T&H tried 'professional' help?
of course had I sought professional help, one of the benefits would have been to bypass the suspicion and paranoia Ive been met with, does anyone seriously think that if anyone wanted to pick up women, they would come on here and post the way I have????
My wife may well come round but as Ive pointed out, 19 years of marriage and no recognition of any problem doesnt fill me with hope.
M wife does love reading and when the book, suggested previously, arrives I will read it and suggest she does, it may trigger some kind of response and open new avenues to discuss, maybe then if she feels all is not right, relate might be more feasable.
Quote by westerross
As for relate the sugestion is good but how do you get someone to fix a problem if they dont think there is one? my wife would be horified at the thought of discussing our sex life with a stranger anyway so Im not to hopeful about the avenue.
Right I have been an ally - up to now! If you tell your wife that you have a problem connected with your sex lives and you tell her it is important to you and she loves you, then she will come with you to a counsellor. I now suspect that you have dismissed this because it is not what you want to do. Tread very carefully my friend - because if your agenda is just to get access to other women - you'd be best advised to either come straight out with it or shut up and get on with it. But, if that is the case don't fuck us around with all this rationalisation.
Tuen have you been drinking? feel free to ask any woman on this site if I have ever approached any of them! I have been married 19 years, I have had opportunity to be unfaithful in the real world, I dont need to come here for that. As for the relate issue what can I say? I am talking to fucking strangers about my relationship and you think I wont go to relate? I know my wife, she would be horrified.
Tal, thanks for your post, always good to here from those who have been or are in similar positions. If she knew I was on here she would go ballistic! but then when the dust settled???? I would be interested to hear how your wifes attitude has changed, how does she feel when she looks back to compared to where you are now? does she feel more confident now? You say it saved your marriage, how have things omproved if you dont mind me asking? (apart form you being allowed to go to a club!
Thanks SS, I know Im probably asking the impossible here and on the whole, the advice , like yours has been well meaning and helped to clarify things.
Couple, yes Im very tactile, with my wife and kids, no one goes short of a cuddle in this house. as for my wife I have lost count the number of times I have kissed and licked every square centimetre of her body, also lost count of the massages. She doea enjoy it all but its always me taking the initiative and I can honestly say I can count in single figures the number of times she has, if I dont nothing happens. All I want is more reciprocation, to be surprised, more spontaneity.
Couple, yes Im very tactile, with my wife and kids, no one goes short of a cuddle in this house. as for my wife I have lost count the number of times I have kissed and licked every square centimetre of her body, also lost count of the massages. She doea enjoy it all but its always me taking the initiative and I can honestly say I can count in single figures the number of times she has, if I dont nothing happens. All I want is more reciprocation, to be surprised, more spontaneity.
Well, I may see my wife as having a problem because....I think she has, her attitude to sex is completely unhealthy in my opinion. OK she is happy with the way things are, why change??? I believe she is sexually repressed and this not only impacts on our life but on hers in terms of her self esteem. By the way, I have tried 'having a shave' now and again even a bath once a month 
As for relate the sugestion is good but how do you get someone to fix a problem if they dont think there is one? my wife would be horified at the thought of discussing our sex life with a stranger anyway so Im not to hopeful about the avenue. I dont think the Pill is an issue because she rarely used it, we used condoms for birth control.
I really dont see any way of sorting this out, I will pursue the relate thing im not sure even if we went, they could be of any use, how3 do you un repress someone?
I am aware I sound pretty selfish but after 19 years I think its a little justified.
As for relate the sugestion is good but how do you get someone to fix a problem if they dont think there is one? my wife would be horified at the thought of discussing our sex life with a stranger anyway so Im not to hopeful about the avenue. I dont think the Pill is an issue because she rarely used it, we used condoms for birth control.
I really dont see any way of sorting this out, I will pursue the relate thing im not sure even if we went, they could be of any use, how3 do you un repress someone?
I am aware I sound pretty selfish but after 19 years I think its a little justified.
Little water has passed under the bridge since I started my fist thread. My wife and myself have chatted about/discussed our sex life and basically there is no change, we have even spent a very good night in a hotel away from the kids. I have not put my wife under any pressure to explore/expand our sex life, even tried abstinence to take the pressure off. Anyway my wife is simply uninterested in anything new (other than nights away in expensive hotels), in our talks she is simply uninterested in sex outside our bedroom door, she doesnt even think about it until I make a move. She says it isnt me, she is very happy with me, I even suggested she might be happier with someone else, male or female, she says she has no need to go elswhere. She is more experienced than me sexually but it does look like she has had some bad experiences and she does not look back with any kind of fondness. Guess therein lies the problem, not sure what I can do anymore, put up with a partner with a low sex drive I suppose but its bloody frustrating. Enjoying sex seems so normal to me and yet to her its almost alien to think of it in this way. Havent asked her to 'see anybody' about the problem yet as this could be problematic for someone who thinks they dont have a problem.
moan over
moan over
Quote by Spark61
Well it s been nearly a year and I can't believe where the time has gone. I 've not mentioned swinging to my wife in all that time and then the other night there was a glimmer of hope. Laying in bed watching real wife swaps my wife said something like "that looks like a fun place". Now you may think I should have jumped right on that but I was so sort of shocked and just came out with a pathetic " "does doesn't it" Then nothing! Now was she just referring to the decor or what? Do I raise the subject again?
We are out and about today so mybe mention it in a non sexual environment which is maybe where I went wrong last time. Maybe there is hope after all!
maybe in all the time that has passed she has thought more about it and the idea not so shocking and even appealing perhaps? remind her about the prog and simply ask her what is was that she thought was fun, once you know this, then you will have a better understanding of the the next step. It may be she likes the idea of the dressing up, the fact that it appeared not as intimidating or threatening as she had imagined?
Good luck, you have got a lot further than me, my wife wont even consider watching the bloody prog lol
Quote by ananga ranga
A close friend of mine rings me up recently telling me an old flame of his that has turned up, and wants him back, or better words wants his one foot cock back.
He's in a difficult position he's in a new relationship with a woman he's not really attracted to nor love's and now he's got this hot horny woman that wants his big cock (she made that clear) on a regular basis and nothing else.
My advice was don't do something you may later regret, think about it before you step in it.
What advice would you have given him?????
OH for a life soooo simple....
Quote by onlyme1981
Everyone has differing views on everything.... that is part of life.
Only pleasureseeker knows his predicament and only he can change the situation he is in.
He came here asking for advice, he got it. Whether he likes it or not is a different matter.
You should ask for advice or opinions only if you really want to know the truth or you do actually want help. Accept the advice that is offered and do what you will with it.
Most of the people who have commented on this thread have given solid, fair advice which they believe might help - the advice was asked for therefore pleasureseeker should accept that people have different views and he doesn't have to actually take anyone's advice!
My advice would be to talk to your wife. Fair enough she may not want to talk about sexual things and might have a problem opening up but you know her better than most people I presume, as you have been married to her for 19 years!
There isn't a quick fix for the situation you're in, asking for advice is a good thing but don't flame those who might be trying to help you.
I've read through each thread (I have lots of time on my hands) and the thing that strikes me is that pleasureseeker has had answers to his questions & people have had a debate about it but he seems to be goading people into other topics the weren't originally in the thread. I know debate evolves but surely if he is trying to get help or advice on the original subject he should be concentrating on that and not leading people into argument?
Only, I am a grown man, I can take or reject advice, one of the thngs I resent is the packaging some of this advice has come in. Yes I expected some to have a go hence the invite. I have had some good advice, particualrly those who have been through similar experiences to mine, funnily enough, they seem to have a better grasp of the issue. Perhaps if people ceased to be so judgemental and concentrate on offering advice this debate may have gone more smoothly. to those who have offered advice both on here and via pm's, thank you.
I re iterate I am not a 'player' whatever TF one is supposed to be. Simply came here for advice from a group of people I thought were enlightened and had probably come through dificult experiences.
M&H, sorry if I appeared to be labelling everyone with the judgemental attitudes, thankfully post like yours add a refreshing balance. how much is left in my marriage? enough to avoid taking the leap I suppose, well it has been so far. If the other woman came along I honestly dont know what would happen or how I would respond, logic doesnt tend to have much say in these things wth perhaps the exception of telling me to stop looking and avoid the pain. The main serious message im picking up from those who have been through similar is to leave it alone as the hurt isnt worth it and I guess its back to exploring these issues with my wife...does anyone find it odd that a woman turns the tv off when a mild sex scene on terrestrial tv comes on?
