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roger743
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 49
Forum
Quote by well_busty_babe
i dont mean men on the umpalumpa variety.. more of the "less well endowed" type.
the only tip i have found is that it seems to be easier if the guy at the back goes in first!
hope this helps
But but but... that's the reverse of the way it's done in pornos, where it's always guys with ten-foot nobs and the backdoor dude's rocket always finds the launchpad second! Do you mean to say watching pornos might *gasp* not be the best way to learn about sex? :shock: I am shocked and appalled, who'd have thought it?
Fascinating post. Thanks.
Personally I'm quite fond of anal-play but not full penetration - either giving or receiving. Actually I've only been on the giving penetration side a few times and my overall reaction is always "huh, is that it?". I have played around with receiving dildos and wotnot but again it leaves me underwhelmed, whilst just the tip of a finger drives me absolutely crazy.
Personally I'm quite fond of anal-play but not full penetration - either giving or receiving. Actually I've only been on the giving penetration side a few times and my overall reaction is always "huh, is that it?". I have played around with receiving dildos and wotnot but again it leaves me underwhelmed, whilst just the tip of a finger drives me absolutely crazy.
Wow. :shock:
I don't like to make fun, because it's very easy to say and do stupid things in a moment of emotion, and there's certainly nothing wrong with wanting more than to just be used for sex, but after mature reflection on your tale, I have to say...
Wow. :shock: His last txt is the killer. :lol2:
I don't like to make fun, because it's very easy to say and do stupid things in a moment of emotion, and there's certainly nothing wrong with wanting more than to just be used for sex, but after mature reflection on your tale, I have to say...
Wow. :shock: His last txt is the killer. :lol2:
As an ex-single-guy (well, I'm still a single guy, but I'm not a wannabe-swinger-single-guy anymore), one thing I think often gets forgotten in the various hints and tips that get passed around is that, all women are individuals. There's not one set of rules that work for everyone; you have to read the woman's advert and/or her posts in the forum and try to make a judgement on the best way to approach her.
As an illustration; when I first started doing this stuff, I used to write long romantic missives that were one half sexual fantasy, one half autobiography, and one half expressions of sexual attraction. After about a dozen I started to get a bit frustrated about the lack of response, and I read in someone's advert that people were writing too much for her to read. So I started writing less, making it more chatty, trying to draw people into conversation. A month or so later, I read in some advice document that women get really pissed off at long email conversations that don't lead to meets, so I changed again, usually ending messages with an invitation to exchange a few emails "with a few to meeting if we get on". I was always including a facial picture and sometimes a body-picture, but a few months later I found in the advice section on AdultFriendFinder the advice to always include a gential picture "so women can see what they're getting". Then I read somewhere about women not liking being pressured into meeting. So I changed again. And again. And someone else said that women hate getting genital pictures in their mail. And women hate getting any pictures attached to replies. And women hate getting replies without pictures. And women need to be wooed with long romantic fantasies. And you should should never say anything in a first message that doesn't directly compliment a woman. Never talk about the weather. Never leave any room for misunderstanding. A little vagueness goes a long way. Be honest. Be a fantasy. Sell yourself. Never tell women you've got an advert of your own. Never PM a woman in the forum. Only PM a woman if you've established a rapport already. Feel free to PM women to be chatty. Do this, do that, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Finally, after a lot of mature reflection and shooting steam out of my ears, I realised that it's all bollocks. People are individuals, and that includes women on swinging websites. Different people like to be approached in different ways, like to be treated in different ways. There's a few nearly-universal rules that can reduce the chance of you looking like a completely thoughtless moron, but otherwise... everyone's an individual, and that includes the single guys. Just be yourselves.
Unless your real self is a monosyllabic selfish bastard, I suppose.
As an illustration; when I first started doing this stuff, I used to write long romantic missives that were one half sexual fantasy, one half autobiography, and one half expressions of sexual attraction. After about a dozen I started to get a bit frustrated about the lack of response, and I read in someone's advert that people were writing too much for her to read. So I started writing less, making it more chatty, trying to draw people into conversation. A month or so later, I read in some advice document that women get really pissed off at long email conversations that don't lead to meets, so I changed again, usually ending messages with an invitation to exchange a few emails "with a few to meeting if we get on". I was always including a facial picture and sometimes a body-picture, but a few months later I found in the advice section on AdultFriendFinder the advice to always include a gential picture "so women can see what they're getting". Then I read somewhere about women not liking being pressured into meeting. So I changed again. And again. And someone else said that women hate getting genital pictures in their mail. And women hate getting any pictures attached to replies. And women hate getting replies without pictures. And women need to be wooed with long romantic fantasies. And you should should never say anything in a first message that doesn't directly compliment a woman. Never talk about the weather. Never leave any room for misunderstanding. A little vagueness goes a long way. Be honest. Be a fantasy. Sell yourself. Never tell women you've got an advert of your own. Never PM a woman in the forum. Only PM a woman if you've established a rapport already. Feel free to PM women to be chatty. Do this, do that, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Finally, after a lot of mature reflection and shooting steam out of my ears, I realised that it's all bollocks. People are individuals, and that includes women on swinging websites. Different people like to be approached in different ways, like to be treated in different ways. There's a few nearly-universal rules that can reduce the chance of you looking like a completely thoughtless moron, but otherwise... everyone's an individual, and that includes the single guys. Just be yourselves.
Unless your real self is a monosyllabic selfish bastard, I suppose.
Homogenous?
I don't know; obviously you can see (and taste :lickface
differences when you get close-up, but once you get onto penetrative sex, I have to say I find all women's genitals pretty-much indistinguishable. Heck, I have enough trouble working out if it's in or not, any more deeper analysis is well beyond me...
Those with a penis larger than a swollen pin might have different experiences to relate, though....
I don't know; obviously you can see (and taste :lickface
differences when you get close-up, but once you get onto penetrative sex, I have to say I find all women's genitals pretty-much indistinguishable. Heck, I have enough trouble working out if it's in or not, any more deeper analysis is well beyond me...Those with a penis larger than a swollen pin might have different experiences to relate, though....
Quote by PoloLady
So, sorry guys I did try but my attention span is just not long enough to wait for the server to open your ads.
Do what I used to do (with women's adverts, of course) - open a half-dozen each in a new window, go away and have a cup of tea or something, then come back, open a second half-dozen, and read through the first half-dozen while the second load. Repeat as necessary, rinse and wash.
Quote by 2_Dissidentz
If women would stop complaining about the size of their asses for just one second they might notice the amount of men staring at it with their tongues hanging out and pants bulging
Oh, I think most women know, but it's always been more of a contest between the women rather than a means of attracting men for sexual or romantic purposes.
Personally, dress-size isn't the first, second, third or fourteenth thing I look for in a woman, unless a woman is hideously thin or terrifyingly obese. Then I run a mile. (It's no fun at all if you're scared of breaking your lover, or of vanishing forever between two folds of fat...) But everyone's different... some women like thin birds and what's wrong with that? Just because I don't like ribcages doesn't mean everyone shouldn't. And likewise, if you only get horny for women who find it easier to roll than walk, more power to you. Variety is a wonderful thing, and besides, the more men who date women I don't find attractive means less competition for the women I do. :twisted:
Quote by marky543
It'd be interesting to tot up how many ads request VWE and VVWE.
I actually tried to do this earlier in the year. It was a much smaller proportion than I'd expected.
Mind you, that's not to say that if you happen to have a 15-inch penis, it doesn't boost your chances just a little... ;)
I've been more single this year than at any other point in my life, and I have to say that I hate and loathe it with a passion. It terrifies me to think that one day, when I'm old and infirm, the entire rest of my life will be like this, except with more pain and less money. Man is not an island, et cetera et cetera et cetera.
Don't get me wrong, I like being master of my own house, and if by some startling strike of fate I did find someone (I'd probably win the lottery in the same week), it would have to be someone who could accept that, because I'd hate to end up as a kind of Richard Bucket, trailing after his wife and tutting "yes dear" and "no dear" and hating every minute. I anticipate spending quite enough time following ridiculous orders for an unthinking mini-Hitler at work.
Ah well; c'est la vie, as the French write on their toilets.
Don't get me wrong, I like being master of my own house, and if by some startling strike of fate I did find someone (I'd probably win the lottery in the same week), it would have to be someone who could accept that, because I'd hate to end up as a kind of Richard Bucket, trailing after his wife and tutting "yes dear" and "no dear" and hating every minute. I anticipate spending quite enough time following ridiculous orders for an unthinking mini-Hitler at work.
Ah well; c'est la vie, as the French write on their toilets.
There's been several occaisions recently where I've found myself assailed by people who have somehow read what I've written and understood something completely different. I find this very difficult, because (a) the people are often well-known posters who I've previously respected, and (b) however hard I try to explain something they just don't seem to understand. What do you do? People can get quite vociferous in their defence of their initial misconceptions. Or is it me who misconceives? It's human nature that you want people to understand you; if we didn't want to communicate we wouldn't be posting, would we?
Quote by bluexxx
I say "fun" in my ads sometimes cos swinging is about fun as well as sex. I wouldn't want sex if it wasn't fun, and in swinging terms the two things must go hand in hand as far as I'm concerned.
Ah, but what if someone you'd planned to meet turned up with a frisbee and a bandminton set, and suggested a knock about in the garden? :twisted:
Quote by northwest-cpl
It was removed because a minority of people were posting twaddle with the aim of boosting their post-count.
I would imagine I posted several hundred posts on the word association game and maybe 10 times in the clock thread and therefore I assume that I am one of the people that you are talking about.
If you recognise yourself in that description - if you were posting twaddle that you knew would be of no interest to anyone with the aim of boosting your post-count - then as far as I'm concerned you are taking these things far too seriously. If you don't recognise yourself in that description, why are you assuming I'm talking about you?
Quote by northwest-cpl
I am interested to know how you know what people's motives were for posting in that thread and more specifically, what were my motives?
I don't, which is why I specifically worded my post to only include people with certain motives, so they could decide for themselves whether I'm referring to them based on their own intimate knowledge of their own motivations.
It's the moderators and the administrators of this site that seem to have drawn a connection between the post-count-on-the-post and an increase in the number of postings, not me. And as I said before, if that assessment of their opinions is wrong, I'm happy to be pulled up on it.
FWIW, I never even read the clock or word association threads. They were there, I never looked at them; they never bothered me and I never bothered them. You pays your money and you takes your choice.
Quote by northwest-cpl
To be upset that the post count is no longer visible suggests that you are as guilty of post-countitis as the supposed post count boosters.
Oh piffle, stuff and nonsense. I liked it; it was a bit of fun. Of course it didn't mean anything. But it was fun. You know, fun? Like a game of frisbee or something. Fun. Are you gonna cry because you lost a game of frisbee? Are you gonna have a ticker-tape parade because you won one? Of course not. But can a game of frisbee be fun even if it isn't serious? Of course. Am I guilty of "frisbee-itis"? It was fun watching people's post-counts rise, fun like watching next-door's baby grow or watching rust-spots form on your car. I posted a one-line lament to the post-count-on-the-post's passing, which I think is a fair reflection of its importance to me. If I'd known I was going to get this kind of ire thrown at me, or have to mount such detailed defenses of my opinions, I wouldn't have bothered. I'm sure there must be much better things I could be doing.
I don't think people should reply on condoms for birth control. They do break (and hey, if the gentle gyration of my swollen matchstick can break a condom, I'd hate to see what someone who was bigger and more vigorous can do to it!). Obviously I'm a guy, but I can't help but think it's prudent for women to use two contracteptive methods to lessen the chances of "little accidents" - condoms and the pill, or whatever.
Of course, this raises the question - what if the lady is trying to currently trying to conceive with her regular sexual partner?
Of course, this raises the question - what if the lady is trying to currently trying to conceive with her regular sexual partner?
Actually, now Mark's brought it up (blame Mark! blame Mark!), the abuse of the word 'fun' is one thing that does get on my nerves about swinging websites. There seem to be hundreds and thousands of ads, all looking for 'fun'. "Have hotel room, looking for a couple for fun." "Wnt babes 4 adlt fun 2nite." "My wife doesn't understand me; I' want a horny bitch for regular fun." All this using 'fun' as a euphemism for 'sex'... I mean, why not just say 'sex'? We're adults on a swinging website, shouldn't we be able to describe our desires using the technical terms rather than just generalising it all as 'fun'? I can understand people some people being coy about explicit references to sexual acts or intimate body-parts, but when your advert proudly displays a picture of their raging erection (looking like something that's just leaped out of a swamp in a particularly low-budget horror B-movie), how can you be too coy about describing sexual acts beside it?
Sorry, I thought it was pretty self-explanatiory. 
My logic went like this:
(a) The post count was not, in itself, harmful. In fact, I thought it was mildly interesting to glance left and see how many things people had posted. Other people's mileage will, of course, vary.
(b) It was removed because a minority of people were posting twaddle with the aim of boosting their post-count. (This is what I've judged after reading the relevent threads, feel free to pull me up on that if it's not accurate.)
=> The enjoyment of the post-count below the avatar was removed because of this minority.
When did it happen before? Here, something similar happened with the rankings - they were removed because a minority were taking them too seriously. (Again, this is what I believe based on the threads in question; if I'm wrong feel free to contradict me.) Away from here, it's a recurring pattern in life - a minority cause trouble for the majority. The majority pay more in motor insurance because of a minority that steal and vandalise cars; the majority have their travel arrangements disrupted because of a minority of terrorists; and so forth and so forth and so forth.
I'm not having a go at you or the mods - I was just making an observation that I think it's a shame that little things like the on-post display of the post-count and rankings have had to be neutered.
My logic went like this:(a) The post count was not, in itself, harmful. In fact, I thought it was mildly interesting to glance left and see how many things people had posted. Other people's mileage will, of course, vary.
(b) It was removed because a minority of people were posting twaddle with the aim of boosting their post-count. (This is what I've judged after reading the relevent threads, feel free to pull me up on that if it's not accurate.)
=> The enjoyment of the post-count below the avatar was removed because of this minority.
When did it happen before? Here, something similar happened with the rankings - they were removed because a minority were taking them too seriously. (Again, this is what I believe based on the threads in question; if I'm wrong feel free to contradict me.) Away from here, it's a recurring pattern in life - a minority cause trouble for the majority. The majority pay more in motor insurance because of a minority that steal and vandalise cars; the majority have their travel arrangements disrupted because of a minority of terrorists; and so forth and so forth and so forth.
I'm not having a go at you or the mods - I was just making an observation that I think it's a shame that little things like the on-post display of the post-count and rankings have had to be neutered.
Okay, I was reading people's pleas for more swinging-related postings in a certain locked thread, and while as a non-swinger I can't oblige, this is a post about sex and that's close enough. I was thinking about this in bed last night/this morning and couldn't quite come to a conclusion.
How compartmentalised is your sex-life from your normal life?
Reading people's adverts here and what people post here and in Let's Meet Up, I get the impression that for many people, sex is something almost entirely separate from the rest of their personalities. For a lot of people sex seems to be about the very physical sensation of friction on the genitals. Kinda like brushing your teeth; some people brush sideways and some brush up-and-down, and some use a cheap toothbrush and some use an electric toothbrush, but at the end of the day brushing your teeth is a habit not an experession of your personality. Do you see sex in the same way? Or do you see sex as an integrated part of your whole? When not having sex or thinking about having sex, is sex still a part of you or do you leave it behind like a suitcase?
Personally, I think it's still very much a part of me. Sex can be a great escape but I can't leave the rest of me behind when I'm having sex; anyone I'm in bed with has to deal with my arms and legs and personality too. I think I'm pretty-much the same person in bed as I am outside it (albeit with an erection and less clothes).
How compartmentalised is your sex-life from your normal life?
Reading people's adverts here and what people post here and in Let's Meet Up, I get the impression that for many people, sex is something almost entirely separate from the rest of their personalities. For a lot of people sex seems to be about the very physical sensation of friction on the genitals. Kinda like brushing your teeth; some people brush sideways and some brush up-and-down, and some use a cheap toothbrush and some use an electric toothbrush, but at the end of the day brushing your teeth is a habit not an experession of your personality. Do you see sex in the same way? Or do you see sex as an integrated part of your whole? When not having sex or thinking about having sex, is sex still a part of you or do you leave it behind like a suitcase?
Personally, I think it's still very much a part of me. Sex can be a great escape but I can't leave the rest of me behind when I'm having sex; anyone I'm in bed with has to deal with my arms and legs and personality too. I think I'm pretty-much the same person in bed as I am outside it (albeit with an erection and less clothes).
Quote by davej
]thank you Roger....weve tried most positions and I was just a little concerned that we had missed one and that I would need to go buy a hat ...I am relieved to find out that we have indeed done a reverse cowgirl and that the hat is not required.
Women in cowboy hats... *drool* Excuse me, I have to go, uh, :wanker:
