"Blessed Are the Cheesemakers"
"Well what's so special about the Cheesemakers?"
"Darling, I don't think it's meant to be taken literally, but as a reference to any manufacturers of dairy products"
Warming the Bed
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scotsbicouple
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Male, 41
Female, 22
0 miles · Helensburgh
Forum
Warming the Bed
Nah, nah I'm only kidding you.
Oh, well, out this door one..
I know I know, line on the left, one cross each.
Oh, well, out this door one..
I know I know, line on the left, one cross each.
Warming the Bed
It is with a heavy heart and great regret that I must post myself and angel's apologies. We were on the list, and were getting ready to go (we're only like 15 miles from Glasgow) when Angel (the missus) managed to slip whilst we were in town buying someone (yet) another pair of shoes. She managed to damage her hip and lower back, and one trip to A&E and one morphine shot later, the only place we were going was home. I could have possibly made it in myself, but I couldn't and wouldn't leave her alone when she's out of her skull just for a social night out. Real apologies to Lucy (as I said in our pm), and I guess we'll see everyone at the next munch. Sounded like everyone had a lot of fun, so we're both gutted we missed it. Glad everything went well, and we'll see everyone next time, hopefully.
Warming the Bed
I was buying a kilt for meself, or was gonna have the Missus roll me one, but alas, it has not come to pass. I've been swamped with work etc and just have had no time. Deadline is tomorrow though, so we'll still be able to come. If I'm still alive on Saturday.
See everyone we don't know there! (which is pretty much everybody. eek)
See everyone we don't know there! (which is pretty much everybody. eek)
Warming the Bed
Our confirm is in. Sorry for the lack of speed with it. We've not been around much recently, been away visiting folks, and I've a module exam to for my course at college...
Looking forward to the munch over there in Glasgow.....
Not wearing a kilt though...
Any ideas on fees etc. for the bar cost/buffet?
Looking forward to the munch over there in Glasgow.....
Not wearing a kilt though...
Any ideas on fees etc. for the bar cost/buffet?
Warming the Bed
All of our dodgy stuff (not that there's much; really need a digital camera) is on a directory in my Pictures folder.
Being me a Mac user though, I've set it to be write-only for my normal user account. It just won't open unless you know the password!
Being me a Mac user though, I've set it to be write-only for my normal user account. It just won't open unless you know the password!
Warming the Bed
As with everything in life, you pay for what you get. Tartan (proper stuff, that is) is handwoven, and takes an age to make. The kilt is then handmade from that (unless you're really into tradition, and like to roll your own, so to speak every time you put it on. If you're on the west coast and have a car, there's a really good kilt-makers in Inverary (spelling!). He'll make your kilt for you, but again, be prepared to pay the big bucks for it, since it represents a couple of solid weeks work for a true Master.
I may purchase an acrylic kilt off eBay, as they're not too shabby, on further reflection. However, getting on in Ancient Campbell (the only tartan I have the right to wear) may be tricky!
I may purchase an acrylic kilt off eBay, as they're not too shabby, on further reflection. However, getting on in Ancient Campbell (the only tartan I have the right to wear) may be tricky!
Warming the Bed
Aye, I was looking at getting a kilt, till the missus showed me how much they cost. Even if you cut out the expensive Glasgow retailers, and go to the source (usually in a tourist shack up in the Highlands) you're still talking the best part of £300 for a good kilt. Without the trimmings. Alas, until I can splash on such frivolity, it'll be a pair of black trousers and a shirt for muggins. And no clan gatherings either, more's the pity.
Although I have seen some fake ones on eBay (Acrylic not wool) going for about £30. But it's not really a kilt.
Although I have seen some fake ones on eBay (Acrylic not wool) going for about £30. But it's not really a kilt.
Warming the Bed
~Oooh. Thanks. I honestly did not expect you to say yes. Many thanks, and we'll see you at the munch.
Warming the Bed
I know what the answer probably is, since we're not really well known enough yet, but I thought I'd ask:
Any chance of an invite for meself and the missus for this one? Or shall we be waiting till the next one, presumably in the summer next year?
Any chance of an invite for meself and the missus for this one? Or shall we be waiting till the next one, presumably in the summer next year?
Warming the Bed
Quote by pleasureseeker
Good Gods! ...Think I'd have to argue sex. Unless it's Wales vs england, and we're winning.
You will be having lots of sex then
Strange thing is,earlier this year, the missus was coming on to me whilst I was watching the rugby, and I was like "Nah, get tae fuck, I'm watching Wales ANNIHILATE england, and WIN the 6 nations..."
Strange, isn't it?
Warming the Bed
Seriously speaking, as opposed to the joke of it all, do give up. If for no other reason than you don't want to die in agony, on a respirator in hospital. Both my parents die of chronic lung obstruction, caused by smoking. My Mom when I was 14, my dad last year when I was 21. I don't think I really need any more motivation to not smoke than that.
Warming the Bed
Quote by triptix
The first time I was doing really well and then an OFSTED inspection happened and I started again....
See, that's where you went wrong. You should have taken the anti-stress methods my teachers tried (My high school was so posh it was almost private, thus also fairly eccentric).
There was my englsh teacher, a raging hippie who used to smoke weed whenever she got worried. Thankfully the head OFSTED guy also smoked (tobacco) and didn't notice when he joined her for a roll-up round the back of the gym that her one smelt funny.
Then there was the head of science, who if he was feeling somewhat stressed he'd have a nip of his 'medicinal formula' which he'd brewed up in the lab. Since him and I were good friends outside school (he was an officer in my cadet sqn) I can tell you that is was at least 100% proof. He kept a hip-flask on him in OFSTED week, in case they looked through his drawer!
Failure to follow one of the above examples could turn you into my old RS (Religious Studies) teacher, who was a gibbering nut-job, with a totally irrational fear of mechanical pencils. One of my class brought one in once to show her, and she had to be excused for the day! She'd also start talking to the class and just randomly walk out the room, continuing to talk, without even breaking stride as she wandered off to the staff loos! Batty as a fruit-cake.
With regards stopping smoking, find a good friend who'll watch you as you try to give up. If he/she catches you smoking, they can hit you with the taser you'll give them. Then you'll not only have the motivation of good health, and not spending all you cash on fags, you'll also be fearing getting 10,000 volts through yer jacksy if you do smoke. Worked for two personal friends of mine (I got to wield the taser!!!
)
Warming the Bed
Good Gods! You english really like football, don't you. Personally I've never understood the obsession with a game most people I know think is only for kids.
For the record, to unconfuse those confused; I only live in Scotland (where they're not nearly as obsessed with football), with my Scots missus. I'm actually welsh.
Now, rugby or sex, that's a whole different question. Kinda like Sex or Violence (which if Pontypridd playing it usually is!!). Think I'd have to argue sex. Unless it's Wales vs england, and we're winning.
For the record, to unconfuse those confused; I only live in Scotland (where they're not nearly as obsessed with football), with my Scots missus. I'm actually welsh.
Now, rugby or sex, that's a whole different question. Kinda like Sex or Violence (which if Pontypridd playing it usually is!!). Think I'd have to argue sex. Unless it's Wales vs england, and we're winning.
Warming the Bed
I would like to humbly apologise for my earlier comment which I thoroughly retract. I honestly did not, in any way whatsoever mean for the post to be considered reasonable, intelligent, or even legible, these being hallmarks of my other half (who one day WILL post on here, just her machine's in the shop getting fixed, and she hates my laptop's keyboard).
That chocolateknob should find my post thus is most distressing, and I humbly apologise to those members who may have thought I was on the wrong side here. Many many apologies, and please feel reassured in the knowledge that any future posts I may make will be complete and utter bollocks. Much like this one!
That chocolateknob should find my post thus is most distressing, and I humbly apologise to those members who may have thought I was on the wrong side here. Many many apologies, and please feel reassured in the knowledge that any future posts I may make will be complete and utter bollocks. Much like this one!
Warming the Bed
What I think it shows (and I'm being backed up on this by HRH the Missus) is that there are a shitload of guys that register on here (probably married and doing-it-behind-the-back jobs) in the vain hope of a quick fuck, and do nothing other than pm couples asking for said quick fuck. Most of the genuine guys, and virtually all the ladies and couples don't just advertise with an ad. They take the time to get known in the forum and chatroom and get their shagging from that, the ad being more a profile page than a means of contact. Nothing to do with a difference in sex drive between men and women. Merely women are usually more social than most guys (generalising here) and less likely to try and do absolutely anything needed to get their end away. Obviously there are decent guys on here. But they're the ones that are reading this,or in the forum. Not the ones that just post an ad, then go around emailing couples and ladies (usually ones who's ad's say "no single men") trying to get a quickie.
As you may have noticed, I've recently had to deal with a load of single men emails. Apologies for any bias that this may have caused.
As you may have noticed, I've recently had to deal with a load of single men emails. Apologies for any bias that this may have caused.
Warming the Bed
I've worn one before (as well as a tourniquet) and it's ok I guess. Get's a bit painful and doesn't really do all that much. Mind you I am only 22. I've just been informed by the other half that it's quite a good thing.
But on the piercing thing:
Anyone comes near my old fella with a needle and they're gonna need serious surgery to remove an embedded foreign object from their eyeball. Maybe their prostate if I'm really pissed off!
But on the piercing thing:
Anyone comes near my old fella with a needle and they're gonna need serious surgery to remove an embedded foreign object from their eyeball. Maybe their prostate if I'm really pissed off!
Warming the Bed
Nah. You didn't.
We've not gotten to a single thing so far. If we're considered well-known by lucyweebaps before next month, we'll go along to the Scottish Munch. If not we'll await the next one. It will still be a bit nerve-racking since we won't really know anyone, and neither me nor the missus drink much, so just getting pissed is not really an option. Although I could, but she wouldn't be too chuffed, methinks.
Anyone else going to the Scottish Munch as their first time?
We've not gotten to a single thing so far. If we're considered well-known by lucyweebaps before next month, we'll go along to the Scottish Munch. If not we'll await the next one. It will still be a bit nerve-racking since we won't really know anyone, and neither me nor the missus drink much, so just getting pissed is not really an option. Although I could, but she wouldn't be too chuffed, methinks.
Anyone else going to the Scottish Munch as their first time?
Warming the Bed
Freckled,may I humbly suggest the purchase of an Apple Macintosh machine, such as we use here (iBookG4 for him, eMac for her, for the SH geek crowd). Amongst the many fine features, such as no viruses+spyware, UNIX security and stability, Mac OS X also features something very very useful for you;
Built-in spell checking in every program, system wide. Including web-browser.
Hope this is of help to you....
Built-in spell checking in every program, system wide. Including web-browser.
Hope this is of help to you....
Warming the Bed
Gadget boy here. Apple nerd (typing this on 12" iBookG4, listening to iPod Shuffle). But scarily enough, after introducing her to Apple gear, the missus is almost as bad, if not worse. She's now got an eMacG4 , and even worse, she's got a 20Gig 4th Gen iPod. More than me!
Warming the Bed
LOL. I'm around too. Had some work to catch up on (I do 3D animation at college/freelance so I work when the mood comes to me) and wanted to browse the cheap shit on eBay. Was gonna go into the Chat area, but all you get at this time of the morning is single english guys wanting a blowjob or some shit.
Warming the Bed
See that's why I just let sort it out for me. Apple spent a lot of effort making sure the junk mail filters in were pretty good. Although sometimes I go for a trawl through my Junk folder. Some of them porn ones are quite good, and the 419'ers (the Nigerian legal codename for fraud; that's what the scam mails are called) are always good for a laugh.
With regards viruses, since there are no viruses for Mac OS X, at all, I never usually bother myself. I have to laugh when I get sent e-mails with .pif or .scr or .att files that windows users can't see.
With regards viruses, since there are no viruses for Mac OS X, at all, I never usually bother myself. I have to laugh when I get sent e-mails with .pif or .scr or .att files that windows users can't see.
Warming the Bed
Hi there, from "along a wata" on the coast here. Not actually a native, coming from the Valleys of South Wales, but I moved here via england. I just keep going north. Eventually I'll probably end up in Norway! Anyways, I rambles on, so welcome to SH!
On and related note:
So that'd be "broken bottle'a'bucky that'll A'll chib yer with" versus "a junkie-needle, cause A'll fuckin have yer, ya wee puffy prick" :D
On and related note:
Quote by simoncomesaround
Ah the old argument... Maybe we should have an intercity duell... Choose the weapon or weapons in your case
So that'd be "broken bottle'a'bucky that'll A'll chib yer with" versus "a junkie-needle, cause A'll fuckin have yer, ya wee puffy prick" :D
Warming the Bed
For some reason, some people truly excel in stupidity. Not your average run-of-the-mill 'd'oh' moment, but a truly stupendous act, that in any other field of endeavour would be akin to genius. Not that I'm anyone to talk, but at least I don't do things like pm-ming the person you're making a nuisance of yourself to, asking for a favour.
I haven't, and won't be asking for an invite, until such time as i think me and missus have made ourselves at least passably well known here. So we'll possibly miss this one, but hey, no biggy, there's always another one!
Fiver bet the above was a single male!
I haven't, and won't be asking for an invite, until such time as i think me and missus have made ourselves at least passably well known here. So we'll possibly miss this one, but hey, no biggy, there's always another one!
Fiver bet the above was a single male!
Warming the Bed
Trouble is though, when you factor in the fact that most of these people don't live anywhere near you, and then factor in that we're a bi-couple, means there's about 3 people on here! But hey, at the moment we care more about getting ourselves known in the community, and making some friends. Hugely fun swinging sex can come later.
Warming the Bed
Me (Math; male) from about 15, no more than 4 months.
Her (The Missus) said "about 3 years since I lost it, and I'm not saying when that was!"
Her (The Missus) said "about 3 years since I lost it, and I'm not saying when that was!"
Warming the Bed
As I've gotten older, I've noticed I'm getting a little more extreme in some of my views (So since I'm only 22, better get me that brenn gun and SS uniform for my 30th 
). So apologies for any offence caused, it is after all, only a joke....
1) The Ned-Non-Proliferation (Scotland) 2005 Act (aka The Chav-Non-Proliferation (2005) Act in England and Wales). Clearly states that the act of being a 'ned' (or chav) or committing any acts in the prohibited list is punishable by life in prison, re-offenders get immediate execution by firing squad (tickets for places in firing squad to be sold on eBay, proceeds to charity).
Prohibited List:
a) Wearing 'Burberry'.
b) Wearing items of sports apparel when not engaging in sports or
related activites. E.g Nike baseball caps, Adidas tracksuits.
Anything bearing the name "Tommy Hillfinger".
c) Drinking "Buckfast" or any cheap cider, floor-polish etc.
d) Driving a vehicle with any plastic bolted on for non-practical
purposes.
2) The Sensible Child Names (2005) Act.
States that all children must be names with approved names, given on government list. Names such as "Bianca", "Tiffney" "Rickee" "Chelsee" "Mersaydees" warrant immediate imprisonment for parents, renaming for victim (child).
3) The Animal Cruelty (2005) Act.
Anyone caught committing acts of cruelty towards any species of animal (human through to mouse) shall have their genitalia burned off with a blow-torch whilst being made to listen to "The Spice Girls".
4) The Shitty Music (2005) Act.
Anyone caught listening to, distributing, producing shitty music shall be forced to listen to a loop of said music at near-deafning volume constantly for 4 years. Per Song. List of "Shitty Music" to be drawn up by popular consent every month. Automatically to include "Spice Girls" and anything else that can be described as "girl group" or "boy group", as well as anything "hip-hop".
5) The Fuck Bill Gates Up (2005) Act.
States that usage, sale and production of "Windows" in any form is illegal. All computers to have either linux, unix or better yet, MacOSX installed. Steve Jobs to be gifted Bill Gates money and house. Bill Gates to be locked up and made to use Windows95 to do everything (from ordering his food, emptying toilet, turning on lights etc.).
6) The Soundless Child (2005) Act.
States all children to be fitted with a 'silencing' device for when in public. All persons over 18 to be issued universal remote controls.
and last but not least, my personal favourite:
7) The Math Campbell Deification (2005) Act.
Declares Math Campbell to be a living deity, and that all laws, worldwide do not apply to him. Particularly the firearms, murder and bank robbing ones.
That's me, I think. Would you excuse me a second, there's some policeman at my door. Apparently they want to talk to me about something I posted on a web-s?><(*%£^%$£$£$ (*& *&(*&( ^&%&^@£*@(*£&(@£......
). So apologies for any offence caused, it is after all, only a joke....1) The Ned-Non-Proliferation (Scotland) 2005 Act (aka The Chav-Non-Proliferation (2005) Act in England and Wales). Clearly states that the act of being a 'ned' (or chav) or committing any acts in the prohibited list is punishable by life in prison, re-offenders get immediate execution by firing squad (tickets for places in firing squad to be sold on eBay, proceeds to charity).
Prohibited List:
a) Wearing 'Burberry'.
b) Wearing items of sports apparel when not engaging in sports or
related activites. E.g Nike baseball caps, Adidas tracksuits.
Anything bearing the name "Tommy Hillfinger".
c) Drinking "Buckfast" or any cheap cider, floor-polish etc.
d) Driving a vehicle with any plastic bolted on for non-practical
purposes.
2) The Sensible Child Names (2005) Act.
States that all children must be names with approved names, given on government list. Names such as "Bianca", "Tiffney" "Rickee" "Chelsee" "Mersaydees" warrant immediate imprisonment for parents, renaming for victim (child).
3) The Animal Cruelty (2005) Act.
Anyone caught committing acts of cruelty towards any species of animal (human through to mouse) shall have their genitalia burned off with a blow-torch whilst being made to listen to "The Spice Girls".
4) The Shitty Music (2005) Act.
Anyone caught listening to, distributing, producing shitty music shall be forced to listen to a loop of said music at near-deafning volume constantly for 4 years. Per Song. List of "Shitty Music" to be drawn up by popular consent every month. Automatically to include "Spice Girls" and anything else that can be described as "girl group" or "boy group", as well as anything "hip-hop".
5) The Fuck Bill Gates Up (2005) Act.
States that usage, sale and production of "Windows" in any form is illegal. All computers to have either linux, unix or better yet, MacOSX installed. Steve Jobs to be gifted Bill Gates money and house. Bill Gates to be locked up and made to use Windows95 to do everything (from ordering his food, emptying toilet, turning on lights etc.).
6) The Soundless Child (2005) Act.
States all children to be fitted with a 'silencing' device for when in public. All persons over 18 to be issued universal remote controls.
and last but not least, my personal favourite:
7) The Math Campbell Deification (2005) Act.
Declares Math Campbell to be a living deity, and that all laws, worldwide do not apply to him. Particularly the firearms, murder and bank robbing ones.
That's me, I think. Would you excuse me a second, there's some policeman at my door. Apparently they want to talk to me about something I posted on a web-s?><(*%£^%$£$£$ (*& *&(*&( ^&%&^@£*@(*£&(@£......
Warming the Bed
Angel (that's the missus) loves to have her ears done as well....
Exactly the same as above, just like a cat...
Quite sweet really.
I on the other hand love my neck caressed. 'Specially the back of the neck. I'm anyones at that point.
To be fair though, I'm anyone's anyway.
Exactly the same as above, just like a cat...
Quite sweet really.
I on the other hand love my neck caressed. 'Specially the back of the neck. I'm anyones at that point.
To be fair though, I'm anyone's anyway.
