smokerjim's Profile

1 Aug 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
Better hide then, don't want him setting that Smoking Muff on to me, she's as barmy as a fruitcake!

I'm innocent !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm a delicate little flower !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Debs just spat out her coffie over me key bourd
I'm with you Debs, in fact in the words of my own dear "innocent", "delicate, little flower"...HAH!!!

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31 Jul 2005

Please, can we got off the subject of all things pyro - accidental or otherwise - any embarresment is sufficient, just a bit less burning - please!
Thank you M2PU - remind me to buy you a pint when I see you at a munch :thumbup: drinkies

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by bluexxx
:shock:

Reminds me of the time my grandad sent his armchair alight by dropping his butt down the side of the chair rather than the ash tray. As he knew my nan would go mad he skulked into the kitchen and got a cup of water, then, saying nothing, poured the water down the side of the chair......... trying to do it without nan noticing, even though she was sat about 2 feet away from him :lol: :lol: :lol:
Class.
And yes she did go mad.
Seems that smoking is indeed bad for your health :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hold on, hold on! This is the confessional - with your friendly padre, Father Murphy, in attendance. I'm here to hear your transgressions, mistakes and plain old confessions.
It's just not on that you dob someone else in it, instead!Still fuggin' funny, mind :lol:

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31 Jul 2005

On my way home today, with Smoking Muff beside me and Dreamer Helen sat behind, we were blatting along at naughty-ish speed ( but in line with other vehicles ) and I tossed my fag out of the wide open window.
Few minutes later. I could smell burning rolleyes

check the dash and see nothing out the ordinary, phew, but kept my eye on it, confused

looked at the traffic going past and couldn't think what might be burning oil - even the van in front was fairly smoke free dunno

even looked around to see if any farmers were burning the stubble in their fields - still drawing a blank.
I asked SM and DH about it and we all agreed about the smell - but none of us could locate the source. This continued for a few minutes then in the corner of my eye, I noticed a thick billow of grey smoke originating from......yep, my fugging coat pocket! After unsuccessfully trying to pat it out I quickly pulled over to the hard shoulder and shoved my bottle of Lucozade Sport in and sprayed a large shot in to put out the charring! ( Another excellent reason to love bottles with "sport" caps - precision minor fire extinguishing! )
I was understandably a little hacked off - I only got the jacket last week ( didn't cost a penny, and it was legal ) - but it could have been a lot worse. However it's time for you to pay for you happy chuckling at my schadenfreude - surely it's time for you to 'fess up to any incidents of poor judgement, bad luck or plain old fashioned stupidity that can return me to a happy state, and know that I am not the only one lol

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by EagerSlut
There's merit in the idea but how do you remember all that?
I'd have to write the code down on a piece of paper and when I saw someone wearing a pin I'd have to go up to them, pull it out

and the bit of paper I would hope, ES :rascal: :small-print: :silly: :rascal:

Quote by EagerSlut
ops: :oops: :oops: and try to work out their orientation! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Wouldn't it just be easier to say hi to them and take it from there? :undecided:
:rascal: :rascal: :rascal:

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31 Jul 2005

I had so much fun I forgot to buy even one! Oh well, paintball soon ( if I pay for it redface

) and Leicester in a few more weeks! :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by postie

Yay ! But is Dino up for joining the English Skirt Brigade? There's going to be a gang of Sassenachs in Kilts....

Skirt !! how dare ya Postie smackbottom

Now, I have been thinking about this.... I would say long and hard, but i daren't, so here's my conclusion regarding the skirt / kilts thingy...
If it's worn by a scotsman,it's a kilt.
If you are refering to an item worn by a scotsman that looks like a tartan skirt,it's a kilt.
If you are refering to an item being worn by an Englishman that looks like a tartan skirt worn by a Scotsman ,then it's still a kilt.
If you are an Englishman, dressing up in a item that looks like a tartan skirt that would be worn by a Scotsman, then you are wearing a skirt.
It's all a bit "Carry on up the Khyber".... but I think the 1st Battalion of the English Skirt Brigade( the Sassenachs) has a nice ring to it...
and we wouldn't want to offend any of our SH brothers in the land of the Scots who are really wearing Kilts... (especially if it's chunky_love!!! )
So theE.S B who so far have said they'll be going in a kilt....
david48 , Wishmaster, Smokerjim, Dino, and me...
As postie has put me in it, I'd best get mine ( and Smoking Muff's ) name down, but if I am brassic nearer the time I may regretfully pull out - I hope not, I want to set up I company of the ESB ( I for Irish ) wink

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by postie
I'd love to have a piss up of a wake like smokerjims, i'd just be really annoyed not being there...

I better start choking more fags down then, if I want to make sure I croak before ya! Before anyone says that is too blase, disrespectful, etc, etc. Sorry if I put noses out - but you live, you die. If in between you create life, or someone else makes sense of theirs with your help, more power to you - as long as YOU enjoy yours

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by Geordiecpl2001
Just thought of something............Could the agony aunt "Dr Catherine Hood" actually be a member of this site?
So will the real "Dr Catherine Hood" please reveal herself!!!
(yes, we've seen the film Sparticus, we don't need EVERYONE saying "I'm Dr Hood", though we're sure the standard SH humour will shine through).
John & Shel

I think if Dr Hood is a member of this site ( though we will never know for sure ) then the professional in her would send the ignorant here for enlightenment - but the swinger in her would keep schtum to make sure she doesn't have to deal with or even see any of the trolls that are gonna come stomping through the doors.
Oh well, what's done is done - and genuine people will hopefully join and add to the experience :thumbup:

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31 Jul 2005

As some of you will know I am married to smoking muff, and she is black - but what I go for ( as I have realised recently ) is I might be initially attracted to the physicallity, but 5 mins with the personality usually has a more lasting impression. To be frank, I can spend all day talking with one of SM's sisters yet avoid at all costs another.

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by bluexxx
Oh yes, and how could I forget... Dammie.... walking up and down the bar in my 5 inch red stillettos..............

Damn! ( no pun intended ) I fuggin' missed it!

Quote by bluexxx
But I could drink you under the table any time :haha:

I bet Smoking Muff could drink you ( or anyone else for that matter ) under the table and into the cellar!!! Don't ask me though - I am the original lightweight redface

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31 Jul 2005

Do the "stars" know of their moment of infamy? lol

:lol: :lol:

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by x-man0223
Ice Pie and his english skirt...
Smokerjim and his black kilt.

So how come mine's a skirt and his is a kilt?
I'll have you know that skirt was made from the remains of real Scotsmen! lol

It's the size of the sporran - granted yours was fur and mine plain leather - but yours was the size of a purse, and mine was like a suitcase!!! LOL
and cool you looked in it to mate
Thank you sir - and apologies for not having a good chat with you last night, and forgetting you today redface

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
Ice Pie and his english skirt...
Smokerjim and his black kilt.

So how come mine's a skirt and his is a kilt?
I'll have you know that skirt was made from the remains of real Scotsmen! lol

It's the size of the sporran - granted yours was fur and mine plain leather - but yours was the size of a purse, and mine was like a suitcase!!! LOL

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31 Jul 2005

Where do I start? Forgiveness is requested in advance for omissions, but the filofax ( smoking muff is asleep )
Clare and Steve - thank you starting the organisation of last night's munch - true shame you weren't there to enjoy the result
Sarah and Dammy - thank you for picking up the baton, and making it a triumph! BTW Sarah, after what we talked about...sorry again redface

Ice Pie - for the superb ( and collectable ) name badges :thumbup:
My bar - thank you for welcoming us to enter with the tills empty and the bar full - hopefully we managed to reverse that equation
And in particular order it was a joy to meet at last or see again Kaz Swallows ( better looking than your avatar kiss

, Sir Lee, Blue ( not as scary as I expected - but still daunting ), JudyTV ( sorry I forgot to buy you a drink, but I will still bow to your staggering intellect ), Vix, Reese, Jas ( loved the corset.... worship

to Vix ) Tim ( where was Dr Frank N. Furter? ), Horny Red and Dino ( please Dino for both our sakes, keep HR from my mrs - we don't want them swapping information! ) tattyxpx, Charlotte the Damsel and all the ladies I snogged - :bounce: -, Debbiewebs and Mrwebs ( good to see you ) Fred aka Medic1 - I still owe you at least 1 pint of shandy!, Sexysteph - thank you for reminding me of what I told you last night :doh: see you in Leicester! Postie I should have made more time for a proper chat. Happy Cats, what can I say...no seriously, what can I say? Then at least I can put it into a separate post lol

. Tune Essence - what a top man, and you deserve to tap me for a pint, 'cos I didn't know it was your first munch! Salt and Pepper, lovely to meet you two. Love Commando - don't know about the moshpit, but I'll give it a go in me kilt and boots.
Apologies for any and all I have missed - feel free to fire off accusatory PMs, and I will suck up and beg forgiveness in a thoroughly shameless manner- LOL
The important thing for me, is, whether I spoke to you or not, you all made this entire weekend everything and more than I wanted or hoped it to be. Thank you.
bar name changed in edit - sorry

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by easy
Needs "wobbly" in front of "Munch" IMHO. :P

There's a man that's seen Dammy at a few munches, then! rotflmao

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by Silk and Big G
Ice, can you stick a poll up

Up what?
Silk races to get her rubber gloves and vasoline!
I petrified to hear the ( possible ) answer - but, prey tell, why would you need those items? :scared: :scared:

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31 Jul 2005

Quote by Ice Pie
Ice, can you stick a poll up

Up what?

:gagged: :gagged: :gagged: :gagged: :gagged: :gagged: bolt

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31 Jul 2005

Dave and Alex, thank you from me and Smoking Muff - it was a cracking end to a fantastic night, and the mugs of tea were fantastic!!!! Thank you once again - and remind me to get you both a drink next time we meet :thumbup: drinkies

Quote by goodtimez
Dave Notts thanx for walking 3 miles to meet us when we got the only taxi driver in Notts that had never heard of your address! lol

BTW goodtimez - me and smoking muff found him and his idiot mate that both did not have a clue - and the third needed a phone call for directions!!!

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31 Jul 2005

Ice, can you stick a poll up - or is that too crass? Either way, I'd want to vote yes lol

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31 Jul 2005

Spot on Serendipity - I have a work e-mail addy, and a personal one. I don't care who knows what I do in me spare time, but I won't use the work addy for anything but work - simply, they take up enough of my time as it is, and what I do outside hours should have fugg all to do with them, so I won't give 'em a chance!

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29 Jul 2005

Quote by bunnycpl
All the proof you ever needed that god is in fact a MAN ] !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HA!!!!!Try telling me Ian Paisley is a Catholic - I might belive you then!

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29 Jul 2005

OK, I'll be the mug.....Beef Bayonet, Mutton Musket, Lamb Cannon, Tummy Truncheon, Belly Banana
But for a specific name, ask the wifey - she will gleefully tell you as laughs confused

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29 Jul 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
I'm lucky, in that I have the memory of a goldfish and therefore can reread books and still not remember the plot or ending. One that I am rereading for the umpteenth time at the moment is Day of the Jackal - excellent!

OI!!! Yer fugging sly bas*ard, jacking up yer post count by posting the same thing twice - I got yer sussed :twisted: lol

I know, another crap joke!
There's nowt I can teach you....lol

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29 Jul 2005

:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: worship

:worship:

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29 Jul 2005

Excuse any unintentional crudity - but are you up on blocks this week? dunno

:dunno:

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29 Jul 2005

Quote by Roger 666
Yeah Ive also been dealing with Aeina, she sent me the following:
sorry I took so long to get back - had a sudden holiday - back now !
I'm trying to fix something - are you OK for the next few weeks ?
Im online at 8 - 9 most nights - take it from there ??
Aeina
Great eh????
Adrian

Good luck to you, and I hope you can bring her to a munch some day to prove the cynics wrong - but until then, Ive got to join them and advise that you don't hold your breath.

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29 Jul 2005

Quote by PlymstockSteve
Without sounding dead boring,sounds like you've stretched your of the few things you can do apart from getting surgery is to build up the leg the quads and teardrop on the inside of your leg just above the makes your knee more stable by supporting the weakness but doesn't get rid of the problem
Could be an even better reason to work-out in the best possible way.

Best of luck with it either way.

Steve, I know from painful experience, that a dislocated kneecap ( patella ) is unmistakably just that. The sight of the patella creating a bulge at a right angle to the joint is a stoater of a clue - and after the first time you usually get the knack of correctly diagnosing it in the future ( and unless I am mistaken ( a possibility, I know ) Kit-Off did mention at the start of this thread that she had not broken some kind of dislocation cherry.

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29 Jul 2005

Quote by niceguysdoexist
Kit awwww I didn't realise you really needed a hug :therethere: :therethere:
Hope thats gone someway to easing your pain....
Now smoker jim, on the other hand, is a real shit(even if he did roll about laughing at his last post)

I cant say anything nasty about smokerjim as he has come over to my house and gave me a hug. Thanks sweety kiss

I don't know .. you hurt your knee and smoke jim gets to hug you . I think he's got the better end of the deal there ..tell him to fix his own
Kit-Off, cheque's in the post, ok? BTW you do accept cheques from the Bank of Bungee, don't you?
nice guy, there is a simple way to turn me into the most dangerous man in the world - give me some tools, and tell me to fix whatever is broken. Kit-Off knows this and that's why she offered to do it for me - for the safety of the world!!!

:rotflmao:

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29 Jul 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
I'm lucky, in that I have the memory of a goldfish and therefore can reread books and still not remember the plot or ending. One that I am rereading for the umpteenth time at the moment is Day of the Jackal - excellent!

OI!!! Yer fugging sly bas*ard, jacking up yer post count by posting the same thing twice - I got yer sussed :twisted: lol

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