Smokerjim's Forum Posts | Swinging Heaven

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smokerjim

Over 90 days ago

Bi-curious Male, 50

0 miles · Kent

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4 Aug 2005

Quote by Kit
glass number 3 going down nicely !!
and you should see the size of my glasses

you bluddy bragging again rolleyes

rolleyes

lol

you bluudy jealous again? :roll: :lol:
Might be :lol: :lol: :lol:
Come on over to our gaff, I got an enamel pint mug ( useful tomorrow for your coffee ) and smoking muff has got a wine glass that takes a bottle of wine! Then we can see who's jealous!!!!! cool

cool

If you are making coffee tomorrow Jim sweetie - I am on my way wink

wink

Be a pleasure, Kit kiss

kiss

but get here before I go to bed @ 11:30pm, so I can show where it all is - I doubt you want me to wake you at 6:30am, do you?
Only got instant - but we do have a two cup, stove top espresso jug, so if you bring your own grounds, you can have fresh coffee! :bounce: :bounce:

4 Aug 2005

Quote by Kit
glass number 3 going down nicely !!
and you should see the size of my glasses

you bluddy bragging again rolleyes

rolleyes

lol

you bluudy jealous again? :roll: :lol:
Might be :lol: :lol: :lol:
Come on over to our gaff, I got an enamel pint mug ( useful tomorrow for your coffee ) and smoking muff has got a wine glass that takes a bottle of wine! Then we can see who's jealous!!!!! cool

cool

4 Aug 2005

Quote by Kit
glass number 3 going down nicely !!
and you should see the size of my glasses

you bluddy bragging again rolleyes

rolleyes

lol

you bluudy jealous again? :roll: :lol:

4 Aug 2005

Can't drink - driving tomorrow ( driving a 7.5 tonne lorry is scary enough when tired - but at least I'd keep my licence ) But I want to give you this Tatty.... kiss

kiss

:therethere: :kiss: :therethere: - and now I think of it you owe me one - so I'll give you one now, and you can owe me two for the next time we meet.... passionkiss

passionkiss

silly

assionkiss: .
I really hope things get better for you soon, though, :therethere:

4 Aug 2005

Quote by steanrachy
u mst crtnly hav freckle bird spk soon bi 4 now lol pmsl an all that text spk shiaaaaat.....

Please do me ( and others ) a favour! Use plain English, not text speak. I am not dyslexic, but others on this site are, and for me, it makes it harder to understand what you are trying to say. Text speak is fine on a mobile, where one is limited to the space they have for their message - on a forum, like this, no such restriction applies, and the attitude is " If you cannot be bothered to type something in English ( even if it is mis-spelled by dyslexia ) then why should I be bothered to try and read it? " Like a lot of things in life....treat others as you would want to be treated - and text speak is a bug-bear for a lot of people, and I have reached my limit.
Thank you.

4 Aug 2005

Quote by debz4u
sure id go why should kids have all the fun... i want a shag train instead of a ghost train be in the dark hands everywhere And come out smiling not screeming hehe

What would be wrong with you coming out screaming? wink

wink

4 Aug 2005

The level of paranoia in Government, security forces and associated agencies are never acknowledged at their true level - especially in the midst of crisis. Yesterday I saw 2 Apache ( ground attack ) helicopters fly overhead ( in Wembley, NW London ), and in 27 years of living in London I never saw any millitary aviation over London. So far attacks have been limited to the centre of London - but the aforementioned "they" do not know where else could get hit. On previous experience ( IRA ), it could be anywhere - but this time around it is a totally unrelated M.O., and I would guess that some of "them" feel privately that they have nothing to do but guess, and react to anything unusual - like some "nob" ( apologies to NIL - never met him, but if I was in the copper's shoes, that is one name I would think of ) traipsing over the fields, and then walking up and down the trailers in an unusual manner, which TBF isin't normal.
Ramble over.....for now! redface

redface

4 Aug 2005

Quote by Lovecommando

ahem!
C x

Wow! What a walk. Doesn't DB wear them well!
Thanks Calista, that's made my day. :thumbup:
LC
Has he got a pair of steel toe-capped ones for work - it's like he's a natural blink

blink

:blink:

4 Aug 2005

Just got to catch this up after being away for a few days so I'm bumping this to see the response!

4 Aug 2005

Once in a blue moon ( usually when there has been no nookie for a good while ) he earns the name of "Diamond Cutter" - or if I want to be crude..."Cunt-buster"!

4 Aug 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
for all you peeps out there that want to see Ice's impersonation

enjoy :lol: :lol:

Better fess up before you post the pic up of me, beside Ice, giving it just as much as he was! And it was for me one of the highlights ( 1 of 100's!!! ) - the moment I heard the first"Hi-ya-hee" I instantly thought of Missy as my legs propelled me vertically

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :silly:
you no i am soooo glad you put this up babes ......... i have a smile on me face since with the memouries of it ..........you nutter Ice and jim !!........i about pissed me self when you too got up and danced ROTFLMAO
When I see MISSY, I will have to smackbottom

smackbottom

and then

kiss

:therethere: for causing me to leap up with my mind not in control.

3 Aug 2005

Sorry to say this, Wishy, but I met my soul mate ( smoking muff ) long before either of us started swinging - but we had always had an open attitude to sex ( despite strong matriarcal homes with heavy religious tendencies ) with her being more open in a practical sense and me being more theoretical, but over time she has shown me the way and left me to do it if I chose.
What worked ( and still does ) for us, is we spent over six years together before we had any outside sexual relations - and for the greater part of that time there was a lot of talking between us. This means IMHO that we trust each other implicitly - she may fuck other people, just as I may do, but at the end of the night, she is in my arms, just as mine are holding her.
In short, we had a very strong foundation, and anything we do now strengthens our relationship, for me that is my ( sexual, at least ) definition of soul mate. It is so fantastic to have, that I am delighted for you that you have found your soul mate ( current problems and strains not with standing, Wishy ) - and if I had 3 wishes from a genie, then letting everyone in the world to have their soulmate for the rest of their lives, would be more use than world peace.
Sorry for the ramble. redface

redface

1 Aug 2005

I'd tell them it's a member's badge from a website forum I'm on - family would get the Christopher Brookmyre forum - everyone else ( and some family ) would get sent here, told to join and enjoy the social atmosphere ( forget the free love and rampant shagging! )

1 Aug 2005

Quote by onlyme1981
Just remembered something Angel Chat said to me:
AC: I thought you might of been a bit of a minger
Me: Oh......really?
AC: But don't worry, you're not!
Oh and the sight of DB walking around in Blue's heels was very funny!

:shock:

Definately not a minger at all, I'd have willingly snogged you but didn't want to scare you off for your first munch,
I'll be sure to pounce on you next time so be forewarned ;)
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
xxxxxx
richardm
Are you forming a queue? Onlyme - sorry I didn't take a bit more time to talk to you on your first munch, but I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, and I bet you a bottle of wine you have already put your name down for another munch!
lol

lol

redface

:lol:

surprised

ops: :lol: :oops: Don't know whether to laugh or get all embarassed (sp?)!
Thanks for the kind words RichardM and Smoker Jim.
Smoker Jim, you owe me a bottle of wine...I haven't yet put my name down for any more munches.... not that I don't want to, just need to sort out the finances.
Coming from "down south" it's quite expensive travelling all around the country to meet up with you lot (meant in the nicest possible way)! biggrin

biggrin

Fair do's - as soon as I posted it, I checked what you had been posting, and found nothing in a munch threadsince your Notts munch posts! :doh: Let me know what you'd like - red / white / old world / new or any particular one you want.

1 Aug 2005

Quote by DreamerHelen
Hello Helen, can you add me and smoking muff to the list, please :bounce:
meat2pleaseu? Looks like you are gonna get that pint now!

You are more than welcome hun......try not to ignite anything this time please.... wink

wink

I am going to get beaten with that stick for a looong time, aren't I? Still, I can enjoy it! BTW gissa light DH!

1 Aug 2005

Quote by meat2pleaseu
I want a swinging heaven pin
how does one get on?e

one can start by not pretending one
ain't from tipton and start talkin propa rotflmao

rotflmao

OOOOOOOOOOHH! Handbags at dawn, is it? Brummie fight! Brummie fight! Brummie fight!
Birminghams 'darn sarf'
15 miles from loverly posh Wolverhampton and about
8 miles from skanky Tipton
Hey, I got a simpler definition - tell me what you think...It's all North of Watford.

1 Aug 2005

The wife calls it "Walls Rhino Murphy" Don't bother asking me - send all PMs direct to Smoking Muff. Thx :thumbup:
BTW, if anyone gets an answer - can you forward it on to me please? lol

lol

1 Aug 2005

Quote by lucyweebaps
I'll add you both smokerjim
let me know nearer the time if you can't make it hon ..

Thanks for that Lucy, will let you know if it all goes Pete :thumbup:

1 Aug 2005

Quote by meat2pleaseu
glad i didn't post the story about the day we boloxed things up at work and set fire to that big factory, 20 fire engines called out, the street shut and the surrounding industrial estate evacuated- all while i was 2000 miles away pissed up in a beach bar.
if i'd have posted that i wouldn't be going to swinger heaven :bounce:
a narrow escape for me

You have already posted a non-fire related tale - your place in the great play-room in the sky is assured, so please continue :twisted: biggrin

biggrin

1 Aug 2005

Quote by meat2pleaseu
I want a swinging heaven pin
how does one get on?e

one can start by not pretending one
ain't from tipton and start talkin propa rotflmao

rotflmao

OOOOOOOOOOHH! Handbags at dawn, is it? Brummie fight! Brummie fight! Brummie fight!

1 Aug 2005

Hello Helen, can you add me and smoking muff to the list, please :bounce:
meat2pleaseu? Looks like you are gonna get that pint now!

1 Aug 2005

Quote by tattyxpx
it was squeecky... thats all i'm saying....
:gagged: :gagged: :gagged: :gagged:

POSTIE!!!! C'mon man - spill the beans what is this she refers to?!!!! And don't try to cop out of it, by saying you was asleep :twisted:

1 Aug 2005

Quote by firehott00001
As some of you will know I am married to smoking muff, and she is black -

she is not is she :shock: :shock: more blue in my case :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
she was blue coz she was sitting next to me and debbie u were blue also ;0
MikeC
I wasn't blue - my kilt was very warm!!!
looked like a few blue things going on in the chair though lol cool

cool

To quote my wife in another thread..."I'm innocent!" I am afraid that I have no idea of what you are saying.... dunno

dunno

bolt

1 Aug 2005

Quote by tattyxpx
Anyone who was at Daves short of a pair of sunglasses ops: :oops:

They might be mine pebbs.... :oops:
and... i aint come across ma new toy yet neither :oops:
dunno

dunno

Prey tell more.... :twisted: :twisted:

1 Aug 2005

Quote by MikeC
As some of you will know I am married to smoking muff, and she is black -

she is not is she :shock: :shock: more blue in my case :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
she was blue coz she was sitting next to me and debbie u were blue also ;0
MikeC
I wasn't blue - my kilt was very warm!!!

1 Aug 2005

Quote by kazswallows
for all you peeps out there that want to see Ice's impersonation

enjoy :lol: :lol:

Better fess up before you post the pic up of me, beside Ice, giving it just as much as he was! And it was for me one of the highlights ( 1 of 100's!!! ) - the moment I heard the first"Hi-ya-hee" I instantly thought of Missy as my legs propelled me vertically

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :silly:

1 Aug 2005

Quote by richardm
Just remembered something Angel Chat said to me:
AC: I thought you might of been a bit of a minger
Me: Oh......really?
AC: But don't worry, you're not!
Oh and the sight of DB walking around in Blue's heels was very funny!

:shock:

Definately not a minger at all, I'd have willingly snogged you but didn't want to scare you off for your first munch,
I'll be sure to pounce on you next time so be forewarned ;)
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
xxxxxx
richardm
Are you forming a queue? Onlyme - sorry I didn't take a bit more time to talk to you on your first munch, but I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, and I bet you a bottle of wine you have already put your name down for another munch!

1 Aug 2005

Quote by westerross
I want a swinging heaven pin
how does one get on?e

D'you mean to say i missed the opportunity of selling you one at the munch - dang! I was doing special offers as well!
Chooooon!!! I would have searched you out ( or even learned you were selling them redface

redface

) - but I think for some of the night I was trapped in Debbie's web!!!!!
ok I didn't struggle too much rolleyes

rolleyes

wink

1 Aug 2005

Quote by Debbiewebs
As some of you will know I am married to smoking muff, and she is black -

she is not is she :shock: :shock: more blue in my case :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
I would agree with with you, but there is only one - bluexxx

1 Aug 2005

As for the others that have posted, there are two kinds, the lambs and the goats. The lambs have posted non-hot and burn-y related replies ( any fire related posts have been ignored ) they shall go to swinger's Heaven, yea, where the sex is plentiful and fantastic for one and all.
The goats however, unless they repent, shall be sent to eternal damnation into swinger's Hell, where they are surrounded by vanilla people, that think sex is not worth the time of day, where you never get a minute's peace for a wank, where on the rare occaisions that sexual congress takes place ( with your monogomous spouse, natch ) it ends shortly and unsatisfactorily, usually due to erectile dysfuntion, or premature ejactulation on the part of the male partner ( for women, this is compounded by the man saying " Oh dear, well never mind - there's always next month ).
So learn from what I preach, repent I tells ye - become a lamb, and praise each other! ( I always knew I'd have a use for 19 yrs of Catholicism, and all it's dogma )
Here endeth the word of Padre Jim Murphy
Amen