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smokerjim
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Male, 50
0 miles · Kent

Forum

Quote by Jags
Never mind England.. what about Scotland??? Can I lie back, get nibbled and think of the Bonnyland??
My turn surely??
:P cool
(I've just spent more than is sensible on a pair of Moschino sunglasses!)
redface

I spent more than is sensible at the Notts Munch - but I bet Jags thinks her new sunnies are worth just as much!
It was good to meet you at Notts, however briefly - so Happy birthday Mal from me and smoking muff :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Quote by little gem
ICE PIE! The Smurffs???

Tis true, gem! It was staggering to see them in attendance lol
Quote by little gem

Give the poor lass a break, people, she must have been too busy trying to catch up with the Northern monkey, or springing him out of jail! lol wink

OMG :shock:
So you're the stalker! :shock:
Shhhh, dont tell anyone, but the trail the northern monkey made dragged me half way across europe, three quarters of the way above my overdraught limit, 8 flights and a 12 hour coach journey and he is still at large out there somewhere. redface
Gem. x - not to be hired as a private detective!
(Ice, rub it in a little bit more for me please?! I'm sure just how much fun you all had so I might need some more details! ;) )
What does he like? Put a brew on, or crack opoen a can of his favourite beer, do a bacon sarnie - when he smells any of that, he'll make his own way home rolleyes :lol:
Quote by goodtimez
Mr Debbiewebs do you really exist?????
Or does debbiewebs have an imaginary friend??
Always thought Debbiewebs was single!
Need confirmation of your existence!!!
Goodtimez (Mrs)

Me and smoking muff can independently confirm that there is an entity existing in this dimension that is Mr Debbiewebs - but youll have to ask her whether he's a good kisser!
Quote by Drifter
Anyone got a beer?.......I need one............... infact six! or more!!!!
Well anybody would .........having to live with Debs as long as I have!!! bolt

Hello there errrmmm Mr Debs!
How about a Watneys Party Seven? lol
Where can you get one?
Quote by Sarah
Maybe he is still making his way to the Nottingham Munch a week late lol

Maybe he's reserving his slot for the next one - like the people that camp outside Harrods or Wimbledon to be first ones in!
Oh now there's an idea
Damn - where did I leave the copyright and patent for that idea?! mad :x :x
wink :lol:
Quote by Ice Pie
Apologies to everyone for not making it to the Nottingham Munch.

Hmmmm, I'm not sure. Shall we forgive them?
Oh alright then.
Your absence was noted with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. lol
Hope you're well and that you're not too disappointed about missing an absolutely incredifab munch, not that I'm trying to rub it in or anything. kiss
Give the poor lass a break, people, she must have been too busy trying to catch up with the Northern monkey, or springing him out of jail! :lol: wink
Quote by Sarah
Maybe he is still making his way to the Nottingham Munch a week late lol

Maybe he's reserving his slot for the next one - like the people that camp outside Harrods or Wimbledon to be first ones in!
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Wooooooooo!

and no, i don't know what the number are for

I know what the numbers are for...
Number 1 is Meat2PleaseU 5 minutes after Debs catches up with him
Number 2 is smokerjim pissing himself laughing!!
Quote by HornyRed
Mr Debs, you have my deepest sympathy (and admiration worship )
Think something stronger than beer is needed, suprised you've lasted this long
(don't tell debs about this post, at least until i've left the country bolt )

DEBS :jagsatwork: you must read and take action duel :boxing:
YES!!! Justice!! 'ow'd ya like them taters, Meat?
Feel free to ask me for a translation into English.
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Mr Debs, you have my deepest sympathy (and admiration worship )
Think something stronger than beer is needed, suprised you've lasted this long
(don't tell debs about this post, at least until i've left the country bolt )

Debs!!!! Have you seen this!
that ought to save me the cost of a pint at the Midlands Munch :twisted: :twisted: lol
Shut Up Gobshite, i have no desire to die :sparring: and if i do i still coming back to haunt you and claim my pint
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Of course you have a deathwish - why would you type what you did - other than suicide? And I don't even know if there is life after death - but I reckon I'll find out 5 minutes after Debs reads this thread!!!! poke sillyoke:
Bastard!!!!!!!
help me im dead! :bolt:

Does this link help you Meat?
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Mr Debs, you have my deepest sympathy (and admiration worship )
Think something stronger than beer is needed, suprised you've lasted this long
(don't tell debs about this post, at least until i've left the country bolt )

Debs!!!! Have you seen this!
that ought to save me the cost of a pint at the Midlands Munch :twisted: :twisted: lol
Shut Up Gobshite, i have no desire to die :sparring: and if i do i still coming back to haunt you and claim my pint
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Of course you have a deathwish - why would you type what you did - other than suicide? And I don't even know if there is life after death - but I reckon I'll find out 5 minutes after Debs reads this thread!!!! poke sillyoke:
Quote by angelnn66
is anyone else really turned on by the caveman story?
:angel: rushes off to find two big cavemen!
hump

I don't look like the caveman equivalent of Casanova, but I think I fit the bill, 'cos I been told lots of times
You're a fucking Neanderthal!
:silly:
So who wants a shag - and when? :rascal: :rascal:
*smokerjim dusts off his shagging diary, in preparation* :small-print: :hump:
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Mr Debs, you have my deepest sympathy (and admiration worship )
Think something stronger than beer is needed, suprised you've lasted this long
(don't tell debs about this post, at least until i've left the country bolt )

Debs!!!! Have you seen this!
that ought to save me the cost of a pint at the Midlands Munch :twisted: :twisted: lol
Quote by steanrachy
hi sgt i took a peek at your friend wills thread and i have to say it is much better and clearly more well thought out than mine, but i was tired and caffeine withdrawal symptoms were kicking in.
it must be a good idea though if two people have thought about it surely??
maybe all the users of the site should club together and build said park??
in the words of a great and historic figure in British history "this time next year we could be millionaires...."
what do you think guys..??

Maybe we should get hold of that Delores whatshername, in Limerick, Ireland - the one with the £77M EuroMillions jacky burning a hole in her pocket - see if she wants to invest in this idea! lol
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Yesterday I saw 2 Apache ( ground attack ) helicopters fly overhead ( in Wembley, NW London ),

I don't think we can blame Neil for that can we??
Can we??????? confused :? :? :? lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

That wasn't my original intention, viz that comment. However, I have never met NiL, plus with the internet, you can log on anywhere - even somewhere like....a cave in Afghanistan. Also as Marms pointed out, we haven't seen him and Osama Bin Laden together, and furthermore, I haven't seen a lot of him on the forum for a few months. I don't know what all this means, ladies and gentlemen, but I will leave you to draw your own conclusions... biggrin
Quote by freckledbird
ooh I've found a friend biggrin :happy:

lol join the punctuation, spelling and grammar brigade.
Levellers are cool :thumbup:
Bev is SH's resident P,S,a,G Brigadier General! lol
kiss :kiss: :kiss: to Bev and :salute:
Ooooooooooo I'm not, I'm just one of the brigade :lol:
Yes ma'am, good idea, ma'am - keep a low profile, ma'am, only someone as 'igh up the ranks as yourself, ma'am, would 'ave the h'idea to keep a low profile, ma'am.
*CSM smokerjim ( I company, 1st Battn. ESB ), salutes, about faces, and marches away, hin ha smart hand horderly fashion*
Quote by Titsalina
Never in a million years did I expect to find the one person that sets my soul alight here on Swinging Heaven.

Daft blonde(and hopeless romantic) that I am , I write this with tears in my eyes
Nothing wrong with that - shows that life hasn't hardened you, long may your attitude continue
Quote by Titsalina
PLEASE PLEASE the rest of you cynics out there: have your opinions by all means as youre entitled to them but dont burst the bubble this thread started to make with these 2 peoples moments of happiness and joy, wish them well and if you want to reply, do it without cynicism.
Plenty of other places to be negative in this world.

Hear, hear, it's nice to have a genuine celebratory thread now and again
Quote by freckledbird
ooh I've found a friend biggrin :happy:

lol join the punctuation, spelling and grammar brigade.
Levellers are cool :thumbup:
Bev is SH's resident P,S,a,G Brigadier General! lol
kiss :kiss: :kiss: to Bev and :salute:
Quote by freckledbird
How would any woman know whether it's better with a larger or smaller one than she has?

Might have two! What? dunno What?
Lucky cow if she's got two lol
Might be easier for the man that likes giving cunnilingus - then again she might be subjective enough to have higher standards.
Damn - I'll be awake all night trying to work out the answer to this mad
Quote by angelnn66
it's the fact that nobody seems to know how to use them any more!
it makes me mad, it does, it just really makes me mad banghead
there's an apostrophe protection society website apparently - I might join. I think they go out after dark with tipex and pens and put right all the terrible signs there are everywhere
"potatoe's" is one of the worst I have seen this week -
the potato's what?
the what belonging to the potato?
You really shouldn't have got me going on this! :jagsatwork:

Sorry, sorry - I do feel more or less the same as you, just not a militantly ( perhaps I should ). I would invite you over for a coffee, like debz4u and Kit in other threads, but I'm going to bed soon...do mind waiting till tomorrow? I'll be on all night, see you later :thumbup: :yinyang:
Quote by angelnn66
I can think of some good uses for candy floss smile
Angel
(hater of text speak - and don't even get me started on apostrophes!)

That is worth loving...but what is it with apostrophes ( sorry to get you started - but I have got to know ) is it their use....or their abuse?
Quote by easy

ahem!
C x

Still think he walked like Tina Turner....

HAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY now there's an idea. SH Stars in their Minds......
DB: Tonight Mathew I'll be Tina Turner...and I'll be singing "Nutbush City Limits"rotflmao
Quote by debz4u
banghead ........ dunno

I know, I know....look do you fancy going for a smoke in the garden - might cope better after some fresh air. I'll put the kettle on - tea or coffee for you?
Quote by steanrachy
if i cud be bothered carrying on this convo i wud but i rly cant as im tired an wud like a cup of tea an a fag, mbe smokerjim wud loan me one????

Sorry, still can't understand what this one reads dunno :dunno: - can you translate that ( and your other posts ) into English - or something like it? :jagsatwork: :jagsatwork:
Quote by Kit
Hiya, Mr Debbiewebs. We didn't get to speak at Notts - sorry for that.
Come in and chill out. Wait for the weekend and there'll be plenty of beer in the GFZ.[/quote
Hi Mr Webs - don't listen to him - you know Debs and all the girlies will have drunk all the beer and will be starting on the shorts wink by the weekend lol :lol:

I'd let you start on my shorts....if I had any ( and interperate that any way you want to )! :silly: :rascal:
Quote by MikeC
see now.....if you'd planned this properly there would be a tray of blackcurrant vodka jelly sitting next to me computer and i could get pished with ya.......as it is i'll just have one of me 'funny' teas lol
we must be on round two now
kiss

mmmmmmmmmm
lucy now thats sounds like fun.....
vodka jelly time smile
MikeV
Pished already, Mike? rotflmao
I don't know if this helps - but it should. The human body has millions of nerve endings all over, that send electrical impulses to the brain that are translated into pain, tickling, hot, wet, cold, dry, etc and that includes pleasure. Around the genetalia everybody has roughly the same number of hundreds of thousands of nerve endings, irrespective of size - ergo some with size X, theoretically has half the sensitivity of someone half their size.
One caveat that has to be remembered is that the level of sensitivity is totally subjective, and no two people will agree on what is best. Whatever you have, that is the best.
BTW jags? Thanks.... kiss