Squirtee's Forum Posts | Swinging Heaven

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squirtee

Over 90 days ago

Bi-curious Female, 55

•

Bi-curious Male, 55

0 miles · Cumbria

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24 Feb 2006

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Think I can manage that ... just give us a couple more vodka and cokes (no ice) :D

........................ then explain the offside rule to us all!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Easy ... It is not an offence in itself to be in an offside position.
A player is in an offside position if:
he is nearer to his opponents' goal line than both the ball and the second last opponent
A player is not in an offside position if:
he is in his own half of the field of play
he is level with the second last opponent
he is level with the last two opponents
Commiting an Offside Offence
A player in an offside position is only penalised if, at the moment the ball touches or is played by one of his team, he is, in the opinion of the referee, involved in active play by:
interfering with play
interfering with an opponent
gaining an advantage by being in that position
No Offence
There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:
a goal kick
a throw-in
a corner kick
Google is MY best friend :D

24 Feb 2006

Quote by swmfl2003
I think she might use it as a merkin Serge

Merkin

dunno

WTF is a merkin ???

24 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69

If that's all I have to do ... think I've been let off easy ... phew
Reputation : :?: :?: ... what's that got to do with beards .. or should I not ask :shock:

................ and speak in a deep voice!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
She always talks like that its the hormone pills were not meant to mention them lol

lol

Oi ... shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

24 Feb 2006

Quote by Sgt Bilko

If that's all I have to do ... think I've been let off easy ... phew
Reputation : :?: :?: ... what's that got to do with beards .. or should I not ask :shock:

................ and speak in a deep voice!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Think I can manage that ... just give us a couple more vodka and cokes (no ice) biggrin

biggrin

:D

24 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
Aww sarge ... please let me stay ... i'll be your bestest friend

Sarge goes to the cupboard under the stairs and pulls out the bag of fake beards (as used in The Life Of Brian) !!!
Seeing as you asked so nicely, but only if you wear one of these!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Well I do have a reputation to uphold!! confused

confused

:? :? :?
He's such a gent you know Squirtee as for cucumbers dunno

dunno

who mentioned cucmbers redface

redface

Erm ... I do believe it was you ... don't think you're gonna get away so lightly :twisted: and if you dont tell all ... I'll tell maidenfair :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

24 Feb 2006

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Aww sarge ... please let me stay ... i'll be your bestest friend

Sarge goes to the cupboard under the stairs and pulls out the bag of fake beards (as used in The Life Of Brian) !!!
Seeing as you asked so nicely, but only if you wear one of these!! :shock: :shock: :shock:
Well I do have a reputation to uphold!! confused

confused

:? :? :?
If that's all I have to do ... think I've been let off easy ... phew
Reputation :?: :?: :?: ... what's that got to do with beards .. or should I not ask :shock:

24 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
Mik deveates from the cucumber story er so how ya doing Squirtee

Am great thanks ... now what's this about a cucumber :eeek:

24 Feb 2006

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Right Squirtee - OUT!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
How can we talk about manly things with you loitering in here?? :? :? :? :? :? :?

Aww sarge ... please let me stay ... i'll be your bestest friend worship

worship

24 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
in all honesty I think the clienetel that frequent the GFZ don't pay much attention to the quality of the pub or even the beer ahh such low standards to have

Low standards :shock: You wish wink

wink

kiss

:
Hang on i've just re read this is the lady saying i'm not good enough for her :? well honestly i've never been so insulted well there was that time when aww you don't need to know redface

redface

Awwww babes :kiss: I didnt mean it ... honest ;)
Go on .. tell us .. we wont tell anyone else .. promise biggrin

biggrin

24 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
Ahh it will be Mrs Squirtee my damp little friend how ya doin hun quick hide under this duvet with me before the sarge sees you :twisted:

You'll say anything to get me under the duvet :twisted:
I can handle sarge ... I think duel

duel

24 Feb 2006

Quote by Sgt Bilko
Is that Mr or Mrs Squirtee in the corner?? :? :? :? :? :? :?

This is Mrs Squirtee (as always) ... Mr Squirtee wouldnt be seen dead in a den of iniquity like this lol

lol

24 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
in all honesty I think the clienetel that frequent the GFZ don't pay much attention to the quality of the pub or even the beer ahh such low standards to have

Low standards :shock: You wish wink

wink

kiss

Oh and congrats to Cplbbw :kiss: Enjoy Monday :twisted:

24 Feb 2006

Quote by maidenfair

sorry i am a little late
thanks for help with doctor purple squirtee

It's my pleasure :kiss: Glad I could be of service ... if you want anything else doctoring just give me a shout wink

wink

24 Feb 2006

I'm with you on the more pic threads ... they put a smile on my face and a warm and tingly feeling in my .... tummy lol

lol

23 Feb 2006

Quote by maidenfair
squirtee........can you please help me a little ......how do you doctor a pic??
ok i have never had too doctor befor :shock:
i know this sounds silly but i need too doctor a pic and very very soon ...can't show in open forum .......toooo naughty
i would like too put a little something small infront of where it needs too be

Have sent you a PM ... hope it helps biggrin

biggrin

23 Feb 2006

Ok ... here's one of my sexy hubby ... but dont tell him .. he'll kill me :shock:

23 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69

Not sure about the pit :scared: but wouldnt mind seeing whats inside the shed

There you go sexy http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/71745.html?highlight=Mik69's%20Shed

rotflmao

:rotflmao: if only
:wink: Sorry about the slight detour from the topic HLB biggrin

biggrin

Yeah sorry HLB kiss

kiss

23 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
Shedman FFS i've got St3ve to blame for that one

By the sound of it Mik I think you'd like "shedman" to go in that pit too biggrin

biggrin

Hiya sexy na i'm fine with all my names well the nice ones at least as for the pit i'd like me and you to go in :twisted: and never come out :D Oh what fun we could get up to
Not sure about the pit :scared: but wouldnt mind seeing whats inside the shed :wink:

23 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
Shedman FFS i've got St3ve to blame for that one

By the sound of it Mik I think you'd like "shedman" to go in that pit too biggrin

biggrin

19 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
Best of a bad bunch i'd have closed me legs but I get dimple's oh and cheers for quoting it now I can't edit it out

Dimples .... did someone mention dimples :shock: ooooo dimples .... i like dimples surprised

surprised

ops:Just for you then hun :twisted:
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Thanks babe kiss

kiss

am a happy bunny now biggrin

biggrin

19 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
Best of a bad bunch i'd have closed me legs but I get dimple's oh and cheers for quoting it now I can't edit it out

Dimples .... did someone mention dimples :shock: ooooo dimples .... i like dimples surprised

surprised

ops:

17 Feb 2006

Happy Birthday ... from a fellow aquarian kiss

kiss

12 Feb 2006

Right .. sorry guys for the quick visit .. but I must finish off what I have started ;) so gotta go ... have a good night kiss

kiss

12 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
Well squirtee if you insist i'm only a PM away :twisted: :rascal:

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

12 Feb 2006

Quote by Pete_sw
Thought I'd see you 2 here ... you not got homes to go to

bloody reprobates rolleyes

rolleyes

who me? :shock: oh I'm just chekin lol drinkies

drinkies

................... honest :shock:
Yeah .. ok ... I believe you ................................ NOT lol

lol

12 Feb 2006

Quote by mik69
Awwwww babes ... how could you think such a thing ... I was busy elsewhere

and you didn't invite me NOW I'M REALLY HURT sad

sad

kiss

Ooops .. sorry ... next time eh ... maybe you could join in too 69position

69position

blast

passionkiss

:wink:

12 Feb 2006

Awwwww babes ... how could you think such a thing ... I was busy elsewhere wink

wink

12 Feb 2006

Thought I'd see you 2 here ... you not got homes to go to wink

wink

11 Feb 2006

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sounds like fun ... well off to bed now to dream of cling film :shock: G night xxxxx

11 Feb 2006

Quote by lovejoy68
Absolutely not ... but then ... hey what the hell ... if it leads to something then wayhay

oi im being good for now

smackbottom

:smackbottom:
oh god ive got the whip out confused

confused

:twisted: its going to be the cling film next :twisted: :twisted:
Cling Film :shock: :shock: :shock: :?: :?: :?: