Okay, here is a challenge, make yourself sound interesting, exciting, adventurous and appealing in less than a quarter of a million words... Here goes... I have my own teeth... Good Start? No? Didn't think so, sounds a bit weak to me too... lets go again.

Well, after having browsed over this site for quite some time I have decided to avoid going for the "hey girls, I've got a dick - its huge!" approach and try and do something constructive and perhaps, mildly interesting.

I'm not on this site actually looking for anything or expecting anything, hopefully I'll make a few friends and have some laughs, beyond that, chemistry is chemistry and you never know. However, if you do look like Claudia Schiffer, I am willing on this occasion to give up on the whole chemistry idea and climb into the shower, stairs, attic, bed, wherever with you, even if your personality grates on me somewhat like a troop of monkeys discovering violins for the first time, I mean, there is always a ball gag to shut you up or maybe gaffa tape, cheaper.

It seems appropriate to make a list of people who should and shouldn't contact me, most of the profiles I look at seem to give these lists so I presume that it is prerequisite and I'll begin with the "yes please"

1. You look like Claudia Schiffer

2. You have your own teeth

3. You're not high emotional maintenance

4. You think Eastenders is a complete waste of license payers money

5. You always wear matching underwear

6. Boots are what you wear, not where you shop

7. You eat meat

8. You enjoy food, wine, conversation and long hot baths

"No Thanks"

1. You're a Manchester United fan

2. You're a vegatarian

3. For you, wearing non matching underwear is of no consequence

4. Your teeth frequent your bedside table in the nights

5. You believe Eastenders to be a good thing

6. You can bench press 200 lbs

7. You think ebay is fantastic (perfectly good shops in this world where things are usually cheaper and come with a warranty)!

8. You own a Citroen 2CV