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warwick

Over 90 days ago

Bisexual Male, 63

0 miles · Warwickshire

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19 Nov 2004

Having not bothered to read the Verification thread I feel compelled to insist on a Certification for the Cafe
All members who are insane, bonkers or away with the fairies should have to add an emocion to the end of their sig
eg
Dawn Mids :shock:
Sgt Bilko :shock:
This would enable others of a sane or nervous dispositio to avoid their posts
therefore
Easy :shock: ( officially certified by warwick )
So feel free to add your name or anyone elses to the certified list and await approval to use officially certified in your sig lol

lol

11 Nov 2004

If only Id listened to the sage advice of my old master the Dali Barma as I sat by his feet learning the ways of this magical world on the snowcapped mountains ofsacred Hertfordshire all those years ago :cry:
Glasshopper he said ( an unfortunate name as to this day I cannot see a piece of glass without hopping around for hours) no matter how tempted you become never lift the lid of your biscuit tin for what lis within is best left undisturbed
At least thats what I think he said as it was at times hard to make out as his head was wedged so firmly up his own arse
But the foolish disciple could not resist the temptation rolleyes

rolleyes

I was not prepared for what I saw in the biscuit tin :shock:
Flirty Fruitloop Butters and deancannock worshipping at the feet f a giant rabbit called Zorba
they were chanting some religius mantra that sounded like tzickylicky lackytzicky
I carefuly replaced the lid and made my way to Mcdonalds in desperate need of the healing powers of a large Coffee
On arriving I was pleased to find Dawn mids performing an indecent act on athick shake and began to recount my experience. But no sooner had I sat down that Sarge came flying through the plate glass window :shock:
I could see behind him Debbiewebbs and Misschief brandishing tins of Pilchsards and fresh herrings
things had certainly taken a turn for the wotse and I was delighted therefore to see Morrissey entering the building only he had a sink plunger masking taped to his forehead .
nevertheless the voice of reason had arrived
to be continued

10 Nov 2004

Ive got to go now and see if I can buy a kipper
cheer up Easy seeyou all tommorow lol

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10 Nov 2004

Yeah since its just the two of us shall I put the kettle on and make a cuppa or would you prefer someting stronger lol

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10 Nov 2004

I can feel my tenuous grip on reality slipping even further
youre not right in the head and nor am I
and this is why I like you
(with apologies to Morrissey who is really Mark anyway who is really a black Dalek) rolleyes

rolleyes

10 Nov 2004

nay bad but not as good as the morning
this little thread seems to have a life of its own
I think we should keep it lol

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10 Nov 2004

Promises promises lol

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had a good afternoon matey confused

confused

:

10 Nov 2004

All perfectly immocent devil
honest lol

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very impressive action Dawn redface

redface

10 Nov 2004

you dont know how close you are devil lol

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10 Nov 2004

Yup
thankgoodness shes here lol

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Dawn whats thick and creamy and makes you happy confused

confused

:
alert tone lowering from warwick lol

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10 Nov 2004

lol

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hello Dawn welcome to my insanity cool

cool

10 Nov 2004

I loved Madeira but ive always fancied Thailand
:shock: hey this worked cool

10 Nov 2004

cant remember who won last time sarge rolleyes

rolleyes

think ill hijack this thread right now lol

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whats the best place anyones ever been on holiday confused

confused

:
itll never work of course but in the interests of scientific research and all that wink

wink

10 Nov 2004

Its always cold in Wakefield mate :shock:
BRRR bloody freezing down here today aswell

10 Nov 2004

Straightaway with the lethal handbag :cry:
bloody hell this is escalating out of control
need more fish rolleyes

rolleyes

10 Nov 2004

So its gloves off is it Debbiewebbs
right im coming at you armed with a goldfish and a steely resolve :shock:
be afraid be very afraid
right Easy Sarge you better come back its gone all boys v girls again wink

wink

10 Nov 2004

yipee Aberdeen here we come
well except for Easy and the sarge theyre off to mongolia
youre right about the goldfish though Jas think id better pick up a mackerel for added protection lol

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10 Nov 2004

easy go hijack sarge and take him to mongolia and while youre there can you pick me up a Yak please as Im having no joy on Ebay lol

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10 Nov 2004

Its warwick 2
warwick3 had his posting wellies removed so that davej could borrow them lol

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come on sarge lets be having you

10 Nov 2004

Come on Sgt youre yeller you know that :shock:
I have a very sharp goldfish here and im not afraid to use it rolleyes

rolleyes

actually im just bored and wondered whether anyone fancied hijacking this post
ill give it a few minutes then ill do it myself rolleyes

rolleyes

10 Nov 2004

Dont worry about it Roger when you turn 40 your brain turns into a lump of putty and you can quite cheerfully soak up any level of tedium lol

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hows your enormous penis btw :shock:
oh and pension none and child allowance is a good thing especially for those not as well off. Im actually a great believer in the welfare state it just needs monitoring to make sure it isnt abused

10 Nov 2004

Big Boy
youre more dilusional than I thought :shock: she was talking to Zorba lol

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oh and btw its warwick bypass not castle lol

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10 Nov 2004

Couldnt agree more with those sentiments Ice
my thanks to you all lol

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10 Nov 2004

Right looks like its decided then
The SH Lidl shopping trip monday night. i can take four in my car so put your names down now
Blimey this is exiting lol

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10 Nov 2004

dont cry Butters you can always come round mine and pole dance for me on Monday
me thinks Flirty fruitloop is dilusional anyway lol

lol

10 Nov 2004

lol

Right good morning
applications are still being sought for the position of pole dancer warwicks please apply here and dont nock me over in the rush wink

wink

9 Nov 2004

Woo Hoo thats three then
warwick thinks hed better clean the shower room and remove the worst of the crumbling masonry from the bathroom rolleyes

rolleyes

9 Nov 2004

warwick makes mental note to hide his aldi loyalty card from Easy lol

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9 Nov 2004

lol

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where do you keep getting these from
nice one

9 Nov 2004

Sarah you could borrow the bar of pears soapn aswell
and as for nails Ive got a black and decker orbital sander and some pinking shears in the shed lol

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so you can kill two birds with one stone lol

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