Where do I start? possibly at the beginning I guess.

After leaving the Army after the war (the Viatnamese........... for the viet cong) I was drafted in to take over and rule a small african nation, during my time in power I would do what all other african dictators did and I used all the tax money my people gave me for my own pleasure and soon became a multi millionare through the corn and rice trade. It wasn't long till I was forced out of office by a small pygmy tribe where I was kidnapped and taken back to their village and was made to sleep with all their midget tribes women. I was able to escape and got on a ship to America where I was able to live out my life long ambition of Stunt double for Killer whales. I had a good few years, living the high life, doing work for free willy 1-5 until an unfortunate accident happened where Willy was caught in a tuna net while holidaying off the coast of the Seychelles. Work soon dried up and I had to resort to waiting tables at Macdonalds, which coincidentally didn't work out either.

I got on the first plane home And was soon able to get back into my normal life and able to sit down and realise the last time I had sexual companionship was the time I was with the tribes women 7 years ago.

to cut a long story short My balls are the size of apples, which isn't great when you try to hide in an orchard in picking season, if you think you can help or you know anyone that can, please let me know

please no midgets, they bring back bad memories

Been a member on here over 10 years, not had a single invite so I'm off back to the tribe