Quote by SXBOY
james bond's transport in a spanish house ?
Aston casa wanderers
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wildwilly
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 52
0 miles · Clackmannanshire
Forum
Casanova
Quote by cc_7up
chicken lips are in abundance up here, I had chicken lip soup last night. As for clubs, we dont need them coz we are all at it like politicians on their lunchbreak all the time, thats why things are done at a slower pace up here, we are all well and truley f***ed
Followed by Haggis drumsticks, no doubt!
cc_7up
I prefer a choice cut from the rump of a haggis (nice with snarglefrumpet eggs), there is always a fight for the big drumstick in our house because as you know the haggis has one leg bigger than the other for running along hillsides
Casanova
Jackson would never have been able to gain access to boys in the same way if he was not so wealthy and naïve. The case in 1993 set a precedent and was bound to be eventually abused by some unscrupulous mother who was quite willing to let their child be exposed to a “potential †in order to make an allegation whether any improprieties occurred or not.
“In 1993, Tom Sneddon was given the job of investigating claims made by another 13-year-old boy against Jackson. Sneddon clearly believed that he had enough to bring Jackson to trial and was angered when the singer settled with the boy and his parents for sums estimated at between $10m and $25m (£5.9 to £14.7 m).†– he cut his nose off to spite his face in this case.
“In 1993, Tom Sneddon was given the job of investigating claims made by another 13-year-old boy against Jackson. Sneddon clearly believed that he had enough to bring Jackson to trial and was angered when the singer settled with the boy and his parents for sums estimated at between $10m and $25m (£5.9 to £14.7 m).†– he cut his nose off to spite his face in this case.
Casanova
Quote by WibblyWobbly
One Sunshiney morning a tall leggy blonde opened her eyes to a lovely warm glow coming through her curtains. So she had a stretch, got out of bed then stopped :shock: as she felt something warm and almost moist starting to...
... tingle the back of her neck. Throwing back the curtains she gazed at the electricity pylons as they diminished to the distant horizon and wondered if the health news she'd heard that morning on Radio 4 was in fact true. At the same time she ventured with her hands to investigate the sensation at the back of her neck and was appalled to discover the remains of a marmite and cream cheese sandwich.
The tall, leggy blonde had no idea how the half masticated sandwich had adhered itself to her neck but upon removing the detritus from it was pleasantly surprised to find that the skin which had laid underneath was now baby soft and wrinkle free... Realising she had discovered the secret of eternal youth she wondered how she could capatalise on this discovery...
Meanwhile...
...there was a knock at her bedroom door. She got a came a loud booming voice which she did not immediately recognise “time for your medication now Miss Doe, please assume the position, stand with your hands against the wall on the far side of the roomâ€. Something was vaguely familiar about the voice, so deep and commanding, she could not help but do the bidding of such an authoritative voice. “But why did he call me Miss Doe?†she thought and “where did I get this sandwich, and where am I ?â€
Casanova
Quote by Vix
Kids with their dad from Friday night for the week. So, booked the time off work and am off to play with the dirty part of the country, for a few days.
Look out M1, we're coming back.
be afraid, very afraid
:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:
Bastard. I heard that.
Edinburgh has been put on RED ALERT on the 4th for your royal visit, we are practising hiding under the bed :scared: :scared:
Casanova
Quote by cumasautra
I was driving home from work yesterday and i was behind a very very dirty white van, and someone had enscribed in it
"Drive YODA Style
May the PARCELforce be with you"
..........found that very funny!:D :D
Think you missed a bit of this story, or whoosh went right over my head
Casanova
Looks like the dungeon is out , DaveJ and Bilko have the scaletrix set up down there re-enacting the Monaco grand pricks, Davej with his F1 maclaren and Bilko has the Del boy 3-wheeler. DaveJs' car keeps flying off the track and Bilkos' tips over at every corner, so they might be some time
Sarah I can see you 2 Casanova
I can't take it any more, I am struggling to do any more studying, if I read anymore cack about bluddy strategies, philosophies or functions, I will go mad..... in fact there I go, that’s me right next to the giraffe on a pogo-stick. I would be the one wibbling my fish but warwick took them all in payment for my certification certificate...He told me I could just show that to the university and I wouldn’t need to sit any exams for my Ph(u)d.
I have come to the conclusion that “enough is enoughâ€, it’s just far too much for one man to take, what with the revision, newbies lost in the corridors, t‘n’h and flapjackboy playing with their light-sabers “fzzzzzsssshhh†& “shwwwwooooomvvv†ing whilst jumping on the beds, stealing my good sheets to use as cloaks and cowels. I can’t even have a quiet read of my notes over a coffee in Tescos without some Tool asking if I was “up for itâ€
So if anybody wants me, I have decided to take up residence in a treehouse in SH gardens overlooking easy lay-by number 121. I would appreciate if you could keep the car-door banging and giggling down to a minimum, and no you cant come up to “use my bed†because I don’t have one.
I have found a load of wood round the back of SH towers I believe to be superfluous SXBOYs’ poles, and a rug, which might have belonged to the Sarge, (I think he used it on his head). I have my old shrivelled bean bag for sitting on and throw cushions left over from the GFZ that seem to have some kind of stains on them (looks like sour cream dip). And a half empty homemade lava lamp (don’t know what that is floating about in it)
So I am looking for some furniture for my new gaff and maybe sarge could provide the keys to the shower block, otherwise I might be a bit niffy by the weekend.
Wild willy
3rd tree from the left
layby 121
SH gardens
I have come to the conclusion that “enough is enoughâ€, it’s just far too much for one man to take, what with the revision, newbies lost in the corridors, t‘n’h and flapjackboy playing with their light-sabers “fzzzzzsssshhh†& “shwwwwooooomvvv†ing whilst jumping on the beds, stealing my good sheets to use as cloaks and cowels. I can’t even have a quiet read of my notes over a coffee in Tescos without some Tool asking if I was “up for itâ€
So if anybody wants me, I have decided to take up residence in a treehouse in SH gardens overlooking easy lay-by number 121. I would appreciate if you could keep the car-door banging and giggling down to a minimum, and no you cant come up to “use my bed†because I don’t have one.
I have found a load of wood round the back of SH towers I believe to be superfluous SXBOYs’ poles, and a rug, which might have belonged to the Sarge, (I think he used it on his head). I have my old shrivelled bean bag for sitting on and throw cushions left over from the GFZ that seem to have some kind of stains on them (looks like sour cream dip). And a half empty homemade lava lamp (don’t know what that is floating about in it)
So I am looking for some furniture for my new gaff and maybe sarge could provide the keys to the shower block, otherwise I might be a bit niffy by the weekend.
Wild willy
3rd tree from the left
layby 121
SH gardens
Casanova
Quote by oddjob
Single guy,looking for fun and friendship.
Hope to meet alot of you soon.
oddjob
Hi oddjob & welcome very muchly to SH, making friends isnt to difficult, you will find lots of intresting things to read in here and a few things by SXBoy
Any problems click this link
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/45014.html
Casanova
Quote by Libra+Love
"...on its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford. "It is."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in."'
Who are you? David Ike?
have to say I didnt understand your reference to David Icke, so I went looking, found the reptillian agenda web site and this pic
eeeeewww! (hes as nutty as a fruitloop :silly: )
Casanova
Well, I was going to vote, but whilst I was puzzling over which pompous, arrogant, shameless, cheating, lying, manipulative bag-of-wind would be the best one to choose out of the main three pompous, arrogant, shameless, cheating, lying, manipulative bags-of-wind, my cat came upon the best solution, and inexplicitly grabbed the ballot slip, ran off with it and dropped it into the litter full tray from which it had recently vacated. It then proceeded to bury it. It won't make any difference Labour would win any way.
"...on its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford. "It is."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in."'
-Douglas Adams, 'So Long And Thanks For All The Fish'
"...on its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford. "It is."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course."
"But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in."'
-Douglas Adams, 'So Long And Thanks For All The Fish'
Casanova
which Rainbow character are you?
I scored 33...
You are ROD, JANE AND FREDDY
You are a well balanced individual, you're usually happiest when surrounded by other people and you don't mind being an entertainer at times. You are quite open and find it easy to chat to people and you like to have a close group of friends around you, people you can trust and be comfortable with. You're an easy going sort who is happy to please although at times you can be a bit lazy and set on doing nothing at all but this doesn't take away from the fact that you are pretty much well liked by all who know you. You may have an unhealthy obsession with orgies. You are the all singing all dancing musical mishaps!
I scored 33...
You are ROD, JANE AND FREDDY
You are a well balanced individual, you're usually happiest when surrounded by other people and you don't mind being an entertainer at times. You are quite open and find it easy to chat to people and you like to have a close group of friends around you, people you can trust and be comfortable with. You're an easy going sort who is happy to please although at times you can be a bit lazy and set on doing nothing at all but this doesn't take away from the fact that you are pretty much well liked by all who know you. You may have an unhealthy obsession with orgies. You are the all singing all dancing musical mishaps!
Casanova
Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than valium.
Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
"Venus observa" is the technical term for the "missionary position."
The word "fuck" is actually an acronym. It dates back to the days, when England was severely under-populated due to the combination of fire/war/plague, and the King issued an official order to... "Fornicate Under Command of the King" to replenish the population.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. (I thought I was the only one to see that video)
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. He had merely been listening to his walkman.
Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letterbomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. He opened it and it blew up in his face.
Chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers who discovered this anomaly found other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
When you breathe, you inspire. When you don’t breathe, you expire.
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten
The world record for standard sized marbles in a single nostril, is 8
Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
"Venus observa" is the technical term for the "missionary position."
The word "fuck" is actually an acronym. It dates back to the days, when England was severely under-populated due to the combination of fire/war/plague, and the King issued an official order to... "Fornicate Under Command of the King" to replenish the population.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. (I thought I was the only one to see that video)
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. He had merely been listening to his walkman.
Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letterbomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. He opened it and it blew up in his face.
Chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers who discovered this anomaly found other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are.
When you breathe, you inspire. When you don’t breathe, you expire.
Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten
The world record for standard sized marbles in a single nostril, is 8
Casanova
Quote by blanco
who is your super fantasy?
Not really a super hero, but she does have two great bouncy castles to jump about on
Heres another question for you, if you could have any magic or mythical object from tv, books, films, What would it be?
a magic torch - Jamie and his magic torch
pegasus - flying horsey
big shrinking/ growing stick - Monkey (although I have something similar)
I always fancied a magic stopwatch (cant remember but think it was on the twighlight zone) to stop time so, I could get a descent kip and put off my final exams.
playing with your newbies like that, you will have the poor boy disallusioned.
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: Casanova
Possibly every young man goes through the stage of looking at their friends mums and getting turned on (known affectionately as Hot Maws in Scotland). The stereotypical older women portrayed in dirty postcards and TV shows (Monty Pythons sketch with the milkmen springs to mind) luring young men into their boudoir has been perpetuated since the year dot. It should not be a surprise to anyone that this is a common fantasy.
Big Beautiful Women is another recurring fantasy that all young men share, the simplified notion that men only like them because they are under the misapprehension that they are an easy lay, is unfair, not only to the men, but also quite derogatory to the women.
When you reach my age you are quite happy to find a BOB (Big Old and Breathing)
Big Beautiful Women is another recurring fantasy that all young men share, the simplified notion that men only like them because they are under the misapprehension that they are an easy lay, is unfair, not only to the men, but also quite derogatory to the women.
When you reach my age you are quite happy to find a BOB (Big Old and Breathing)
Casanova
The only way I could see this working was if you were to either:
1) Arrange with the "punter", that you give him the money that he would use to pay you, which sounds a bit daft I know but at least then you would not be breaking any laws. Of course you run the risk of him just buggering off with your money.
or
2) You arrange to meet in a hotel room and the money he leaves you pays for half the cost of the room. Again then I see no laws getting broken, and as long as the male party knows that this would be purely a role-playing game.
As said by many others, paying for sex in the manner you describe, sounds more like prostitution than swinging
Out of curiosity, how much do you think you are worth?
1) Arrange with the "punter", that you give him the money that he would use to pay you, which sounds a bit daft I know but at least then you would not be breaking any laws. Of course you run the risk of him just buggering off with your money.
or
2) You arrange to meet in a hotel room and the money he leaves you pays for half the cost of the room. Again then I see no laws getting broken, and as long as the male party knows that this would be purely a role-playing game.
As said by many others, paying for sex in the manner you describe, sounds more like prostitution than swinging
Out of curiosity, how much do you think you are worth?
Casanova
Quote by wildwilly
you would expect some “familiarising yourself with the other persons bits†first before moving on to trying to pull your cock off by the root.
My thoughts are that some people just aren’t all that great at lovemaking and could do with some pointers. Intense passionate sex can be rough but still enjoyable for both (or everyone) involved.
sorry, but just had to highlight the bit I thought was most pertinent to my argument, not that some people get carried away, we can all be guilty of that, rather some people are crap, selfish, unintentionally heavy-handed
Quote by Silk and Big G
:twisted:
(sorry, the sadist in me, rising to the top he he he)
S xxx
oh and for silk & big g
Casanova
"Every time you say you don't believe in warwicks, a fairy dies." that old saying is one we all have grown up with, yet how can mrhypocritenolongerinleeds deny the proof of warwicks when three of them have been seen flitting in the silvery light of a full moon around SH gardens
you better be careful mr NLIL, the tooth fairy is very vindictive when she on her jam-sandwich week, she will be after you for back payments
you better be careful mr NLIL, the tooth fairy is very vindictive when she on her jam-sandwich week, she will be after you for back payments
