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SHM got two of our web members to check
out the West Midlands' finest for us.
They came back with this excellent report -
it's all you need to know,whether you're a
'seasoned swinger', or are a novice who'd
like to dip your toes in the water...
is in Darlaston.
It's a little-known
area of the West
Walsall - but the
club itself, tucked
away discreetly on a
small back street, is
possibly one of the
best known venues
in the country.
This is a private club, open only to members
and their guests, so on your first visit you will
be expected to show identification. It's no big
deal, just a copy of a utilities bill,
or something else with your
name and address on it - then you
complete a standard application form and,
where necessary, pay for annual membership.
This is not so easy for single males as there is
currently a waiting list for membership, but it
is always worth getting on the list. Entrance
fees depend on whether you are single or a
couple on which night of the week you are
visiting. Single ladies usually pay £5 or £10,
couples pay from £15 to £25 and single guys
pay £25 every night. Annual membership is
currently £50 for single males. Couples and
single females don't pay for membership.
We were pleasantly surprised to see that
on busier nights there are attendants to help
you find a parking space. The car park itself is
well lit, patrolled by some very friendly guys
and has reassuring CCTV coverage. If you
arrive late in the evening, you may find the
car park full - so you may need to park in one
of the side streets near the club.
Once inside the club you are greeted by one
of the welcoming staff who will explain
everything you need to know and offer any
new guests a personal guided tour of the club.
We were shown through the main bar area to
the changing rooms. Single guys have their
own area on the ground floor, whereas
couples and single females have changing
facilities and lockers on the first floor.
Although smoking is allowed within certain
areas of the club, it
will soon become
comply with the
she told us
that they are hoping that the new
conservatory which leads on to the sun
lounge can be kept exempt from the changes.
In any case, there will be
several outdoor areas
made available to club
visitors who still want
The majority of
people wear just a
towel which is
provided with your
locker. If you prefer a
larger towel, it's
worth asking for one
on your way into
the club. However,
there's no uniform
- some of the
lingerie or a little nightie and
some of the guys just wear boxer shorts.
The atmosphere is easy-going, so as long as
you feel comfortable, no one really worries
what you wear.
Chameleons doesn't have an alcohol licence,
but if you want you can take
alcoholic drinks in with you. You
hand it over to the staff when
you arrive, they mark it with
your locker number and they'll
serve it to you whenever you
want it throughout the
evening - just ask at the bar.
Soft drinks, tea, coffee and
really tasty bar snacks
(such as chips or bacon sandwiches) are available at very reasonable
prices. Any additions such as these are added
to your bill (you just show your locker
number to add to your tab) and you pay
when you leave at the end of the evening.
Since towels don't have pockets, the pay on
exit system works very well.
The evening's entertainment
There are alcoved seating areas for over fifty
people in the downstairs bar area, which has a
small dance floor in the
centre, complete with
pole dancing 'pole' -
which some of the ladies
use to practise their
moves (and some of the
more adventurous men
have also been known to
give it a whirl). Music is
played in this area. It's a
good place to mingle, chat
and get to know people.
Still on the ground floor,
through another door, are the two Jacuzzis.
On quieter evenings, the club only runs one of
them, however, on busier days both are used,
and upwards of fifteen to twenty
people can fit into each
Jacuzzi at any one time. It
can become friendly in there,
and when the Jacuzzis are full,
getting in and out can be an
interesting and delicate
manoeuvre, and toes can get
trodden on! Even when this
happens, its still smiles all round.
More fun upstairs
On the first floor there's an
assortment of playrooms, including
a large play area for couples only.
This room has a large viewing
window so that others can see in.
During our visit we had the pleasure of
watching a number of couples having a lot of
fun. Also on this floor are several small play
rooms with no windows and lockable doors so
if you do decide to play, you have the option
of keeping things private. You will also find
the steam room, toilets, including ladies only
toilets, showers, TV lounge and brand new
cinema room - of which
dark and has
a large round
bed in its centre with
If exhibitionism is
your thing, then
you can take full
advantage of this
area - but you
should be aware that
others might join in.
Further upstairs, on the second floor,
there are even more, specialised, play areas.
A dungeon, sauna, three lockable rooms, two
open play rooms (both with large beds and
windows into the corridor), and one of these
has a love-swing. Throughout the evening we
were in the club, these rooms went through
stages of being completely empty, to being all
used at the same time - with appreciative
spectators looking on.
The decor is of a high
standard throughout, and
the level of general
cleanliness is excellent.
There are tissues, toilet
rolls and bins placed
discreetly in every room,
and the staff walk around
the club constantly to
ensure that everything
remains clean and tidy.
We noticed that any
empty cans, bottles and glasses
were always quickly removed.
The latest addition to the long list of
Chameleon's facilities is the Cinema Room,
hard core porno DVDs are projected on to a
screen about six feet wide. There is a threetier
bed/sofa arrangement so the film-goers
can lie back and really enjoy the movies.
While we were there, the DVD was on the
'play' screen for a while, but a quick word to
one of the staff, and the movies swung into
action. There's a plan for the near future to
replace the DVD player with a multi-disk
player which can run all night long.
In any club - especially a swingers venue -
there have to be rules, and these are
all round the club
premises. The main rule
is that 'NO means NO,
and it's made clear that
anybody breaching rules
can lose their membership
and be ejected from the
club. Although some of the
couples we spoke to did comment that single guys
be a little forward in
their approaches, there
were no stories of
To cater for a
wider section of the
community, Monday night is 'Bi-night'.
Couples, single females and single males are
welcome Tuesday through Sunday, however,
at 7:30pm on Saturday evenings, all single
males have to leave the club. There are regular
themed party nights organised throughout
the year - there's usually one a month. These
tend to be very well attended. Sometimes the
entrance fees are increased to cover the costs
of buffets or other entertainment.
The club's opening hours are different for
almost every day of the week. Monday is
from 7:00pm until 01:00 am. Tuesday to
11:00am and it
hours are from
Sundays are 2pm
A warm welcome
The staff are very friendly and approachable
if you need to ask questions and they are
constantly walking round the club. However,
on a busy night, new members to the club
may not be able to identify the staff who,
as they often wear similar clothing to the
members, blend in quite seamlessly.
We wondered if maybe a 'staff' armband
would be a good idea.
On the night we visited, there was a wide
mixture of people at the club. The average age
would probably have been in the late thirties,
early forties age brackets.Without wishing to
offend or pigeonhole anybody, it made no
difference if you are tall, short, thin, not so
thin, white, black,
hairy or bald.
and relaxed and
in fear of
ridicule. It's the house tenet that you are accepted for
who you are and not what you are.
We sat in a number of the areas of the
club, and during the night, we got talking with
quite a few fellow club-goers. In fact, we
spent quite a while in one room talking to a
couple who had some very good dogging
experiences to share. They were happy to
answer all our questions - while others talked
about vital matters, such as the football
results, or who was voted off reality television
programmes that evening.
Anybody who has a distance to travel to
reach the club can book one of the in-house
en-suite bedrooms. Alternatively, the club
staff can help with finding other local
accommodation - they can even help with
arranging taxis to and from the club. It may
seem just another small thing, but if you live
outside the area and don't know your way
around, these considerate touches mean a
great deal. However, due to
of this service,
it's a good idea
well in advance of
opinion is that
reputation as one of
the best swingers'
clubs in the UK is fully
justified.With so many
different areas to spend
time, there should be
somewhere in the club for everybody. If you
have thought about visiting a club, but are
uncertain whether to go or not - or you have
been undecided on which club to try - then
we would fully recommend Chameleons.
It's well worth a visit and we'd have no
hesitation in returning to explore it further.