DVD Reviews (3)

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Our reviewer was a contented chap this month - 'at last', he said, 'some R18s!' Furthermore, since he has more than a passing penchant for girls getting wet and messy, his happiness was complete with a couple of offerings from Artscene...

Maison Erotique

This terrific film is directed by Tanya Hyde. There is no story and no dialogue but it is so good that it doesn't need either. Tanya is, without doubt, one of the greatest fetish directors around and this film is pure fetish. From the way it is directed and edited, one can only really assume that Tanya is translating her own fantasies into the action on the screen.

This DVD is an amazing 161 minutes long - and not a single second is wasted. There are only four primary scenes, but these cover almost all aspects of fetishism, from Victoriana to so-called 'rubber' mania. Scene one - Le Vice Anglais - is Victoriana, where a maid playing with a large golden dildo is discovered by her mistress and then subjected to all kinds of punishment and humiliation, including the master exercising a form of 'droit de seigneur' over the maid.

After this we have a 'rubber'-lovers delight in 'Le Gimp'. The two ladies involved spend a lot of their time in latex catsuits - and some of their time out of them. I defy any man alive to watch this and not wish that he were the gimp involved. They indulge in lesbian, oral, straight and anal - as well as some great FF strap-on action. One little observation from a devotee of music is that the special fading effects are surely based on David Bowie's Ashes to Ashes.

In the third section, that takes us to 'The Catacombs', we are treated again to extreme, latex-led fetish, as well as some mild ws action. It's not really ws, as it just involves single relief, but it's good all the same for those of us who enjoy these activities. Medical room aficionados will also enjoy this segment that includes a lot of stirrup use. Finally, we have the item called 'Baroque'. This is pure Goth-look, taken to extreme, and as well as involving sort-of conventional sex, has great scenes of lesbian bondage and flagellation, as well as intense strap-on action.

The film itself is a fetishist's dream with the emphasis very much on the dark side of inner desires, supported by latex images second to none. But, in my opinion, the best is yet to come. And that is in the form of the Bonus Features. The long revelations of the making of Maison Erotique and Kinky Bitch are worth a disc and a review of their own. While one might argue that watching them somehow removes the fantasy of the final cut films, it actually enhances the overall content and shows, without doubt, how much the actors really enjoy their craft.

This is, as you would expect, an R18, and should rightly retail for more than its price of £24.99. It's available from the Harmony shops and shortly online. (See Young Harlots review for further contact details.)

I give this 9.5 out of 10

Young Harlots- the Governess

This is hardcore - and it is very good hardcore indeed. Good enough to lay a motorway on. It has a great cast-list of wellknown stars and is directed by the almost legendary Gazzman. It is the latest in a string of Harmony releases featuring 'the Young Harlots'. The Young Harlots series is really aimed at the market that understands words such as 'nymphet', but works so well as there is always an element of more mature ladies helping the nymphet's along.

With a running time of nearly two and a half hours, it's not surprising that this film covers virtually everything in its six long scenes. Your reviewer's favourites were scene three, which is a thrilling MMMF coming together, and scene five that involves a long multi-toy lesbian sequence including close up squirting and drinking shots. There is much to enjoy throughout this disc including multiple BJs, DPs and TPs.

The film has a sort of surreal storyline involving dream sequences and a Goth-like governess (rather like Morticia) gradually introducing her young charges to the joys of unbridled, uninhibited, anything-goes sex. Being shot in HD, the quality is as excellent as the content, and the disc offers many features, including subtitles in nine languages and three bonus scenes - the best of which is 'Backstage', where you can see that the actors really do enjoy their calling. They're not acting so much as having a damn good time. There are also four trailers of other Harmony productions.

I am really struggling now to find anything to say other than to heap praise on this film. I am supposed to be critical and find fault as well. Okay, I've just watched it again, and if I can be really picky, it could do with just a little bit of dialogue and maybe the governess should be ordering her acolytes around a tad more aggressively. But this is just pathetic criticism on my part, for an otherwise absolutely wonderful product.

All of this is available for the paltry sum of £24.99, direct from Harmony. Currently, they have three London retail outlets located in Oxford Street, Charing Cross Road and Walkers Court W1. Their products will soon be available online from www.harmonyuk.com

I give it 9 out of 10


All things are better with a plot - however bizarre - and this wet and messy vinyl offering from the highly respected Artscene Publications certainly has a bizarre plot. It goes like this:

'In the year 2084, after the holocaust, only the Girlfish survive. They are policed by 'The Pinkies', the security force who watch over them in the safe areas.Virtually all males have been wiped out and it is The Pinkies' job to secure the few that are left, along with the ripe young virgins, to ensure the survival of the race. But the virgins are plundered by 'The Takers' - a band of sex-starved lesbians, who are in turn hunted ruthlessly by The Pinkies. In this wet and messy world, the remaining girls live only for pleasure.'

No matter how mad this may seem, it results in a quite wonderful film that appeals to people who are into the 'rubber' look, the wet look and the messy or sploshing look. It works on all three counts with an amazing array of vinyl and latex costumes. The scenes encompass a variety of concepts - very attractive actresses indulge in lesbian episodes and strip to topless and naked in wet environments, ranging through Jacuzzis and streams to waterfalls and mud pits - and they employ enough food in the form of custard, baked beans, spaghetti and tomato soup to feed a Third-World nation for a week - or half a dozen English teenagers for a couple of days.

Shot mainly in the great outdoors, some of the best scenes take place inside, including probably the best, in which a girl in ordinary clothes is tied up and covered in golden syrup by a latex clad dominatrix, before roles are reversed and custard is deployed before both girls end up topless and totally covered in almost everything imaginable.

You don't have to be a messy and wet or a rubber-look fan to really enjoy this offering. But if you are any of the above, you'll think it's really good - and if you're all three, you'll think it's great. I only have one real criticism, and that's the lack of DVD features. You just have to treat it as though you were watching a video - although you can go forward and back through chapters.

With a running time of 70 minutes, this film comes in at £25, and is most easily obtained online from www.artaqua.co.uk

I give it 7.5 out of 10

Vinyl Virgins

A very good rubber and vinyl short film from Artscene Productions, featuring four models and a stunning array of vinyl and latex clothing - both dry and, hardly surprisingly for Artscene, wet.

Scene 1 has a single brunette girl taking a shower in a red latex dress, during which she explores every part of her own body before stripping down to just stockings and suspenders. A nice, albeit somewhat relaxed opening - to the dvd, that is.

In the second scene we are treated to some BDSM. It starts with a kneeling girl in a black latex bodice being taken on a lead to a spa-type shower, after which she is subjected to some mild flagellation before a third girl joins in the group showering and groping. After a few minutes, the three of them move on to accost the girl from Scene 1, who is now wearing a striking floor-length black vinyl dress and drinking wine by the poolside. After a bottle of wine is poured down her dress and used to fill her vinyl knickers amid mild lesbian petting, all four girls leap into the pool for a few minutes' horseplay. A nice follow-up with a single girl bath - again in a lovely red latex top and skirt and black latex hold-ups. After a short time she strips naked under a shower and we have a lovely close up sequence of her masturbating with her fingers while playing the shower over her pussy.

The final scene features a two-girl, latexclad, lesbian event - after which they both strip and carry on in similar vein while naked. No water this time.

As with all Artscene films, the sexual element is implied rather than being explicit - but there is nothing wrong in that, and judging by the nipple reactions, all of the girls are genuinely enjoying themselves! Having said that, it would be better if the girls took some of the BDSM elements a little more seriously.

Vinyl Virgins is only 30 minutes long, but then it's hard to imagine what other elements could be added, so it's about the right length and this is reflected in the lowish price of £15. Available direct from www.artaqua.co.uk

I rate it 6 out of 10 for 'rubber'- look fans, 5 out of 10 for wet-look fans - but 7 out of 10 if you are into both scenes