First forays into Fetish Clubs

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Every person who is now a regular at fetish clubs has had to make that first exploratory step in pursuing their fantasies. Master David provides a beginner's guide to clubs, people, places, etiquette - all you need to know for a stimulating first visit...

For many people, the prospect of visiting a fetish club is something that fires their imagination - and terrifies them at the same time! Photographs from the clubs show people wearing an amazing variety of outfits - everything from complex latex costumes, severe leather harnesses, to almost no outfit at all. They often also show strange furniture... people being tied up, a lot of canes and paddles, with many club-goers wearing collars and cuffs. All of this can produce conflicting emotions for people who are interested, but have never been to this type of club.

What to expect...

So, if you want to visit a fetish club, what do you need to know, what should you wear, and how will you be treated? The first thing you can be assured of is that no one is going to make you do anything you don't want to do! People often worry that they will suddenly find themselves tied to a piece of furniture while someone canes their bottom... or does something even worse. Rest assured, that isn't going to happen. These clubs are very relaxed places, with a lot of friendly people, and there are always very strict rules in place governing people's behaviour during their visit.

Rule number one, and the most important one, is 'No touching anyone without permission'. This is so important that anyone who breaks this rule can easily find themself thrown out of the club, and refused entry again. In all fetish clubs, the intention is to give people the freedom to dress how they want, so frequently you will find men and women wearing very revealing clothes. For this to work, people (especially the women) need to feel safe, and know that they won't be harassed. Hence the 'no touching' rule, which is crucial to this working. You also need to remember that hardly any fetish clubs allow you to have sex in them. So, if you just want to have sex, such clubs are definitely the wrong places to go!

Rule number two is that nothing happens without a person's consent, so although you will see all sorts of interesting and unusual things going on, all the people involved have agreed to it... although that might not seem obvious! So don't feel tempted to intervene!

The essence of fetishism

What are these clubs all about then, if you can't have sex in them? Well, there are two distinct aspects to the clubs: firstly, some of the clubs are simply about dressing in extravagant clothes, being seen, and watching other people. This is the 'Dress to Impress' element of the clubs. Often there is a strong dance culture associated with this as well, so you can expect to see lots of people in amazing outfits, dancing, chatting and generally having a good time. And because people can wear clothes that match the fetish they want, and choose to express how they want others to imagine them, you are going to find straight, gay, bi-sexual, cross-dressing - the whole spectrum of possibilities. So you need to be relaxed about all of that too, and respect other people's fetishes and predilections.

The second aspect of these clubs is the BDSM part. This is the where the complex furniture, the dominant and submissive people, and the spanking, canes, and bondage come in. Frequently clubs will mix fetish and BDSM, but not always - so you need to do a little research before you go.Visit their website: some clubs focus only on the BDSM aspects, so you don't get all the dressing up.
They will be much more into the Dominant/ submissive, Master/mistress/slave play. This sort of play is called 'sceneing', and can be very intense for the people involved, so the last major rule to remember is you must never attempt to join in, or talk to people while they are in a scene. If you do you will become very unpopular very quickly!

Picking your first club

How do you decide which type of club to go to? Well, if you are really new to this, look for one that is more oriented towards 'Dress to Impress'. There will usually be some BDSM play too, so you will be able to see both aspects, then as you decide which part interests you most, you can refine your choice of club.

Now, this may seem all very serious, but in fact the clubs are usually great fun. Because people are dressing and behaving in the way they want to be seen, they are very relaxed. So what you see is how the person wants you to percieve them, and people frequently enjoy talking about what they are wearing, so it is easy to get a conversation going. After all, they have put all that effort into the way they look because they want to be noticed. People are also pretty well behaved too, and it is very rare for anyone to get drunk or disorderly.

A typical fetish club would normally open its doors at about 10 pm, and close around 4 am. They don't normally get busy until at least midnight - and then people tend to arrive in their droves. Most clubs require you to be wearing some sort of fetish outfit to get in (although you can bring clothes and change at the venue). So you need to have made an effort with your outfit, and that applies to both men and women. The men may be as extravagantly dressed, if not more so than the women.

What can you wear? As I said before, the best thing to do is look at the website of the club you want to go to. It will have a gallery so you can see what people like to wear - but one thing is certain - you won't get in in street clothes. For guys, you won't get in with smart-casual style clothing common at swinging events, either. So you will need to go shopping!

The club itself

Inside the club there will be a bar area where people can chat, often (but not always) a dance floor, and also a dungeon area where there is specialist furniture for people to scene. Dungeons can range from a small, roped-off area, all the way up to almost the whole club being the dungeon! Like most clubs, people start off chatting, but as the evening progresses, will tend to gravitate to the dance floor or the dungeon area. You are free to watch people in the dungeon area and can chat with people after they have finished sceneing. If you want to know what a scene was about, then people are usually happy to talk about it, but as they are very intense and emotional activities, you should give people some time before approaching them. And of course, not everyone is going to want to talk to you, but normally as long as you are polite when you ask, they will be polite in return - even if they don't want to talk further. Don't be afraid to ask, but if someone declines, don't be concerned or offended. After all, they are out to enjoy themselves too, so may simply not want to chat this time around.

The evening's events

As the evening goes on, the atmosphere usually gets more and more erotic. Because there is no full-on sex in the clubs, you effectively have a whole evening of foreplay, and this can create a wonderful atmosphere of sensual tension. You may also find people wearing fewer clothes as the evening progresses! For some of the clubs where the emphasis is more on the Dom/sub or Master/slave play, you will find that the slaves can end up almost completely naked.

So, when I take my slave to a club, I often undress her before we scene, as the sceneing may involve some spanking, caning or some breast play - in which case her outfit may get in the way. But again, the 'no touching' rule is so important. You may be at a club where a girl is standing beside you completely naked, but it doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you... or even wants to talk to you. This will simply be part of the way she and her partner scene together.

Another aspect of the fetish scene is that, once you get to know people, you may get invited to private parties too. These are usually at the house of someone who has kitted out a room or rooms as a dungeon, and can often provide an opportunity to see, and experience, very sophisticated BDSM play, and there may be sex too. But the same rules apply as at the clubs - don't touch or get involved without asking.

Do your homework

If, having read this, you want to go to a fetish club, what should you do? You need to do two things. You need to do some reading - on the web, or in books about fetish and BDSM, so that you have some idea about it before you go. You also need to look at club websites to work out what sort of clubs they are, and what people wear to them. Then choose one and go along! A good place to look is - even if you don't live in London - as there is lot of information about what's on, and a very good gallery, which is updated with photographs from clubs from the previous weeks. Once you get to a club, chat to people, ask questions, get to know them and you may find that the fetish scene can add a whole new dimension to your life!