Swinging my way around Europe's clubs...
I made a big mistake with my first visit to a
foreign swinging club. I was staying with a
friend in Berlin and she'd told me about the
infamous Kit Kat Club.We'd excitedly planned
to go together but she lost her nerve at the
last minute, never having been to a swinging
or fetish club. I couldn't persuade her to go
another night as I was flying home the next
day and I was determined to go - even if it
was just to wear the new PVC underwear I'd
bought for the occasion. Unfortunately, she
was the one who spoke fluent German. Surely
it would be as easy as 'Ich schwinge, du
schwingst, er/sie/es schwingt', wouldn't it?
Well I was on my way, so I was going to find
The dress code is strict - fetish wear is de rigeur and many make a big effort to be original and stand out. Dress to seriously impress or you'll find yourself refused entry.
My less than original jeans and top raised an eyebrow even before I'd got to the front of the queue. I reached the front to pay my entry fee - 10 Euros, which is really cheap compared to swinging, fetish or even standard night clubs in the UK. Before the lady took my money, I was grilled as to whether I had appropriate clothing. I strangely came over all reticent without my pal - we were always there to egg each other on - but this time I was on my own in a place where I didn't speak the language.
I explained I had suitable clothing underneath but wanted to keep my outer clothes on for a little while. Luckily she spoke good English and was obviously used to strange foreigners, wary of what they would find inside the club. I was given a friendly warning that, should I not remove my outer clothes at some point, I would be asked to leave - a reasonable request given their dress code. I was shown the changing room with lockers - very handy for those who don't want to travel to the club in their latest fetish garb. I went through an opening to the main club area and was presented with a vast room split into different sections - a bar to the right with people sitting on stools and standing around talking, an area trading kinky clothes and accessories to the left, an area up some stairs that I couldn't see much of from where I was standing and a circular dance floor straight in front.
There was a small handful of people dancing to the loud music and I was mesmerised by what they were wearing - a very sexy lady with a bright red-coloured wig with a matching barely-there dress, a tall man in stockings and suspenders and nothing else, another man in PVC from head to toe with I don't know how many piercings. I felt overdressed immediately, and decided to go back to the changing room and let loose my PVC undies, pronto. It felt something like being the only fully clothed person at a naturist convention!
Should you not have any fetish wear in your wardrobe or something outrageous with you on your trip, all is not lost, strip down, get half-naked and you should get in.Well, unless you have seriously bad taste in underwear or your lingerie has seen better days. I strode back out and felt at home, no longer sticking out like a sore thumb.
While there were some people dancing and milling around, it wasn't that busy, but that gave me plenty of time to explore. I found that the upstairs section I'd seen earlier was a chill-out area with sofas, there were other nooks and crannies around the place for more privacy or smaller group voyeurism, and an outside area with a group of guys smoking and chatting raucously. Neither exclusively a straight or gay club, the Kit Kat is a melting pot of people, tastes and preferences and surprisingly provides an intimate and sexy atmosphere for such a big club. I'd arrived at midnight and it got busier from 1am.
There was disappointingly no play happening and I wondered if what I'd heard about the club was true - but I needn't have worried. By 2.30am I saw two ladies playing with each other in a circular seating area and while one man helped them, others looked on, hoping to get invited to join in. Back in the main area, I saw a lady bent over at a 90 degree angle enjoying getting spit roast - a very horny sight indeed!
If I'm honest, the language was a barrier. I'd learned German at school a good 15 years earlier and the lessons didn't cover such things as 'I'd like to shag you', or 'Spit roast? Mmm, yes please!', I didn't approach that many people myself, but found those who could chat in English to be very friendly. I'm sure having my German friend with me would have given me a busier and more interactive night - but I didn't do too badly without her. I played with one guy who was ideal in that he was keen to practice his English. Actually, the encounter sort of fulfilled a fantasy of mine; on my exploration of the club, I'd found a little spot with a chair-type contraption with metal stirrups to strap your legs into. Spread eagled of course, and very pleasurable! The club is open from 11pm every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. For those still going strong after the regular Saturday night CarneBall Bizarre, the after hours Piep Show runs straight through from 8am Sunday morning till late afternoon, providing a place to chill out when you've had enough and allowing uninterrupted clubbing for 18 hours! This club is ideal if you love techno/house/ trance music, and they've even set up the Kit Kat record label to release what regulars call 'kittysound', music compilation CDs.
If electronic music is not your bag, then you might find the music somewhat repetitive but it's still one of Europe's most hedonistic clubs, and an experience in itself.
The Kit Kat Club is currently located on Bessemer Strasse in the Schoneberg district, which is not only a 15 Euro cab ride from the centre of the city, but the approach to it down an inauspicious dark alley can put you on edge and make you wonder what you're getting into. The good news is that from next month the Kit Kat moves into the more central Sage Club on Kopenicker Strasse (Mitte district). This move is exciting Berliners - it brings the Kit Kat into the same area as the Berghain and Tresor night clubs, giving Berlin a truly world class clubbing district by the Spree River.
Which airport you fly into depends on the carrier and your departure airport. Tegel Airport is 8km from Berlin and tends to be used by full service airlines, whereas Schonefeld Airport is 19km away and used by no-frills airlines but has the benefit of a cheap and efficient Airport Express Train into the city, running every half hour. Direct flights with Air Berlin cost around £130, British Airways £160 or, if you can book in plenty of time and be flexible on flight times, Easyjet can get you there for £44 (all prices include tax and charges).
If you are planning to see the sights of Berlin on your trip, and there's more than enough for at least a long weekend, the welllocated Park Inn Berlin, Alexanderplatz is a good choice where a double room will cost around £50 per night. Alternatively, how about a flying visit - the same adventure without the need for a hotel? Travel out Saturday, maybe time for a bit of sightseeing or maybe not, dinner and drinks along the Spree until Kitty Kat time starts at 11pm, then fly back sometime on Sunday after partying for as long and as hard as you can!
In fact, if you work out the cost of a no-frills flying visit, including the club entry to the Kit Kat Club, it doesn't cost that much more than visiting some of the better swinging clubs in the UK. Before you go though, brush up on the German for an unforgettable night!