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I have to say that this page hasn't ended up quite as I'd expected.Yes,we've had all sorts of feedback, some problem letters and a great story - see page 76 - but we need a bit more interactive input from you out there. I can't believe that no-one has experiences they'd like to share ... worst-day disasters to make the rest of us count our blessings.

What do you google

I was perusing the pages of the splendid and thought-provoking tome, Old Shite's Almanac recently, and spotted an interesting list of the most 'googled' search words from various towns around the UK. I was not surprised to see that Basildon's most searched word was 'sex' - and it took only a small stretch of the imagination to understand why Brentford's word is 'Viagra', but the icing on the cake was Wigan: the top search word? 'Swinging'. Perhaps someone out there can explain this...

Made me laugh...

Two of our readers - our Fun4Two reviewers - sent me a clutch of 'funnies', and I'm happy to pass them on to you to tickle your funny bone and, in the last item, to point out exactly why it is that men have it so easy...

Husband:When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your temper?
Wife: I clean the toilet bowl.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.

Two couples are on a double date when they start talking about partner swapping. They decide it would be cool to try it out. The two couples then go to a local motel. They rent two rooms for the night, and the newly shuffled couples go to their respective rooms. One couple, in their room, go wild with each other. They make love for hours. When finished, one of the two rolls over on her side, props herself on one elbow, lights up a cigarette, looks at her partner, and says: 'I wonder how the guys are doing?'

A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime. They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager. As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly, 'Cor, she's fat!' The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's ear to be quiet.
A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his hands as far as they would go and announced; 'I'll bet her butt is this wide!'
The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy.
The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet.
After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the line.
Just then her pager begin to emit a beep, beep, beep.
The little boy yells out, 'Run, she's backing up!!'

An elderly couple in their 80s were about to get married.
She said: 'I want to keep my house.'
He said: 'That's fine with me.
She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac.
He said: That's fine with me.'
She said: 'And I want to have sex six times a week.'
He said: 'That's fine with me... Put me down for Fridays.'

A man and woman were having marital problems so they went to see a marriage counsellor.
The counsellor, in an attempt to find some common ground from which to begin his analysis said,
'Tell me about anything the two of you have in common.'
The husband spoke up and said, 'Well, neither one of us sucks dicks.'

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour.'

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' she replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!!'

And finally...

Why Men Are Just Happier People -
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President.

You can never get pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park... you can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station lavatory because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay.Wrinkles add character.Wedding dress: 5000 quid, morning suit rental 100 quid. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional wellrendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 14-day holiday requires only one suitcase - the same as for a 3-day holiday. a You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you to a party, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is £9.99 for a threepack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years... maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket-knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.