Sex Toys Review

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We recruited two Swinging Heaven subscribers to test a selection of different toys - and when they recovered their composure, this was what they concluded:

Sex In A Can: The Pink Fleshlight Reviewed by 'Luckier'

I had heard and read so much about this toy that I did wonder if it could really be that good. Despite all the rave reviews I read on various online sex toy sites that claimed it was the number one male sex toy in the world, and the equivalent to the female rabbit vibrator, I really had to try this out and see for myself. I have tried a whole range of different sex toys, among them quite a few artificial vaginas, vibrating and otherwise, semi realistic and not so realistic. There have been occasions when I've tried out yet another disappointing new masturbator that was meant to be the next best thing to a real live pussy, and I've ended up slinging it in the bin, resorting instead to 'man's best friend', my hand, which has seen good service over the years. But I always longed for a toy that would give me the satisfaction of feeling I was inside a vagina - because that is an entirely different feeling altogether, and if that is what you are looking for, then the Pink Fleshlight is the one single toy you need.

Even though not a vibrating masturbator (though it can be turned into one by simply inserting a mini-bullet into the end), it's just so much better than any other vagina-type toy I can think of - and much of that is down to the material it's made from. According to their official website ( it comes from an exclusive proprietary formula that is soft and smooth and retains heat like real skin. I must admit that it does give out incredibly realistic sensations that will give you the most intense orgasm that you have ever had from a sex toy. It's actually amazing how realistic it looks and feels. And, providing you spend a little time preparing for its use, then it will deliver the kind of orgasm and excitement that is probably the next best thing to having it for real. And certainly it achieves what it claims - to make the physical sensation of sexual intercourse as good as it can be with a toy. In fact, so good has it been every time I have played with it, I usually get to the stage pretty quickly of feeling weak, if you know what I mean - a nice weak that is, when your knees and legs buckle, shake and tremble with excitement, which to me is a sign of great sex.

Although everyone will have and develop their own favourite way to get the most out of this toy (and like most toys will probably take a few attempts to discover how it works best for you), I found one of the most sensuous things was a continuous entry and re-entry, the slower the better, and that's because the flesh insert feels so real. It's by doing this that I get the most pleasure - like when you are having great sex, you feel so weak, you cannot stop because it is so good. It's almost like that, like having the best fuck in the world, only without the pressures and anxieties of having to perform the way the other person wants you to perform. I read in one user review that he was visually turned on by watching the lips of the vagina part as the head of his penis slipped in and out. I have tried this, and yes I agree, it is a visual turn on, and will probably be for most users. I love watching myself have DIY sex anyway, so watching this masturbator take and have my penis certainly did the trick for me - more so than any toy I've played with before.

As I mentioned earlier, using the Fleshlight does take a little time to prepare. Although instructions come with it, a quick guide through the process may be helpful if you're considering getting one, or if you've just got one and are about to try it for the first time. The first thing you have to do is to remove the flesh insert from its housing case. Take it to the bathroom, fill the basin with hot water, and submerge the insert into the water.What I usually do while waiting for it to reach the desired temperature (usually 5 or 10 minutes), is go off to the bedroom for some foreplay. Then, when I go back to take the insert out of the water, it's ready and so is my penis. Be sure to either towel or air dry the insert before replacing it in its housing case (as apparently excess moisture may generate mould), and then once back on your bed, take up your favourite position, whether lying down, standing up, or my favourite, in a straddle position. Lubricate your penis if you haven't already done so, and then lube up the orifice and internal canal of the Fleshlight (this is also another pleasurable experience as it can, if you wish, become part of your foreplay, if you spend a little time fingering it until you are ready to penetrate the warm flesh insert - in much the same way as you would during sexual penetration).

Although it may seem like a lot of preparation, the effort is very much worth it, because the first time you use it, it will be like the first time you had sex. It's a completely new experience. You can vary how you use the device by removing the screw-cap at the other end of the case to vary the suction you want (this is the end where you would insert the mini-bullet if you want to increase your sensations, but believe me you won't - it's great enough on its own). By leaving the cap on or unscrewing it a little, or removing it completely, you can change the masturbator from extreme resistance to almost none, giving, once again, a very pleasurable experience.

The only drawback perhaps, is afterwards, when you are feeling pretty weak and in an after-cum state, you would probably prefer to go to sleep, but you have to get up and clean the insert. Admittedly you only need to run the hot tap through it - and not to do the cleaning afterwards may leave the insert with a not so good odour and may, over time, deteriorate the surface of the material. But let's face it; the cleaning is pretty simple and straightforward compared to a lot of other sex toys.

One very small criticism that some users have commented on is the size of the housing canister. Described in certain paraphernalia as an attractive and sturdy canister that looks like an ordinary utility flashlight, so it's nice and easy for discreet storage, at 9 inches tall by 4 inches wide, it's not actually that easy to conceal if you don't want family or friends asking questions. And, as it doesn't look like a real flashlight/torch and because of its size, it might encourage unwanted curiosity, but then again its size, as most users have noted, is essential for its use. Means you can get a good grip while you're using it, and the length means your penis can really go deep inside it without coming out the other end like some other masturbators. Another online user said that when you go all the way inside, you can feel the vagina rubbing on your testicles and yes you can, so that is very true, like most of the other comments I read from users. In fact this is one toy that doesn't have any negative or misleading reviews.

It's important to use a water-based lubricant and I would suggest Liquid Silk - one of the best lubes for use with sex toys. It's non-tacky and waterbased, which is what you have to use with the Fleshlight. It is apparently also a great skin conditioner for intimate massage, foreplay, and intercourse with your toy and will leave your penis feeling lovely and smooth - just like mine - as those who have had it will know! According to the blurb on the bottle, it will leave behind a greatly improved skin feel, tone and texture, is designed to reduce the risk of breaking skin and is also formulated to be bio-static, stopping bacteria and yeast transmissions, and I highly recommend it.

What makes the Fleshlight masturbator even more appealing is that you can build your own Fleshlight with a choice of orifice, colour (gold, pink and mocha) and sensations which range from mouth to arse moulds and all with varying degrees of tightness and ribbing, depending on what sensation you are looking for.What is also interesting about this masturbator is that it was designed entirely from customer suggestions - so perhaps it's not surprising that it's so good.

With thanks to

Funky FunGi - the Pleasure 'shroom

On the box this is described as a vibrating multi-speed pleasure 'shroom (actually the box spelling is more eccentric), and is strictly a vaginal/anal plug. We gave it to 'Luckier' who concluded quite quickly that it would probably be much more satisfactory for women than men - although it claims to be usable by both sexes.
The pack says it's a 'cheeky, fun little toy to use as a couple or keep to yourself when you feel in the mood', but Luckier reported that 'it didn't do anything to get me in the mood - or even when I was in the mood.' From a male point of view, there are a good many better anal stimulation toys, so he wouldn't be keeping this particular one under his pillow. (His recommendation would be waterproof vibrating pleasure beads...)

From a practical angle, it's made from a smooth purple jelly latex, has a ribbed body and has a plastic control - which he doubted would stand up to robust use - and it was quite noisy when switched on.

Although notionally for both sexes, we'd recommend this as a girl's toy.

CurvierBunny took a look at toys for girls: - Body Works Sex Sack

The first thing I have to mention about this is the fantastic bag it is presented in. 'Corset' style bags like this were a big hit in the fashion world not so long ago, and I was really pleasantly surprised to see such a beautifully well made one, considering that customers are essentially paying for its contents. This bag could either be used as an attractive way to store all your toys, or emptied of its contents and taken on a night out. The chances are if you use this to store your toys, if anyone should happen to find it they'll be too busy remarking on how nice the bag is to question what's inside it - an added bonus! The label promises three things: i) These toys are guaranteed waterproof. ii) These toys are made of phthalate-free material, and include an antibacterial additive to make everything more hygienic, and finally, iii) The bag contains 'an array of your favourite toys inside!'. Now, I'm a self-confessed sex-toy enthusiast, so while all three appealed, number three appealed most. Inside the bag there is a standard small bullet with three incredibly soft, very stretchy jelly sleeves. An added bonus is that this comes with two sets of batteries, so you can start using it straight away!

Also included is a thin rigid plastic vibrator with four optional sleeves. The vibrator itself isn't too noisy (neither is the bullet) but still packs a powerful punch. Admittedly, I wasn't too convinced by any of the sleeves. For a start, none of them really fitted the vibrator properly. Two were a bit too tight to slide on, so I used a little water-based lube, which ensured they slid on - but also made them slide right off again. The other two were a bit too big to fit, but I'm sure most women own standard rigid plastic vibes so you probably already have a vibrator in your collection that will fit these. One of the sleeves is designed to look like a fist, but is of a size to be considered only a replica 'baby' fist, and I really wasn't sure about that.When I showed my partner this set he wasn't sure whether to laugh or run for the hills. I can only presume if you're looking to get into fisting this sleeve would be good psychological preparation for it - otherwise I couldn't really see the point. All in all, a bit of a mixed bag (no pun intended!). I would like to recommend this for the bag alone, but I think the price tag would put anyone off buying it simply for that. If you already have an average sized plastic vibrator you wish to jazz up, I would recommend the sleeves that come with this kit, particularly the g-spot sleeve.

Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator

The Rabbit Vibrator: the most famous, most commonly owned, most talked-about vibrator ever created. It achieved its notoriety through the popular TV series Sex and the City, and with good reason. It's simply brilliant. I must confess that, prior to receiving this rabbit vibrator, I owned a much older model. It did the job but it was loud and it ate batteries like they were going out of fashion. Imagine the look on my face when I discovered a mains-rechargeable rabbit vibrator! I should have taken a photo. Beautifully crafted (and believe me, I feel a little strange about describing a vibrator as that!), complete with its own docking station to charge it (my partner took one look and announced it looked like a mini space-ship. I have to admit he was right!). The rabbit takes approximately 5 hours for its initial charge and you know it's ready to use when the light on the station goes green. As for performance, it has all the options us rabbitloving ladies are used to: three speeds for the rotating beaded shaft, the option to reverse the direction of rotation, and three speed settings for the now infamous bunny ears. It did not disappoint. And the battery holds its charge brilliantly. I actually took the toy away for the weekend to test it, and realised if I didn't let the battery run down it might get set off in my luggage, so I switched it on and left it running. I should have timed it, but believe me when I say, it will last the distance, no matter how much of a long-stayer you are! Yes, like all Rabbits, it is quite noisy, the bunny ears being the main culprit, but it isn't so bad you couldn't drown it out with some carefully selected music should you need to. I don't think they'll ever manufacture a silent rabbit, and the pros of the vibrator far outweigh this minor downside. The only other 'con' I can think of was I needed to buy a UK plug adaptor to get the charger working. I didn't mind going to buy one, I just wanted to try the vibrator out as soon as I got it, not wait till I could get to the shops! Ladies, if you wore out your last Rabbit or you're thinking of taking the plunge, joining the hoards of satisfied females and buying your first, I urge you to purchase this one.Well-made, guaranteed to get you off, and no more buying batteries for it ever again!

Assorted other products, reviewed by our in-house testers

Maxxximum Factor (Luscious Lipstick Vibe)

This is a brilliant little go anywhere, use anywhere toy. It is a mini-vibe, with variable speed, and is a discreet little number that looks just like an up-market lipstick, should a casual observer poke their nose into your handbag. Take off the top and, from a few feet, it even looks like a lipstick. I 'tested' it in several locations out and about and it certainly worked for me. A word of warning - don't try taking it on a plane as it will be picked up by X-ray and confiscated because of the batteries.

A nifty thing for those 'moments' - and it comes complete with batteries.

Diamond Silk Bling Vibe

Being only 13.5cm long, this vibe is also compact enough to carry in a handbag. But that is not its main advantage. Its real strength is that it's waterproof. Admittedly, having a Jacuzzi is the icing on the cake, but all the same, this little toy is perfect in any wet environment.
The surface is beautifully smooth and it has variable speed - however, I'm not quite sure what the bling studs add except decoration.
A very handy toy for all forms of water sports and sploshing.

Slam the Lamb - mini Blow-up Sheep

This is not so much a serious sex toy as a fun gift with sexual possibilities. It's the kind of item presented to a good friend on the occasion of a milestone birthday - or, indeed, the sort of offering it's fun to send to a good mate, wrapped in brown paper with a sticker bearing the legend, 'Warning, inflatable sex toy, in plain wrapper as requested'. 'Shauna', as I'll call her, does have a functioning orifice - but she is, I must emphasise, a very small sheep. Lots of lube needed. But making no bones about it, it is, as it says on the box, a novelty item.

King Kong - the Giant of the Jungle

The suppliers present this with the warning that it is 'one of the biggest vibes that we stock'. At 31cm in length, and a serious diameter in the region of 7cm, this item is not a toy for the faint-hearted - and given its size, will be beyond the capacity of a good many women - and men! Fisting would be good training for getting to grips with this monster - or vice versa! If nothing else, it would be useful for fending off burglars...
All items except the Pink Fleshlight are supplied by