Spanking for Novices

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There's more to 'a bit of slap and tickle' than the old Cockney phrase implies. SHM asked Master David, a committed spanker, for the lowdown - an introductory guide for 'new hands'...

For people looking for something to spice up their sex-life beyond different positions or partners, spanking is probably the most common next step. It often seems a very natural extension to a couple's regular sexual play, somehow seeming to flow seamlessly from the general fun and playfulness of good sex. Some people are content to leave it at that, but for others who want to take it a bit more seriously, there is a rich world of sensations and pleasures to be explored.

Fun - or punishment?

Before looking at how to enjoy these pleasures, you need to decide on the sort of spanking you want. On the scene there are three different basic categories. Firstly there are some people - not many - who put it at the heart of a relationship, and where the partner is spanked as a disciplinary activity.
Secondly, there are those who are only interested in spanking alone. Finally, there are the people who see it as part of a wider range of ways to play together. I'm going to talk about the second two where the spanking is for the pleasure of both people - and for the sake of simplicity I'm going to assume it is a guy spanking a girl. It doesn't have to be like that, as guys can get as much fun out of being spanked as girls - it just makes the writing easier.

When spanking someone, think of it as extended foreplay - you are taking someone on a sexual journey with all the fun of a rollercoaster ride. And key to that is understanding the body's response to being spanked. As you start to spank someone, the body starts to react and the skin on the bottom responds, diverting blood flow to the skin, and toughening the surface. At the same time, recognising that the bottom is being spanked, the body will start to release endorphins - which create a nice buzz. These two factors - the gradual toughening of the skin and the endorphins - combine to create that rollercoaster ride.

Striking the right note

The skill for the spanker is to manage the balance for the 'spankee' between pain and pleasure. You need to tease them along, and crucial to this is setting a sexy scene, and then warming up their bottom. To set the scene you might want to think of a fantasy e.g. naughty schoolgirl and headmaster, naughty maid and employer - something that explains why you are going to spank their bottom. And then you can get them to dress for and act out the scene. Dressing up in a short skirt, coming to be disciplined, having to take their knickers off and finally bending over your knee will all raise the sexual temperature. And the simple act of taking off their knickers, and bending over should generate an immediate thrill.

Now the skill of the spanker comes into play. The whole experience should always be enjoyable for both of you, but become more intense as time goes by. So you need to get things started by warming up their bottom.

Do this through a series of light spanks all over it. By doing this, you are initiating the changes to the skin, but it also gives you a chance to get a feel for their response - what is too light, and what is too heavy. In between the spanks you can stroke the skin and generally start to stimulate the body.With most people, after a few minutes you will be able to start spanking more firmly. The body will already be responding and you will need to adapt what you are doing to match the changes. Now you need to focus on the person you are spanking and see how they respond to your actions. This can take some practise - most people enjoy a repetitive rhythm, and you may find it helps to play some music that gives a strong beat that you can spank in time to.

Once the bottom is warmed up, you will find you need to start spanking harder as the body becomes used to the sensation - and this is where watching the response is important. Increase the force you use until you see that it is becoming too intense - then ease off for a little while, lightly stroking the bottom. Then you can start to build up again, gradually pushing your partner a little bit further. You can vary the places you spank, but always aim for areas of muscle, avoiding thin skin over bone Apart from that, move your hand around to see the effect. The join between the buttock and the leg can produce very favourable sensations, for example. You can spank the same area repeatedly, which will produce an intense localised effect, or you can spank two places, say left buttock, then right buttock. For most people it is important to keep up that steady rhythm as they start to get mentally in-tune with what is going on.

Communicating your response

It is important to avoid distractions while spanking, as it can spoil the mood. At the very beginning, you might need to ask if your touch is too soft or too hard - but as things progress, it can be distracting and annoying for the person being spanked if you keep asking questions. You should encourage them to give you feedback without you needing to ask. For example, if you are not spanking hard enough, they could wiggle their bottom as a come-on. If a feeling is too intense on one area, they could move their bottom to offer up another area - or they may tense their body, or their fists.

You need to watch for all of this, and adapt what you are doing - it's quite likely that you will find that you've been too timid to start with. Once you start spanking someone, they get used to it quite rapidly, so don't be scared to push things harder, as long as you watch for their responses. Some people enjoy being played with at the same time. Being spanked while having your pussy played with can be very erotic, but others prefer to just concentrate on the spanking.

Hopefully, if you have got things right, your partner will be in a state of bliss. Sometimes they may seem to go off into a little world of their own, especially with repetitive spanking.

Now you need to think through how you will end the spanking. Some women can come from being spanked, especially if you spank at the top of their legs, so that you are hitting their pussy too. (You need to be careful with this, as it can become painful if you hit too hard, but again you should be able to see the point where pleasurable pain becomes just pain!) Alternatively some people like it to end with a flourish, in a burst of hard, continuous spanking that pushes them right to the edge of what they can bear. This is guaranteed to produce an endorphin rush which will bring them a great blissed-out feeling. If you hold them firmly at the same time so they can't move, you can create an immense high as they give themselves up to all the sensations.

Finally some people like to countdown to the finish. For example, you say that you will give them ten hard spanks to end with, and then they count out each of them, as you do them quite slowly. The goal here is to make the anticipation of each spank add to the thrill. Once you have reached the end of the spanking you need to give your partner time to recover. If everything has worked out they should be happy and possibly a little dazed, so you should cuddle them and hold them until they come back down to earth. Something you need to be prepared for is that spanking may produce some bruising, depending on how hard it was. And the bottom may be a little sore to sit on - however, this usually acts as a pleasant reminder of what has happened, like the enjoyable ache you get from working out in the gym.

What next?

So, assuming you both enjoyed the spanking what do you do next? Some people just stick to spanking - others start to bring in other implements. These are all designed to produce different sensations, as the body rapidly gets used to the same one. Try using a wooden or leather paddle, or the back of a hairbrush - some people use wooden spoons. Or you can look at canes of different types. The sensations they cause tend to split into two categories - stingy ones as with canes, and thuddy ones like paddles. Some people like one or the other, or may like a stingy one after a lot of time with a thuddy one. You might try using different textures, perhaps using a soft furry glove to stroke the skin after it has been spanked, or scratching gently with your fingernails. It's all a case of experimenting to find what you like, but once you start you are sure to find it an erotic and exciting addition to your sex life.