It took me years to admit it but my wife is a cheating slut. Although I feel physically sick with jealousy at times, often I'm actually physically sick, I love knowing how attractive other men find her and even when sick with jealousy, the thought of her fucking another man is a massive turn on.

I love her slipping into bed with me after she's been fucked by another man. My arms go round her and I squeeze up tight and and immediately my jealousy goes, but the thought of what she’ been up to and the feel of her body in my arms brings me to the edge and it takes all my effort not to orgasm and I have to bite my lip or the pillow to stop myself from moaning out loud.

How she feels in my arms lets me know whether she is still in the mood to do with me what she's been doing just a little earlier with another man or not.  

Desperate as I always am to be inside her, in order to reclaim her properly and satisfy my need to orgasm, I know not to appear too keen or she'll simply deny me the right to cum and rub my nose in the fact that another man has already satisfied her that night, which she loves to do knowing what state it leaves me in.

There are also times, as recently, that she gets screwed when we are out totally humiliating me, which I sometimes think she finds as exciting as sex with other men. 

Saturday, we went to a bbq held by a work friend of hers who lives in the same village as us. My heart sank when I saw not only the predatory bastard that lives locally but that his wife was not with him to keep him under some kind of control as she was away on one of her business trips.

He made no pretense of not being interested, walking straight up to my wife, even though I was standing right next to her, and gave me a derisory look, which always makes the pit of my stomach churn.

I love her to bits as well as fancying her uncontrollably but there are times when I hate as well as adore and this was one of those times. She made no effort whatsoever to hide the fact from anybody that she was up for him. She started to flirt outrageously and totally ignored me standing next to her, and within a few minutes they wandered off.

I followed and saw them walking up the stairs with his hand on her hot round bottom.  As I watched them, I heard a few people laugh around me and comment on them together. 

Not being able to face anybody, I virtually ran out the front door and went for a walk up the road trying to control my feelings of anger, jealousy, hatred and as always confusing sexual desperation.

I eventually pulled myself together after about 30 minutes and went back in praying that she'd be back downstairs. I was in luck and I saw her almost immediately getting herself some food and chatting to her friends.

There were a few people dancing to a slow number on one of the patios so I walked up to her and asked her to put her food down and dance with me, which to my surprise and delight she agreed to without any hesitation.

As we danced closely, my feelings of anger and jealousy subsided and I just needed her desperately. I leaned into her and whispered, 'I love you and you turn me on so much it hurts'. She replied 'you're not too bad yourself scrubbed up'! 'So, please can we go home to bed'I blurted out.

She put her head back, looked at me and simply said 'No'. And then after a pause continued, 'you know you have to be a good boy and earn it'.  I begged and begged and even pleaded with her to take me home and let me fuck her but to no avail.

My hopes were eventually dashed entirely when the bastard walked up to whilst we were talking and she told me to go home and laughingly informed me that she was spending the night with the arrogant bastard in his bed. 

The nights when she's back in my arms but I can feel that sex is out the question are in many ways the best. I lay awake for hours with her in my arms, listening to her breathing and imagining the latest bastard whose cock she’s been impaled on. 

Knowing who he is makes the jealousy even more acute but also the excitement when I lay next to her afterwards even more intense. I just wish they could see her back in our bed, which she always comes back to, sleeping peacefully in the  arms of the man who loves her.

After a few hours, I cannot help myself and my hands make their way down between her legs and feeling her wake my his cock hardens is always the start of the best. Most loving, most exciting, most gratifying sex any man has ever had.