It was about 1980. I was single, early 20s, slim and had recently moved to London from East Anglia and was living alone in a bed sit. My girlfriend stayed on the coast but would come up to London and stay with me some weekends. I considered myself to be wildly heterosexual and was always looking to bed other women when the opportunity arose, which it often did and have lots of tales about those times too. There was a big BUT too. The but was that although I thought of myself as completely straight, I did have fantasies about guys and cocks. Sometimes, on a night in, I would pick up a gay porn magazine from the top shelf of the newsagents on the way home. I would then spend the evening masturbating furiously about the pictures of naked men and the stories. The following day I would feel really guilty and throw the mag away on the way to work. I was nervous about doing anything more about this but began to realise that underneath the surface there was another world which fascinated me without delving into it. My job involved lots of travel around London. I found out by accident that if you went to the Gents toilet on Victoria station there were lots of guys standing at the urinals when I came in but were still there when I washed my hands and came out. I started to go there occasionally after work as I was working close by and watched guys discretely wanking. On one occasion I stood next to an attractive guy in a suit at the urinal and was amazed that as soon as I looked down at his hard cock he ejaculated hard with his spunk shooting out onto the porcelain, this was a huge for me. Other times I would walk in and a guy would wink at me. It was obviously a pick up joint too but I was too nervous to do anything about it at the time. I also went to the men only sauna at the Burlington Arcade at Piccadilly. In those days I was happy to go along, realise that older men were staring at my naked body and were turned on by it. Sometimes I would start to get an erection as they looked at me. I would open my towel and show my erect cock. I would then feel nervous or guilty and head straight to the private shower cubicle where I would masturbate and then quickly leave.

In those times the London Evening Standard had a small "Health" section and would run adverts for massage in London. The ads were not explicit in any way and were usually aimed at men who wanted to be massaged by women. I assumed these were brothels but never visited one. I had plenty of contact with women anyway and was probably bedding different birds I picked up in local pubs at least once a month on top of the weekend sex with my girlfriend.

The Standard had one advert that caught my eye. It said quite simply "Chinese male massage" and gave an 01-828 - telephone number which meant it was in the Victoria area. I rang a couple of times to find the price and location without committing myself to making an appointment. Then one day I took the plunge and made an appointment. You could book an hour at what seemed a reasonable price which included a shower before and after the massage and it was located in a basement flat just behind Victoria Coach station. I booked the first appointment of the next day which was 12.00 midday. I had no idea what to expect but was greeted at the door by a young oriental guy dressed in a loose-fitting white top and bottom outfit you would expect to see a judo person in. He was about the same age as me. He showed me to the room and he told me to shower & lie face down on the massage table. I followed his instructions and when he started the massage he loosened the towel leaving it hanging gently across my bottom. I was the first time I had ever been touched by another guy and after massaging my back, arms and legs he rubbed oil into my buttocks which was a complete turn on. When he asked me to turn over I could not avoid the inevitable hard on as I lay flat on my back. I heard him take a deep breath, I was embarrassed and just closed my eyes as covered up my middle area. I think he was new to this too. After having most of my front area done he started doing my feet and working his way up to the top of my legs. I was super turned on and rock hard as he lifted the towel up and just cupped my bollocks with his hand and held it there for at least a minute. It was heaven and he removed the towel completely, looked at me lying there and then wanked my cock till I shot over my own tummy and chest.  He gently cleaned up. As soon as I had cum I felt completely guilty, I showered and couldn’t leave soon enough.

After a few weeks the guilt subsided and life continued as normal. My curious side re-emerged soon after and I decided to book another massage. Everything was as before except this time, to my surprise it was a different masseur. He too was oriental, slim, longish dark hair and very attractive. He too was in a judo outfit. The massage followed the same pattern though he was a little more adventurous when massaging my arse with fingers gently running over my arsehole and sometimes pushing a finger into it. It was heaven. When he turned me over he didn't bother covering my middle. His oily hands were everywhere over my body including my stiff cock and it was amazing. I didn't know what to do but I reached out and felt his cock which was hard too under his outfit. I pulled the bottoms down and saw his cock which was stiff and lovely. For the first time ever I leant forward and started to suck his cock. I couldn't believe what I was doing and it tasted and felt amazing. After a while he stepped back and pulled off his top leaving us both naked. He then told me to lie back down on the massage table but move my bottom further down the table. I had no idea what was going to happen but he then poured massage oil over his hard cock and with me lying on my back lifted my legs up while he pushed his cock up my arse. He then started to fuck me hard and forcefully and as he did so he started to wank me off at the same time. It was pleasurable but painful simultaneously. None of this was planned, I hadn't even fantasised previously about fucking with another guy. It was crazy and amazing and we both came at the same him. He clearly knew what he was doing. He spunked up my arse with my legs up in the air and I shot over my own tummy. It was the first and only time I had unprotected sex with a man.

As soon as he pulled out and cleaned me up I went for a shower. He came in and asked me if I was ok. The guilt came on quickly again but I left soon after and I never saw him again or even knew his name.