I am re publishing my story from some years ago. When very young, I was often mistaken for a girl and have always looked young for my age with an abundance of blonde hair, big blue eyes and smooth fair skin. Lonely as a child, hating masculine pursuits, I took comfort secretly dressing in my sister and mothers clothes, stockings, lingerie, high heels, make up and jewellery. . But it was not until I was away at university that I could allow myself to look vulnerable in front of men. The closest garment that I could legitimately wear in public was swimming briefs. This was always embarrassing because my small penis always became erect when men looked at me. I knew they were laughing- though I went on to find that many men responded unpleasantly toward me because they wanted to fuck me. At that time I was in a relationship with a black colleague from the local tax office, where I worked. The first time he had touched my rather tiny bald sex had been in his car. He got rather excited when he pulled down my tight blue jeans, revealing the outline of my little bulge through yellow satin briefs. He gripped me there so hard that I squealed in pain, my injured helpless testicles escaping up under the skin covering my prominent pubic bone. When he felt them there, he said: That is nice, you feel like a proper girlie now.’ I closed my eyes, ashamed of myself, but excited that this was happening in a grim backstreet where anyone might come along. While he was crushing, hurting and exciting my sex, he rasped in his middle aged Trinidadian accent, ‘girl, I like your pantie, so smooth and yellow is a cowards colour. Feeling the aggressive pressure of his big hand, hearing his patronising words, my little ball sac tightened as he milked me painfully through the smooth satin of skimpy underwear. He kept on hurting me after I had cum, telling me how he wanted to expose me to other men. Because I had just cum for a middle aged black man, I was very embarrassed. I never produced much cum, but he insisted on wiping me and licking me clean. But by the time he had driven me back to the bottom of my mother's drive, I was starting to fantasise about lots of men seeing me in little yellow silky briefs. The black man asked if I had any swimming trunks. These were the days when men wore silky little swimming briefs. I said I had only blue ones but that one of my sisters had a yellow silky bikini. I said I knew where it was because I often sneakily ‘borrowed’ my mother and sister’s clothes. ‘Good, get her swimming pantie. Good job you not got much hair down there. Get it all for day after tommow. Night time, I take you to swimming pool. Get some friends to come and meet you with me. As he spoke, one of his hands stroked my blushing cheeks and silky blonde hair, while the other pushed inside my tee shirt, pulling my nipples and down to my miniscule but again very erect circumcised sex. My panties were stiil damp and he began squeezing me hard again. It was a good job the houses in our street were large and some distance apart, behind high hedges, because I came at the thought of being at the mercy of a group of contemptuous black men. The orgasm hurt and nothing came out of my sex, but he held it tight as it twitched and throbbed, crushed by his powerful fingers. Exposed and used in yellow silky panties Part two by Roberta I thought of little else all next day. My sister was away at boarding school, so on the day I was due to meet the old West Indian and his friends,I had no problem getting her yellow silky bikini bottoms. I could not resist taking the halter neck top as well. It was small and made the most of my natural little tits- I have unusually high female hormone levels I also took some make up, including bright red lipstick. Back in my bedroom, I carefully pulled the tight girlie swimming briefs up my slim hairless thighs, tucking my small balls up in front of my bald pubic bone and my flaccid micro penis snugly between my legs. I pulled the briefs very tight, admiring my girlie tingling satin covered sex mound, in my wardrobe mirror. My thighs were, and still are, so skinny, men would have no difficulty seeing and grabbing the flat space between my legs. Though I was aroused, I had no hard on. I just felt exquisitely soft and beautiful, brushing my newly washed shoulder length blonde hair and wishing I could wear make up and the halter top of the bikini. Still I decided to pack make up and top in my duffel bag in case I had the chance of dressing more girlie later on. Next, I pulled on tight stretch blue jeans, tee shirt, and trainers (not bothering with socks. I was shaking a little as I walked down the drive to get into the black man's Rover 2000. When I noticed there was another black in the car and two more in the back, I nearly fainted. But the tingling between my legs gave me no choice but to go through with it. Wiggling my hips provocatively, I went around to the driver's door to tell my lustful friend that I had forgotten something. 'Oh well hurry up bitch, we can't wait all day.' His harsh tone scared and excited me all at the same time. I was sure they would appreciate me going back home. I just had to have the halter top and make-up on if I was going to sit in the back of the car between two big black men. I also took the trouble to put on one of my sister's little skirt suit jackets- adding the skirt, bra panties, nylons and suspender belt to the contents of my bag. My trainers were replaced by a white pair of my sister's flat shoes. I looked and felt very much like the girl I needed to be. I had also slipped a little panty pad into my briefs because my circumcised sex had become moist at the thought of being in the back of the car sandwiched between men with big black hands. It was no problem because both of my parents were out at a dinner party. It would not take much to make me cum. When I touched myself through panties, with my balls tucked away, I orgasmed painfully and without erection. The pain excited me and I wanted them to excite and give me a very painful orgasm. A big bald headed black man, in workman's clothes got out of the back nearside passenger seat as I approached, holding the door open and eyeing me lasciviously as I nervously bent my knees to get into the middle back seat. The man n the other seat was soon touching my thigh, forcing a calloused hand between my trembling thighs and saying: 'You very nice little bitch. Vernon was not lying about you slut. We have lotta fun. Forget de swimming pool, we take you see where other half live and make you cum slut.' Then I felt the pressure of the other black against my left side. His weight made the car suspension sag. The old black man had the car moving before the door was shut. I knew this was because they could not wait to get their hands on me and their penises inside me. I nearly fainted as both of them took turns groping me through my tight jeans. I knew my sex, bottom and breasts were going to experience exquisite torment and pain. The fact that I would feel humiliated afterwards made the thought of what was going to happen even more impossible to resist I was going to be a slut for the rest of my sexual life. I was never going to be a man. I was going to be no more than a man's plaything. My sex was being crushed and all four men were making vile comments about me as they headed for the main road from leafy surburbia to the immigrant ghetto. There would be no swimming, I thought. Still I could not wait for them to see my skinny white body in the little yellow silky bikini.