,been with my wife for 34 yrs .since I was 19 ,she was 18, I found out just after having our kids that she had an affair with a policeman while we were engagded,i would never let my kids down and we agreed to stay together for there sake.... she also had two more affairs with policemen she worked with within 3 yrs of our marriage , we went on to have kids with me knowing nothing about it ,I always trusted her completely [my mistake,never trust ] iv always loved my mrs and always made love to her , and more often than not she has orgasmed every time , I have never been unfaithfull to her and would never have been , but from the day I found out.i went on a sex spree ,even with my sister in law ,one of her friends ,umpteen waitresses ,bar maids and customers , iv since had sex with 57 women and none of that has made the hurt ,broken heart and everything else that goes with it go away so I stopped it to be ...my natural self .the thing is, iv never made love to her since ..and cannot ever let my feelings go again I still love her but im not ..in love ..with her anymore ,she does know this and iv tried to explain and told her about my sexual exploits ,maybe in the hope that it would hurt her the same way ....but it did;nt, we have sex but its never been the same ,there are always the thoughts ...deep down of what she did , she rarely orgasms anymore , and to a certain degree ...I don't care ,as far as I know she has never been unfaithfull since and says she loves me , always has , and never loved anyone else after 34 years...she says the affairs seemed exciting at the time and working at a police station as a civi it was the norm there , its an incestial place to work she says , 20 yrs have gone by now since I found out and our kids are grown up and fled the nest , my dilemma now we are left on our own , do I carry on as 99%of the time we are good ....thks for reading and ps guys and gals , think carefully before you have an affair about what you realy want