This events told here happened 4 years ago. It has taken me some time to come to term with my actions which remain a secret so I have changed names etc. This all started when my wife decided to return to work after a protracted maternity break in 2012. My wife’s role involves an element of shifts and I work full time. After a short period of relying on friends and family we made the decision to employ a live in au pair who could look after our children whenever we were not around. The first au pair didn’t settle in England and went home quite quickly. The agency found an immediate replacement. I remember collecting au pair number 2 from the airport and being pleasantly surprised when I met her - she was tall dark and pretty. Her English was good, she setttled in quickly and the kids liked her. Over the next few months things settled down and at least one day a week I worked from home - usually Friday’s. On those days Kristina and I started to spend more time together, chatting, drinking tea. I noticed that when no one else was around Kristina became chatty and flirty but as soon as anyone else was in the house she resorted to being quiet and reserved. At Christmas I took Kristina to the airport early on a Saturday morning , so she could fly home for the festive period. We talked in the car and I felt I was going to miss her. It was awkward in the airport but I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she hugged me. It all felt odd and there was definitely chemistry brewing. When I collected her in the new year my wife made me take the kids to the airport so it was all a bit of an anticlimax but she looked good and I was pleased to see her. It was later that year (2013) the weather was nice so it must have=ve been spring or summer. I was working at home and making lunch, Kristina was hanging around the kitchen cleaning or pretending to clean. She was in jeans and a tight white t shirt - her small breasts and tight arse catching my attention. In the close confines of the kitchen we were moving around each other talking until we sort of bumped into each other. Every stopped as Jristina stood in front of me, she’d been flirting and seeking my attention all morning. She looked beautiful. I stepped forward and completely out of character and kissed her on the lips. There was a long pause before she asked why I’d done that. I said because you looked beautiful. She asked if I’d do it again which I did but this time she responded and we kissed passionately. My heart was racing, I was kissing a 23 year old who was tall, slim and very hot. After kissing for a time Kristina took me by the hand and led me to her bedroom, I thought we were going to get down to business but she wanted to talk. She asked me what was going to happen? I obviously said I didn’t know but she set the parameters for us to have a discreet relationship without anyone knowing we were lovers. Looking very vulnerable she then asked if I’d like to take her to bed. It was midday and I pulled her t shirt over her head and grappled with her skinny jeans. In a pale blue bra and small knickers she clambered under the sheets. I stripped to my boxer shorts and joined her in her bed. We quickly resumed kissing and started touching each other. I explored her beautiful small breasts and tiny nipples. Her pussy was trimmed and much hairier than I’d imagined. It was wet and I lost no time in exploring her with my tongue. She quickly told me it had been a long time since she’d been with a man. I was enjoying myself but I did feel guilty and nervous. After a long period of foreplay I found myself on top of Kristina and between her legs; it was time to fuck and she looked me deeply in the eyes’ I could see she really wanted me. My cock not suprisingly was very hard and it took a time to get my cock in Kristina’s tight pussy; after a bit of fiddling it went in and I started to pump in and out of her, she held on and her legs were up in the air. I lost all my inhibitions as I started to thrust in and out of her, she was tight and it felt good . Just as I built a rhythm and was building towards a climax Kristina emerged from her loud panting to say ‘don’t come inside me’. I was very excited and very hard and not entirely sure when my spunk was going to start flowing so I did the sensible thing and pulled out. I positioned Kristina above me in a 69 position allowing her to finish me off with her hand and her mouth whilst I could lick her clit to another orgasm. I came in her mouth and she licked and swallowed everything down. The sex was good, very good but the hour we spent talking afterwards was even better. It was immediately clear that this was not a one off, we were going to be lovers and this wasn’t just about sex. Over the next few weeks Kristina and I found a couple of times a week where we knew we were alone for long enough for us to jump into her bed and have sex. The sex was good and whilst I felt sexually fulfilled there much more to it than that. Kristina was a close friend, I cared about her, I loved her company, she made me laugh. Kristina’s pussy was so tight, I couldn’t get enough of it. She would ride me reverse cowgirl and I’d love watching her little arse slid back and forth as my erect cock would slide in and out of that tight hairy pussy. I always climaxed in her mouth and she’d guzzle down every drop. I guess it was invevitable but just as I started to get some sexual fulfilment with Kristina my wife (Sonia) started to get more sexually demanding . She’d started waking in the night aroused and needed instant pleasure. We were regularly making love in the early hours, half asleep. I was happy to oblige but felt guilty like I was cheating on Kristina and I was keen to keep the noise down. I did enjoy the freedom of being able to completely let go and ejaculate inside my wife. Kristina and I got into a habit of spending virtually all day on Friday in bed together, making love and talking. On Fridays we’d fuck 6 or 7 times and we’d both be sore by mid afternoon- unable to do it anymore. We usually found time for a quick session elsewhere in the week, usually after the kids had been dropped off at school and I’d leave late for work. My wife never suspected for a second but for the fifteen months the relationship lasted I felt emotionally closer to Kristina than I did my wife. Kristina returned to her home country in the summer of 2014 and other than a few messages just after she got home I have heard nothing. I miss her. I have been through a process of feeling guilty and ashamed of my behaviour in relation to my wife, my family and my marriage but much of that has dissipated since my wife confessed to a one night stand with a colleague at a works event recently. My marriage is good, we both like sex and we like having sex with each other but like many couples in their early 40s I think we both need to have some sex outside the marriage. We are pretty grown up and we’ve discussed swinging etc. I’m not sure what we’ll do next but I know Sonia is excited by other men and doesn’t want to restrict her sex life to me. I guess I need to pluck up the courage to tell her I need the same and maybe tell her about Kristina and me.