I was 18 and couldn't get the courage to get a girl,the way out I thought was to do religion so joined an order of religious brothers,I thought celibacy was the answer.For the first couple of weeks I shared a dormitory with 6 other lads and then was allocated to a shared room. My companion brother was much older than me and had already been in the order for over 30 years ,we didn't share a lot of conversation which I didn't mind because of his questions about my private sexual behaviour. The top drawer of his bedside table was half open when I went to our room after lunch,I had been up much earlier than him,which I often did because of almost uncontrollable sexual desire. Iwas going to shut the drawer and couldn't fail to see what turned out to be a gay and very explicit magazine. Don't do it I told myself,I was for some reason trembling,my desires were running wild. I very carefully removed the magazine,there were others underneath. Unbelievable I had never heard anything about two men having sex with each other,and there it was page after page of men in sexy undies fondling each other,I felt breathless as I turned to see men masturbating on their own or with others,and then I was in disbelief as there on 3 pages , though not completely explicit men appeared to be indulging in anal intercourse. Resisting masturbation was one of the hardest things I had ever endured,but not really thinking of why men behaving like that had caused me such arousal. I replaced the magazine as carefully as I had removed it and left our room .For the rest of the day my mind could not think of anything else,it felt as if my erection would burst,luckily wearing just undies under my habit was a help. He was in bed when I turned in,the room was still relatively bright,he appeared to be asleep but for the first time I was conscious of getting naked in his presence. I also recalled a comment he had made when I first shared with him,that he liked to sleep naked and I suppose that being the first time I'd shared with just one other man we both accepted that being naked in the situation was OK. Panic almost set in when I was suddenly aware of one of the sex magazines on his bed,even worse I was sexually aroused as I knelt by my bed to pray. I could almost feel that he was awake,knowing that I would have to get off my knees,I hoped I was wrong. I was right, he was looking straight at my nakedness when I stood up,never in my life had I felt so mortified,it seemed as if it was the first time he was suddenly aware of my presence,the movement of his bedclothes suggested his hand was between his own legs. MY SEX LIFE WAS ABOUT TO TAKE OFF.