It was the first time he had spoken to me in our shared bedroom,it was merely a whisper,he muttered something about it being completely normal. I didn't know how the other members of the order coped with their sexual urges,for me it was my guilty secret and even though I believed it was wrong there were times when it was overwhelming and on the few occasions when you could have a bath on your own,,,(the "bath house"contained 4 tubs and you seldom bathed alone,)I would masturbate. Regardless of his supportive whisper I was glad to get under the bedclothes,turning away from his gaze. I was aware of his restlessness and the sound of his movement but my own arousal was ruling my thoughts,what I wouldn't have given to masturbate. Looking back I didn't recognise his increased and deep breathing for what it was,I was in denial about sex,the increased audible movement of his bed at his moment of ejaculation didn't register with me,perhaps I was too preoccupied with my own rock hard cock. Over the next week or so he seemed to spend more and more time in the bedroom naked,often in a state of semi or full sexual arousal,I would find him lying on top of his bed reading or asleep,not always but occasionally with a hard cock. On a couple of occasions I found him asleep,his cock limp and red,beside him on the floor one or more of his sex magazines leaving very little to the imagination,and even then it didn't click At first I thought it was a sexual dream which often happened,now with vision of some of the pictures in his magazine,I was being fondled by another man,I remember it being unbelievably pleasant,I wanted it to last.I wasn't sure at first had I come awake or it was all part of the dream.I put my hand down to my cock,there was already another hand there and it wasn't mine,but it was creating sensations through my body that was blowing my mind. I was fully awake but rather than rejecting his attentions I was wallowing in them. I could feel the throbbing of his hard cock which was something I had become visually familiar with,now tight against my naked bottom. I had not masturbated for a couple of weeks so my need was massive,I knew what was happening wasn't right , it was sinful,but it was a case of "what the fuck". Harder and harder he was grinding his cock onto and between my cheeks. My ejaculation was awesome,at that moment the state of the bed sheets was of no consequence,as my cum was covering a large area of material. I wasn't aware of him emptying his own cum between the cheeks of my bottom,we lay locked in an embrace for a short time as our bodies succumbed to sleep. When I finally awakened he was already up and gone,he had left fresh sheets by my bed. I left the order a couple of months later,but during that time I became almost addicted to mam/man sex,indulging in sex with another likeminded "brother" and my first experience of threesome sex,both of them talked about their experience of public toilet sex and after leaving the order that was my obvious port of call.